TW PTSD, implied self harm, burns, swearing, mentioned suicide/thoughts, dark humor,
Please let me know if I missed any
I tried to make hurt/comfort, and I'm posting this before I start hating it.
Ranboo would love to say things went right back to the way they were, but that was impossible. There was something between all three of them that sort of went unresolved, a tension that grew as the weeks went on.
All three of them were trying to move on from the incident, and Ranboo couldn't understand what was left unresolved. Most times, it was easy to ignore it though, the three of them talked and laughed and played together, even outside of school.
But sometimes, Ranboo could see all the holes where their relationship was falling apart at the seams. He knew the string had to snap at some point, and it would leave the three of them scrambling to pick up the pieces, or go their separate ways.
Sometimes they wonder if it's really worth it, to keep a friendship together that's destined to fall. But he also sees Tommy and Tubbo smiling, and knows he has to try, even if he knows from the start that it would end in disaster.
Ranboo could see Tommy was on a precipice, teetering between giving up, and being here. He doesn't blame him, after all, in that way they are one in the same.
He could also see Tubbo falling apart, desperately trying to keep everything together. They could see it in the way his eyes went unfocused, or hardened. Or when he snapped and then recoiled as if he had been snapped at too.
They were just like snakes, biting one another because they were bitten by one of the others.
"Ranboo, hey, Ranboo, let's go, we can't wait all day."
"Oh, sorry." He said sheepishly, "just thinking."
"Mhm, well stop whatever you're thinking, and think about climbing." Tubbo said, mock disapprovingly.
Ranboo huffed in mock annoyance, and started climbing the ladder. They had found an abandoned tree house, and claimed it as their own.
He reached the top, and smiled at his friends. The three of them brought paint to refurbish the place. Tommy smuggled some pale yellow from his house, and Ranboo had some primer and red and blue. Tubbo brought a bunch of different paintbrushes, and they made up a plan.
They made a makeshift pulley system to bring the paint up, and found an old rope swing that they attached.
So today was the day they would paint.
Ranboo popped the top off the primer, and Tommy and Tubbo dipped their paintbrushes into it.
He walked outside with the colored paint. There was a small deck like platform around the outside of the tree house, perfect for sitting on and painting.
They poured some of the yellow, and a little bit of blue onto the deck and mixed it to make a pretty shade of green.
He was going to keep the natural wood color, but wanted to add something more. So he started painting, making small downward streaks around the base of the tree house. He let his mind drift off, as it was just muscle memory.
Tommy was a dying flame, sputtering and re-lighting, flickering and dimming. Ranboo couldn't help but worry how much longer he could've gone before being snuffed out entirely.
Tubbo however, was completely different, snapping, and lashing out the way Tommy used to. Never around Ranboo though, he tread lightly around his flinchy friend.
Tommy drew on his arms, which made Ranboo happy, especially when the blond hesitantly showed off his drawings. Scars littered his arms, but Ranboo paid no mind to it, after all, they were healing.
Then he would grin, and roll up his sleeves and draw something, fully aware that Tommy could see the burns and cuts on their arms.
"How do you do it?" Tommy asked, one day, as Ranboo drew a flower on their forearm.
"How do I do what?" Ranboo asked absentmindedly.
"How are you so comfortable with me looking at your scars?"
"I'm not." He said simply, "it tears me up to do this, just as it did the day we all apologized to each other. But that's the point. To step out of your comfort zone."
He bent down and picked up a flower, rolling the stem between his fingers.
"It's far from easy, and most times I want to run away, and not look back." They looked up to Tommy. "But I tried that already, and look where we all landed."
He was met with silence as Tommy pondered it, the fierce spark that he had when Ranboo met him was gone.
● ● ●
"Alright, let's call it a day." Ranboo said, walking into where the other two were finishing the second coat of primer.
The three put lids on paints, and washed the brushes in the tub of water they had brought to the base of the tree earlier.
"See you tomorrow!" Tubbo shouted as he skipped off to his house, leaving the other two to walk to their houses.
Ranboo won't admit it out loud, but he enjoys it much better when it was the three of them together. The relationship didn't seem so fragile, or strained when it was all three of them. It was just less awkward than being one on one with either of them.
Ranboo waved to Tommy, and pushed open his door, flopping into a chair in the kitchen with a sigh.
Doing things was tiring.
●○○●○○●
"So, do you two want to hang out at the park this afternoon?" Tubbo asked during our last class.
"Sure." Ranboo said, ignoring how much he wanted to go home and not talk to others.
"Sorry Tubbo, Phil wanted to take me somewhere after school." Tommy said apologetically.
"S'ok Tom, go hang out with Phil."
"Let me shoot Rain a text." He said, pulling out his phone, and thanking the fact he was in art.
"Alright."
Rain
Hey, do you mind
if I hang out at park?
Knock yourself out,
just don't get
kidnapped.
Thx!
○●○●○
Tubbo was always listening and talking with gentle patience, that reminded Ranboo of a therapist in the worst way possible.
He knew Tubbo meant it in the best way, but it had to stop.
"Hey Tubbo?" He questioned, looking up at the sky.
"Yeah?"
"Can you, just talk to me normally? It freaks me out when people talk like that." Ranboo twisted his hands together apologetically.
"Uh, yeah, sure bossman."
"Thanks."
"Actually, I wanted to ask you something." Tubbo said, almost timidly.
"Alright."
"Is Tommy okay?" He blurted, "it's just, I feel really bad whenever I look at him, and think 'I did that to him', but at the same time I don't care anymore about how I hurt people."
Tubbo fell back into the grass, and scrubbed his hands over his face. "Fuck, I said too much, I'm sorry Ranboo."
Ranboo laid back down so his head was next to Tubbo's. "It's alright, to ask questions and to talk about things."
You should listen to that advice
"Yeah." Tubbo trailed off.
"Tommy is getting better, he just has- problems at home."
Tubbo turned to face him, "You know something, don't you?"
"I have a guess, and that's all."
"You are the shittiest liar ever."
"Wh- How am I lying." Ranboo sputtered.
Tubbo scoffed, "It takes a liar to know one."
"You're lying, you're lying and I fucking know it." Tubbo said bitterly, propping himself up.
"So what? I do have a guess, and it feels unfair to share something like this without Tommy's consent."
"You know something that you won't say."
"I know a lot of things that I will never say." Ranboo bites back, a little harsher than necessary.
Tubbo looked almost taken aback before he stood up.
"Tubbo, I- I didn't mean it that way." Ranboo scrambled to stand up.
"Well what other fucking way did you mean it?!" He shouted. "What other fucking way besides, 'I won't ever trust you with that information?' Did you ever plan on trusting me? Or Tommy?"
Ranboo stood there, unsure if he would ever trust them.
"You never did." Tubbo breathed. "You never planned on trusting us, did you?"
"I- I don't know, I don't know Tubbo. It's- complicated."
He wasn't supposed to be down here, but they forgot to feed him, for literal weeks.
Another smiling face, maybe this time it would be true.
He screamed, but the man only pressed harder, making another circular burn on his arm.
She looked at him with distain, "Is it that hard to keep your shoes from being muddy?"
I don't want him anymore.
He's not right for me.
I'm not looking to adopt a preteen.
I don't want a kid with PTSD.
"It's- it's complicated."
Biggest understatement of the year.
"But it's not complicated enough to hide from Tommy." Tubbo muttered.
Ranboo immediately became defensive. "I haven't told Tommy anything." He insisted, crossing his arms.
Tubbo scoffed again, "please, I've seen the glances you throw at each other, I've seen the way you two reassure each other."
A small smile to encourage, an elbow to make sure he's still there.
"You don't know what you're talking about." Ranboo said softly.
"I think I know exactly what I'm talking about! You two both know something that I don't, and you are talking about being good friends? Well friends tell each other things other friends know about!"
Ranboo flinched, and Tubbo's eyes immediately softened. "I- I'm sorry Ranboo, I just-"
"I get it." Ranboo said, holding back tears, I just can't talk to you right now. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? When I can figure things out."
"O-okay." Tubbo said, his eyes shining, probably the same as Ranboo's. "See you tomorrow Ranboo."
Ranboo turned, and walked away, to the only place away from his house. He loves Rain, but they worry too much over him.
He sat down, with his legs dangling through the holes in the bridge as he watched the water churn below, and he cried. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he sobbed.
What was he going to do?
"I hope you don't plan on jumping." A voice said, and Ranboo turned around to see Tommy with a half hearted grin. "At least tell me so I can join you."
Ranboo laughed wetly. "No, I'm just clearing my head before I go home."
Tommy nodded and sat down with them. "I'll take it the park hangout went terribly."
He sniffed, "Yeah, I guess it did."
Tommy reached out, but hovered over the sniffling boy's shoulder. Ranboo nodded, "I only flinch when you come up behind me."
Tommy pulled him into a hug, rubbing small circles into his back. "It'll work out eventually." He whispered softly.
"It will." The taller whispered back.
After all, once the string snaps you get a sting of pain that wanes over time.
Ranboo wishes it would just wane faster.
________________________________
Damn, almost 2000 words?
I'm proud of myself.
Also, platonic relationships 👍
I don't know, I don't think I would make a good romance writer.
Have a great day/night my friends! 💙🖤💚❤️💙🖤💚❤️