THE TENDERNESS BEHIND THORNS
[Alternate Universe]
It started with an outstretched hand.
"Join me," an offer that I rejected almost immediately.
It was the beginning of the apocalypse. And... that man just went on a killing spree.
I am no innocent, nor am I any better. I did the same to survive.
Something about this man makes me tremble like a lamb entering a wolf's den... and yet, drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked, wiping the blood off my cheek.
I realized after just a couple of minutes that I am no match for whoever this is.
It wasn't a fair fight. It was suicide.
I thought to myself, did he use some kind of a cheat?
Maybe he was just better than the rest of us.
But my thoughts were cut off by a throbbing pain in the back of my neck, "You'll know eventually."
-•-
"Yoo Jonghyuk!" I called, perhaps now was the right time.
"What?" He responded from the other side. It was impressive how his voice remained still even when facing a great opponent.
I gulped, swallowing back the words that I was trying to let out.
It was harder than I thought.
I love you...
Just three words. I just had to say three words and this would be all over.
But I just had to chicken out at the last second every single time. It was maddening.
"That... be careful," I tighten my grip on my sword and buried it in the throat of one of the enemies with added force.
"I should be the one telling you that."
-•-
"Seolwha..."
"I have your blessing, right?" She was smiling so sweetly when she asked.
"Why... why would you need my approval?"
She grabbed my hands, "Cause you're my best friend, silly. And you're important to Jonghyuk too."
I smiled, looking up at the sky and trying not to blink, holding back the tears.
"So, do I have your blessing?"
[The constellation 'Princess of Self-Ruin' is looking down sadly at you]
[The constellation 'Celestia' is looking away]
[The constellation 'Spirit of Chaos' offers a virtual back rub]
I screamed. But it was only in my mind.
"Y-Yeah, you guys... you're perfect for each other..." I can't look her in the eyes so I turned my attention elsewhere.
Just my luck, it landed on Yoo Jonghyuk who was staring from afar.
I clenched my fist as a tear rolled down my face.
Why did I refuse to acknowledge the fact that these two have something going on?
I was foolish to think that I could be more than just a mere companion.
-•-
At the very start, the relationship was sort of parasitic. In which one benefits from the other.
If I were to describe this one-sided love. He'd be a cactus, and I'd be a balloon.
It was cruel to imagine that I'd still run into him even if he was covered with thorns.
"You changed," it was a sudden statement from Lee Jihye.
"What changed?" I asked, turning to face her.
She flinched a little, it was barely noticeable but she did.
"Unnie... are you okay?" She asked. This little girl has cared about me since the beginning.
"I guess months into the apocalypse make one person a lot stronger."
"You're strong already... you've just turned... I don't know... cold?"
Cold?
"I don't know if it's just me, unnie. But ever since... you know... your entire persona changed. Sometimes, in battle or not, you give me chills."
"What?"
"Look, what I'm trying to say is. Do you...?" She makes a weird gesture with her eyebrows.
I looked at her confused.
She sighed and whispered, "Do you have feelings for master?"
"I do not."
"Liar."
"I have no feelings for your master." I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Fine, why don't you look me in the eyes and say it then. I dare you."
I scoffed, "You're ridiculous."
"Scared?" Lee Jihye scared, "If you really don't, there's no need to refuse."
"I don't like your boldness."
"Changing the topic I see."
Just to make her stop, I did as she said. Holding both her shoulders and looking into her eyes I spoke, "I have no feelings for Yoo Jonghyuk."
Lee Jihye smiled sadly, "If you say so."
I smiled, that was a trap. How could I allow myself to fall for such trick?
"Hah," I comb my hair upwards, chuckling at my own stupidity.
She got me. She definitely... knew the truth already.
Not like it would matter.
-•-
Everything was fine the way it is.
I kept my feelings to myself. I made contributions to survive every scenario.
I provided my support, all while keeping my distance.
This setup changed... when Seolwha was gone.
And everything becomes much more difficult. It becomes much crueler.
And that parasitic relationship only worsened in ways unimaginable.