"I LOVE YOU."
He stops in his tracks.
Ever so slowly, he turns around. He's staring at the ground before his eyes drag themselves up to meet mine.
In all the times I've imagined confessing my feelings to him, I never would have thought it would be like this. My skin feels hot, and each heartbeat seems to be faster than the last. I'm waiting for his next words without even realizing I'm holding my breath.
"What?"
His voice is so low that I think I may have imagined it. I didn't. His face is full of shock and confusion, and I have no idea what to make of that other emotion that seems to be hiding in his features. I rub my face and sigh quietly. I shouldn't have said anything.
"Shit," I mutter under my breath, wondering if it's too late to just walk away now.
Jeremiah moves toward me and stops once he's only a couple of feet away. "Dani," he says quietly. He knits his eyebrows together, staring down at me with determination.
I close my eyes for a second before opening them again and staring right back into his pale blue eyes.
"I love you," I repeat in a voice just above a whisper. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember. You were never just my best friend, Jere. You were so much more."
"Dani..." he trails off, looking sad all of a sudden.
"But I get it. You like Belly, and that's fine. I didn't mean it when I said I hated you. I was just frustrated with myself and being stupid. I hate myself for feeling like I have the right to love you when I hurt you two years ago."
Jeremiah stares at me, and I can see him visibly swallow. He opens his mouth as if he's about to say something.
I shake my head. "I don't expect anything from you, okay? I said what I said, and I meant it. I've got nothing to lose. You already hate me, so what more damage can I do?"
His jaw clenches. "I don't—"
"Dani?" a familiar voice calls out.
I turn around and spot Adrian waving at me with a confused expression. I send Jeremiah one last look—as he stares at me with a look I can't decipher—and then start walking toward Adrian.
✧ ✦ ✧
"YOU TOLD HIM?" Adrian practically screeches once the tournament is over and we're sitting together on a bench near the beach.
I sigh and nod, my arms crossed against my chest. I kind of regret not letting Jeremiah say anything, but if I'm being honest with myself, I don't want to know how he feels or thinks about my feelings. I don't, however, regret telling him how I feel. I feel like this huge weight has finally been lifted from my chest, and I can finally get over him.
We sit quietly together for a few minutes before I open my mouth with curiosity.
"When did you tell Maisie you loved her?" I ask, looking out at the deep blue ocean. A sense of calm washes over me as the breeze nips at my skin.
We haven't talked about his ex since the first time he brought her up. I would be lying if I said I'm not curious about their story.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Adrian with a soft smile tugging at his lips. "Well, technically, she said it first. And then I did."
I smile and bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
"When did you guys get together? And when did you meet?"
"Our parents were friends, so we knew each other since forever. We became best friends, but I didn't realize I had feelings for her until she got her first boyfriend in like seventh grade." He chuckled lightly. "They didn't last long, and she didn't date anyone after that. The summer before our junior year, we were sixteen. This girl was flirting with me, so Maisie pretended we were dating. After that, she just flat-out told me she loved me."
I raise my eyebrows. "She sounds like someone who doesn't like beating around the bush."
Adrian grins, his eyes glazed over in memory. "Yeah..." he trails off, and his smile slowly melts into a sad one. "I wonder how she's doing."
I purse my lips and look over at him, my heart aching for him. I reach my arm out to wrap it around his shoulders. He glances at me and offers a tiny smile.
"You never know what might happen," I tell him. "There's still a chance you can be together again. If you guys are meant to be, you will be. Don't lose hope."
Adrian nods at me and then sends me a meaningful look. "You should take your own advice."
I roll my eyes and shove his shoulder. We sit there for a long time just staring out into the distance as the sun sets, shades of blue and orange and pink painting the sky.
✧ ✦ ✧
SOMEHOW, DESPITE ME desperately trying to avoid the blonde blue-eyed boy living in the same house as me for the summer, we both end up outside at the pool the day after the volleyball tournament.
I haven't seen him since I walked away after telling him I loved him, and I hadn't been planning to anytime soon. However, Belly dragged me out to hang out with her and the boys. Taylor, Nicole, Shayla, and Gigi were also there hanging out. I had thought about inviting Adrian but the plans were all last minute, and I remembered him telling me he had plans with his sister.
I'm faintly aware of Jeremiah somewhere on the other side of the pool hanging out with Gigi or someone. I'm talking to Shayla, laughing about some joke she just told before Steven calls her over. She waves at me and swims over to him. I feel a poke on my spine and turn around, spotting Conrad with a smile on his face.
"Hey, stranger," he says, coming to stand beside me. "How's it going?"
I sigh, "It's going."
He smiles and pats my shoulder. "Ready for the deb ball? It's coming up pretty soon. Only a couple more weeks."
Nodding, I let a smile creep onto my face. "I'm actually pretty excited for it. Susannah seems really happy too. It makes me happy."
I look over at Conrad, but he has this strange look on his face. He looks deep in thought, his eyebrows furrowed and tension in his shoulders.
"Conrad?" I call out worriedly.
He turns back to look at me as if remembering where he is and who he's with. He sends me a smile, but I can tell it's forced.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
He nods a little too quickly. "Yeah, yeah." He rubs my shoulder seemingly to comfort more him than me. "I'm fine. Where's Adrian?"
I'm not stupid enough not to notice the subject change. I scrunch my brows together but don't push the topic.
We talk for a while before Nicole calls him over and I decide it's time to get out. I'm still thinking about Conrad's weird behavior as I pull myself out of the pool and walk over to one of the chairs to grab my baby blue towel.
I see Jeremiah on the other side staring at me closely. He furrows his eyebrows before a look of anger flashes across his face.
I look away because I don't want to think about what's wrong with him, especially if it has to do with me. I can't remember doing anything that would make him mad. Turning back to my towel, I dry myself off from my arms and legs.
Faintly, I hear someone get out of the water and hear droplets splashing down onto the pavement. I only turn when a figure is standing right beside me. Jeremiah stares down at me, his eyes full of emotion that I can't read.
His hand shoots out to grab mine and he drags me away toward the door that leads inside the house, my towel dropped and quickly forgotten. I can feel everyone's eyes on us, but I can't find it in me to care. I don't know what's wrong with Jeremiah and why he's dragging me inside.
Once we're alone in the kitchen, he turns to look at me. Except he isn't looking into my eyes. He's looking at my torso, just above the hem of my bikini bottom.
"Was it him?" he asks, anger clear in his tone as he pulls me out of my thoughts.
I'm confused for a second about what he's talking about. "What?"
My eyes suddenly widen in realization.
I completely forgot about the scar. I should have covered it with my towel the second I got out of the pool.
He continues to stare at my waist. His hand comes up, and his thumb traces my skin ever so softly, gently.
On instinct, I flinch.
He notices, and his hand drops back to his side. His anger seems to dissipate as a sad look crosses his face.
Feeling the need to explain what happened, I start, "It was about a month after the summer we fell out. Dean got angry at me and pushed me. My hip hit a sharp edge."
Carefully scanning Jeremiah's face, I notice something that makes my heart stop. There are tears in his eyes.
He stares at me sadly before shaking his head. A single drop falls down his cheek, my chest clenching in the process.
He walks away without saying anything else.
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !
first update of 2023!!
how was everyone's new years?
also i'm not sure if any of you follow american football but the game tonight was so scary. if you don't know what happened, one of the players on the bills - damar hamlin - collapsed and was unconscious on the field and needed cpr and had to be taken away by the ambulance. he's in critical condition now :((
praying he's going to be alright