Jin's eyes filled up with tears again, and when Taehyung moved his fingers forward to brush them away, he distanced himself from him.
As he attempted to get himself together, he wiped away his tears, took a deep breath, and focused on pulling himself together. He knew he had no reason to cry, as none of it was important.
"I am fully aware that I am not enough for you, and I have never once attempted to persuade myself otherwise. It is only because of the circumstances with Jimin and your parents that you are here with me. Even if I were to try to persuade myself differently, I have seen enough to be aware of the truth of the situation. I simply wish, for the benefit of our kids, that these things weren't being discussed in the media."
Jin had his eyes cast downward as he spoke; he had a lot going through his head, but none of it was important enough to share. Also, in his mind, he did not have any other options. In addition to the fact that he was expecting, he already had two other small children who needed his care. It was important for him to concentrate on them above all else.
"I don't want you to suggest that you are enough for me in any way. Even though I would have chosen someone else for myself, I can't say I would have picked you. I have readjusted and can accept you.
It was difficult for me at the beginning of this marriage when we were first together. My normal routine was quickly thrown off by the news that we were getting married. I had to overcome several difficult obstacles, Seokjin. After that, I had to consider Jimin in addition to you. Then it became you, Jimin, and Jungkook. Even though I expressed my opinion that I did not wish to have another child-
"Taehyung, how can you say that with Jungkook? You said you wanted Jimin to have a sibling. I didn't intentionally try to get pregnant, so please don't say things like that." Jin was shocked.
"Yes, I did say that, and I also value Jungkook. He is my son. However, I was not prepared for how rapidly everything happened. You offer me no attention. You are very self-absorbed and care solely about yourself and the children. I required a release, but I couldn't get it from you. I don't believe you realize that many people are eager to offer me what you aren't, and if they are doing it, I couldn't deny myself of it." Taehyung stopped as he observed Jin's reaction to his words, but Jin did not give a response or react.
It annoyed him, so he continued, "given how much I care about you and want to work with you to develop a strong marriage, I have decided to put a stop to many things. When I told you I would devote myself to our marriage, I said it with all seriousness, and I have been doing that since then. Nothing came of the meeting with me and that guy in Busan. I would have been very forthright about it if I had slept with him there. There is no reason for me to lie to you.
I can give you my word that something like what happened in the media won't happen again. Right now, I am present with you. I am completely devoted to the success of our marriage. None of those people or any of those other things matter to me. I am aware that even though you aren't my ideal partner and wouldn't have been the man I would have chosen for myself, I do love and care for you, and I am sure that you love me as well but haven't stated it because you are unsure of whether or not I will say the same thing to you. "
Jin couldn't process any of what Taehyung had said as his mind was still on what had been said about Jungkook, so he had to ask, "can you please tell me, with my current pregnancy, how do you feel about it?"
"I have accepted it. I didn't realize you weren't using birth control after Jungkook, but even so, when we found out you were pregnant, I assumed we were expecting a girl, so that excited me. However, having three boys is not ideal, but it will keep you busy and expand our family, so you shouldn't feel too bad about it, as I have accepted Jungkook and have learned to accept Jimin. I will accept them, too; at least I know I am their father. I won't ever deny a child I know is rightfully mine."
It was unclear to Jin what he should say back to Taehyung. After everything that had been stated, he felt more hopeless than he ever had before.
Taehyung closed the distance between them when he said nothing and hugged him. "I know this has been hard for us, but we have something great. So, let's become better husbands to each other, okay?"
Jin did not respond as tears rolled down his cheek. He had become increasingly resentful of life.
*****
"I never in a million years would have guessed that we would be having a dinner like this. Despite this, Seokjin, your mother, was adamant about it, and to my surprise, my wife agreed with her.
I do not doubt that what took place was not done to cause us damage. Therefore I hope we can have a productive conversation and put recent events in the past.
Taehyung had indicated that nothing had transpired with his relationship with that person in Busan, and as his spouse, I expect you to remain by his side with this matter." Jae-Duk made a stubborn statement while observing everyone gathered around the dinner table.
While Jung-nan was listening to Taehyung's father's comments, it caused her to fidget in her chair, and she tried to process what she was going to say before she spoke. "I am aware that recent events may have been misconstrued, even though I may not have much influence. I believed it would be necessary for us to meet and discuss what I have noticed as a mother since my son married Taehyung."
"What have you noticed?" Jae-Duk's eyes snapped in her direction.
"Would you please speak politely?" Ye-Bin made an effort to speak to her spouse.
Jung-nan swallowed, she didn't want to upset anyone, but she wanted to share her thoughts. "I don't get to see my son often. He is my only child. I didn't think with marriage there would be a limit on when I could see him-"
"He is married. He has kids. He is no longer a child. Are you expecting to see him daily? Don't be ridiculous now." Jae-Duk commented as he looked at her in disbelief.
Ye-Bin sighed, "Jae, I don't think that's what she means-"
"No one asked you for your opinion."
"Ms. Kim, share your concerns with me. Would you like Seokjin to visit you more often?" Taehyung asked as he stared at Jung-nan.
"I would like that or visit him, but he always says he is so busy, which I get. I know with the kids, this pregnancy might be a lot for him, and I want to help out where I can. I don't want to be a bother, just helpful since I know my baby got into this situation because of me."
Taehyung nodded with understanding, and he moved his hand and placed it beneath the table to brush against Jin's thigh. Jin changed his position and pushed off his hand. Taehyung's jaw tightened because of this, and he glanced in Jin's direction, but Jin did not look his way.
He took a moment to clear his throat before turning his attention back to Jung-nan and said, "I think it's fantastic that you want to help, and to tell you the truth, we could use your help. You coming to see us is fine; I have no objections.
I am aware that you first pointed the finger of guilt at me for Seokjin's inability to come to see you after we married. On the other hand, that was because of a trust issue that had nothing to do with you."
"What do you mean by that?" Jae-Duk asked, curious about his son's words.
When Taehyung glanced at Jin, he sighed and said, "I don't believe it's anything I should reveal. The only thing is that Seokjin had more experience than I had anticipated. It wasn't until after we were married that I realized he wasn't quite as pure as he made himself out to be in public.
However, we have resolved every problem that has come up, so there is no reason for you to be concerned about anything. Throughout my struggles, he has been there for me, and I have done the same for him. Right, baby?" As Taehyung stared at Jin, he posed the question.
"Seokjin, what is Taehyung talking about?" Jung-nan asked her son, needing clarification about Taehyung's words.
Jin was at a loss for words, so he remained silent. He had not prepared for Taehyung to make a statement of that kind.
"It's nothing serious, Ms. Kim. Just some ex-boyfriend drama-"
"What? Seokjin never had a boyfriend!"
"Oh, he did, more than one. Didn't you know you had a very popular son in school? It's okay, though. I wasn't expecting to marry a saint. We have found our way through marriage. We are happy together, and that's all that matters. I am sorry you felt worried, and I hope to do better to ensure we include you in our family more. Don't feel too concerned about Seokjin; I care for him, and he does the same for me."
"Seokjin, is this true? Did you have a lot of boyfriends? How come I didn't know about them?"
Before speaking, Jin took some deep breaths because he felt a knot in his throat, and then he said, "mom, I had two boyfriends. One was not very serious because we were young, but he was nice to me, and another was serious as I liked him a lot, but things didn't work out for us. I am also sorry that I did not share it with you earlier and that you had to learn about it this way. I ask that you not be overly concerned about my well-being. I am fine. To me, the only thing that counts is that you are taking good care of yourself and enjoying life to the fullest."
"Seokjin, I think it's fine you had prior experiences before marrying my son. There is nothing to feel bad about. The entire world knows Taehyung is not pure." Ye-Bin said with a smile.
Taehyung leaned closely to Jin, "what do you mean you liked him a lot?" he asked in a whisper.
Jin ignored Taehyung's question and stared at Ye-Bin, "thank you for saying that." he said with a smile.
"Taehyung, do you want to discuss the recent events that occurred? I guess that's why Jung-nan wanted this meeting," his mother asked as she stared at him.
It took some time for Taehyung to pay attention to his mother's question when he was focusing his attention on Jin. He leaned into Jin's ear, saying in a low voice, "We are going to talk about this later."
After that, he turned his attention to Jin's mother and said, "I am sorry that the media depicted things the way they did. The other person and I are not engaging in any activity together. In the past, we had something; however, at this point, it's no longer active. My full concentration is on Seokjin, and he is aware of this fact. After talking with him about the matter, I have given him my word that I will always be dedicated to him and our future.
I cannot say that things have been going well between us since then, considering he does not sleep in our room anymore, but I believe it is because some doubt has been created, which I will work on addressing."
"Seokjin does not sleep in the same room as you?" Taehyung's father questioned as he stared at Jin judgingly.
"I am sure he has his reasons," Ye-Bin said to Jin's defense.
"What reason can he possibly have? Then with doing that, do you expect loyalty from my son?"
"Dad, it's fine. It has something more to do with his pregnancy hormones than the situation. I am sure he will start sleeping back in my room soon."
Because Jung-nan didn't enjoy the commotion, she turned to her son and said, "Seokjin, I realize the news must have been difficult for you. I'm sorry about that. It was the same for me as well. However, suppose you think that Taehyung is innocent and has chosen to stand by his side. In that case, you shouldn't sleep in separate beds from your husband since doing so might put emotional and physical distance between the two of you, which you want to avoid at all costs."
"Sometimes distance is good," Ye-Bin commented. "Especially if it makes you happier."
Everyone except Seokjin glared at her.
*****
"One, two, three, four, five-"
"We need to talk," Taehyung announced as he interrupted Jin and Jimin's moment.
Jin stared at Jimin, "you can count for Appa later. I am going to talk with your dad."
"Okay. Love you, Appa."
"Aww, I love you, baby." Jin kissed Jimin's cheek and watched as he ran off.
"Oh, so you know how to say it?" Taehyung asked as he stared at Jin.
Jin closed the book in his hand and looked at Taehyung, "did your parents leave?"
"They did. I can't believe your mother wanted a kind of dinner like that. What did she think I was doing to you? I am glad she grew to understand my side of things, though. I like her."
Jin sighed but said nothing.
"Also, which one of those boyfriends did you like?"
"I liked both of them. I don't think it would be fair to date someone I didn't like." Jin responded with honesty.
"What about me? Do you like me?"
"I think we view each other similarly," Jin responded.
"What do you mean by that?"
"An arrangement brought us together, and we are doing our best with what we have been given. I am not your type, as you have said, and in reality, I wouldn't have looked to date someone like you. Therefore, I can't put you in a similar category as the other partners I have been with. Those happened naturally. Circumstances beyond our control formed this."
Taehyung's jaw clenched, and he sat down next to Jin, "I never said you weren't my type!"
"Taehyung, I believe you did."
"No, I said you weren't my ideal partner or the person I would've chosen for myself. I didn't mean that; you aren't my type. I just meant you are above anyone I would've chosen. You are fucking pregnant and look more attractive than ever. No one I have ever been with looks the way you do. Do you not fucking get why I don't want you going anywhere without me?"
Jin shook his head, "no, I do not."
Taehyung sat next to Jin, "you are very handsome and attractive. You think I only accepted this arrangement because it's what my parents wanted or because of Jimin. I did so with you in mind as well."
"Really?" Jin was not aware of it.
Taehyung took Jin's hand into his, "yes. From the moment I saw you, I became attracted to you. It's why it's always hard for me to keep my hands off you. I love you, Seokjin, and I mean that.
I also meant it when I said I wanted us to have a better relationship. I will work to do better for you and the kids. If you want your mother to visit often, she can. If you want to go to the mall with the kids, you can do that too."
"Okay. Thank you." Jin replied as he pulled his hand away from Taehyung.
"That's all you have to say? What about your feelings for me, or what will you start doing for me? You have nothing to say?"
Jin sighed, "I don't want to say anything without thinking about it."
"You have to think about your feelings for me?"
"It's not that. I didn't know you had those thoughts about me when you met me or that I was part of why you agreed to this arrangement. I guess for me, I do find you attractive, but when it comes to saying if I love you, I don't know. While I have never been in love, what we have cannot be classified as love.
If you love someone, you shouldn't leave open condom wrappers for them to find when they're doing your laundry. It is not appropriate for you to prevent them from going to school, nor should you portray them negatively in front of either their parents or your own. That is genuinely what I think, and I know that your interest in what I think isn't significant, which is why I don't share my thoughts with you; yet, I can't tell you that I love you. It wouldn't be fair to lie or say it just because you said it.
After the recent incident, I did consider leaving-"
"I fucking swear if you ever try to, you will never see any of those kids! What the fuck do you mean you considered leaving? Leave and go where exactly?" Taehyung stood up and yelled.
Jin calmly responded, "I know. That's the only reason I reconsidered my decision. I also know I am not in a position to request a divorce, and given your words, I will give you another chance to fix things as you have said."
"Give me another chance? What the fuck? Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, a man who cheats on his pregnant husband and denies his kids."