Since this is based off of true events im putting a trigger warning, I think some of y'all are really sentimental I'm not sure but either way it's sad.. at least I think because I'm not tryna make it too intense or anything but it's just the fact it happened in real life. Rip to all of the victims 🤍 there will be a pt.2 btw, note the title. Oh also, I will be switching it up a bit. Also, this chapter has Spanish in it more than usual.
Ariana's Pov
We were in the tour bus on our way to Manchester. This is going to be one hell of a trip but we are going on my jet so we have to drive to the airport which is two hours away. I didn't say bye to y/n or anything, my mom is waiting in Manchester already in order to watch Anuel while I'm at the show.
Jai was laughing as Toulouse licked his face, "you enjoy making out with dogs that much?" I ask jokingly, "I mean not as much as I would enjoy doing it with you" he tries to flirt and I laugh. I mean I am single now.. jai is kinda cute and he is funny and sweet but.. y/n was too.
~~~
I'm in the Airbnb while josh does my hair for tonight. Emmanuel starts crying and josh let's go of my hair because he knows I'm gonna run to Anuel which is exactly what I do. "Shh baby it's okay" I say rocking him in my arms making comforting noises. He continues crying and then I notice his diaper is full.
I set him down in his changing table as I grab a new diaper and I get wipes. After I clean him up I put the new diaper on him which makes him ease his crying. Once I throw the dirty diaper out I picked him up placing him in his swing and he watched SpongeBob.
I sat back down on the stool and apologized to josh, we talked while he did the finishing touches on my hair. It's still early and as soon as my mom gets here we head to the arena.
"Miss Grande we are here" my chauffeur announces once the car stops. I nod but then remember he can't really see me since he keeps his eyes on the road.. "thank you" I say and pay him. My bodyguard opens the door allowing me to get out with the help of his hand, "miss grande scooter wants to know if y/n will be attending to the show or if he's coming" my bodyguard Mason says. "No he will not be attending" I say keeping a smile on my face even though it's fake.
Diego is with me of course, for some reason not even y/m/n trusts y/n with him. I don't even blame her, I thought I knew y/n, I guess not. I was stupid getting with one of my students.. which was illegal by the way. God, I'm so fucking stupid. I feel the tears well up in my eyes but I refuse to let them drop, I laugh instead. I go backstage going to my dressing room getting ready for the show. They would update me on how many people were already here, honestly I don't know why so many people come to my shows.
I was ready, all dressed up and my makeup was done. I sigh, I'm in a bad mental state right now and if I'm being honest I miss him, not y/n, fuck no. Malcolm, I miss him. It sucks that I can't do anything about it either it's just all fucked up. I feel a tear roll down my cheek but I wipe it away then blink the tears out of my eyes. I feel so many emotions stirring up inside of me and it's just so.. ugh.
I have a baby with him for fucks sake!! I give up breaking down sobbing into my own hands. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard Ari" josh pulls me into a hug, "want me to get court and Vic?" I nod and place my head down on the vanity feeling worn out. Honestly, I don't even feel like doing the show tonight. I don't think I'm in a good head space to sing and do a whole show that lasts like 3 or 4 hours.
"Ari, hey, you'll be okay girl just let it out" Victoria says hugging me while Courtney rubs my back soothingly. "You're strong, you're the package y/n can go fuck Camila all he wants. You will find someone better for you" Courtney says and I laugh at her tone. "Miss. Grande el show empieza en cinco minutos" my newest security guard says, he speaks both Spanish and English but he knows Spanish more.
(new character, Emmanuel Gazmey Santiago and yes I'm aware that's also the babies name)
"Okay, thank you" I say pulling myself together knowing I can't delay the show now. He nods respectfully keeping a straight face, sometimes I wonder why he's so serious. God like I feel like he's never smiled in front of me before. "Fuck" I mutter when my phone fell on the floor, I picked it up rolling my eyes when I saw that he texted me.
Y/n: Im sorry, i really am. I know, you don't need to tell me again. I fucked up but I know that you're the one I want. you're the only one I've ever wanted. my heart feels like it weighed down without you. I need you in my life. I need you to love me... because I'm in love with you.
Read: 8:56 pm
I feel like throwing my phone across the room but I can't, I set it down harshly on the table not really caring if it cracks or anything. Josh fixed up my makeup and I put eye drops in my eye. "Miss. Grande el show está empezando" Emmanuel says and I nod getting up. "Want me to go?" Victoria asks and I nod a no with a soft smile.
She nods and follows Courtney to the crowd, I head on stage and to be honest I'm nervous as fuck. Rehearsals better have paid off if not I swear to god ima do something stupid. I'm breathing so fast I just don't know what to do. Emmanuel walks with me and this is probably the first time my security has ever been gentle with fans that wanna make physical contact with me. It's respectful, I love it.
"WOOOOOOOO!!!!! ARI, I LOVE YOUUUUU" I hear a fan drag out making me giggle into the microphone, "I love you more, I love all of you. I appreciate y'all so much. I wouldn't be here without you, I just feel gratitude to each and every one of you" I say and stop talking because if I keep talking I won't be able to stop.
I sing a couple of my old songs and then I sing dangerous woman while getting hyped up by my fans. I happen to make eye contact with Emmanuel (the security, for now I'm gonna have Emmanuel the baby identity as Ema and then Emmanuel the security is gonna be Anuel or Emmanuel) I noticed diego was crying and I felt like cutting off the whole show for it but Victoria gave me the look that said 'don't do it girl' I sigh calling a break. I walk down the steps Anuel following me making a clear path through the big crowd, I finally reached Diego and I squatted down to his level.
"Bean, what's wrong?" I ask him, "I- the noise, it's scaring me" ouch, my voice is scaring him? "No not you Ari, I mean all of the screaming here and there" oh I said that out loud. "Oh baby do you want me to have mason pick you up and drive you to my moms house? you can hang out with ema too" I ask him, mason is the only one I trust to really get people home safe. He might be my bodyguard but we've been friends for years, Diego nods, "Santiago please call up mason" I tell Anuel turning myself towards him, he nodded taking out his phone calling him up. "Hola, es Anuel miss grande dijo que vengas paca pa recoger a Diego que le tiene miedo a los gritos y to' eso" he chuckles and I'm assuming it's something mason said through the phone but wow, that's what his smile looks like. Oh lord and that raspy laugh is just- oh my god, what is wrong with me?
He smiles as he hung up and then he made eye contact with me still slightly smiling. Victoria raised an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes playfully. "I'm here" mason approaches us, "I love you bean, stay safe" I say kissing him on the cheek, "I love you too Ari, same to you" he says hugging me tickling my neck making me laugh softly. They left and I made my way back to the stage I almost tripped and Anuel caught me, people snapped pictures and fuck our mouths were so close it's gonna stir up rumors.
He balances me and then walks me up to the stage. He makes sure I get up there safely and then goes to his place to stand. God, even my friends are looking at him. My fans.. you could say they're simping, fuck.
Okay okay, calm down Ariana just sing stop getting distracted. I mean.. i am single now so..... stop. Ariana, enough! I snap back into the present and just start singing 'you'll never know'.
I noticed the way Anuel would sing along to the songs, I knew he was a fan of me but this song?? It's pretty underrated. I know he sings too, he's a retired rapper, he's 24 while I'm 23 wait wait wait wait wait.. why am I comparing my age to his? I need help, seriously.
I start to sing 'into you' and I do the choreography nervously, I hit Scott by accident causing me to laugh, I finish singing 'into you' and I see a flare and then hear a big boom, everybody is screaming running everywhere and of course it was a bomb. Fucking crap.
I feel the tears stream down my cheeks as I run down the steps, security is helping those who are injured while I call the paramedics and literally every single number for help. I didn't know what to do. I started to breathe faster and faster pacing around trying to help people here and there.
I feel so lost, I feel broken inside, how could this happen? How could I let this happen? Fuck, Diego could've died. I soon hear the sirens and I'm shaking as I help a fan up, "what's your name? a-are you hurt?" I stutter out helping him up, "I'm Alejandro, ale for short. Mentally yes but physically no but I love you so much" he says hugging me, I hug him back, "I love you more, always. Did anybody come here with you?" I ask him and he nods pointing at a little kid beside him. And this, this right here is what hurts me the most.
All these innocent people are getting hurt in every way because of my concert. "Is he your little brother, son, or-" he cut me off, "my little brother, I'm not even supposed to be here. My mom told me I couldn't go a-and I didn't listen" fuck, "and I just said fuck it and bought tickets last minute" he finishes and I nod processing everything he said. Wow, these fans really really will even sneak out.
"Your moms gonna kill me" I mumble and hold nates hand after carrying his brother. "What's your name bub?" I ask the little boy in my arms, "L-Leone" he answers and I nod. "That's a cute name, you ready to go home?" I ask him and he nods, poor kid, he has no idea what just happened but I know the tears in his eyes are out of fear. His brother looks like a teenager, 16 I would say. The full arena was soon cleared out as paramedics got everyone who was injured or.. I hate to say this but pronounced dead. I gulp, I'm so sad, and mad. Words can't even explain what im feeling right now.
~~~
I'm still with Alejandro and Leone as they get checked to make sure they don't have injuries. I make conversation with Alejandro. "So where are you originally from?" I ask, "Cuba and Dominican Republic by blood. I was born in Miami and I came here to visit, I had saved up just to go to your concert and when I figured out you were performing here near the Airbnb I'm staying at and I just said fuck it" he explains and I nod. "I had to babysit my brother because my mom had some business to do and I just wasn't really thinking straight. I bought tickets last minute a-and I don't really regret it aside from the fact about what happened" he rants and I nod gulping, "call her" I say and he nods, "soon soon" he says and I raise an eyebrow but nod.
It's passed about twenty minutes and I'm with Leone trying to comfort him as he cries, he's still scared especially when the cops pulled up. I carry him with the blanket and I take him to his brother, "awe look at you, you're such a good mom by the way" Alejandro tells me and I smile, "thanks" I say and he nods, "just the truth" he holds his hands up in surrender. I laugh, he can really lighten the mood even in this dark time.
Something popped up in my mind, "Ale, did you call your mother yet?" I ask him, "n-no, Ariana you don't understand she'll kill me with her bare hands" he says, "oh trust me, I understand. You still have to call her" I say, "no entiendes que me va a matar con sus propias manos?" He says throwing his head back in a groan.
"No te va a matar, después de lo que paso. Pfft nah" Anuel jumps in the conversation, "ah eres Anuel doble a no?" Alejandro recognizes him I guess. "Si, ahora llama tu madre y dile que si te va a recoger o si te llevo pa allá" Anuel says to him and he rolls his eyes taking out his phone. He puts it on speaker for some reason, "Alejandro Mateo Lopez, donde carajo estas?" I hear a very very angry mother on the other side of the phone. "Mira cuando llegas a la casa no te quiero ver con el teléfono en la mano" I hear a deep males voice. "Papa?" He asks almost surprised.
"Vine por ti, estaba preocupado, dime dónde estás" he says to Alejandro, I'm so confused. "I-I'm in the city centre, on the corner of Trinity Way, Hunts Bank and Great Ducie Street" he answers his father and they FaceTime call him, he answers.
"What are you doing on an ambulance?" His dad asks getting his car keys, he looks at me and I nod knowing it was gonna be all over the news anyway. "There was a bombing in the arena, I-I went to Ariana's concert even though mom told me not to, Im really sorry but the good thing is me and Leone didn't get hurt" he rants to the phone out of fear. "Is Ariana there with you?" His dad asks, "y-yeah" he stutters out.
"Put her on the phone" his dad says and he passes it to me, "h-hi" I stutter out honestly nervous, "hey, thanks for taking care of these two kids they can be a handful but we love them, I just wanted to ask if he gave me the right address" he says, "yeah it is but if you want I can drive him over there myself with one of my security guards" I say and he nods, "that actually sounds good, also I'm really sorry this happened" he says and I nod, "it's not your fault, some people can really just be stupid sometimes" I say wiping a tear and I feel arms wrap around me, "Diego what are you doing here?" I say hugging him, "yeah they can be" Alejandro's dad says and I nod passing the phone back to Alejandro.
"I-I miss you and Joan came with me with-with ema" I feel the tears stream down my cheeks as my mom engulfs me in a big hug, I'm guessing it's already all over the news. "Ari I'm so glad you're safe" she says in tears, "mom, s-some died, most kids. Fuck" I sob in my own hands, "life is not easy Ariana, this stuff happens every day. Today it struck at this arena while you threw a concert. It's not your fault though, don't blame yourself" my mom says comforting me. I should've delayed the show, but either way the bomber would've attended.
Ema is in Victorias arms and I look at him, I'm so glad I didn't have him here. "I have to drive Alejandro and Leone t-to there mom and dad" I say pointing to them, yes I know it's disrespectful but in this case.. not really. "Okay, I'll take them home, be safe. I'll wait for you at the house" she says to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek and a hug, I kiss Diego's head giving him a hug and I kiss ema. "I love you guys, get home safe" I say and watch them leave.
"I'm taking y'all home" I say approaching Alejandro, "o-oh okay" he says picking up his brother, I turn to Anuel, "me necesitas verdad?" He asks and I nod he groans. I know he's tired but I also know he doesn't mind helping me, he loves it. Oh he also doesn't have much of a choice but I'm nice so.. I try not to bother him as much.
"Let's go" I say, Anuel opens the back door for the children and then he opens the passenger door for me, I roll my eyes, "thank you" I say with a fake playful smile. "You are very welcome your majesty" he says bowing as I get in the car. He plays way to much, he shuts the door softly and makes his way to the drivers seat. He has drove me places before but only twice. He noticed my leg bouncing up and down in anticipation and he held my hand rubbing his thumb delicately on it.
"Todo va a estar bien" he says and I nod as my breaths start to speed up, "cálmate bebecita" he says, "so pa donde vamos?" He asks Alejandro, he tells us the address and Anuel put it in the gps. 20 minutes away, not bad.. I guess. Anuel starts driving and after a couple of turns here and there we made it to the house.
"And we are here" Anuel speaks English, I swear his raspy voice and accent is just so fine, bro.. stop. Just stop, enough!! I snap at my own thoughts. We get down from the car and Alejandro knocks on the front door while Anuel stands beside me and I'm holding Alejandro's brother. A woman opens the door with a Man behind her, "entra, thank you. I really appreciate it" he talks to Alejandro first and then to me, "no need for thanks" I say with a half smile not really being able to find my real smile.
"Here" I pass the woman Leone, "y-you smell good" Leone stutters out to me, "thank you, so do you" I say with a little giggle. I say bye to them and then Anuel placed his hand on the small of my back opening the door to the passenger seat for me. If anything, I'm done with music. I'm not getting on another stage again. I'm going back to my hometown.
~~~
I was in my house in boca slopping, I haven't eaten in days. I've asked Anuel to stay most nights, it's been about a week. It's June 2nd. I've cried, haven't slept, I've been.. bad. I'm in therapy now, I'm trying to stay strong and people are blaming me.. the media is blaming me for the terrorist attack. Everything is my fault, it's always me, always about me. Whether it's something good or something bad they don't stop talking about me.
Pete made a joke out of it, people were hating on him so I tweeted something out. I don't like him but I hate when people hate on others.
@arianagrande
This has been v tough & conflicting on my heart. He uses comedy to help ppl feel better ab how f-ed up things in this world are. We all deal w trauma differently. I of course didn't find it funny. It was 3 days ago & his intention wasn't/ is never malicious but it was unfortunate.
I tweet it out and my phone blows up, I put it on do not disturb and I hear a knock at my door. I drink the rest of my champagne then I get up making my way to the door. I open it revealing Anuel with a soft smile, "I brought Thai food, just for you, tienes que comer algo" he says, it's not that I don't want to eat it's that I'm not hungry.
"I'm not hungry Anuel" I stick out my bottom lip plopping down on my couch as he sets the bag of food on the counter. "Princesita, tienes que comer" he says and I don't know why but him calling me nicknames makes me feel so weird but in a good way.
A/n: I hope y'all liked this chapter, love you bubs, bye <3
Rest in peace to all Manchester victims 🤍 it's truly tragic. Also, it sucks how cruel/selfish ppl can be.
Any questions, suggestions, or anything?
Comment below.
I don't proof read so sorry if there are any mistakes!!
🤍💙🤍