Yasin in the MM
Tamia Ford
Moments later
I laid upstairs in bed, crying my eyes out as I thought about everything that life was putting me through right about now. I'd almost gotten Yasin killed and now he was doing physical therapy with a bitch that was obviously trying to take my place.
All while I'd lost our child over all of this bullshit and now I had the love of my life hating me for it all.
With seemingly no chances of healing.
It'd been two and a half months now since it all happened and I still couldn't get through to him. He never said it but didn't have to say it, I knew that he was angry at me.
He never even talked to me anymore.
It'd been a full month since we argued about this Harley bitch and still, even though he was obviously trying to do less talking with her when she was around, he never looked at me the way that he looked at her.
Plus he'd told her not to wear revealing clothes to the house anymore because I didn't like it, not because he didn't. So I knew he only did it for me to shut me up about it.
Not because he actually wanted to.
Then three days ago, this bitch came here and massaged his leg, which she'd never done before. Of course, it randomly became a thing though once Sin had addressed her about her attire.
She had him groaning all throughout the house while I was in the kitchen cooking and I knew that bitch was just being smart. She didn't really have to massage his leg, even if she did, she didn't have to do the way that she was.
So since she wanted to be petty, I started being even pettier.
While she was massaging his leg, I grabbed Sin and made him kiss me before I cursed her ass out and told her to never come to this house again.
Now the hospital had to reassign someone completely new for him. Which could take about 4 weeks,l now, prolonging his physical therapy to additional time.
I mean, I knew that he hated me for this all because I hated me too.
I'd let Yessenia's ass get into my head like he always used to say and now we'd went three full days without talking this week and two and a half months in a cold and lonely house together.
I was simply up in this room all day and night crying my eyes out. All while he was downstairs smoking and watching the game for the most part because of his leg.
It'd been forever since we even talked about us being together again and it'd been even longer since the last time he fucked me or even tried to.
I knew we still weren't together but I could just see this being the end of us. It just broke my heart deeply every time I thought about it.
More so because everything was all my fault.
"Tamia, honey." I heard my mother's voice from behind the bedroom's door before I shot up quickly, seeing that it was being opened.
When it did, I watched as both her and Ms. Davis came walking into the room, looking at me with empathic eyes.
"Oh no, baby."
"What is going on?" They spoke in unison, looking at me with sad eyes as tears still sat against my cheeks.
"Tamia, why are you crying, honey?"
"What has been going on in this house-"
"-it's dark, it's cold." Ms. Davis spoke in worry as they both came over to my aid and began asking me questions.
"Talk to us, sweetie." My mom then urged and I couldn't feel myself just explode with the information.
"He hates me."
"I know he hates me." I finally spilled completely as tears poured from my eyes and they looked at me in shock.
"He doesn't forgive me for any of it and he doesn't forgive me for losing the baby." I went on, blurting out to them my complete feelings.
I was so done holding it all in and it felt so good to finally let it all out. Especially since I couldn't to Sin.
He would never listen to me anyway.
"I know he doesn't forgive me-"
-because I don't forgive me either." I acknowledged, pointing to myself.
"It's all my fault that he couldn't get his son and it's all my fault that our baby couldn't be born."
"I was being so stupid." I went on sobbing loudly now and they couldn't help but to sigh before Ms. Davis hugged me tightly.
"Sweetie."
"You can't go on thinking like this." She said to me, shaking her head no.
"I'm sure he doesn't ha-"
"He hates me." I cut her off, already knowing that that's what was on Sin's mind.
I knew he hated me for all of this. None of this would've even happened if it wasn't for me listening to Yessenia.
It was my fault.
I continued on sobbing as they shook their heads in distress. They knew there was nothing they could do in this moment and I knew that as well so they could just leave.
"Just please leave me alone and let me sulk by myself like I've been doing." I expressed to them, just wanting to be alone in this moment.
"Please." I practically begged them and they did as I said, respecting my wishes. All before walking out of the room completely.
It was silent for a long while as they did, obviously making their way downstairs. That didn't last long though because moments later, I heard loud yelling coming from the living room.
-
Moments later
"Yasin, what is going on?!"
"Because what y'all are not going to do-"
"-is sit in this house resenting each other!" Ms. Davis went on, yelling at Sin now, as I listened closely from the top of the staircase with tears in my eyes.
"Yo-"
"Mama, I don't resent my girl." I heard his deep voice respond as I crept on the steps now, listening closely to his words.
"I don't resent her at all."
"I love her, ma." He spat, warming my heart completely as I listened
"It's just-"
"I feel her pain and I know the situation fucked up but I don't know what the fuck to do."
"It's like there ain't shit I can do for her right now because a nigga is fucked up-"
"-but I caused all of this shit." He went on blaming hisself now and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, considering this whole time I thought he was blaming me.
Turns out, he was blaming himself just like I was.
"Look."
"This whole situation stemmed from me messing with some chicken heads." He went on, finally explaining everything to them.
Things that they didn't know.
"When me and Tamia broke up-"
"-when she left me." He went on clarifying.
"I had two shawties in the crib." He expressed to them and I could hear as they both gasped. All while I rolled my eyes at the thought of bitches being in this house and in my shit.
"Yeah.."
"I had them both in the crib and then I let them both go through her closet and take whatever they wanted." He went on, finally spilling the truth and I could hear as my mother mumbled things about him.
All while Ms. Davis looked at him in disgust as far as I could see from where I was standing.
"It's my fault because if I ain't let them shawties in the crib or I would've just told her from the rip-"
"-none of this would be happening right now."
"Because we was cool until that information came up." He spat, looking directly at them as I listened deeply to his words.
"We was cool until I tried to hide the situation, then paid the girls so that they wouldn't say shit to her." He spoke truthfully and I shook my head at everything he'd done.
He was honestly playing a dirty game before all of us.
"Now that I look back at that shit, I was on some bullshit."
"But I ain't think it was going to effect us like this.." He trailed off as we all seemed to be listening closely to his words.
"I just feel like less of a man, knowing that my girl gon' through major shit right now and it ain't shit I can really do for her." He expressed, making me feel so bad since I didn't know he was blaming himself this way.
"She probably up there thinking that I'm mad at her but I'm not."
"Never was and I never will be." He spoke clearly as I looked down at the floor in guilt, feeling so stupid in this moment.
We'd went months without talking all from my assumptions that he was angry and hated me.
When that was obviously not true at all.
"Yes, I was mad that we ain't get to have my son-"
"-and yes, I was mad at how all of this played out."
"But I don't blame her for that shit."
"Because it ain't her fault." He spat, instantly making all of my self doubt go away as I stood on the steps, feeling like a completely idiot.
"I ain't mad at her for that at all."
"But what I am mad about is her cooking and cleaning the crib all day and night-"
"-trying to busy herself so that she doesn't have to deal with her feelings or talk to me about the situation."
"That's what making a nigga mad, cuh." He continued on expressing and I stood there feeling completely guilty of everything that he was saying because subconsciously that what I was doing.
I had been cooking and cleaning and doing almost everything to keep my mind off of the situation. I just didn't know how to cope and I figured I didn't have him, so I used that as a way.
Simply avoiding my feelings because I didn't want to address them. Since I was afraid to hear how much he blamed me and how much he hated me for this all directly.
Turns out, he didn't at all.
"Then she snappin' on, Harley-" He started but stopped and I could see as Ms. Davis furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Harley? The physical trainer?" I heard her ask in disbelief and I watched as a smirk appeared on Sin's face.
"Yes, mama."
"The physical trainer." He clarified as both my mother and Ms. Davis stood there in disbelief now.
"You see what I'm sayin'?" He went on with a smile in his voice, obviously laughing about the situation as I playfully rolled my eyes, feeling so bad in this moment.
It was obviously never her, I was just projecting my insecurities onto her.
"Mama, she was mad as hell that the girl was in the crib. All because I'm having general conversation with her and laughing a little bit."
"It crazy though because that ain't even the fucked up part." He went on, going into detail now and I tucked my lip in embarrassment as he went on about to spill the real tea.
"Soon as the girl left, I think this was like a month back-"
"Me and her had got into it because she insisted that I was flirting with the girl."
"Mind you, mama, I was never flirting with the girl." He expressed himself as I looked down at my hands guiltily, feeling so dumb in this moment.
"I mean, I think I might've slipped up and called her ma or sum' like that-"
"-but you know, that's just how a nigga talk." He went on shrugging it off as he continued.
"I'm never trying to disrespect my girl though, so when she told me she didn't like it and she started getting jealous, I ended it."
"Now every time shawty come here, I'm quiet."
"I just do what the girl ask and get the shit done because I know how my girl feel about the situation."
"Three days ago though-" He went on as I facepalmed myself, listening to him as he went on about to tell them what I'd done.
"Harley came over here and told me that she needed to give me my first massage."
"She like, it's been some months now, so it's time for me to start really putting pressure on my leg and shit."
"So I'm like Aight, coo'." He said, shrugging it off.
"I can't lie, the shit did hurt so I was reacting to it and shit."
"But mind you, Mi in the kitchen, cooking like she been doing since she's been back here."
"Doing her own thing and in her own head now." He told them as they stood there listening intently.
"Shit seem like it's cool and everything's going smoothly."
"But before I knew it, Tamia pushed the shit out of the girl and came over to me and start kissing me."
"I'm like what the fuck?" He spoke with furrowed eyebrows and I couldn't help but to cover my face as I stood here on this step in embarrassment.
"Oh my God." Ms. Davis covered her mouth in shock as my mother did the same, listening to his story.
"So I'm like aight."
"She just in her head and she back on this again." He waved off, continuing on with the story.
"So I was gon' calm her down and finally just talk to her but before I could even do that, she was cursing me and the girl out, cuh."
"What?" My mother asked in disbelief and he nodded his head surely.
"Yes, mama."
"So it's been three days since we spoke because she won't come out the room and she won't even let me touch her." He expressed to them as I stood there feeling bad, listening to this whole thing.
I was so in my head, overthinking everything, that I hadn't even realized there was a whole other person in this house with their own thoughts and their own feelings.
It wasn't just me who was hurting.
And I obviously wasn't the blame for it all, even if I did feel that way.
"It's like, I want to give her time because I ain't tryn' stress my shawty out further."
"But at some point, I just want her to express her emotions because if she don't, that shit gon' turn into something else."
"It has turned into something else." He went on saying and I tucked my lips guiltily, all before I got tired of just sitting here and doing nothing.
As he continued, I made my way down the steps completely before I made my presence known. When I did, they all looked at me at once before I walked into the living room.
"Sweetie, are you ready to talk?" My mama asked me and I didn't even respond as I wasted no time, making my way over to Sin's lap.
As I did, he instantly reached out for my hand and helped me as I sat down on his left side. He then slowly wrapped his arm around me and I couldn't help but to feel complete for the very first time in what seemed like forever.
I wiped my own tears as I laid my head in the crook of his neck and our moms couldn't help but to look at us in awe.
"I'm sorry." I spoke softly to him, realizing all of my faults and hugging him tightly as he did the same.
"You ain't got nun' to be sorry for, ma."
"It was never yo' fault." He went on reassuring me further, obviously knowing that I'd heard everything that was said already.
"I love you, Mi."
"I just want you to talk to me."
"I just need you to talk to me." He went on and I nodded my head slowly in reassurance.
"We will."
"And I love you too." I went on saying and our moms couldn't help but to smile before deciding to give us some privacy.
"Alright."
"Well looks like this is under control."
"Call us if the two of you need anything." They both said to us as they watched us another moment before waking their way out of the house.
"Aight, ma." He told to them as they left out of the house completely and I continued on with my head in the crook of his neck.
Where I finally felt safe again.
*
Thoughts?
Concerns?