—
—
MADELYN SAT ON THE COLD METAL EXAMINING BED, waiting for a doctor to come in, she kicked her feet impatiently as she wore her unflattering hospital gown that they made her put on.
today was the day she promised her aunt and uncle.
she was getting tested for cancer.
she had her long, brown hair tied up in a bun on her head, resting her hands beside herself in a tensed position, her two different colored eyes staring down at her feet that were kicking.
the nurses weighed madelyn before they put her in a room, they declared she was underweight for what her height was—-right in front of her aunt and uncle, but thankfully, they weren't allowed to be in the room for this part.
the door of the examining room opened abruptly, causing madelyn to flinch as she turned her head to see the doctor come into the room.
"hi, i'm doctor hansley, ill be running some blood tests today, okay?" the younger man that was in his mid thirties came into the examining room, noticing the fear that was wiped on madelyn's face.
"don't nurses do this?" she questioned in confusion, "yeah, usually, but your aunt and uncle requested for me to administer all the tests, is that okay?" he asked her in reassurance,
"yeah" she quietly said as he began filling out some paperwork on a clipboard and going to his desk for a moment, looking like he was reading something on a sheet of paper.
"so your mom passed away from cancer?" the middle aged man questioned as he looked over to madelyn, making her tense at the question before responding, "yeah, it was like seven to eight years ago" she quietly responded.
"yeah she had leukemia when she was pregnant with you and didn't know..." he began saying, which only made madelyn's heart beat faster, "...but it's not common for cancer to be transferred through a pregnancy, but it is good to make sure" he reassured her.
madelyn felt a sigh of relief escape her lips.
it's not common.
but that doesn't mean it's impossible.
"cancer is also genetic in some cases, so with some tests we will be able to find out if you carry that gene and go from there" he reassured her once again, a shaky breath escaped madelyn's lips.
the doctor walked over to madelyn, wrapping the velcro strap around her arm and pumping the small ball, taking her blood pressure as it squeezed her long arm—-writing something down on his notepad afterward.
"are you scared of needles?" the doctor asked as he tapped the teenage girls arm, making her simply shrug for a moment before nodding hesitantly, she didn't like needles and she didn't like blood.
she didn't like anything involving gore in general.
but then, she felt a small prick in her arm, making her flinch as she looked down, seeing he stuck a needle in her vein,
"all done, hurts less if you don't see it coming" he said, which made the small girl sigh because it had already been done and over with, he quickly drew the syringe back in her arm as the vile filled with her dark red blood.
doctor hansley put the lid on the vile before putting it in a bin, madelyn stared at him carefully for a moment as she kicked her feet on the examining table out of nervousness.
"alright, these will be taken to the lab for testing and i will be back with you shortly" he said with a small, comforting smile on his face—-but nothing about the situation comforted madelyn at all.
and what made her feel even worse was that she was keeping this a secret, from everyone.
from miles.
but that wasn't the worst secret she was keeping from him...
—
madelyn sat on the examining table like a nervous mess, it had been a half hour since doctor hansley left the room and she was growing more and more impatient as the clock ticked and the seconds passed.
"madelyn honey, just try to relax" her aunt who was now sitting in a chair across from the examining table attempted to reassure her, her uncle sat in a seat next to her. madelyn to snapped her head up,
"i can't relax! this is freaking me out!" she raised her voice out of panic, her aunt stood up from the chair, walking over sitting next to her on the examining bed as she rubbed her back comfortingly.
it didn't mean anything compared to the way she felt when miles did it, no one comforted her the way miles did.
madelyn breathed heavily out of panic, but before she could say anything, the door bursted open, revealing doctor hansley as he came back into the room with a notepad, causing the teenage girl to look at him nervously.
and the expression on his face wasn't helping her anxiety at all.
her aunt stood up off the examining table and sat back in her chair beside madelyn's uncle.
"the test results came back" he began, grabbing his desk chair and wheeling it over to sit closer to madelyn and her family, she felt her heart thump inside of her chest rapidly as she read the expression on his face, expecting the worst.
"you tested negative for leukemia" he said, causing a heavy breath to escape madelyn's lips, a weight feeling like it was lifted off of madelyn's shoulders at his revealing news.
the expression on his face before, was very misleading.
"however, you tested positive for the tumor suppressor gene, which is a form of a cancer gene" he said, causing madelyn's blood to run cold at the words that escaped his lips in that moment, but he reached his hand out, waving it around for a moment.
"that doesn't mean you currently have cancer, that means in some point in your life, you most likely will get it" he explained to her, causing madelyn's head to fall.
so if she didn't have it now, she most likely would get it, which is practically a death sentence.
she saw exactly what it did to her mother, how her mother withered away to a ghost of a person she once was—-it was the scariest thing she had ever seen happen, and madelyn wanted to be the furthest thing away from something like cancer.
but now she was closer than ever to it, the gene was inside her body.
"i understand this is a lot to process and a difficult time, however..." the doctor began, leaning closer on his desk chair, "...i want a full body CT, just to check for any possible masses that could be on the inside of your body" he concluded as he shut the binder.
"masses?" madelyn softly asked as she raised a brow, "tumors you could say, they could be non cancerous forms of mass that could turn cancerous, or you could be completely clear, i just want to make sure" he reassured her.
madelyn didn't know what to feel, her mind was blank.
"i called for an emergency CT, we can get you down as soon as possible, the sooner we find out what's going on inside of here" the doctor said as he pointed to her body, making madelyn sigh for a moment.
please don't have cancer please don't have cancer.
i just want to live.
—
madelyn laid on the bedding of the giant CT machine, staring up at the black camera above her body, she was all alone in the room, completely by herself.
"okay madelyn, raise your arms up" she heard doctor hansleys voice over the speaker, she did as she was told, raising her arms above her head as she felt her heart race inside of her chest.
she remembered this, clearly.
she remembered her mother doing this, and now here she was...
"i'm going to inject the ink into your body now, this gives me visualization to see what's going on inside, okay?" he said over the speaker, causing madelyn to nod, "the ink might feel weird, if your body feels hot that's normal" he explained to her,
madelyn waited for a moment or two, not feeling a thing.
she felt a weird tingling, hot sensation pour through her body, almost like she was peeing her pants, she could feel heat from her head to her feet, even a bit of dizziness.
"you okay?" he asked over the speaker once again, "yeah i'm fine" madelyn said through a tight voice of discomfort, knowing the side effects she was experiencing were normal.
"good honey, now hold your breath and exhale when i tell you to do so" madelyn did just that, sucking a breath in for a moment as she felt the machine move around, "exhale" she felt the heavy breath escape her lips.
the machine stopped moving for a moment before pushing her out, she sat up on the table quickly before turning around and seeing doctor hansley behind the glass looking at a computer screen.
he came out of the room quickly with two sheets in his hand, sitting down in front of the teenage girl.
"madelyn have you had trouble walking lately? standing for too long perhaps?" he asked her as he sat down, making her brows furrow before she shook her head no hesitantly,
"no..." she trailed off, unsure of why he was asking.
doctor hansley flipped the scans around to show her imaging of her spine, she stared at it in confusion before he pointed to a small white dot on the mid lower section of her spine,
"that, is a spinal tumor, its pressing against your T6" he said gently, causing madelyn's eyes to widen greatly she felt her heart drop inside of her chest and into her stomach, like she just swallowed and digested her heart.
"thankfully for you, it's not too far metastasized" he explained, "w-what i do?" she breathlessly asked out of fear, wanting this stupid tumor away and out of her body as fast as possible.
"there's two options we can do..." he pushed his chair closer to her, "we can go with chemo therapy and chemo therapy only, however if we do that, the chance of it coming back is much higher, it may not fully eradicate the tumor" he explained,
"what's the other option?" she asked before biting onto her bottom lip as she felt anxiety surge through her body,
"the other option is surgery, where we remove the tumor, followed by chemo therapy" he said, "but this is a risky surgery, we won't fully know what everything is like until we open you up, the spine is incredibly sensitive and if we nick a nerve, that can paralyze you from the waist down" he explained further,
madelyn's eyes widened greatly, "paralyze me from the waist down?" she repeated shakily, causing his face to fall, "i understand this must be incredibly difficult for you" he said with sorrow in his voice,
"but, you're only fifteen, you're very young and very healthy, so the chances of nerve damage is much more slim, however since you're only fifteen if there is nerve damage you're risking paralysis" he said to her, she continued to stare at him with wide eyes.
"if you get the surgery and do the chemotherapy, the chances of you getting rid of this cancer is much much higher" he explained while raising a brow, as if he was insisting for her to go with that option,
"what if i don't?" she asked as she kicked her legs nervously, "pardon?" the doctor asked, making madelyn chew on her bottom lip for a moment before elaborating on what she was previously saying,
"what if i don't get the surgery or the chemo? what happens then?" she asked, her voice even more shaky from earlier. but doctor hansley simply shook his head before replying, "i don't reccomend that, eventually the tumor will spread and you'll be paralyzed from the waist down, then it'll spread to your other organs and..." he trailed off, making madelyn raise a brow in anticipation,
"...and eventually all your organs will shut down one by one, killing you" he said heavily, madelyn sucked in a shaky breath as she felt tears forming in her eyes, she glanced down at her lap for a moment,
"how long?" she asked, making doctor hansley sigh,
"maybe a year if you're lucky" he said,
silence, deafening silence, screaming silence, silence that was so loud it ruptured her own ear drums,
"but look, this isn't a death sentence, you have time now to treat this, and i mean as soon as possible... before it's too late, once the damage is done it's done, and it's irreversible" he said while shaking his head greatly.
madelyn swallowed thickly,
"we can talk to your aunt and uncle about treatment plans and i can also recommend you guys into therapy or support groups, this is an incredibly difficult thing that you do not want to go through with alone" he said to her,
madelyn wiped a tear that escaped her eye with her hand as she sniffled for a moment.
incredibly difficult is an understatement.
madelyn didn't know what she wanted to do, but she had to figure it out and she had to figure it out fast before it was far too late.
she had to make a choice.
a life or death choice.
—
AUTHORS NOTE:
yeah yeah ik i'm like satan sorry about that. i can never give my characters peace!!! sorry this is a shorter chapter and this happens to be the chapter i come back from my hiatus with😭😭 yall can never catch a break. BUT WOOOOO things are changing in this story quickly, i've been working on other books if yall want to check those out!! hope this chapter didn't traumatize u too much LOLL.
i hope this sensory video helps with any pain i have caused 😔😔😔
WORD COUNT: 2357 <3