Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
#OLAPlayPretend
Chapter 27
Lucky
"Bakit ngayon ka lang? I've been waiting for you..." marahang tanong ni Macy, nakayakap pa rin kay Xaiver.
I felt so awkward and out of place. I felt the urge to walk away and gave them privacy, pero bakit ko gagawin 'yon? At sa kung ano mang dahilan, ayaw kong iwan si Xaiver mag-isa kasama si Macy. Tingin ko ay hindi ako magiging kumportable.
"Why didn't you tell me ngayon ang dating mo? I thought you'd come home next week?" pabalik na tanong ni Xaiver. His voice was soft and tender. Para siyang nanay na kinakausap ang anak habang pinapatulog.
Bumitiw si Macy at bahagyang inilayo ang sarili kay Xaiver. She smiled sweetly and replied, "Your wedding's in three days. How can I miss it, right?"
Napaawang ang mga labi ko nang banggitin niya ang tungkol sa kasal, lalo na nang nagtama ang aming mga mata. She tilted her head on one side. She looked slightly curious na para bang kinikilala niya ako.
"Are you..." Macy trailed off and turned to Xaiver.
Mabilis na lumapit sa akin si Xaiver. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakita ang kanyang suot na ngiti.
I couldn't help noticing how he let his guard down so fast in front of Macy. Ganoon na siguro talaga siya kakumportable sa kanya. He didn't have to hide anything.
"Macy, this is my fiancée, Chantal," pakilala ni Xaiver sa akin.
"Ikaw nga..." malamyang sabi ni Macy ngunit nakangiti pa rin. "I saw your pictures on Facebook. You look really pretty in person."
I was slightly stunned by that revelation. She saw me on Facebook?
Nang makita ang aking reaksyon ay mahina siyang tumawa at tinakpan sandali ang bibig. "Sorry... I hope you don't mind me stalking you on social media when I was in the States. Gusto ko kasing makita ang mapapangasawa ni Xavi nang malaman kong ikakasal na siya."
"Ayos lang..." tipid kong sabi at ngumiti.
It was harmless. Wala naman siyang dapat ipaghingi ng pasensya.
I didn't want to have prejudice against her, but there was no way for me to confirm if she was being genuine or sincere. Baka mamaya, pagkatalikod ni Xaiver, iba na ang ugaling ipakita niya sa akin. Maybe she's not really as nice as it seemed. Nadala na ako.
"Anyway, have you eaten dinner yet?" tanong ni Xaiver sa kanya.
"Hmm, not yet. I was hoping na sabay tayo, pero mukhang kumain na kayo ni Chantal?"
"No. Hindi pa ako kumakain. Ipagluluto ako ni Chantal. You should stay and eat dinner here," aya ni Xaiver.
"Can I?" pag-aalangan ni Macy. " I don't wanna ruin anything...."
"I just picked her up from her bachelorette party," paliwanag ni Xaiver saka ako nilingon. "Is it okay if she stays here for dinner?"
Nagulat ako nang ipinasa niya sa akin ang desisyon. I didn't know what to say at first, pero alanganamang hindi ako pumayag. Xaiver already invited her and this is his house. Nakakahiya rin kung ayaw ko. Walang dahilan para gawin ko 'yon.
Naisip ko rin na baka magandang pagkakataon na rin 'yon para makilala ko siya. I didn't want to stick to my prejudice about her. If she's a close friend of Xaiver, mas magandang makilala ko siya upang hindi ko mapag-isipan ng masama.
"Walang problema. I can cook for us," sabi ko na lang.
"Thanks, baby," Xaiver whispered and smiled.
The endearment slightly caught me off guard. He said it so naturally. His smile was in its purest form. For a moment, I felt like staring at a different person.
If he is still pretending, it's his best performance ever.
"I'll just change clothes. Ikaw na muna ang bahala kay Macy. You can head to the kitchen and cook anything you like, okay?" he told me.
"Okay..." sabi ko na lang.
Xaiver smiled again and ruffled my hair. Tinanguan niya rin si Macy bago tuluyang dumiretso sa ikalawang palapag upang makapagpalit.
It was very awkward. Hindi ko alam kung paano pakikisamahan si Macy. I'm not really good with entertaining strangers, pero ayaw ko ring isipin niya na masama ang ugali ko.
"Uhm—"
"I can help you with the cooking if that's okay with you," Macy volunteered before I could start a conversation with her. "I'm not a great cook, but I can help."
"Uh... Sure. Salamat," sabi ko.
"No problem."
Hindi ko na alam ang isasagot ko kaya inaya ko na siya sa kusina. Nauna akong maglakad at siya naman ay nakasunod sa akin. I couldn't help feeling conscious with the way I move. Pakiramdam ko ay pinapanood niya ako nang mabuti, baka naghahanap ng mali sa akin. Or maybe I was just really overthinking.
Upang hindi siya makahalata, I went straight to the refrigerator to check his stocks. Mabuti na lang at hindi iyon ang unang beses ko sa kanyang bahay. Kahit papaano, alam ko kung nasaan ang mga bagay-bagay. It wouldn't seem like we were only pretending.
"So... Do you often cook for Xavi?" Macy asked while I gathered the ingredients I needed.
"Hmm hindi masyado. Kapag may time lang," maingat kong sagot at saka inilagay ang mga kailangan sa island. "Madalas kasi sa opisina na siya kumakain kahit ng dinner. He's very workaholic kaya inaabot siya ng gabi."
Tumango-tango siya, nakangiti pa rin. Naupo siya sa stool sa island, mukhang kumportable habang pinapanood ako. "I heard from Tita Mira that you were his secretary before?"
"Oo. He offered me a job noong graduating pa lang ako. I took the opportunity dahil mahirap maghanap ng trabaho," sabi ko.
Ang mga gulay ay hinugasan ko sa sink. Simple lang ang lulutuin ko. Dahil may baboy at hipon sa ref, pinakbet ang napili ko. Hindi ko alam kung magugustuhan ni Macy o kung kumakain ba siya noon, pero noong kumain kami sa isang Filipino restaurant dati ay kinain niya.
Balanse rin ang ulam dahil may karne na at madami pang gulay. Mabuti na lang at kumpleto sa mga gulay si Xaiver kahit na hindi naman siya gaanong nagluluto. Siguro ay hindi talaga nawawalan ng stock ng groceries ang mga mayayaman gaya niya.
"And this year lang naging kayo?" subod niyang tanong. Halatang kuryoso siya tungkol sa takbo ng relasyon namin ni Xaiver.
I thought she would help me cook, but she wouldn't stop asking questions. Kinakabahan tuloy ako dahil hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. Okay lang ba na sabihin kong tama siya at ikakasal na kami agad? Hindi ba parang masyadong mabilis at kaduda-duda kung ganoon?
"I'm sorry if I have so many questions." Hilaw siyang tumawa. "I'm just really curious... Ilang taon din akong nawala. I want to know more about him. I'm sure you know how less of a talker he is. He doesn't really like answering questions and sharing stuff about him."
"Uhm ayos lang... naiintindihan ko," sabi ko.
Deep inside, I was praying hard for Xaiver to come down already. Ayaw kong magkamali sa mga sasabihin ko. Hindi puwedeng mabuking kami. Not to her.
"Thank you." Macy gently smiled. "So... kailan naging kayo?"
Pasimple akong nagsimulang maghiwa ng mga sangkap na gulay. "Uhm, kailan lang din..." I guess there's no harm in telling the truth. Mahirap nang magsinungaling.
"Kailan lang din? You mean... hindi pa nagtatagal ang relasyon ninyo?" paninigurado ni Macy. Mukhang hindi 'yon ang expected niyang sagot.
"Last month lang naging kami."
"What?!" Macy was in total disbelief. "And you two decided to get married already?"
"I don't think there's anything wrong with that, Macy."
Natigil ako sa paghihiwa nang madinig si Xaiver. Nilingon ko siya na kakapasok lamang sa kusina. He changed into a plain white shirt and gray cotton pants. Nakababa na rin ang kanyang buhok na lagi kong nakikitang nakaayos.
It was a rare sight to see him out of his CEO persona. He looked more approachable. Parang hindi siya 'yong masungit at seryosong businessman na kilala ko. Nagtagal ang titig ko sa kanya dahil doon.
"Xaiver..." Macy turned to Xaiver, too.
"I started courting her months ago. Natakot siya sa akin at lumayo. And last month, she finally gave in. Bakit pa namin sasayangin ang oras kung sigurado naman na kami sa isa't isa?" Xaiver explained our side. "I can see my future with Chantal, and everything feels right with her."
Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi. Every word he said was flawless. Parang totoo talaga ang lahat.
"I just think that it's too fast... but I guess you're right." Ngumiti ulit si Macy sa kanya. "Wala siguro talaga 'yon sa oras."
Xaiver nodded, relieved that she understood right away. "Anyway, why don't we chat first and catch up?"
Macy's face brightened up in an instant. "Okay!"
"Una ka na sa living room. I'll get us snacks."
"Okay. I'll wait na lang sa sala," sabi niya saka ako nilingon. "I guess I won't be able to help with the cooking, Chantal... Okay lang ba?"
"Uh, oo naman. Walang problema. Alam kong madami kayong dapat pag-usapan. Kaya ko naman mag-isa," sabi ko na lang.
"Thanks. Looking forward to dinner!" she said before leaving the kitchen.
Nanatili si Xaiver. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa bago ako naunang umiwas ng tingin para magpatuloy sa paghihiwa ng mga rekados. I tried to focus, but I couldn't help giving him side glances as I felt him moving closer to me.
Hindi rin nagtagal ay nasa likuran ko na siya. Itinukod niya ang dalawang kamay sa ibabaw ng island at ikinulong ako sa gitna ng mga braso. I felt him lowering his head and the soft graze of his lips on my ear.
Natigil ulit ako sa paghihiwa saka napalunok. Is it necessary na ganito kaming kalapit sa isa't isa?
"May iba ka pa bang sinabi sa kanya bukod sa last month lang naging tayo?" tanong niya sa isang napakahinang boses. Kahit siguro nakatayo pa rin si Macy sa harapan namin ay hindi niya 'yon madidinig.
"Ayon lang. Saka kung kailan tayo nagkakilala," sabi ko.
"Oh, and what did you tell her about that?"
"Nagkakilala tayo nung nag-aaral pa ako. Bumisita ka sa school namin."
"Hmm..." Medyo inangat niya ang kanyang ulo upang tumango-tango. "Puwede na rin..."
Kumunot ang noo ko. Bakit parang mali ang sinabi ko? I was just telling the truth!
"Ako na ang bahala kay Macy. I'll answer all her questions. Don't worry," he said and finally backed away.
Tumango ako't ngumiti. "Okay."
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung wala ba talaga ako dapat ipag-alala. There was this feeling of restless anxiety inside me. Parang anytime ay puwedeng may maling mangyari.
I shrugged off those negative ideas and focused on doing what I had to do. Magandang matapos na ako agad para makakain na sila at makauwi na ako. Mabuti na lang at medyo madali ring lutuin ang pinakbet. Sa pagpapakulo lang ako ng karne nagtagal dahil gusto kong siguraduhing malambot 'yon.
Knowing Macy wasn't good at cooking, I wanted to show her what I could do. It sounded petty, I know, pero doon lang ata ako nakaangat sa kanya kaya ayos na 'yon. It somehow boosted my confidence. It might be the wrong way and a crooked mindset, but it worked for me.
Pagkatapos kong magluto at ayusin ang mga plato at kubyertos sa hapag, bumalik ako sa sala. Naabutan kong nagtatawanan sina Macy at Xaiver. Mayroong pinapakita si Macy sa cellphone niya, and she was leaning closer to him.
Xaiver paid attention to everything. He looked so carefree while he was with her. I recalled his indifference when his mother mentioned her last time, and there was no trace of that at all.
Is he just acting? Is he pretending? Kailan siya nagpapanggap at kailan siya totoo?
I was starting to lose the lead on trying to learn the real him and decipher his mysteries. I felt like he'd forever be a code that I would never be able to solve. And the harder it was for me to understand him, the more I held myself back from trusting him fully.
Masyado ata akong nagtagal sa panonood sa kanila na napansin na ni Xaiver ang presensya ko bago pa ako makapagsalita. He immediately pushed himself away from Macy and walked to me.
I pursed my lips. Para siyang nahuling may maling ginagawa sa kung paano siya mabilis na lumayo kay Macy at lumapit sa akin.
"Is dinner ready?" Xaiver asked.
Nakanguso pa rin ako nang tumango.
"Let's go." Hinawakan niya ang aking siko at nanatili roon ang kamay. "I'm excited to taste your cooking."
Muli lamang akong tumango. Tipid siyang ngumiti at saka nilingon si Macy na nakaupo pa rin at naghihintay sa sofa.
"Dinner's ready. Let's eat," aya niya rito.
"Oh... Okay!" Ngumiti si Macy at tumayo na rin para sumabay sa amin papuntang dining room.
Kahit na kumain na ako ng hapunan, ipinaghanda ko rin ang sarili ng pinggan at kubyertos. I made sure to place mine beside Xaiver habang sa tapat naman namin si Macy. Buti na lang at agad ding nakuha ni Xaiver ang gusto kong puwesto. He pulled the chair for me and let me sit there, then immediately occupied the one beside me.
Bumagal ang pag-upo ni Macy sa harap habang pinapanood kaming dalawa. It was as if she was closely observing us.
"Uh, pakbet pala ang niluto ko. Kumakain ka ba nito, Macy?" I asked her.
"Yes, of course," sagot niya. "I eat any Filipino dish."
"Mabuti naman. Nakalimutan kasi kitang tanungin kanina. Pasensya na."
"No problem. I don't have any allergies, and I'm not a picky eater."
Muli akong tumango. Pagkatapos ay nilingon ko si Xaiver na nagsisimula nang sumandok ng ulam. He got a small bowl where he put just enough portions for me.
"Is this fine? Hindi ka na magkakanin, 'di ba?" paninigurado ni Xaiver sa akin.
"Oo. Ulam lang," sabi ko.
He nodded, then proceeded to fill his plate. Medyo madami-dami siyang kinuha na kanin kumpara sa nakasanayan kong nakikitang kinukuha niya. Madami rin siyang isinalin na ulam sa mangkok niya bago inabot kay Macy ang serving spoon.
Hindi na niya hinintay na matapos si Macy sumandok. Agad niyang tinikman ang ulam. He went straight for the pork belly and shrimp. A smile curved on his lips while chewing his food.
Kabado ako habang pinapanood siya. I wasn't sure what that smile was for. Baka mamaya ay mang-iinis lang pala siya dahil hindi tama sa panlasa niya ang timpla. Baka napaalat o medyo matabang sa gusto niya?
I hoped I wasn't just being complacent when I tasted it. Pero masarap naman noong tinikman ko. Tama lang din ang timpla para sa akin. Not too bland, not too salty. Malambot din ang karne.
Before Xaiver could say anything, sumubo siya ng kanin at sinamahan na rin ng sabaw at gulay. I watched him, slightly expecting that he liked it. I couldn't remember when I last cooked for him. Parang sobrang tagal na at hindi ko matandaan. Did I even have the chance to cook for him before, or is this the first time? Hindi ko na rin alam.
My thoughts stopped when Xaiver suddenly turned to me after swallowing the food in his mouth. He smiled and said, "Ang sarap...."
I couldn't help smiling back after hearing those words of affirmation. Saglit na napaawang nga lang ang mga labi ko nang bigla niya akong pinatakan ng halik sa gilid ng noo.
"Thanks for cooking for me," Xaiver added, then resumed eating his food with gusto.
Unti-unting bumalik ang aking ngiti. I watched him eat for another few seconds bago ko sinimulang kainin ang luto ko. For some reason, mas sumarap ang pinakbet matapos purihin iyon ni Xaiver.
I guess I should try cooking for him more. Puwede ko siyang dalhan na lang sa opisina. Magbabaon ako kaysa araw-araw siyang umo-order sa canteen. Tutal ay sa DVH naman na ako ulit magtatrabaho. Okay na rin ang sabay kaming kumain. Mas makakatipid.
"Uh... Is it your first time tasting Chantal's cooking?"
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mag-angat ng tingin kay Macy. I almost forgot she was with us. Ang kanyang mga mata ay nakadirekta kay Xaiver dahil para sa kanya ang tanong na 'yon.
"No," sagot agad ni Xaiver at uminom ng tubig.
"You act as if it was... Akala ko tuloy first time mo," natatawang paliwanag ni Macy.
Umiling si Xaiver. May suot pa rin siyang maliit na ngiti. "I just really want to show my appreciation to Chantal every time I can, especially now that I'm busier with work at konting oras lang ang meron kami para magkita. I don't want her to feel neglected."
I swallowed hard and gripped the skirt of my dress tight.
"Oh, right... Sorry for that stupid question," paghingi ng pasensya ni Macy.
"It's okay. Nothing deep," sabi ni Xaiver at sumulyap sa pagkain ni Macy na hindi pa nagagalaw. "You should try eating her food now. You'll realize why I acted that way. I am lucky to have her as my wife."
Natapos ang gabi na hindi kami nabubuko ni Xaiver. Sabay naming hinatid si Macy palabas ng bahay. I didn't know why we failed to notice her car parked outside the mansion when we arrived, pero nasa gilid lang 'yon.
"Uhm, so... we'll see each other tomorrow?" Bago tuluyang pumasok sa kanyang sasakyan, nilingon niya ulit si Xaiver. "Are you going to pick me up or..."
Tomorrow? Bakit magkikita ulit sila bukas?
"Yes. Susunduin na lang kita," sagot ni Xaiver.
Ano'ng meron? May plano sila? Saan sila pupunta?
"Okay.... Uhm..." Napatingin sa akin si Macy. "Is Chantal gonna come with us?"
Sa tanong na 'yon ay nilingon ako ni Xaiver. My lips parted a bit, waiting for him to explain their plans for tomorrow. Ngunit kaysa magpaliwanag, inakbayan niya lamang ako saka hinarap ulit si Macy.
"No," he replied. "Bukas na ang alis niya papuntang Amanpulo. Mauuna sila roon for our wedding."
Oo nga pala... Hindi talaga ako makakasama. Mukhang hindi ko na rin malalaman kung saan sila pupunta, pero gabi pa naman 'yon baka puwede ako sumaglit...
"Oh!" Macy couldn't hide her relief and excitement after knowing I wouldn't tag along. "See you tomorrow, then?"
Tumango si Xaiver at kumaway. Tuluyan nang pumasok si Macy sa sasakyan. Isang beses siyang bumusina bago umalis.
I pressed my lips tight to stop myself from asking questions. Kung hindi sinabi sa akin ni Xaiver kung saan sila pupunta, baka hindi ko na dapat 'yon malaman. However, I was starting to get anxious and paranoid.
Saan ba kasi sila pupunta?!
"What's that look on your face?" Xaiver asked, wearing a smug smile. "Are you sure hindi ka pa rin nagseselos niyan?"
I inhaled a sharp gasp. Bahagya ko siyang itinulak palayo. Ngayong wala na si Macy, hindi na namin kailangang magpanggap!
"Hindi, no!" sabi ko. "Malay ko ba kung saan kayo pupunta. Ayaw ko lang mapahiya sa mga tao. Three days na lang bago ang kasal natin. Baka kung ano sabihin nila kapag may kasama kang iba."
Xaiver nodded. "Hmm... You're right..." pagsang-ayon niya. "Isasama ko na lang si Joseph para hindi maging isyu. Ayos na ba 'yon sa 'yo?"
"Ewan ko. Gawin mo ang gusto mo," sabi ko na lang at tinalikuran siya pabalik sa loob.
"We're going to visit my brother's grave. You don't have to worry. Wala naman sigurong mag-iisip na makikipag-date ako sa iba sa sementeryo?" habol na paliwanag ni Xaiver.
Visit his brother's grave... Doon lang pala sila pupunta. Siguro ay okay lang 'yon dahil ex nga ng Kuya niya si Macy.
"Are you gonna sleep here?" Xaiver asked out of the blue.
I halted and spun around to turn to him. Nakatayo siya sa gilid ng kanyang madalas gamitin na sasakyan. He wore a teasing grin while raising his brow.
Doon ko napansin na papasok na ako ulit sa kanyang bahay. He told me he would drive me home after we sent Macy off. Nawala na sa isip ko dahil sa alis nila kinabukasan.
Nagmamadali akong bumalik at lumapit sa kanya. Hindi nga lang siya tapos sa pang-iinis.
"Ayos lang naman kung dito ka matulog. We can practice for our honeymoon night..." he meaningfully said, still sporting an annoying grin.
"Uuwi ako!" mariin kong sabi saka binuksan ang pintuan sa front seat para makapasok na.
Bago ko tuluyang isarado ang pintuan, nadinig ko ang kanyang baritonong halakhak. My cheeks flushed because of embarrassment.
Nakakahiya!