A/N: This is more of a commercial Christmas celebration because I know that not everyone is religious. Also warnings for past mentions of physical and sexual abuse against reader, doesn't go too into detail but everything past that is more fluffy. Not proof read
After breakfast you parted ways with Carrie, Norman and Herbert. Carrie and Norman said they were going to a church service and that they'd be back soon. Brahms said he wanted to play and you accepted. You're still a bit put off by how this man who you assume to be late 20's is still acting like a child. It doesn't help that he can do a great impression of a child's voice. You're sat in the largest room downstairs, the one with the Christmas tree. You're not too sure on what to call it.
You're on the floor with Brahms playing checkers. You're letting him win, you don't want to see what he looks like when he's upset.
"So Brahms, what are you hoping to get for Christmas?" You're not a very religious person. Never usually celebrating any holidays.
"We never usually do gifts. But Hannibal and Will often get us something. I'm hoping for a new toy. Playing the same games over and over isn't much fun." You nod and move a checker.
"Well I'm sure you'll get a new game to play Brahms. I'm used to not getting anything for Christmas so I won't be missing out on much." Brahms tilts his head at this.
"Did your parents never get you anything?" He asks. You shake your head.
"It's just my ex boyfriend never got me anything really. I'm fine with it though, I don't really need gifts." You move another Checker.
"I think you deserve at least something," Brahms says, "If you could have anything for Christmas what would it be?" He asks. You pause at this. Unsure what to say. But before you even have to say anything you see someone out of the corner of your eye. It's Bubba, smiling and wearing a different skin mask. Looking at it makes your skin shudder. This time it looks like a woman's face. With curly black hair in a 50's style updo and makeup on it. You give him a friendly wave, trying to conceal your worry and turn back to the checkers board.
"Well going back to my cabin would be a great gift if you ask me." Footsteps approach and soon Bubba is sitting next to you and Brahms on the floor.
"Why don't you want to stay with us Y/n?" He asks. You know the real answer to his question. Because there's 11 homicidal maniacs in this house who could kill you at any moment. You feel yourself start to sweat. Then you think back to life with River. How he treated you and what he did to you. What would happen if you said no. How you begged him to stop and leave you alone and how he always made it your fault. It never got to the point of actual sexual assault, but it was most surely sexual abuse. Would the men here do that to you? You never heard about them raping women but what if it did happen.
All these thoughts swimming around in your head makes you start to cry. Soon turning into full on bawling. You're trying to contain how loud you're being but those awful memories keep coming back to haunt you. You feel a hand go on your shoulder and you push it away. You get up and walk back to your room. Once inside with the door shut you lay on your bed and cry into the pillows. You can still feel his hands on your, the words he said to you, how he made you hurt. Even now with him gone you can't escape what he did to you. God you wish he would just drop fucking dead.
Your breathing gets rapid and shallow when you hear your door open. You can't move your eyes away from the ground and you're starting to make loud gasping sounds. You feel like you're going to suffocate. Soon Will walks in and crouches down to look at you.
"Y/n," He says, "Y/n I think you're having a panic attack," You can only loudly gasp for air in response. Will avoids touching you, standing back up and walking over to the door, "I'm going to put an ice pack on your neck ok? It's going to help you calm down." He says before you feel the cold sensation of it on the back of your neck.
"Try to look away from the ground and look around your room. Tell us where you are, what you see, what you hear, anything you can think of." Hannibal says. You slowly move your head up and look around at your room. You're able to suck in a longer breath and feel yourself flood with the sensation of when something tight is released off your neck.
"Can we touch you?" Will asks. You quickly shake your head. After a few more filling breaths you feel like you're able to speak.
"I'm Y/n L/n, I'm in my room with you two. I can feel the ice pack on my neck and my bed underneath me." You say softly and shakily. After a few more moments you can sense your breathing is back in your control. You take the ice pack off and you see Hannibal shut the door.
"Now do you know what caused this panic attack?" Hannibal asks. You shake your head no, lying. You don't want them to know what he did to you, "Are you sure? If there's anything at all please tell us." He says. You focus on taking deep breaths and wiping away the forming tears at your eyes.
"Just um some bad memories I guess. The holidays aren't my favorite time." You say wiping away stray tears. Your eyes are still watering and you feel ashamed for crying in front of Will and Hannibal.
"Well you can spend it safely here. Everyone's very interested in you. I hope you know," Will says, trying to break the ice, "Bubba insisted on getting you a gift." Will says. You nod.
"That's very nice of him. But um I'd like to be alone for now." You say.
"We'll be outside if you need anything." Hannibal says before him and Will leave your room. After they shut the door you lay back down on your bed. You grab your pillow and curl up with it. You feel exhausted mentally. With everything going on here, thinking about River and just trying to figure out what the hell you're going to do. Maybe it's better that you stay here. With people who care about you and someone to watch over you. It's probably for the best.
Again you slip off into a light sleep and when you wake up there's a knock at the door.
"Come in." You say trying to not sound like you just woke up. The door opens and you find Jason, Bubba standing behind him.
Dinner is ready. Jason signs. You nod and rub your eyes.
" I'll be out in a minute, thank you Jason." He nods and shuts the door. You smooth over your hair and stand up. You grab your crutches and open your door. Walking over to the living room you can see everyone is in there. Michael, with a plate full of food, on his way out. You assume because he doesn't want to show anyone his face. Once in the dining room you see mostly everyone sitting down at the table. Will and Hannibal at the ends of the table. The only ones standing are Jason and Brahms, you assume for the same reasons and Michael. You spot an open seat next to Carrie and you sit there, also next to Bubba. Across from Billy, Norman and Herbert too.
Focusing on the food you can see that it's very festive. A real Christmas dinner. Your plate is already full with beautifully plated food on it.
"Welcome Y/n. I hope you don't mind but Carrie and Norman wanted to wait to eat so they could say their prayers with you." Hannibal says. He's dressed down somewhat, still very fancy but now looking more festive with a sweater and a button up shirt underneath. Despite not being very religious yourself you don't want to be rude so you look over to Carrie and take her hand to say a prayer. Bubba takes your hand too. You look over to him a little surprised but when you see the look on Thomas's face you quickly look away. Bowing your head Carrie says her blessing and after finishing you start to eat your dinner.
Everyone starts to chat and you nervously continue to eat your food.
"Y/n?" Norman asks. You look up at him and nod, "Does your family have any holiday traditions?" He asks. You shake your head.
"We don't really do much outside of give gifts and see other family. At least when I celebrated with them. Nothing too special."
"We're gonna watch a Christmas movie," Billy says. You avoid looking him in the eye. You still can't after what he did to you the other day, "Billy wants you to join tonight." He says. You just assume it's normal for him to talk in the third person because no one seems too surprised by this. You simply nod.
"Well if no one else is opposed to me joining then I don't see why not." Everyone seems happy at this and dinner goes on without any problems. You make light conversation with everyone and learn that Herbert went to a medical school in Switzerland, Hannibal was born in Lithuania, Will likes to fish, Bubba and Thomas are from Texas, Norman owns a motel that's currently out of season while he makes repairs and Carrie's lived here all of her life. You shared a bit about yourself too. How you were born and grew up a few states over, you went to college and got a major in English and a minor in journalism, how you were expecting to go get a job for a local newspaper once you moved here. But when Carrie asked why you moved here you froze up.
You came up with some lie about your old house getting flooded one too many times and you just had it. You also let them know you had a break up, but not why you broke up exactly. After dinner came dessert that Carrie made. Apple cake, something you've never had before but something you found that you liked. You practiced a bit of sign language with Bubba and Thomas, the latter who seemed somewhat warm up to you.
After you fed yourself you got up and went back to your room. You'd told yourself to get changed into something more comfortable and go back out and watch the movie with them, but with your leg aching and your mind still tired from the earlier panic attack you opted to go to bed. Tomorrow is Christmas after all, you need to be well rested before you spend the whole day with, well, could the people you're living with now be considered friends? You assume so, that's what you'll call them to keep the peace in your mind. You're living with friends.
When you wake up the next morning you're greeted with the smell of cinnamon and something sweet baking. You get up out of bed, fix your hair and put on your crutches. Opening the door you walk into the dining room you find Will waiting at the table.
"Merry Christmas Y/n. Carrie and Norman went to church already and everyone else is still asleep. Hannibal's making breakfast but I can get you something to drink while we wait." He says getting up.
"I'm fine thank you very much Will," You make your way to a chair and he pulls it out for you. Helping you sit down he takes the seat next to you, "I take it Christmas isn't very traditional here." You joke. Will nods.
"Well we've got no 'real' family to visit so we just treat it mostly like any other day of the year. But we do give a few gifts. I'll give you yours after Hannibal gets breakfast ready. But in the meantime what else can I get you?" He asks. You can't help but smile at how nice he's being.
"Some warm tea would be nice, but I can get that myself."
"No no I insist, I can get it for you don't worry." Will says getting up and leaving to the kitchen. You wait for him in the dining room when Billy runs down the stairs alongside Brahms. They quickly rush to the dining room, both sitting next to you. Last night you had to have a long discussion with them about personal space and not touching you unless you touch them first. They're doing great today.
"Merry Christmas you two." You say looking over at the both of them. Billy is wearing what he apparently wears all the time, a green turtle neck sweater and blue bell bottom jeans. Brahms is a bit more dressed up today however. He's wearing a button up shirt with a sweater vest and nice dress pants. You've heard he comes from a very wealthy background so this outfit makes sense.
"Merry Christmas Y/n." Brahms says in his usual child like voice. Billy's just mumbling something to himself so you don't want to bother him. A few moments later Hannibal walks in with a large dish and Will with a mug of tea. Hannibal sets the dish in the middle of the table, letting you see it's cinnamon rolls. Will sets down your tea and gives you a smile.
"Merry Christmas Hannibal. This smells delicious." You say and he plates one for everyone.
"Thank you Y/n. I thought I should do something special for today. Is everyone else in their rooms?" He asks.
"As far as I know, yes," With those words a large arm reaches over your shoulder and grabs a plate, making you jump a bit. Looking up you find Michael looking down at you. God you forgot how tall he is. He slightly tilts his head before pulling the plate with the cinnamon roll to him.
"Merry Christmas Michael," You say knowing you're not going to get a reply. He looks back up and walks back off to his room. As you watch him leave you notice Jason is in the dining room too. You give him a smile and he seems to smile back at you, "Merry Christmas Jason." He signs the same words to you before grabbing his breakfast and going back up to his room.
After everyone ate their food. Brahms took you to the family room and sat you by the fireplace. You can see a few gifts under the tree for everyone, marked from Will and Hannibal. Jason, Thomas and Bubba soon joined you to open the gifts. Billy got another sweater that looks the same as his other one, but you didn't question it. Brahms got an outfit that looks like it's for a doll. Jason got a blue gray sweater that looks like it's from the 80's, this made him very emotional.
Thomas got a large butcher's knife that made you adjust in your seat. Bubba got a very pretty looking dress. Will got some supplies to make more tackle with and Hannibal got some very expensive looking European wine. Then it came down to your gift. Wrapped in plain black wrapping paper, you assume by Hannibal. You carefully open it to find a set of crochet hooks and a few balls of yarn. This made you pause.
"How did you know I crochet?" You ask Will and Hannibal.
"We found a few hooks in your luggage when we were getting your clothes. They looked like they needed to be replaced. These are nicer ones. Hand made with Cherry wood. The yarn is also local wool." Hannibal explains. You had to give up your hobby while with River. He said that there were more important things for you to do than waste your time and money on that. You'd brought your hooks with you as a way to defy him. To show him that you're not letting him control your life anymore. You feel yourself begin to smile a wide toothy smile as tears form.
Not only does Hannibal and Will care enough to get you supplies for your hobby, but they went out of their way to make sure you had quality supplies. Tears start to fall and you can't help but laugh a little. Laughing knowing that they do truly care about you more than the man who said he loved you.
"Thank you both very much. You have no idea how much this means to me," Feeling inclined you give Will a hug and Hannibal one too. You could see a look of jealousy in Brahms eyes so you went over and gave him a hug too, "Thank you all for making me feel so welcome here."
Soon after the gift giving everyone went to the living room where talking commenced. Carrie, Norman and even Herbert soon joined in with all of you. After a good hour even Michael came and sat with all of you. This was the best Christmas you'd had in years.