" You better" Blaise glares down at her.
" Oh well, this might make you feel better" Loki goes to her podium.
" If it isn't Harry Fucking Potter"
" Oh my goodness, WHAT IS THIS" Harry looks a bit creeped out.
" Its a very potter musical trilogy" Loki says " Your going to love it".
" I'm scared" Neville says.
" At least, they are beeping out the cuss words" McGonagall appreciates.
" No, its boring now" Draco shook his head.
" Didn't you go up like a sexy bitch like your father"
" I wonder who that was about?" Hermione laughs.
" I was going to say Lucius because of bitch but Lucius isn't sexy" Harry thinks.
" Respect your Elders, Harry" Fred jokes around.
" His son and wife are right here" George points.
" Not like I care" Narcissa whispers.
" You do care at the moment" Fred whispers back/.
" I'm going to ignore him" Lucius turns to Snape.
" He's an intolerable little pest" Snape says.
" Father and son.,. the best answer is Lucius and Draco" Ginny answers.
" Thanks" Draco nods.
" It wasn't a compliment bitch"
" It has an inscription on the side that says I opened the clothes whatever the fuck that means"
" That must be a diary" Hermione guesses " Seems a bit personal".
" Tom Riddle's" Pansy smirks.
" Who knows" Ron says.
" Me, I do" Loki waves.
" So-"
" Because you can't kill me and you can't kill any of these people"
" What the fuck, are you on about"
" That your weak" Harry says.
" The Dark Lord is never weak" Bellatrix looks disgusted " How dare you say that".
" The Truth?" Harry turns to her " I've always dared to say it'.
" and theirs's no fucking homework"
" Who the hell is jumping up like that?" Ron seems concerned.
" A Student" Luna says.
" Obviously, but specifically who?"
" A student" Neville repeats.
" Your not helping, Neville" Ron gets annoyed.
" I know"
" She's just a Fucking peach girl, don't we just fucking love her".
" Yes, we do' Harry shouts.
" Was that suppose to be Umbridge and me" Ginny gasps.
" I believe so" Blaise chuckles.
" Why is she played by a man?" Draco looks horrified.
'"Because its funnier" Fred says.
" but I'm afraid She's dead"
" Who? Ginny Weasley?" Bellatrix asks.
" Why do you think so?" Dumbledore asks.
" Chamber of secrets" Lucius answers.
" ah fuck"
" Is that supposed to be me?' Dumbledore wonders.
" I think so but you wouldn't cuss this much" McGonagall says.
" a real butter butter beer its just cream soda you fucking idiot"
" I refuse to believe that" Pansy tilts her read " Weasel pass me a Butter beer".
" Sure" Ron passes her one.
" Thanks"
" That was the kindest gesture you guys have done towards each other" Blaise realizes.
" Just because I did her a favor doesn't mean I would murder her any second" Ron says. He wanted them to know he wasn't a submissive weakling.
" Murder is very strong" Narcissa tells him.
" I think he knows" George looks at Ron's head.
" He probably doesn't" Fred shrugs.
'" and you two your going to do this"
" Is that my father?" Draco looks mortified.
" It is" Harry smiles.
" I think that's me their as well" Blaise looks scared.
" yes, its going to feel goofy but its going look so fucking good".
" That dance is goofy, I refuse to do it" Blaise says.
" You can't refuse when your not in the play or even up their" Hermione reminds him " Idiot".
" You can't refuse senior Malfoy's orders" Ron says.
" Yes, I can. You do it all the time" Blaise argues.
" I see" Lucius rubs his chin.
" What the Fuck"
" I'm guessing that's Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory" Draco shakes his head.
" What a lose, wouldn't blame Cho though" Fred says.
" You say what now" Ginny stares at her brother.
" What? Cedric is total hots" Fred tells her.
" I agree" Draco nods.
" That's gay" Ginny turns to him.
" Just because I find a man hot doesn't mean I'm gay" Draco argues.
" Bound to this Diary, Shit Journal".
" It's a Diary" Luna says.
" That's what I thought' Neville smiles nervously.
" I look horrified" Ginny notices.
" Yes, Its a talking Diary" Pansy reminds her.
" Down to this fucking Journal"
" Oh switch of mood, I like it now" Ginny says " Don't remember that".
" I heard that Harry Potter talking behind your back that you was the chubby little fucker"
* The Theatre actually starts to laugh at this*
" Oh she was" Harry nods and laughs.
" I like that old lady" Neville points.
" I do too, she speaks knowledge" Ron claps.
" Yeah, yeah I know I remember that year. Fuck that year"
" Oop, What happened that year?" Ginny tries to hold her laugh.
" Probably some more traumatizing things" Harry shrugs. " Almost every year".
" Is that..me?" Draco seems as if he wants to cry. The theatre starts to laugh at his anger. " Why am I being played by a girl?!?!"
" I thought I said this most girls play you" Loki answers.
" I thought on like useless social media not like professional plays" Draco quivers.
" You think this is Professional?" Loki raises an eyebrow and smirks.
" Professional enough for me" Harry says.
" Don't worry, Umbridge is played by a guy" Ginny tries to make him relax jokingly even though she knew that would only get him irritated even more.
" Cause she's a BITCH" Draco starts to breathe heavily.
" Don't worry, Professional Plays like Cursed Child have you played by another guy not like we enjoy cursed child" Loki whispers.
" What's a cursed child?" Neville asked.
" a cursed child" Luna answers.
" No like-"
" Its a Professional Play" Ron turns to him.
" No, what's it about-"
" A cursed child" Pansy gets a bit heated.
" Who's?" Everyone turns to Loki.
" That's a spoiler" Loki says.
" It won't fucking work. Oh come on. worst deathly hallows ever"
" What was the deathly hallows?" Narcissa asks.
" You wish I knew" Bellatrix asks.
" You can find Harry in your neighborhood bookstore this fall motherucker"
" Oh, That's how my books look like" Harry gasps.
" Yours? Its ours" Draco argues.
" It has my name on it"
" I'm confused on this ours, Malfoy. Do you mean all of us in this room our , just you and Harry our" Hermione asks.
" Drarry content" Fred giggles.
" All of us, Granger" Draco looks annoyed.
" Ok, so yeah I agree because I'm in the book" Hermione says. She turns around to face front.
" Yes, Its all of ours. sheesh" Harry shakes his head.
" You don't know a Goddamn thing about a magical night together you fucking little Snape in the grass"
* The theatre gasps in shock*
' I wouldn't take that just saying" Harry laughs a little.
" I mean she's not wrong" Ginny shrugs.
" Neither has she had a magical night' Ron adds.
" I agree on the potter boy with this" Lucius tells him.
" Its a play, It doesn't describe my personal life" Snape flicks his hands.
" If you say so.." Lucius says still feeling a bit of doubt in what he was saying.
" Damn it spiders. I fucking hate spiders".
" That's my line" Ron shouts.
" Stole it" Harry says.
" arrest them fuckers. Were the wizard cops."
" Oh my goodness" Hermione shakes her head " Their called Aurors".
" Its a Play for jokes" George tells her.
" Don't ruin the fun with your big brain" Fred says.
" Big Brain" George starts to laugh and Fred follows along.
" You didn't even do anything"
" I hate her" Draco whispers.
" Hate is a strong word" Fred whispers.
" I know, I tell potty over their all the time" Draco munches extra hard on some popcorn.
" Excuse me this dead dumb motherfuc-".
" I would be done too if Draco was even in a case" Hermione says.
" You don't know Draco like I do" Pansy tells her.
" Oh please stop this madness" Hermione backs away.
" Walk on the ground. put them in a boil. I'm not fucking around this time"
" Oh he's serious" Dumbledore says.
" Sirius Black" Bellatrix cackles.
" Oh shut up" Harry growls.
" That'll be like taking our whole world and and and-"
" Fucking it in the face".
" I am horrified" Harry has a blank expression.
" I think everyone does" Ginny looks around to see the same.
" I really want to know who this character is" Draco says.
" Why else would you have such a little D".
* Theatre goes silent with their mouths open and slowly turn to Draco*
" I don't" Draco turns red.
" This play is exposing you" Ginny points.
" Your father is" Harry says.
" The play isn't cannon" Draco argues.
" and the statement I didn't say by myself , so its not true" Lucius argues.
" Its wierd your all obsessed with sizes" Draco shakes his head.
" No, its just that we have something to bully your huge ego which doesn't seem to be as huge in you-'
Draco shuts her mouth with his hand.
" Shut up"
" Its so small"
" and you were saying" Ginny turns to him with a smirk.
"I told you to shut up"
" but you didn't me so you were saying" Fred chimes in.
" What are you all on about?" Draco glares at them " Why are you so obsessed with my size?"
" Oh dear, someone bleach my hearing" McGonagall covers her ears.
" Me as well" Snape covers his ears " What about you Dumbledore?"
" Yes, Indeed" Dumbledore nods but doesn't cover his ears.
" Cause you say its big when you know its not" Ginny explains herself.
" What do you even knows what's big or not. are you a virgin?" Draco asks her.
" Yes"
" So how would you know?"
" Cause I see-"
" You see what?" Fred suddenly gets concerned.
" Nothing"
" Oh, well we have caught the culprit" Ron stares at his sister.
" What are you seeing?, we beg of you" George stares in shock.
" See how the whole conversation switched" Hermione sits back down.
" Their not truly ready for such a conversation" Blaise replies.
" Its because your a fucking elf"
* The Theatre gasps*
" That makes sense" Fred nods.
" How?" Narcissa wonders.
" Lucius Fucked Dobby" Harry answers.
" What the hell" Lucius seems disgusted as he should.
" First off Humans can't mate with Elves. That's two different species and Dobby is a male" Hermione explains feeling disgusted.
" He fucked winky" Harry argues.
" Inter-species" Hermione seethes.
" He fucked another female elf in his manor"
" Its Interspecies " Hermione repeats.
" Science, Muggle science"
" I didn't fuck anyone but my lawfully wedded wife" Lucius stands up angry.
" Well, ok" Narcissa looks down.
" Well clearly that's why this baboon is here" Harry rubs his forehead. Draco was just a tiny close in reaching over to hit him.
" He said that proudly" Ron says.
" A lot of people can't" Pansy hisses.
" This makes Fifty shades of grey look like a book for kids"
" Oh I'm their" Hermione seems a bit uncomfortable.
" What's fifty shades of grey?" Pansy asks.
' an erotic book and don't even get me on the movies" Loki whistles.
" Oh my goodness, what the f-hell" Hermione screams.
" I knew you read smut book" Blaise smirks.
" I don't" Hermione says.
" So how did you feel so inspired that you wrote more then what Fifty shades of grey could"
"....fuck'"
" is she crying?" Harry glares.
" Yes, obviously. Ugly crying"
" Harry Potter's girlfriend is sad because she is still alive".
" That's crazy, she doesn't even know your name" Draco punches her shoulder
" That's some suicide shit right their" Ginny says ignoring him.
" Does baby want some wine with that cheese, fuck you"
" HELL YEAH" Draco claps.
" What a fucking idiot"
" See Granger cusses" Blaise says.
' This play isn't canon"
" Just like my d is small" Draco argues.
' We'll think about that" Hermione smiles at him.
" I'm sorry did I make you cry, you chubby little fucker"
" So she's fatphobic as well. makes sense" Luna nods.
" She's so mean" Neville frowns.
" I'm a professor for very magical children. oh fuck shit"
" I cuss way too much" Dumbledore notices.
" Cause your in character" Loki says.
" That's not my character"
" Well in my world yes" Loki chuckles.
" Well guess what kitties, they're just resin and boy howdy do they break like fucking twigs"
" Yes wands can break very easily' Pansy says.
" I've had a few" Neville says.
" Just once for now" Ron smiles.
" I love you all except you Draco. I can't fucking stand you"
" Its an Honor and pleasure" Draco bows slightly. " Same to you and alot of others in this room. "
" See enemies" Harry claps.
" Little Fucker"
" She's breaking down again" Ginny laughs.
' Oh its funny" Fred giggles.
" called me a chubby little fucker"
" Damn" Harry smiles.
"where the fuck is the wizard cops"
" I am confused" Neville says.
" NOOOO"
" Its also clearly now fuck, I"
* Clip ends*
" That last ends was chaotic' Hermione laughs.
" I didn't even understand what was going on anymore" Pansy adds.
" So, I'll just like to speak for a few things" Loki moves away from her podium.
" Its Christmas Eve"
" What?" Blaise stares.
" How?"
" Well, it is" Loki shrugs. " I left here for a bit because yesterday the eve of Christmas eve all the power in my house was gone but now that its Christmas eve it has been restored.
" Oh good that would have been terrible on Christmas" Ginny says.
" I know right, I have a last photo" Loki teleports to her podium.
" Teleportation?" Draco realizes.
" New skill" Loki winks.
requested by: Uchiha_Midnight111
" Death Eaters at Christmas" Loki describes.
" Why wasn't this put in a Potter Arts segment?" Luna asks politely.
" Well, the next Potter Arts segment would be way after Christmas and the one before well I didn't get the photo sent to me" Loki answers.
" Sent?" Harry catches.
" You know what, What's up next?" Loki hoovers to her list.