×× Justin ××
As he stared at his phone after a call from Mia, Jeremy's assistant, Justin knew he was in trouble. He hadn't done really well with his business studies assignment and the news had reached his dad. He didn't want to have to see the man that day, not on any day. He just wanted to be his own person and do what his heart was telling him to do.
Justin got dressed after taking a shower. He slipped on a navy blue and white striped t-shirt, dark jeans and sneakers and went to sort his hair out.
He didn't even feel like going to school so he decided not to. Instead, Justin planned on visiting his mother's and siblings' graves later in the day. He wasn't good at expressing his feelings but he felt it was easy to talk to his mother whether or not she was alive. He remembered fondly that she had a good ear and a good heart and that he'd still be happy if she were alive. She always knew how to cheer him up when he was down. She'd give him some advice then stroke his hair until he calmed down or fell asleep.
Justin got his phone and keys off his dresser and left his room. On his way to Jeremy's office, he stopped at Starbucks for a quick breakfast. He'd need the energy, he thought.
Jeremy ran a successful investments company that he expected Justin to take over after getting his degree. Of course, Justin never had a heart for business but since his grandfather had handed down the company to Jeremy, there was probably no way out of the family business. Justin did his best at school though. He had some fair grades that Jeremy was never happy about but he passed each semester, even if it was by luck.
Justin made it to the company building and greeted the red haired receptionist before making his way to the elevator to head up to his dad's office. He knew that Jeremy would have lots of questions to ask but Justin already had all the answers, as usual.
He knocked on the thick wooden doors of Jeremy's office and walked in after Jeremy invited him in.
"You're here early." Jeremy looked up at his son from his computer.
"You're never satisfied." Justin closed the door behind him. "I'm either too late or too early."
Jeremy was always ready for Justin's smart comebacks. Always. But he never knew what new things his son would say to him so he always felt the need to prepare himself whenever he needed to see Justin.
Justin pulled out a chair and sat at his dad's desk, facing him. He knitted his fingers together on his lap and slouched in his seat deliberately, knowing how much it annoyed Jeremy.
"We're here to discuss my business studies results from my assignment, huh?" Justin began.
"So you do know that you did badly." Jeremy focused his attention on Justin.
"I'm not stupid. I can always sense when I did badly at something. I've told you countless times that I hate the subject, dad."
"I know that but what was your grandfather's wishes before he passed away?" Jeremy grinned coldly.
"Technically, his will said that I could get my inheritance after getting my degree. Nowhere did that will say I had to have a degree in business or that I had to work here afterwards. "
"But this was his company, son. Someone needs to carry it on after I step down."
"Then sell it to someone who cares."
Jeremy chuckled and ran his hand over his face.
"Justin, this is a family company. No one else can have it."
"Cool. Then I'm sure you're looking forward to living a long life because I'm not doing anything business-y. I'd rather not even attempt to take control of the company. Grandpa would roll in his grave if I messed things up."
"And that's why you need to pay attention to your classes."
"Grandpa knew I always had a love for architecture and other things. He never pushed me or insisted I do business."
"I just want what's best for the family."
"You would've pushed Jaxon this hard too?"
"Jaxon was only a child, Justin. Don't bring him into this."
Justin rolled his eyes.
"Of course. Because you never want to talk about Jaxon or mom or Jazmyn."
"Now isn't the time, Justin."
"It's never the time. You don't even take flowers to mom's grave."
Jeremy said nothing.
"You said if I did badly then you'd take my car." Justin placed his keys on the table. "Just know that once I finish my studies and get that degree and my inheritance, I'll be out of your life for good." He promised.
Jeremy looked into his son's eyes for a moment and saw that Justin wasn't bluffing.
"Keep the car." He said.
Justin shook his head subtly and put the keys back in his pocket.
"I figured." He muttered. "It's pretty sad that you only talk to me when you find something wrong that I did."
"You make it hard to communicate with you."
"I make it hard." Justin chuckled and sat up straight. "All you want to talk about is work and money. When last did you want to talk about hockey or basketball? Go out for a pizza with me like we used to? Maybe talk about mom and Jazzy and Jaxon? It's been how many years? Almost five? And you're still not over it."
"You're too old for sports talks and pizza outings."
Justin shook his head and got up.
"I don't know you anymore." He said.
"Sit down, Justin. We aren't through here."
"No, we are. There's so much that I'm good at, dad, but you don't care. I did so well in my architecture class, I'm even working on a project based on companies and I designed a building to honour grandpa's hard work. But do you care? No. You'd rather call me to tell me that I'm a failure because I got a 52% in my business assignment. You don't even ask me if there's someone special in my life or how my friends are doing. You don't invite me to lunch or ask about my interests... when I walk out of your life, you will be alone."
"Now, you watch how you talk to me, young man." Jeremy said calmly.
"Or what?" Justin challenged. "You'll take my car away? Make me move out of my apartment to come stay with you and Elizabeth? Send me to summer camp like you used to every year after mom died so you wouldn't have to look at me so you wouldn't remember her? Ground me? Cut my allowance? Take my phone away? Lock me in a dungeon? Go ahead, dad. Nothing you can do can ever hurt my feelings like you're hurting them now. Nothing."
Justin walked towards the door and turned the knob before turning around to face his dad.
"Granpa would've been proud of me." He said softly then walked out.
He got to his car and sat in it for a few minutes, trying to decide if going to visit his mother's grave would be a good idea, considering his emotions. She wouldn't mind, he thought and started the car.
Justin bought some flowers for his lost loved ones then headed to the cemetery. The place was well organised and green with grass and tall trees and all these graves put out neatly and in an orderly fashion. Pattie's grave wasn't hard to find at all. It was next to Jaxon's and Jazmyn's. The three of them had shared one large tombstone which was of three angels, the middle one holding a scroll that had Pattie's, Jazmyn's and Jaxon's dates of birth and death and a Bible scripture too.
Justin kneeled down and did his best to remove some decaying leaves off of his family's graves then he placed flowers on each ones. He then crossed his legs and faced his mother's grave, not knowing what to say for a while.
His feelings overwhelmed him. Not being able to express his feelings in a while had an impact on him and right there, he felt like giving in and crying.
Justin wiped his tears and sighed, wondering how it was possible to lose everyone you loved in one go. He should've gone to Jaxon's soccer game that day. Maybe he would've died too in that accident. Maybe he'd be in a better place with his loved ones and not here, having to deal with Jeremy all the time. He always felt guilty about that day but he knew his mother wouldn't want him to. Maybe if he'd been driving, the accident wouldn't have happened.
Justin decided to pour his heart out to his mother and then tell her about Skylar. He managed a smile when he brought her up. He told his mom about his schooling and funny things he and his friends had recently gotten up to... by the time he headed back to his car, he almost felt lighter, in a sense, and he believed that his mother had been listening and would comfort him soon enough, somehow.
He missed them all dearly.
Justin drove back to his apartment and decided to spend some time alone. He wasn't in the greatest of moods so he figured that some time to himself would do him some good.
He looked at his guitar for a moment and wondered where his inspiration had gone off to for so long. He hadn't written a single song in a few years.
Out of his closet, right at the back, was a black notebook that was covered with all sorts of stickers. Justin smiled at the innocence of the cover as he remembered that he was only 11 when his grandmother bought the notebook for him. He opened the first page and saw some doodles around the edges of the page, framing his personal details like his full name and address in case he lost the book and someone found it. On the next page was the first song he remembered writing, 'Baby'. Reading over the lyrics made him scoff. How cheesy, he thought as he paged through the book some more.
He felt inspired in that moment, maybe because he felt a bit heavy and hadn't turned to writing-- his therapy-- in so long.