Louis felt like he was slowly losing the life he had inside of his body.
He didn't get to Skype Harry as much as he intended to while being with his mother, and it was mainly because their schedules didn't mix with one another. Harry's mum was forcing him to go to a daily Bible study, and Louis' mum would consistently take him out to meet other family members in hopes that he wouldn't be completely bored inside of the beach house she had. Everytime that Louis had time though, Harry became distant and non cooperative.
She told him to go and mingle at random points, but Louis would only shake his head and mumble incoherent words that sounded like Harry and need. He was indeed becoming a lovesick puppy, and the thought made him feel vulnerable and absolutely weird inside of his stomach. He thought that Harry would be the one groveling and not him, and he wasn't exactly the most sentimental person in the world- well, before.
He texted Harry at least an hour ago, sending him small I love you messages, and god he knew that it was completely dorky but nothing mattered when it came to Harry. The thing was, Harry still hadn't answered his calls, and Louis was pacing around his room going absolutely crazy because he missed his Hazza and he definitely had to miss him, right? Relax, just call him.
No, Louis argued with his inner self.
Yes, the text probably didn't go through. Call.
No, he'll think I'm crazy.
Bro.
Suddenly, his phone began to ring and knocked Louis out of his daydream, causing him to grab the phone frantically and press accept when he realized that it was Harry. He began to smile widely and walked around his room, frowning when he heard the bass booming from the speakers on the other end of the phone- indicating that Harry was at a party of the sort.
"Harry?" Louis asked carefully, moving the phone from his ear slightly when the noise was becoming too much. There was shuffling before Louis heard a faint:
"You like that you fucking twink? Taking my c-ck like a fucking champ."
Louis nearly dropped the phone onto his carpet when he heard the deep throaty voice, his breath becoming shaky when he heard Harry respond with: "Yes, fuck me harder!" He must have dialed my number by accident. Harry's moans were echoing through the phone and ringing through Louis' ears like loud sirens, and he was urging himself to hang up but he couldn't help but grip his phone and listen harder. This couldn't be him.
But fuck those moans were as recognizable than ever, and Louis felt like pulling his hair out for being so stupid. So foolish to think that love was anything like he and Harry had. He was beginning to realize that I need you was completely different from I want you and that really shook him up, and that made him feel awake. Louis could only take a second more of Harry moaning before he hung up the phone and threw it on top of the carpet, his throat feeling like it was becoming constricted.
"Louis, are you still coming with me to the supermarket?" his mother yelled from outside of the door, knocking on it with her dainty fist. Louis tried to control himself and he shut his eyes, taking a steady breath before responding, not wanting to make her come in here.
"No, mother. I'm staying here."
"Do you want me to bring you back something like chips? Juice? Candy?" Go away.
"No."
"Well, I'm going now." Bye.
Louis sat on the floor and looked at the black screen of his phone, running a hand through his hair until he was sick and tired of sitting around. He was hurting on the inside, and the feeling was worse than anything that he'd ever felt before, heartache. He felt like he needed to occupy himself because he hadn't felt the need to relapse in so long until now. Breathe.
He stayed holding himself in a little ball into he fell asleep, placing his head in between his knees.
. . .
"Louis, sorry it took me so long to respond. I was at Bible study, and you know how long that takes to finish, ha." Harry said happily, not noticing how much Louis was glaring at him through the screen. After Louis had woken up, he had about two messages from Harry explaining how they needed to Skype as soon as he got home from 'Bible Study', and how he missed him. He must have not known about the little call he made. "Louis?"
"Yes?"
"You seem angry," Harry pointed out, pointing towards the furrowed eyebrows stamped on Louis' face.
"Do I?"
"Yes, actually you do. If this is about how we rarely speak as much, I'd just like to say that-"
"I heard you, Harry."
Harry paused and looked into the screen with his dark green eyes before coughing. "Heard what exactly?"
"You. I heard you moaning, and I heard that guy fucking you and calling you a twink, and you were loving every minute of it. I heard it all." Louis rambled angrily, his nails digging into his inner thigh the more he thought about it. "Did you think about me during all of that? God, was I just an experiment?"
"An exp- Louis, no-"
"I trusted you! And I know how much of a girl I sound like, but seriously Harry? You promised."
"Louis, it was a mistake." Harry tried to argue, his voice moving through the speakers and bouncing off the walls. "I swear, he meant nothing to me. You're the one I want, not him-"
"That's exactly it, Harry. I'm only someone you want, not someone you need and maybe that's what I've been stressing over for the past few months." Louis whispered out the last part and Harry never broke eye contact, his eyes watering the more Louis breathed. "I don't want to do this-"
"Then don't." Harry pleaded, his voice cracking towards the end. It made Louis furious.
"You did this, not me. But I have to. This was one of the reasons you told me I should break up with you for, and I'm honestly done at the moment. I just thought- I thought you'd wait."
"I love you, Louis."
"Yeah well, I was in love with you."
And then he hung up.
NOTE: :(
one more chapter & that's gonna be the kinda epilogue harrys pov since it started with his aw
QUESTION: HARRY?? VIEWS AT THIS POINT?? HOW WILL YOU PLAN TO KILL ME??