Friday 17th December, 1976
It was the last day of term, the Christmas holidays just a day away. Many kids from years 5 to 7 were staying for the dance, and some of the younger ones were too, hoping they'd be able to sneak into the Yule Ball.
For the rest of the week since Sunday, Regulus and I would go to our spot and dance for about two hours every day right after school finished. We even danced on our patrol, giggling and laughing as he spun me around the halls, the moonlight shining on us through the windows. Sometimes though, we'd only dance for about fifteen minutes when we went to practise and spend the remaining time just talking.
The thing that dampened all these happy memories though, was when Regulus pulled away. He'd been doing it more often, trying to put distance between us but failing every time. I didn't know why, and that thought worried me. Did I do something wrong? Why was he acting like a gentleman one minute and then a complete utter jerk the next? The answers were lost to me.
When I wasn't hanging out with Regulus, or needed a break from his cold demeanour, I hung out with the marauders or Lily, Mary, and Marlene. I had been right about my theory with Sirius, having watched alongside the rest of the marauders as one night Sirius just up and asked Remus to the Yule Ball.
Currently, the girls and I were entering the Great Hall for the next dancing lesson, finding the marauders and sitting next to them. Today, Slughorn was teaching us dancing and he had decided that pairing students together from different houses was a good idea, because of course he did.
"Ah, Miss Potter," Slughorn said when he arrived in front of me. "You will be paired with..." he trailed off, searching the sea of students before him. "Regulus Black. You work well together as Prefects."
Proud with his decision, he moved on, leaving me to find Regulus's face within the crowd of students, smiling slightly. He smiled back, only to turn stone-cold when his friends looked at him, sliding his gaze away from me as if he'd lost interest in staring at me. I frowned, turning away and looking at the ground until we had to go over to our partners.
I walked over to Regulus slowly, waiting on bated breath to see if he was in another one of his moods, but once his friends disappeared he seemed more open, sending me a smirk as I arrived in front of him.
When the music started, Regulus and I got into dancing positions, but as we started moving I felt a wave of insecurity hit me as I looked at all the other people surrounding us. I hated that they were all there, watching me.
"Just ignore them," Regulus murmured, noticing my discomfort.
I tore my gaze from everyone else, letting it land on Regulus. "How?"
"Just look at me."
I followed his command, my eyes staring intently at his face. I looked at his eyes that resembled the night sky, smiling slightly because it matched well with his name. It was only fitting that the boy named after a star would have stars in his eyes. You couldn't see the stars as well because there wasn't any light shining directly into them, but if I looked hard enough I could distinguish the dots. My eyes strayed to his mouth, red and plump, as if begging me to kiss them. I wanted to, desperately, but Regulus would never kiss me back. I'd have to be satisfied with the kiss we shared in detention, one I found myself thinking about late at night when I couldn't fall to sleep.
"See? You're doing fine," Regulus said.
I blinked, realising that my body had gone into autopilot as I stared at Regulus. I wondered when dancing with Regulus had become familiar enough to me that I could dance without constantly tripping over myself.
"Thanks," I said sheepishly.
Regulus's features softened as he looked at me, pulling me slightly closer. We were brought to reality when a fight broke out between Marlene and her Slytherin partner, Severus. Immediately Regulus closed off, and I wanted to ask him so bad why he kept running away.
"Right then! Since your behaviour is this bad, dancing is cancelled!" Slughorn declared, as if this was supposed to make us upset. "You need to learn that your actions have consequences."
Students started swarming out of the Great Hall in a hurry, glad to be rid of dancing lessons. Regulus was one of the first out, walking so fast that any quicker and he would be full out sprinting. I tried not to feel hurt, but the sadness crept in anyway.
I left with the marauders, and as they talked, their conversation moved to me.
"You've improved a lot since the last dance lesson," James noted suspiciously. "How?"
I shrugged. "I guess I got mum's good dancing skills after all."
Sirius snorted. "You're not that good."
I scoffed, elbowing Sirius in the side as a reply. Remus moved between us, linking my arm with his, and quickly changed the subject.
"So, what are we going to do for Christmas?"
"Y/n will come to our dorm, obviously," James said.
I scowled at the lack of free choice in his statement. I had never stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas break before, though James had once or twice to keep Sirius company, since he never went home for the holidays. This meant that Christmas at Hogwarts was fairly new, so we weren't sure what we were going to do. It seemed like James had planned it all out though.
"Fine," I mumbled, knowing that it would have been much more of a struggle if all the boys tried to get into my dorm.
The conversation strayed to quidditch and the quidditch final game coming up in March between Slytherin and Gryffindor. I had only been to the Gryffindor quidditch games so far, but even then I only half watched them. Regulus was going to be playing in the next game against Gryffindor though, so maybe I'd pay more attention.
"Where are we even going?" I asked as we turned a corner, heading for the doors to outside.
James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus all shared a look, grinning, and sped up their pace to the doors, forcing me to do the same as my arm was still linked with Remus.
"We have a surprise for you," was all James said.
I narrowed my eyes at the boys around me, wondering what they were up to. I got my answer moments later when we exited the castle and immediately I was hit in the face with a snowball.
"Sirius!" I shrieked, my face stinging from the cold as the marauders laughed and continued pelting me with snowballs.
I turned and ran back inside, desperate to escape the snowball attack. The others just magicked the snowballs to levitate inside and throw themselves at me, chasing after me while laughing with one another.
I turned the corner and slammed into a firm body. I realised the body belonged to Regulus, the boy in question currently staring at me, dazed.
"Why are you running?" he asked.
The marauders laughter echoed behind me, even Remus's, and I needed to get out of the open. I grabbed Regulus's arm and darted into the nearest broom closet, shutting the door behind me. This broom closet was smaller than the usual ones, and Regulus and I were both pressed up against each other.
"Why- "
"Shh," I hushed, unable to move my hand to make a silencing gesture.
Regulus listened to me nevertheless and we both waited apprehensively, wondering if the marauders would find us or not.
Spoiler alert, they did.
The door was pulled open with a triumphant 'Ha!' only for silence to descend on the four boys as they found me in the broom closet pressed up against Regulus. The smiles disappeared, replaced with outrage as Sirius grabbed the collar of my shirt and wrenched me out of the closet, James doing the same with Regulus, expressing their disapproval in shouts and very animated hand gestures.
"You don't actually think we were doing anything, do you?" I asked, interrupting the two's rampage.
They looked at me, calming down slightly as they're gaze slid from me to Regulus to me again.
"Well- now that I think about it, no," James admitted, somewhat sheepishly. "We know you have standards."
"And he's a Slytherin," Sirius added.
"I'm your brother," Regulus snapped, seemingly without thinking.
"Oh, are you now?" Sirius retorted mockingly, venom lacing his words.
The air went tense, all eyes landing on Regulus and Sirius as we waited with bated breath to see what happened next.
"I've always been your brother," Regulus hissed. "You're the one who left."
"Of course I fucking left! They're a family of Death Eaters Regulus. It's a hell hole there," Sirius shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.
I shared an uneasy look with the remaining marauders, wondering if I should intervene before it's too late.
"You left me in that hell hole!" Regulus screamed back.
"Because you were too weak to leave."
The next thing I knew, Regulus's fist connected with Sirius's jaw accompanied with a loud crack as Sirius stumbled back, hand going to his face.
I immediately went to Regulus, grabbing his arm and pulling him away, rubbing his arm and whispering quiet assurances in his ear. Regulus seemed to visibly relax at my touch, almost leaning into it, until he seemed to remember it was me that was holding him, tensing up again. I pushed back the hurt, knowing this wasn't the time, and let go of him before he could push me off.
He gave his brother one last glance before spinning around and stalking away, not even acknowledging me. I felt a pang of sadness, one Remus noticed, and he gave me a sympathetic smile. I took a deep breathe, clearing my face of emotion, and walked over to Sirius to see if he was okay.
We ended up going to the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfrey fixing Sirius up quickly without any questions. When we were walking back to the Gryffindor Common Room, Peter spoke, breaking the silence.
"Why didn't you hit him back?"
Sirius stopped walking, his hands balling into fists as he turned around to face us, hurt clear on his face. "Because I'm not my mother."
He stormed off, Remus giving us an apologetic look before going after him, and James and I shared a look.
This had not been a good day.
A/N:
so, i decided to publish a few chapters now so that on christmas i can publish the christmas chapter for aesthetic. that means i'll be publishing a few chapters today, one on friday as per usual, and then one of christmas.
consider it your early christmas gift, because i love you all <3