Chapter Eleven
"Absolutely not. No way. Out of the question."
"That's bullshit," I argued with Hades, who sat across from me at the breakfast table, "How the fuck am I supposed to get stronger if all I'm doing is walking and eating?" Hades raised an eyebrow, folding his arms over his chest. Besides him, Lucy was silently drinking his coffee and watching us over the rim of his cup that read world's best dad on it. It matched Hades's cup that said the same thing, except instead of a little heart on it, there was a skull.
"According to Ryk, you're not doing either of those things anyway, so what's the point?" Hades asked. I glared at him.
"It's not for lack of trying. I don't want to eat. I don't like eating. It's boring."
"Sucks to suck, but that's what you gotta do to, you know, stay alive."
"But it's not gonna help anyway!"
"Yes, it will. Your body needs sustenance, something to draw energy from, and that energy comes from, surprise surprise, food, so do the world a favor and eat your breakfast."
"I'm not hungry!" I snapped angrily, then shoved back from the table and got up, storming out of the room because I hated to be trapped there any longer with those two and their telepathic conversations and their know-it-all attitudes. Of course, it wasn't just the hunger that was getting to me now. Now it was the lack of sleep creeping up on me. The exhaustion was sinking into my bones and making me sluggish, and worse, clumsy. I'd dropped three glasses in the past two days, shattering them on the floor, then I'd banged my head on the shower spigot and fallen down the stairs.
Worse, I wasn't allowed to go outside because of the spring rains that flooded the gardens and the land outside, making it too hard to maneuver and the fact that no one wanted me to get sick outside in the cold rain. And even if I did want to go out, Ryk would have to be with me and specifically keep me away from where the other guys trained, because the day after playing hide and seek had so thoroughly exhausted me that I had to stay in bed all day.
It wasn't fair.
I shouldn't be trapped here doing nothing. I should be out there in the world trying to find the guy who hurt me and kill him.
At this point, I wasn't even sure what to do. It was like nothing I did would get me out of this hole and I was getting uncomfortable in this environment of constant optimism. It was disheartening, honestly.
Sighing, I raked my hands through my hair and headed upstairs with the intention to crawl into bed and do nothing. Hell, I'd even sleep, even if it was only for a couple hours. I got to the floor with the bedrooms, but I heard a strange distant thumping sound. Curious, I headed down the hallway and found my way to the gym. I'd known it was there, but I hadn't seen anyone there in a while and the door was always locked, probably to keep me out.
Today, however, I was surprised to see Blaine, of all people, punching at a punching bag. The bag didn't fly around like it did when Cerberus or Cain hit it, but it did bounce a little at the force. It was so surprising to see Blaine, his tiny little fae ass, kicking the shit out of the punching bag.
I reached for the handle, expecting it to be locked once again, but to my surprise, it clicked open and I walked in. Blaine looked up, steadying the punching bag before he relaxed at the sight of me.
"Oh, it's you," he said disinterestedly as he adjusted the punching bag and went to look at an electronic tablet on a nearby table. I frowned.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Exercising," Blaine said with a sigh, then paused at my weird stare and raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"I just don't picture you lifting a finger," I replied dryly. Blaine snorted as if the idea amused him too and I watched him walk over to pick up a water bottle, then several huge chugs before he turned to me.
"I'm married to the great Cerberus with four children. Plus, Hades is my father-in-law. Of course I need to know how to kick ass and take names. I'd never survive in this family if I didn't," he explained after he was done, then gave a shrug and put away his water bottle before he went over to one of the exercise mats and started to do some stretches.
"Would you like to join me?" Blaine asked suddenly, making me blink.
"Me? Why me?"
"Because you look bored and I need company that doesn't feel me up every time I do downward dog," Blaine deadpanned. I snorted at that.
"I'll change and be right back," I said. Blaine nodded. I ran off to my room and changed into something more suitable for a work out before I came running back to see that Blaine was getting out some barbells and setting them on the mat in front of him.
"I'm surprised you'd let me in here," I said as I came over. Blaine glanced up.
"Why? Don't you spend a lot of your time here anyway?"
"No. Hades locks me out of the training areas so I don't undo all his so-called healing," I muttered as I came to stand next to him. Blaine paused for a moment to study me before he shrugged and bent down to lift up the barbells.
"Anything to ruffle that god's feathers," he replied, making me smirk, "Though, don't think I'm going to let you get carried away with hundred pound weights or some shit. I grabbed you some eights and we can work up from there."
"Eight," I said in disbelief. Back before my life went to hell, I could bench press twice my weight and that was saying something considering I used to be huge.
"Eight," Blaine repeated. I rolled my eyes, but didn't argue because at least he was letting me in here to do something, anything, that wasn't eating or walking or sleeping. I bent down and strangely found it a little hard to pick up the weights. I glanced at Blaine out of the corner of my eye, but he had his eyes closed like he was giving me the privacy to struggle on my own. I looked at his eights, which he hefted with no problem, then back down at mine. I frowned, then took a deep breath and summoned what strength I had.
I heaved the eights up and for a moment, I lost my breath because it was a bit difficult, but in a fun way. It was challenging.
Finally.
"You look comfortable with weights," Blaine commented as I started to lift and lower the weights carefully to avoid injuring myself.
"I used to workout all the time back at the compound," I muttered, watching the veins in my arms stiffen, my muscles pulling taut, but in the most pleasurable way.
"Hades tells me you used to be pretty big," Blaine said, "You're still tall, but you're too skinny. You need to eat more."
"Don't have an appetite," I said under my breath. Blaine frowned.
"That's not good. What have you been eating?"
"It's not really any of your business."
"Don't take that tone with me," Blaine said immediately, lowering his weights and moving to put his hands on his hips so he could glare at me, "What have you been eating? Don't leave anything out."
"It's none of your business," I repeated, then paused because for some reason, Blaine's glare was kind of creepy, like he was not going to hesitate to throw me out the nearest window, which was a weirdly threatening look coming from a tiny fae, "Just porridge, lots of protein and fats or whatever."
"Hm. Is it a wide variety?"
"Not really. Like I said, porridge, rice, some shredded chicken. Lots of bland shit."
"No wonder you don't want to eat. Who gets excited about bland shit?"
"Apparently my stomach is too sensitive for anything else."
"We'll see about that," Blaine said, then paused to scan me up and down as I lifted, "You're doing well, but you might want to put those down after this next rep."
"What? Why?"
"Because your muscles are quivering," Blaine said, coming over to place his hand on my arm as I finally lowered the weights with a bursting gasp of relief to finally be done, "You did good for your first time back in a gym, but do not push it. Hades is right; if you push yourself, you'll undo everything they've done to heal you this far. Let's take a break. Maybe get a bite to eat."
"No way," I said, though I did lower the weights to the floor and stepped back to take a break at the sweat pouring down my temples, "I'm not going to eat and I'm definitely not going to eat with Lucy and Hades in the same room." Blaine stared at me, laughed a little, then shook his head.
"No, both of them together have a tendency to reduce one's appetite. However, it just so happens this big ass house they call a fuckin' house has more than one kitchen, so we can easily avoid the parental units," he explained, making me raise an eyebrow. I followed him as he headed out of the room. I glanced back at the gym, feeling this little ache and it wasn't from my arms, but the ache to be back in there doing something, something physical, something useful.
"So what, you gonna make me special porridge? You gonna add blueberries to it?" I asked dryly, which made Blaine snort. We entered the kitchen that was part of the guest wing and Blaine went right to the fridge to poke around.
"Nope, we're gonna do one of my personal favorites," he said, then turned around to reveal he had packed a tray full of ingredients, "We're going to make chicken and waffles." I stared at him as he went to the counter to start setting up his ingredients.
"Chicken and waffles?" I asked, confused. What a strange combination. I was picturing a lone dry chicken breast sitting on top of a flattened waffle and doused in that syrup stuff. It made me cringe, but Blaine was shaking his head as if to deny the image I'd conjured up.
"I know it sounds weird, but just work with me on this one. Get me a mixing bowl and a paper bag."
"A paper bag? What is this, a school lunch?"
"Shut your smartass mouth and get your ass over here before I throw you over my knee and spank you like the child that you are," Blaine commanded. I glared at him, tempted to throw his shit on the floor, but for some insane reason, I did what he said and fished the shit he needed out of the cupboards and put them on the counter. Blaine nodded, then went to a drawer and got out a couple of aprons, making me scowl as he tied his on and handed one to me.
"I don't cook," I said. Blaine stared at me.
"Well, you're about to."
"Yeah, but--"
"Here's the thing with food," Blaine said, making me frown, "You give a man a fish, he eats for a day. You teach him how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime. So shut up. Stand there. And let me teach you how to fish." I scowled, but said nothing as Blaine set everything up and started to bark orders like a goddamn drill sergeant. He reminded me of Micah, except he was a lot cuter when he was mad.
I had no idea why this guy was doing this. He didn't have to. He didn't know me. He didn't need me. So why was he showing me how to make my own food? Normally I would've told him to fuck off, but one of my main issues with food was that I didn't trust it, and it made sense that I'd trust myself more than anyone else to prepare my food, so it made sense to show me how to do it.
I'd just never thought in a million years I'd be cooking my own food, though.
I'd also had no idea that so much went into cooking food. He was using all sorts of seasonings, especially when he made the coating for his fried chicken. He mixed everything up in the paper bag, gave it a good healthy shake to coat everything, then put everything in a cast iron pot full of hot oil.
"Ryk said that a lot of oil and fried shit wasn't good for me," I said, making Blaine scoff.
"Yeah, sure, the oil's not good, but how else am I supposed to fry chicken? Listen, kid, healthy food like salads and porridges are good when you're really down and out, but you can still taste and you want to taste good things that fill you up properly. Chicken and waffles probably isn't what the doctor ordered, but it's what the chef ordered and that's what we're eating."
I was still skeptical, but the further into the recipe we got, the more things started to make sense. The fried chicken was salty and greasy, but the waffles were light and fluffy so the contrasting textures and flavors were pretty cool. The chicken was a good source of protein and the waffles were a good heavy weight in my stomach.
We finished and I was intent to sit at the table and eat, but Blaine made us put it on a plate so it looked all fancy and I was kind of surprised.
"Wow, that looks kinda sexy," I said, admiring his plating, "I never thought I'd say that about cooking."
"Food is incredibly sexy," Blaine replied, picking up one of his chicken legs and biting into it with a nice satisfying crunch, "Oh man, that's good." I watched him dredge his chicken through the syrup that he proceeded to plop a bit of waffle, eating it all in one mouthful. I did the same and bit into the food and I suddenly felt like I was being blown miles away. There was such an array of flavors in my mouth. I chewed it up and swallowed, then waited a moment before taking another bite.
"You don't like it?" Blaine asked, but I shook my head.
"It's not that. I just don't trust myself not to puke right away. I gotta eat slowly," I said drolly. Blaine nodded.
"Makes sense, especially for a big meal like this. Take your time. I don't have anywhere to be."
"You don't have to stay with me."
"No, I guess I don't." But he didn't leave. Strangely, Blaine stayed with me the entire hour it took for me to eat my food. By the end of it, I was pleasantly surprised by how full I was and even more so by how tired I was.
"I'm stuffed," I mumbled, "I think I need to go to bed."
"Take your time," Blaine said, then paused as he picked up both our plates, "Actually, I'll walk you to your room."
"It's whatever, I can do it myself--"
"Sit down. Let me just load up the dishwasher," Blaine said, making me raise an eyebrow. For a fae, he was certainly fucking bossy, but he didn't seem to care and did exactly what he said, loading up the dishwasher with everything and turning it on before we departed and headed back for my room.
"The food was good," I mumbled. Blaine glanced at me, then looked away.
"Yeah. No problem, kid. Just take it easy and get plenty of rest. It might piss you off to hear that a thousand times a day, but there's a reason people keep saying it. Get your rest. Ease yourself back into working out. Don't go too crazy, and make sure you stick with high protein, high fat foods. And don't stay in bed all day. I know it's hard to find shit to do with all the rain, but maybe if you behave, Cerberus or someone will take you into town," he explained. I looked at him.
"You honestly think they'll let me go into town?"
"Eventually," Blaine admitted, then paused as we stood outside my bedroom door, "But be patient. I know you want to jump back in the saddle, but the saddle isn't going anywhere. So give it time."
"It's been months."
"It's been two months. You experienced some severe trauma. That shit isn't easy to get over," Blaine said, then looked away, "Fucking trust me. Anyway. Take care of yourself. I probably won't see you again tomorrow as I have to get back to my own chaotic brood, but I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of each other in the future." Without another word, Blaine walked away and I turned and went into my room, sighing in frustration.
Yeah, sure, trauma, but why was it so hard to push past?
Surely it wasn't that bad.
Though, my nightmares begged to differ.
I thought I'd be fine. I had a belly full of food and I was drowsy. Surely it would be a nice deep sleep with no dreams, no nightmares, but of course, it was none of what it was supposed to be. It was hard to get a full night's rest when my brain was filled with screams and torture, of which I did not understand.
At least, not at first.
But that night as I laid in bed and immediately fell asleep, my nightmares began to make more sense. I recognized the cell back in Atlantis, where someone sent by the Mother had come to fetch me and put me in the dungeons where I was proceeded to be tortured by not only the one sent to fetch me, but two other people. I only heard the names Eilon and Cyrus, but I didn't recognize either of those names. The third guy was somehow familiar, even though I'd never seen his face, even though I'd never heard his name, there was something familiar in the way he touched me in my nightmares, the way he spoke to me. I'd heard this male's voice before. Cold and mechanical. I'd felt his hands on me before and every time I started to get close to guessing who it was, I would wake up with a start.
That night, I woke up in a cold sweat, my eyes flying open and a soft gasp leaving my lips.
I blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the darkness around me.
Something felt strange.
Something felt off.
The moment my eyes opened, I felt it. There was something unsettled in the house.
An intruder.
I sat up slowly and leaned forward, listening to the silence of the house around me. The only sound was the soft hum of electronics, from my alarm clock to my phone to the TV to the furnace that kept the palace warm. And yet I couldn't shake that feeling that someone was in the building who did not belong here.
I pushed the blankets back and slowly slid out of bed, moving across the cold marble floor with bare feet as I approached the door to the hallway. I stood there for a moment, listening to the silence in the hall before I cracked the door and pulled it open slowly to reveal an empty hallway.
I frowned and stepped out, looking up and down the empty halls only dimly lit by the wall sconces.
There was definitely someone in the house.
The prickling sensation continued a path up my spine to the back of my head as I turned and started to head down the hallway toward the stairs. I came to the top and looked down at the same time someone stepped out from around the corner and for a split second, I was tight with anxiety until I realized it was Ryk, dressed in all black and a hood pulled up over his head.
He looked up when he saw me and stiffened.
"Four, what are you doing up?" He asked. I scowled.
"What are you doing sneaking around at night?" I asked. He frowned.
"I was not sneaking."
"You look like you just went on a panty raid. I'd say that's kinda sneaky," I said. Ryk raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to tell me exactly what he thought of my opinion, except I saw movement behind him and my eyes widened. Ryk's did too. He whirled around in time for a dagger to go sailing through the air at his face, but he deflected it fast, taking a few steps back towards the stairs.
"Four, run!" He ordered, turning to face his attacker, who was just out of my point of view.
"Like fuck," I exclaimed, moving to go down the stairs, but the attacker seemed to completely forget Ryk when I came into view. He went charging for me up the stairs and I immediately shot back up the stairs with a gasp, my heart jumping into my throat. My instinct was to go barreling down the stairs and kill him, but I barely weighed more than a fucking weight ball, so what the hell made me think I could take this guy on?
At the same time, there was a fire lit inside me the moment that asshole came up the stairs at me. Who the fuck did this asshole think he was breaking into this place late at night, attacking these people, attacking me?
The guy reached me before I could make up my damn mind and he went to haul me down the stairs, but the moment he grabbed me by the back of my neck, something flashed in front of my eyes. An image of some kind, a memory, of someone grabbing me by the back of the neck and throwing me at the cobblestoned cell that had become my home after my stint in Atlantis.
I gasped and whirled around, grabbing onto his arm to stop him, but it did absolutely nothing to prevent him from throwing me up against the wall. I gasped again, in pain this time as my head collided with the wall. I swung my fist around to hit him, but he blocked and slammed his fist up into my gut. I choked at the abrupt searing pain and doubled over, collapsing on the stairs.
"Four!" Ryk barked and he took his chance to leap on the attacker's back while he was distracted by me. I grunted, peering up as Ryk managed to tackle the guy to the ground at the bottom of the stairs.
Suddenly, the lights got bright and there were voices coming from the hallways. Ryk looked up, and so did the attacker, who cursed, then slugged Ryk in the face before he took off running down the hallway. Ryk snarled in pain at the attack and shoved himself to his feet, sprinting after the guy. I intended to go with them, but I couldn't lift myself up. I groaned, collapsing back down on the steps. I heard more voices. It sounded like the family was awake and ready to take on whoever had infiltrated their home.
"Oh fuck, oh god, Four!" I had no idea who'd spoken because strangely, my ears were buzzing and there was an odd sensation of panic roiling up in my gut. I stared down the stairs, feeling someone's hands on my shoulders and jerked my head up with an alarmed gasp to see Lucy looking down at me.
"Four? Can you hear me? Look at me," Lucy ordered. I blinked a few times, confused why he was so upset, until I felt his hands on my gut and I looked down, unsure why he was so concerned about getting punched in the stomach, until I realized there was blood all over my hands and I looked up at him.
"What the fuck?" I managed, hands slipping with blood. Lucy cursed and shoved my hands out of the way to place his hands over the wound and he looked up where Cerberus was racing around the corner with Cain.
"Get Hades," Lucy ordered, "Lock down the perimeter! Nobody leaves!" Cerberus jerked his head in a nod and bolted down the hallway. I watched him go, confused, before looking down at where Lucy appeared to be trying to heal me.
"W-What the fuck--"
"It's alright, Four, I got you."
"Lucy, what..." My voice trailed before I could say or do anything. My vision blurred and I mumbled something that sounded like get the asshole before I slumped forward with my face firmly planted in Lucy's chest.