The Hermitcraft Plays

By EmberDragon34

4.8K 493 745

This is going to be so much fun to write... Book 1: Joe wrote a play And now the hermits are performing it Bo... More

The play begins
Uhh... it's not going well
3: So... everyone's learning their lines, right?
4: no one wants to be a tree
Chapter 5: The Tree-sistance
the greatest betrayal in history
Ch 7: Everything's going wrong
8- the tree-ty
The mess that was: the Dress Rehearsal
The play itself
THE HERMIT CHRISTMAS PLAY
1: Play 2 electric boogaloo
2: Scene 1... probably
3: Freeze and frogs
4: Keralis
5: whoever has the script plays the role...
6: The Convex Christmas Play
7: Chaos. A lot of chaos.
8: blocking, and Jimmy's scene
9: Scene Nein (and scene 10)
10: The final battle
11: Resistance
12: The Plan™️
13: The Great Hermit Role Switch 2022
14: Everyone is director (except Joe)
15: Character building
16: Further Rehearsals
17: Snow
18: How not to learn lines
20: Costumes
21: Almost a full run through
22: Shenanigans
23: Scariah Carey
24: The Stress Rehearsals
25: The Hermit Christmas Play
THE 3RD HERMIT PLAY
1: Role credits
2: The start
4: Loot and Scoot
3: Directed
5: The Hermit Moosical
6: The inevitable return of Scariah Carey
7: anarchy.

19: Freeze

56 9 5
By EmberDragon34

The snow, that had mostly been ignored the day before in favour of watching Joe grow increasingly angry at not learning lines, had become very dangerous and icy by the third day. No one apparently minded, and rehearsals couldn't be cancelled again, since time was running out to create something good enough and they needed all the time they could spare. 

'Right, today we're going to skip over a couple scenes and work on scene 10... we've gone over scene 7 and 9 to improve the choreography enough, and all scene 8 needed was better personality for the toys, which is improving. But first, we should get in a round or two of freeze, since we're all need a bit of a game once in a while, and quite frankly, I'm too tired to work on scenes all the time... get in a circle... Stress and Iskall you start.'

'We're looking after General Gorgeous!' Insisted the Ice-Queen. The snowman was looking a little worse for wear, but had gained a golden carrot nose and still held the personality of the beloved derpy boi.

'Well, no one's going to hurt him while you're doing your scene... get in the circle and begin.'

'Alright...' The pair obeyed, and began the scene.

'Oh no!' Iskall started. 'My... carrots!'

'Your carrots?'

'It's so omega bad!'

'What happened to the carrots?' 

'They were... eaten! By the omega bunnies... of doom!' To which Tango started cackling with laughter. 

'Oh no! The omega bunnies of doom!'

'TANGO! SHHH!'

'Can we stop them?'

'I don't know, but we need to do something...'

'Freeze!' Grian yelled, then pushed Mumbo into the circle. 'He's replacing Stress.'

'Sure.' 

'What's going on?' The moustached fellow blinked back.

'Hallo, Mumbo!' Iskall began regardless.

'Hello, Iskall?'

'Let's make a new mega shop!'

'What?' 

'Yeah, we can call it... Everest.'

'Ok? Why are we deciding that here?'

'It's a game, Mumbo! We've been playing it for ages!'

'Can I go back to fixing the redstone?'

'No, freeze!' Grian took Iskall's place. 'Mumbo, the moon's going to crash into the server again!'

'What?!' 

'We need to dig a hole out of the world!'

'Boatem hole!' Scar declared excitedly. 'Yes!'

'O... k... Joe can we... stop this?'

'Fine. Jevin replace Mumbo.' The highly reluctant slime entered the stage, sighing.

'Oh no... there's a vicious swamp monster that's going to kill us...' He began in a monotone. Grian crossed his arms. 'It's attacking us! And now we're both dead. Done.' 

And with that, Jevin left the stage.

'Let's just get on with scene 10...'

They met Mumbo back at the stage, where he had rather successfully reconstructed the set system, including several anti-Grian measures that should've really been in place before. 

'Great! Can you change it to the set for scene 10? That's the last set of the 8.'

'8 different sets...' Ren sung quietly,

'7 trapped toys.'

'6 main protagonists.'

Everyone looked to Hypno and Beef, who were debating whether to shout or not.

'FIVE VILLAGERS!'

'I love knowing you're practicing the song, but can you do it quieter and not when we're figuring out set pieces!' Joe burst out.

'4 side villains.' Cleo mouthed.

'3.'

'Dumb.'

'Men.' 

'Two Christmas Vexes,'

'And Etho dressed as a Christmas Tree!'

The group silently applauded themselves, while the set was successfully changed to the last one. 

'Right, everyone in this scene onstage, with no scripts.' Joe added as he saw Scar turning to the right page of his.' The scene was very quickly set, and then began. 

'Is this the right place?' Pearlie started, pretending to be cold

'The map says we need to get through here and we're in those vexes' territory...'

'This is the Ice-Queen's place.' Bellsknight gasped back. 'She must be working with the Christmas Vexes!'

'FREEZE!' Came a very dramatic yell from Stress

'YOU FREEZE!' Improvised Wels back, partially in shock

'WHAT IS FREEZE?' Added Zedaph, prompting Grian to literally walk onstage.

'Well, freeze is a game Joe makes us play where we stand in a circle making up dialogue showing which of us can or can't act.' 

'GRIAN!' Joe bellowed

'What are you doing here?' Stress crossed her arms. Grian looked at her,

'I'm answering Zed's question.'

'No, that's literally my next line, luv.' Laughed Stress, and Grian joined in. Ren pushed past and continued on.

'We're on our way to find the Christmas Vexes and save Christmas... Can you let us through and get there.' By this point, Joe had successfully dragged Grian off the dangerously icy stage and he crashed onto the ground with a yell.

'Ow.' Was all he said.

'Sorry, luvs, but the palace is closed.'

'Then we'll have to fight you.' Wels drew a sword, and Ren growled.

'By the power of skidoodle you will be killed!' Tango declared

'What is skidoodle?' Zed asked as a warcry. Tango and Impulse both looked at him.

'Well, skidoodle is... it's... skidoodle means...' Tango attempted to find an answer. 'It means skidoodle.' 

'The skidoodle guides us to all our actions. And right now they're saying to kill!' 

Which Bells replied to by running at Stress with his sword raised. The ice queen stood her ground. 

'You're going to DIE!' And then she stabbed Bells.

'Bells! No!' Cried Rendolf, running to where their faithful companion had fallen dramatically, dying. 'How could you!' 

'Rendolf, calm down.'

'LET US THROUGH!'

'No.'

A pause.

'Scar!' 

'Sorry! You evil humans think you can get past to kill us? Well... you're wrong!'

'It's that Christmas vex again!' Cried Rendolf. 'Show yourself! And fight us!'

Scar decided to show himself by eating an Elven Kiss, but this promptly backfired when he ended up inside the redstone for the set. 

'Hang on... this might take a moment...' A few more gone, and he emerged again, just climbing onto the stage and not knowing his line.

'Oh no! It's the evil Christmas Vex!' Gasped Ren instead.

'Yes! I am evil! And I will kill all of you!'

A few people clapped as the scene ended. Grian just gave another louder 'ow!', still badly hurt from crashing off the stage. 

'Grian, Scar, Stress, how are the costumes going?'

'They're...' Grian pulled himself into a sitting position, wings at a strange angle behind him. 'They're good enough to show tomorrow if we go and work on the last few bits now.' 

'Yeah, great. And in the meantimes, we can actually work on Scene 8.' Scar and Stress, the fellow costume designers, helped Grian walk a bit, before Cub passed over a much-appreciated healing potion, and they all took off, leaving the least-learnt scene behind them. 

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