Sorin stared at Copper blankly, keeping his mouth shut. He didn't like it when Copper was stern with him, because he knew it meant he'd done something horribly wrong. It was even worse that Copper didn't know what this "horribly wrong" thing was yet.
"Look, I know you're not in the mood right now but... you have been acting distant all week. I know it's a bit weird with Sabre back, but..."
"Weird is stretching it. You remember what we went through, right?", Sorin snapped back. He wanted Copper to leave as quick as possible. Damn when he visits.
"Of course I do." Copper pinched his nose, sighing. He knew Sorin wasn't doing okay and understood to respect his boundaries, but he couldn't just not notice how items just began appearing, or how the knives Sorin had were getting sharper, "But you act- You're- You're acting like-"
"Acting like what, what?! Like I'm insane?!-" Sorin snapped back with a tone Copper rarely heard. It was a strange one. It was mixed with desperation and malice, but begging and sadness. Sadness, yet anger. Malice, yet panic. Copper could only guess what Sorin was thinking.
"No but-"
"Copper, I'm trying to keep us safe!"
"SAFE FROM WHAT?!-" Copper didn't mean to yell, but he knew his friend was doing something wrong. Whatever it was, Copper knew Sorin could get in trouble for it. Would he? Copper couldn't quite know, he never really saw many criminals be arrested. It was only things that threatened the leaders or Sabre. Sometimes Sabre. Copper did remember how Sabre was exiled twice.
Whatever it was, Sorin didn't respond, he just paused and glared at Copper. His eyes were filled with animosity, one that was barely held back from causing damage. Real damage.
Copper cautiously held his hands up, and began to blurt out his apologies, his "I didn't mean that" and his "I'm sorry" as Sorin stared blankly. He knew Copper didn't mean it, that he was just frustrated. Why wouldn't he be? Sorin was making it harder for everyone in his life, although that wasn't many people.
because he deserves to rot and die and be forgotten in a ditch as the outpost burns to the ground
"I know Copper." Sorin said it bluntly, as if it was an automated response, "I'm just...". Hurt? Dull? Insane? None of these options would make Copper go away, but if Sorin lied Copper would catch on. Neither of these choices made Sorin feel relaxed, he felt like his muscles were being pulled so tensely together that they'd rip into shreds.
"I-I just..."
If he told him, Copper would turn him in. Then Sorin would die (although that wasn't that bad, was it?)
"I'm-"
Say something say something
"C-Copper I-" He felt like every fiber, every floorboard, every block and material that covered his house had grown eyes and began to stare deeply into him, seeing the bonfire inside him and cheering for it to burn his guts.
talk
The fire grew, then began to die. Sorin began to scream,
talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk ta
/
M tapped his foot onto the wooden ground, trying to remain certain that Sabre was fine right now. He knew that Sabre was more than capable of handling himself, and he'd specifically told M he needed space, but M didn't know how much and for how long.
So there he was, standing outside the living room door like an idiot and trying to figure out if this wasn't a stupid idea.
It's been an hour and two minutes now.
M sighed, exhaled, and opened the door. It was a pleasant surprise to see Sabre resting on the couch, despite still feeling groggy he seemed to be somewhat peaceful. The soup bowl was gone, and M assumed the Assistant had gotten rid of it after Sabre finished it.
"H-Hey... has it been long enough?"
Sabre perked up from M's voice, and took a moment to spot him from across the room to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Once he did, he smiled a bit.
"Yeah. You can come over." M perked up from that statement and made his way across the room. It was about the same as when he left, the sun shined in and covered the floorboards, and M silently noted to close the curtains from how ungodly bright it was.
He made his way across the room and sat next to Sabre as he reached a hand up to shut the curtains. The bright rays of sunlight faded as he did so.
"So..." M tried to talk about anything but Sabre's panic attack, but he found he didn't know what to say. Sabre seemed to understand, taking a quick inhale then resting on M's shoulder. His hands gripped M's sleeves as he shakily inhaled.
"You don't have to-"
"No, it's okay. I-... I'm not sure if I want to talk about why that happened yet but..." Sabre paused to try and find his words, unintentionally worrying M more, "Sometimes I have these.. When I get like that, I- Time called them 'nonverbal episodes'. When I get like that, everything just gets overwhelming. I feel like I'm drowning in my own emotions."
Sabre began fidgeting with M's coat, still clinging to it. He didn't look up at M, and M didn't force it. He sat there, and patiently waited for Sabre to continue. He didn't know if that was the best thing to do, but he didn't quite know what to do with this. He never really was good with mental health.
"... Like it sounds, I just can't bring myself to talk in situations like those unless I need to. Time knew how to deal with it... he'd ask simple 'yes or no' questions to try and figure out what to do. If I was okay with being touched, if I could move, all that..."
Then Sabre stopped, and clung a little more onto M. M waited a few seconds to see if Sabre had any more to say, and just before M spoke, Sabre cut him off.
"I miss him. I really do miss him..."
Sabre sniffed, and suddenly yanked M closer for a hug. M was surprised by the sudden action, but he fell into it nonetheless. Sabre pulled M's jacket closer, hugged him, clung to him like a lifeline, and M began to think Sabre wasn't trying to imagine M as M right now.
In attempts to let him feel safe, to feel happy, M held on a bit tighter. It was barely much firmer, just barely enough to make the sleeves of M's jacket turn by a centimeter and new wrinkles to appear on it. Nonetheless, M let that tad of firmness hold onto Sabre, to bring a bit more warmth onto his skin.
"D-Do... Do you think he'd be mad at me? That I.."
"No. Never." M affirmed, bringing a hand up to run it through Sabre's knotted hair, "He couldn't ever be upset at you, not like you think he would be. It isn't because of you. You both did what you needed to do, and he'll come back one day."
The old, slight memory M had leaked in, a memory of Light entering M's house, finally telling him everything that had happened to Sabre and Time. M remembered how he'd seen a tear in Light's eye- just a single one- as he spoke about it. M remembered the horror he felt as Light explained it all, how he'd realized how Sabre slipped away too quickly for him to see.
He let that memory fade from his brain as Sabre's cries grew ever-so-slightly louder. He mumbled something, some sort of plea, but M didn't quite catch it. He hesitated to ask what he said, but he didn't want Sabre to think he was ignoring him now. Yet M's mouth was dry nonetheless, and he feared what to do next.
The world seemed to float around them, like for once, it gave them the mercy of a moment. A moment to relax, to be there for each other. It was fine, it was all M wanted. Sabre seemed to accept the same too, and tried to shove his cries back down his throat so M could just relax, so he didn't have to worry about him anymore.
It seemed like an impossible task, because every attempt Sabre made to stop crying only worsened it. So he clung to M and stained his jacket with his worthless tears.
"It's alright to cry, Sabre."
"It's okay to cry."
Time held Sabre tenderly, rubbing his back. It was warm, but the outside was cold and dark. It'd been evening. Sabre had been crying. He'd been useless again, and who else did he have to blame for it?
No one but himself, of course. Yet Time remained there, every minute of it even if he was being a crybaby. Time took care of him, knew enough to let him take care of himself but was somehow just... there when Sabre buckled under everything. It made him wonder if he did something wrong, or if it was just Time being Time.
Sabre began to wonder that again as M tried to comfort him. He did everything right, didn't he? Why did everything hurt now? It was just because he'd been drugged right?
It wasn't the first friend he'd lost, but it hurt so much more and Sabre had a million reasons why it did. Who Time was, what he did for him, and the fact he wasn't technically dead. It'd been months since Sabre first left, which meant Time's been separated for months. Ripped into pieces. Alone.
It didn't matter how much M held Sabre, or what he said. Nothing stopped the feeling of a part of his heart being ripped into shreds, hoping a piece would reach Time and comfort him.
No matter what anyone did, Sabre knew Time was still out there suffering. All because of him.
/
It'd taken a while for M to leave Sabre alone during the night, constantly checking to see if he was okay without directly saying it. Sabre didn't complain much, it was annoying but eventually M caught on Sabre didn't really need anything right now, besides occasionally a bowl of fruit or a snack.
The night had fallen, and Sabre thought back to when he had first arrived back. Hopefully he didn't end up bothering M for the thirteenth time that night.
Sabre heard something thunk against the windows, and sat up to look. However, through the dull night, he couldn't see a thing. He sighed, choosing to not investigate it. He was tired, and his headache was coming back. The professor told him he couldn't take any medicine for another few hours, but he really began to wonder if just one pain pill would hu-
THUNK!
That got his attention. Sabre groaned and got up from the couch, slowly walking to the window to see if anything was different. The golden light illuminated the window and the outside of it, and Sabre could see a few rocks lying outside it.
It was slightly unnerving, and Sabre stared out the window a minute longer to see if anyone was out there. He couldn't see anyone, and he was not going to open the window right now. It was probably just some silly kid.
He made sure to lock the window, and went back down on the couch to rest. The night fled by, and Sabre looked at the time. It'd been long enough.
Sabre went upstairs to the bathroom, grabbing some of the pills and taking a few with some water. He couldn't wait for this all to be over, he'd had enough drugs for one day. He sighed as he shut the door, at least the pajamas M gave him look comfortable.
Although, once he was done, Sabre paused to look in the mirror. A weird sense of euphoria came over him, maybe it was because of the pills but he liked how he looked. He didn't need to wear a binder or anything like that anymore. He was just himself. He liked it like that here.
For a minute, he just stared. Then finally took off his blindfold, which more just acted like an eyepatch now as it only covered one of his eyes, and the huge scar on the left side of his face. He'd gotten it from the Demon Void fight (Yet another 'friendly trinket' Void had left behind for him.)
Sometimes he wished he could just wash his face a bit and all of those scars and damages could just go down the drain as well, yet he knew if that was possible he would've done it so long ago. Now, it was weird. He knew it still wasn't possible, but he grew a weird attachment to it. It'd be weird to see his face now without half of it dried out and red.
Speaking of weirdness, he needed to sleep. Sleep like he did last night. Sabre tried not to think about it, the professor had told him the medicine he took at night would be different. Something something long term effects while sleeping and something something drowsiness.
The drowsiness didn't help with the looming anxiety of that happening again. He fidgeted for a moment, and considered going to M's room before shrugging that opportunity away. He'd be fine, he wasn't twelve.
"M, I'm heading to bed!" Sabre called down the hallway to M as he walked back down the stairs. Sabre was glad M didn't offer anything like staying in his old house, because Sabre didn't want to sleep alone, in a small house, away from the main kingdom, when someone was stalking him.
Stalking? Sabre didn't really know that yet. They might just be a weirdo. A weirdo who broke into his house stole his stuff, drugged him and is probably there inside his house right now. It made Sabre's skin crawl knowing someone might be there.
He turned the lights off behind him, one by one, and lit up a lantern as he rested by the table. He didn't like the pitch dark, so the lantern gave him a bit of comfort. Besides, the assistant stood in the living room doorway, faintly glowing and letting small red and green lights illuminate the room.
As Sabre laid down on the couch, letting drowsiness overtake his eyelids.
However, as he did so, he heard another clank on the window. Sabre froze, and squinted a bit to look at the window. To his horror, he saw something outside, blocking the moonlight. Sabre didn't move, he just stared at the window. His blood was frozen under his skin.
They clinked at the window, and stared at Sabre. Sabre knew they were staring, their head was tilted at him, then it looked to the Assistant. The air felt as if it went still as he pulled something out, and Sabre squinted to try and see what it was.
Click!
A quick flash shined through the window, and Sabre squeezed his eyes shut from it. Silence, a few quick bangs, then more silence. Sabre opened his eyes again.
They were gone.