I woke and began getting dressed. After talking about my flight arrangements on the phone with Roland I had an hour and a half left. I had just enough time to go to my house, grab my things and have Roland pick me up. Just as I was slipping into my shoes, Maggi winced behind me, and then rolled on her side.
“Be easy, you’re going to be sore the first time” I smiled.
“I embrace the pain, even when you had to pull the condom out of me” she grinned, propping her head up on her elbow.
I turned around, leaned down, kissed her lips and got up from the bed.
“Will you call me when you get there?” Maggi asked.
“Every damn day” I replied, pulling my damp shirt over my head.
Maggi giggled as she sat up on the bed.
“So, you’re in, we’re going to make this work?” I questioned.
Maggi nodded happily as she bit her bottom lip.
“I have to go” I said, as I turned and headed for the window.
Maggi followed behind me with the bedsheets wrapped around her body. I kissed her once more before dashing out the window and across the rooftop.
**************************************
“Where the fuck have you been?” Dad’s voice barreled at me, as I was pulling my bags out of the closet under the stairs.
I got home and gotten dressed in a charcoal gray, long-sleeved shirt, a black, denim, sleeveless vest, with black hood, a pair of dark brown gamer cargo pants and a new pair of black and white chuck converse. On the front of the chucks I wrote “Maggi’s eyes” and I’d placed one of her hair clips, that I’d grabbed from her dresser, on the shoelace. A gold one, with pale blue fluttering butterfly on it. The butterflies wings were on tiny springs, giving them the illusion of flapping.
“What?” I asked, looking at my dad as he descended the staircase.
“You ran off after graduation, where the fuck did you go? And what happened to you, did you get in a fight?” dad growled.
He paused at the bottom of the stairs when he noticed my suitcase, backpack and two duffel bags.
“Where are you going?” he frowned.
“I’m going to New York, now” I said.
“How, you have no money?” dad asked.
“Yes, I do” I said.
“From where, not that little bullshit coffee job” dad chuckled.
“I gave him money.”
Dad and I paused to see mom standing at the top of the stairs.
“Excuse me?” dad frowned.
“I gave him the money James” mom repeated as she started down the stairs.
“Who gave you the right?” dad snapped.
“He’s my son, I gave it to myself” mom informed as she stepped off the last step.
“He’s not going to New York” dad yelled.
“Why because you control him like you control me?” mom bit.
The words I’d said to her stung my heart once again. I didn’t realize how damaged their marriage was, they hid most of it so well from me.
“I should have never legally adopted you” Dad sneered, peering over his shoulder at me.
My eyes went wide in complete shock. Was he really not my dad? I’ve known this man my entire life, or at least as far back as I can remember. He was there when I learned to ride a bike, catch a ball, learned how to color and lost my first tooth. But he was also there to dish out all the spankings after all of the said events. He spank me when I crashed my bike into his rose bush. He spank me when I threw the ball back and sent it slamming into his cup of beer spilling it all over him. And who can forget the spanking I received after the pretty Picasso I left on the living room wall. This man was all I knew for as long as I knew, and he wasn’t my dad. A flood of mixed emotions flowed over my body. Nothing made sense anymore.
“Don’t tell him that” I heard mom spit and her hand came flying forward to slap dad, but he caught her at the wrist.
He gripped her wrist and twisted it. Mom let out a yelp, as he tossed her to the floor of the foyer. I…saw…fucking…red. Before I knew it my left fist was colliding with the right side of his jaw. He stumbled, tripped over the Roomba and hit the floor, knocking his head on the hall table on the way down. I looked down at mom who was rubbing her wrist.
“Mom?” I said softly, holding back sobs.
“Just go I’m okay, we’ll talk about it after you’ve gotten to New York” she insisted.
I gathered up my luggage and headed for the front door. I stopped and looked over my right shoulder.
“I love you mom” I muttered, tears welling in my eyes.
“I love you too baby” she whimpered lightly, giving me a weary smile.
I don’t think I’ve ever noticed before how tired my mom looked. Her forty-five years on this planet showed through the creases and crow’s feet that played across her face. It made me think about how you could cut open a tree and tell it’s age by the annual rings in the wood. I found myself at an ATM not far from my house. I’d texted Roland and told him to pick me up from there since I couldn’t drag my bags any further. The time was at the cusp of seven a.m. and it was starting to lighten outside. The ATM I found was near a small convenient store at the edge of downtown right near the woods. Downtown Juneau looked mostly like a ghost town. With the exception of a few shops turning on their lights to prepare for opening, the town was quiet.
I stuck my card into the machine and went through the process of withdrawing my money. My phone buzzed in my pocket as the ATM began spitting out the four thousand dollars that was left in my account. I pulled my phone out of my pocket; it was a text message from Roland, and strangely a message from Olivia as well. I swiped my phone open and went to Roland’s message. Suddenly, an unimaginable sharp pain shot through me from my lower back. Someone grabbed my hair and snatched my head back. I looked to see a man dressed in all black. Everything on him was covered except his eyes. With him was another man carrying a nice sized bag. They must have robbed one of the shops before opening and spotted me at the ATM. The other man quickly ran passed me and began grabbing my cash from the ATM’s chute.
“No!” I wailed, elbowing the man that was holding me in the stomach.
He buckled and released me and I ran for the other guy. I could feel pain all over my body and my lower back felt hot and sticky. I grabbed the other guy, pushing him with all my strength. He stumbled, spilling the money on the ground. I turned to retrieve my money, but was quickly met with the sting of the other robber’s large hunting knife. The heat of the blade burned as it pierced the left side of my abdomen. That explained the excruciating pain I felt earlier; I’d been stabbed in the back, and the warm stickiness was my blood. Panic and pain coursed through me as the robber thrust the blade deep, and then twisted it to the right. Well, there went my kidney and my small intestines. Blood was pooling from my mouth now as I tried to throw a punch. The robber weaved out of the way and let me hit the concrete flat on my stomach.
I lay there watching them gather up all the money before it blew too far away by the wind, and too many lights came on. Once they were finished, they gathered up their bag and one or two of mine and took off. They hopped over me and headed in the direction of the woods, but not without saying ‘Thanks kid’. I managed to push myself up with my palms. The concrete was and my shirt was swimming with my blood. My mouth and throw was so full with the oily metallic taste I felt as if I was drowning. I got onto my feet, holding my abdomen and staggered into the woods to chase down the robbers. That money was my only hope of getting the hell out of Alaska for good. The lights of town began to disappear behind me, as the tall trees grew thicker the deeper I went. Everything around me began to spin and there was so much blood in my mouth and stomach now I felt physically sick. I couldn’t hear the voices of the robbers anymore or hear their footsteps in the brush.
The pain finally became too much to bear. My knees went weak and I soon collapsed in the marsh. I lifted myself and crawled to a dry area, landing flat on my back. The sky seemed to get lighter as I lay there feeling my blood pour from my back into the water under me. I wanted everything to move, but, but my body was too weak now and I’d lost too much blood. Just as I closed my eyes to accept my fate, I heard it. A low rumbling growl in the bushes. I turned my head to the right to see a sandy brown colored wolf walking towards me. Just as it approached me, I blacked out.
I blinked my eyes open slowly. Pale darkness surrounded me, as my eyes darted from one side to the other; trying to squint and comprehend my surroundings. I was in a room, from what I could make out in the dark, the walls were wood. The room smelled of hickory smoke and rustic, galvanized metal. The only light showing in was from a cracked door across the way. The dim lit hallway let off an allure of creepy calm. Every few seconds the light in the hall would flicker. Showing evidence of its poor wiring. I’m in a log cabin, I thought to myself. I knew I needed to get out of there. I sat up in bed, tossing the comforter that once lay over my body.
I swung my legs around to the side of the bed and gasped. I was stark naked. Shoulders exposed, walnuts and wood just out in the air. No even socks. Had I been taken? Was this sex trafficking? Who took me? They could have at least let me keep my socks. My head started spinning, making my eyes feel like buoys in the ocean. I wondered what drug they’d given to sedate me longer, let along make me have that awful nightmare about turning into a wolf. I could see it clearly, me tearing through the woods out of panic. Running to the lake and seeing my reflection.
The dense red fur, the elongated muzzle, the intensity of the canines that had protruded from my lips. A wolf nonetheless, but still with my blue-green eyes. The only thing human left of me. The feeling of the wolf’s teeth, sinking deeply into my shoulder replayed in my head. The pain as they ripped into me, still all too real, but only a dream. I fainted immediately, but I was just waking up from an extreme fever dream. Fever, which was exactly what I felt like I had. And the migraine that followed, threatened to split my head in two. I could feel sweating pouring from the hairline on the back of my head and slowly rolling down my back. I reached to my left and grabbed the piped headboard to anchor myself until room stilled.
Something made a light clank sound, and then touched my hand. I looked and squinted in the darkness to see what the object was. My eyes widened at the horrifying realization. Hospital grade wrist and ankle restraints. Dangling from the bed was a long waist restraint. I climbed out of the bed, leaned against the wall, and covered my mouth to muffle my gasp. That was definitely my cue to leave. Draped over the headboard, was a white bath towel. I quickly grabbed it, tied it around my waist and dashed for the door. The bedroom door was an ash gray painted, sliding barn door. As quietly as I could I slid it aside and stuck my head out.
The outside of the door was setup for attaching a rather large padlock. What the…? I thought. The hallway was empty. Down the hall, to the right I could hear running water in a bathroom. Across from me were two other rooms. Both doors set up for padlocks as well. This was a living nightmare. I wondered where the kidnappers kept my clothes and my phone. I stepped cautiously out the door, and then slid it back to its original state. I started down the hallway as fast and as quietly as I could. I had to find a way out fast. I hit the staircase, taking them two steps at a time; trying to stay quiet.
It was strangely working. Something was different about me, I was quick, stealthy, agile. Any other day I’d be a loud clumping mess. Now I was moving like a cat in hiding and my feet felt padded. A noise in the kitchen caught my attention. I froze in my tracks at the bottom of the stairs. I was practically holding my breath, listening that the coast was clear as I looked across the front room. Once everything sounded clear I sighed. Suddenly, someone gripped a hand full of my hair.
“Hey?” he said in a loud, but gruff tone.
I panicked immediately, turned my body and elbowed the man in the chest. He yelped a little in pain, releasing my hair.
“MOSES!!” The man yelled, as I sprinted for the front door.
I slid to a stop in horror once I reached the door. A deadbolt, but…the other way around? The deadbolt was rigged on the door to use a key, from the inside, and there was no doorknob. The man reached for me again, but I ducked, sliding under his arms, and taking off to the right. In front of me was a door, and to my relief the doorknob was on the right way. Maybe I can lock it to buy me some time while I climb out a window, I thought. I ran full speed into the room; at this point two men were behind me. I slammed the door quickly behind me and turned the slanted lock on the doorknob. The two men were banging on the door now.
One sounded like he was continuously ramming it with his shoulder, while the other knocked with his fist and twisted the knob.
“Why is this one the only door that locks the right way?” One of the guys asked on the other side of the door.
“Because it’s my damn office, we’ve never had one run his ass in my office before” the other guy said.
As I looked around the room, it looked very neat and professional. It was almost cozy and quaint. I spotted a window behind the desk that was sitting in the center of the room. I ran over to it and snatched back the curtains. Bars? What is this place? I decided to see if maybe one of the bars could be loose and I could wriggle it out of its spot and slide through. There was an even louder bang from the door, and a piece of wood fell from the doorjamb. They were going to get in if I didn’t hurry. I reached and gripped the bars with both hands. Searing pain coursed through my palms. It felt as if someone stuck branding irons right into my hands.
The pain was like white hot fire to my skin. I could hear the slight sound of sizzling and see a tiny whisp of smoke rise from my hands. I yelped in pain as I let the bars go and staggered to the floor. I held my hands up and looked at them. A boiling red line of open flesh lay in my palms now, and with a matter of moments they closed themselves up as if they were never there. But I still felt the burning pain. I screamed at the top of my lungs and suddenly pain shot through my entire body. I could hear my bones snap and stretch. Excruciating pain shot through my entire face as my head began to mold and change shape.
The door of the office came flying open, more wood from the doorjamb hitting the floor. By this time, I was laying in the floor, exhausted and terrified as I looked at the enormous wolf paws that were once my hands. The guy who’d originally grabbed me entered the room first, looking over at the window.
“He touched the silver bars” he informed.
There was a loud thump, and the floor shook a little; it was like loud footprints. Thump…thump. I continued to lay in the floor and whimper. Too tired to move, too tired to process what was going on. I looked to see the light in the room cast a weird shadow in the doorway. I turned my body to try to get up on my newly formed four legs. Just as I raised up a little, a huge wolf entered the room and stood beside the man. It was massive, with sand colored fur and green eyes. The wolf looked down at me, his muzzle stern and overwhelming. I whimpered to ask, what the hell is happening to me? As if he read my mind, the man knelt beside me rocking on the ball of his feet.
“You’re a werewolf kid. I’m Rodney and that’s Moses, and we’re going to help you” the man explained.
It was just too much in one night, so I passed out again.
“Hearts?” I swallowed, my voice shaking.
“Yea” Moses replied softly.
He was sitting in a chair in his office, while Rodney leaned on the desk. Moses was tall, even taller than me. He had curly light brown hair and hazel eyes. He was built stocky, like a football jock. He was definitely someone you didn’t want to get tackled by. He looked maybe in his early to mid-thirties. The corners of his eyes were developing crow’s feet and the fine hairs in his hair line were graying. Rodney looked almost identical, only with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Both were dressed in flannel button downs and jeans.
“Like we eat human hearts?” I questioned.
“Well, technically we’ve tried to steer away from hurting people, so we feed off of animal hearts” Rodney explained.
“Like…chickens?”
“No, not like chickens. We stay away from people’s farm animals. More like deer, rabbit, and stray animals” Moses said.
“This…I mean…it’s a lot to process” I exhaled, looking down.
“I know it is, but after a while you’ll come to terms with it” Rodney said.
He pulled a set of keys from the pocket of his pants and began unlocking all the handcuffs. The moment I was free, I sent my right shoulder flying hard into Rodney’s torso, ramming him to the ground. Moses hopped up from his chair, but not fast enough to block my right hook from connecting with the left side of his face. He stumbled backwards, crashing into the desk, and cracking it a little.
“Who did this to me?” I growled.
I could feel my canines expand, protruding from behind my top lip. Even my nails expanded from my cuticles. Moses gripped the desk, his claws digging into the dark wood as he growled lightly; trying to compose the rage and the wolf in him.
“You did this didn’t you?” I growled, pointing to Moses.
Moses’ body quaked as he tried to control the wolf, his growl growing more aggressive. Suddenly, Rodney came out of nowhere, gripped the back of my head, lowered me down and kneed me in the stomach with what felt like all his strength. I let out a gag of pain as I dropped to my knees. With my left hand I held my midsection, while my right hand dug into the wood of the floor, my claws leaving deep marks. Rodney approached me, grabbed my head once more, and then punched me in the face. I hit the floor, blood pouring from my left nostril. I’d been in fights before, but Rodney’s fist felt like I’d collided with a concrete wall. He really rocked my shit.
“Rod, why did you do that?” Moses asked, leaning up from the desk once he’d gotten himself together.
“He pissed me off, plus he hit me first” Rodney scowled.
“Why did you do this to me?” I asked, laying on my back now, holding my nose with one hand and my midsection with the other.
Moses bent down over my head and looked down at me.
“You were dying” Moses informed.
“What are you talking about?”
“You were in the middle of the woods dying.”
“Wait, what? How?”
“Do you not remember what happened to you?”
I closed my eyes tight, trying hard to rewind my memory. I was drawing a blank.
“Anything?” Moses asked.
I shook my head attentively.
“You know some lycans have shown signs of losing traumatic memories after the change” Rodney informed. “Maybe that’s what happened to him.”
Moses shrugged.
“You got stabbed kid; you were bleeding out when I found you. You’d gone pale and your eyes were pleading for death” Moses explained.
“So, why not just let me die, why make me into this?” I asked, sitting up from the floor once my nose stopped bleeding.
I spit a little blood on the floor. The pain and impact from Rodney were already healing as I adjusted myself on the floor.
“Because you didn’t deserve to die. Stabbed and killed, for what a few grand?” Moses shrugged.
“That’s not your choice to make, you can’t play God with people” I yelled, hopping up from the floor.
I charged at Moses once more, but Rodney intercepted. He grabbed me around my throat and tossed me back so fast and so hard it was too late to comprehend what was happening. I hit the wooden wall with a slam, rocking any contents that were hanging from it. I fell from the wall and hit the floor with a loud thud, a few things from the wall falling along with me. I was pissed now; I got up from the floor, teeth bared and claws out. There was something vibrating and rippling through me, as I stood into a crouching stance. My growl rumbled through the small room, shaking the floor underneath us. Rodney took a defensive stance, while Moses looked worried.
Moses stepped beside Rodney and put a hand on his shoulder. Rodney stood up and looked at Moses with confusion. I was piping hot as I stood growling. My growl got louder until a bark erupted from my chest. Rodney began to look at me with worry as well.
“Kid you’ve got to calm down” Moses insisted, approaching me slowly.
“Don’t tell me what to do?” I sneered.
“It’s the rage, if you don’t calm down before you change it’ll consume you” Moses explained.
I howled as I tried to calm down and hold myself together, but from what I didn’t know. I gripped my torso with both arms, wrapping them around me like a safe jacket. I dropped to my knees and curled in on myself as tight as I could, fighting everything. Fighting the anger, fighting the homicidal and malevolent thoughts going through my mind, fighting the sight and taste of blood, fighting the hunger, the…RAGE! I felt something grab me. I opened my eyes and realized Moses and Rodney had me pinned to the floor. I looked down, my legs were contorting painfully into the dog-like haunches again.
God I was hungry, why was I suddenly so damn hungry? I could hear Rodney and Moses’ heart beats racing in their chests as they flailed around to keep me pinned down. I managed to get one hand free and slap Moses with it, my claws slashing across his face. Moses growled and the claw marks were gone just as fast as they appeared.
“I’m getting the shot” Rodney yelled, as he started letting my arm go.
“No, it’ll kill him he’s too fresh” Moses yelled.
“He’s out of control Mo” Rodney sneered.
“Get one of the necklaces” Moses commanded, climbing on top of me to hold me down.
He pinned my arms down and put his weight on my midsection. I could hear his heart and smell his blood. I wanted it, needed it. I couldn’t control what was happening to me, although inside I was trying so hard. Rodney ran over to the desk, reached in a drawer, and grabbed something. He winced in pain as he quickly brought it over to Moses and handed it to him on a twenty-inch dog tag chain.
“Hold him” Moses growled, and Rodney grabbed my hands.
Moses reached up and tossed the chain over my head and let it drop to my body. Something hit my chest with a thunk, and it instantly began to burn. I howled and squirmed in pain, as Moses and Rodney continued to hold me down. I could see smoke rising from my body. This was absolutely agonizing.
“Get it under control now kid. Calm yourself. The more human you are, the less it hurts” Moses explained.
I howled once more in pain before breathing deeply and slowly calming down. My legs and arms went back to their normal human form, and I lay shivering in the floor, still dressed, but now drenched in sweat. My hair laid across my face like a wet mop as I trembled looking at my hands. Moses and Rodney finally got off me but perched on their knees beside me. I could still feel a small pinch of burn from the necklace. I looked down at it. On the end of the stainless-steel dog tag chain, was a single silver bullet.
“What, what is that?” I questioned.
“It’s to keep you under control when need be. A lot of Lycanthropes wear them to keep the rage under control unless under threat or attack” Moses explained.
“Wait, what?” I asked, groggily as I sat up from the floor.
Moses sighed and he and Rodney both opened their shirts. They were both wearing identical bullets from mine, only theirs had words etched in them. Rodney’s bullet said peace, Moses’ bullet said Grace.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Well Rodney used to be a soldier. I found him in a military hospital near death in Nineteen Forty-five sometime after World War two” Moses explained.
“Wounded from war?” I probed.
“No, dying from cancer they found in me that got more aggressive because of me fighting in the war” Rodney explained.
“He just wanted peace of mind and to not have to fight anymore, even the cancer” Moses said.
“What about yours?” I pointed.
“Grace was my wife, I lost her in Nineteen twenty-two to Diphtheria. She and our unborn child died before the medicine got to us” Moses explained.
“Were you a lycanthrope then?” I asked.
“Kid I’ve been a Lycan since 1914, and Grace knew, but she didn’t want me to bite her, she wanted to stay human” Moses informed.
I grabbed my bullet, wincing slightly at the burning sensation in my palm and examined it closely. Etched into my bullet was the word: LOVE. Attached to it was a blank tag. I looked at Moses with confusion.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Why love?” I frowned.
“Why not? You can’t think of anyone that could represent?” He shrugged.