The girls are all already in their rooms, most likely getting ready for bed after the long day we had but as luck would have it I stumble upon Kim who is binge eating ice cream in the kitchen.
Only she would dare eat sugar at a time like this but I'm too busy conjuring up an excuse for leaving the dorms to realise that our manager would have her head for snacking.
We both blurt our excuses at the same time. I say I'm going out to clear my head, Kim claims she's stress eating and thankfully we both leave it at that.
The chill night air stings my cheeks and I dig my hands into my coat pockets as I skip down the stairs two at a time.
Up ahead, the bustling night market glows in the distance, lighting up the night sky and the walkways along the streets. I hurry towards the abandoned building, wary of my surroundings until I feel someone fall in step with me.
My body tenses and I look up to see bright eyes above a very recognisable beauty mark. My shoulders immediately relax and I smile behind the mask I'd just put on.
"You drove me crazy today, you know?" Jiho says rhetorically and he pulls his head cap further over his hairline. He has a mask, gloves, a cap and a knee length coat on. So many layers to conceal his identity but it only makes me more paranoid, the articles about our outing at the market still vivid in my memory.
He turns to me and I shift my focus to our feet, unable to explain how ridiculous I've been acting.
"I would beg to differ. I felt like the crazy one today, my mind kept going into overdrive. Kept thinking about the possibility of you doing this," I pause and gesture between us. "With someone else."
Even under that get up I can tell he looks offended. "Do you really think I'm capable of that?"
My lips purse as I truly think about it. I mean anyone is capable of anything. I didn't think Dalia would have an affair with a married man but Loona suggested otherwise. I never thought an idol could be complicit of murder but Loona and Jungseok sure look suspicious enough.
Not to mention Mr Wan preying on young trainees. It seems like everyone has a secret of their own to hide.
Jiho sighs and lets out a sad laugh. "Wow, you're actually considering it. Jina, meeting with you like this is already hard enough. What makes you think I have the time or energy to do the same with another? We have rehearsals, practice, I have shootings, talk shows, variety shows, the list goes on. It's exhausting enough as it is, in fact I've never dared meet someone like this before. I'm only risking it now because I really want to. With you."
My chest feels tight after his admission and I duck under the stone pillar that marks the entrance to the abandoned warehouse we came to last time we met. His words make so much sense that I only feel ridiculous.
Moonlight seeps in through the cracks in the ceiling above and highlights the floors around us with criss-crossing silver streaks. Jiho leads the way, his shadow stretching across the partially lighted cement.
I want to speak, to say something because the silence between us is now suffocating. He's right, he just made so much sense. With such hectic schedules it's been nearly impossible to meet and yet I have managed to not only juggle him, but Hyeon as well.
Maybe that's why I suspected him, because I was capable of it. The memory of Hyeon's face so close to mine as we huddled together in that red booth makes me wince. I try to tell myself that it's all for the sake of the investigation but maybe....maybe I am the problem.
"I'm sorry," I finally say and it is so quiet that my words echo through out the vast empty space.
Jiho is standing by the edge of the building, his broad back shadowed against the starless sky. He turns ever so slightly, his gaze vulnerable. It makes me walk up to him, the need to be closer feels like a magnet pulling at me.
I stand by his side and look up at the night sky above us, so vast, so endless. It makes me feel so small, my worries from today so insignificant.
"I couldn't stop thinking about how good you two were together and it just threw me off. I've never felt like this. Never thought about someone this way." My hands are splayed out before me as I finally admit to being jealous but Jiho doesn't smirk like I'd expected him to.
"I have something to tell you. Sort of a confession." He tugs at his shirt collar nervously and pulls down his mask so that I can see his face. His lips look so soft as they stretch into a small smile. It makes me want to reach out and hold him but his hands are tucked in his pockets.
"Confession?" I ask cautiously. Please don't tell me that I am right. That he's been seeing Rachel behind my back.
"I've actually known who you are since before all that Dalia news in the media." Jiho looks down, the shyness in his face adorable as he shifts from side to side.
I raise my eyebrows and he continues to speak. "This was in 2016. We had just won Artist of the Year and I was voted most handsome at YUA Awards."
I nod slowly, remembering how happy Firefly was at all the attention their most popular group garnered that year and I clearly remember Jiho's face plastered all over the city that week for winning that title. Almost all the skincare brands had endorsed him.
"It was a busy time for us. We were supposed to go on tour right after the award show and the ticket sales were soaring. Everyone was talking about us and Firefly had put us on a pedestal. They overbooked us because this was the first time they'd ever gotten these many offers."
Jiho kicks at an imaginary stone and stares ahead at the city skyline before us. All shining lights set against a dark midnight canvas.
"We barely got three hours of sleep a day. I was exhausted and I kept stumbling through my routine for the concert tour. Everyone was stressed, the pressure on us was immense. At one point I felt like giving up. I just couldn't go on anymore, couldn't find the joy in what I used to love doing."
My chest squeezes at hearing this. I had no idea the smiling face behind all those commercials had felt this way before Viva's glorious tour.
"We were practicing in the studio late one night and we'd all gotten into a huge fight because I kept making the same mistake and we were all so tired. I took a time out, said I needed to get some air. I went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee and then I saw two girls fighting by the Time Crisis machines." Jiho smiles at the memory and I remember those arcade machines I used to love playing with during our breaks.
Binna and I used to rush to them before anyone else would but management eventually dismantled all arcade games, claiming that those were distractions we didn't need.
"I miss those," I murmur and he laughs.
"I can imagine. The way you two were going on about the score being rigged made me wonder if you were aiming for state level championships or something."
I blush profusely and then like a bucket of cold water hitting me, it finally registers that the two girls fighting were Binna and I.
"If there were ever a state level championship for Time Crisis I would have made it," I joke. "So you saw us?"
Jiho nods, his head tilting to the side as he studies me. "I saw you and forgot all about coffee. I knew you two were trainees and the light in your face, the excitement you had when you won that token, the way you danced like you'd just won the biggest award. It brought me back to the days when I dreamed of debuting. It reminded why I was doing this, why I was killing myself working so hard."
"I've never dated anyone before, Jina. I've just never had the time nor energy but when I met you that day at the night market, I recognised you immediately. Not just as the girl circulating in the media for being Dalia's friend but as the girl who made me grateful again. I knew then that I couldn't lose the chance to get to know you so I took it and never looked back."
Jiho steps closer and pulls out something from his coat pocket.
My eyes widen in shock when I see him holding a token from the machine I used to play on. "Is this---"
"You left it on the machine counter that day. After all that fuss and celebration, you just left your prize there and rushed off." He answers. "And I kept it."
Something warms floods my veins, like having a hot chocolate on a chilly night. The sight of the token in his hand makes my throat tight and eyes watery.
"You kept this?" I finally manage to say.
He nods, his fingers clasped around it like it is priceless even though it has no monetary value.
"I kept it throughout the concert tour. Sometimes I use it when I'm stressed before a performance but nowadays I simply keep it for memory's sake."
He takes my hand gently and places the small piece of plastic in my palm. "I wanted to give this to you for tomorrow. I saw how stressed you were today and felt horrible about it. I know it's not much but it would mean a lot to me if you kept it. After all it's yours to begin with."
A lone tear slips down my cheek and he reaches out to brush it away. His thumb a stroke of comfort that makes me close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him.
I inhale softly, breathing the addictive scent that belongs to him. Jiho hugs me back tightly, his hold not at all cautious like the hug we had here last time. One hand holds me to him firmly while the other slides up my neck before working his fingers through my hair.
I sigh at the feeling of his touch. How can this feel like home and something so foreign at the same time?
He strokes my neck and my fingers tighten around his back. I tilt my head back only to see him staring right back at me.
The bustling city drowns out around us until every blinking light becomes a blur, until all I can see is his beautiful face. I brush my thumb over the sharp outline of his jaw and he closes his eyes, sighing under my touch.
I feel the hair that peaks out of his head cap and then touch the beauty mark that I've grown to love so much but Jiho's eyelids flutter when I touch the corner of his lip. So soft, his skin so smooth.
His fingers stiffen at the base of my neck and he looks down at my lips. The hunger in his eyes makes my stomach flip.
Seconds stretch into hours when he angles his head and leans forward to kiss me but when our lips meet it feels like time has stopped moving. All I can feel is him, how his lips fit with mine so perfectly, how his tongue parts my lips, a silent demand for him to taste me. The taste of him making me delirious. We both hold on to each other like our lives depend on it and it is all I can think about when I get back to the dorms.
I can't stop smiling. Can't stop picturing how he looked at me before we kissed. My very first kiss. My hand tightens around the token he'd given me and my grin widens.
I shut the door quietly and head for my room but then a quiet chuckle from the shadows turns my blood to ice.
"Looks like someone just came back from a date."