You're humming like a bee the next morning.
Jungkook is in the shower while you're downstairs, looking for cups to pour your chai into.
Now that his blinds were open, the morning light gleamed in like a ray of constellations, illuminating his dark colored falls and furniture.
The aroma of ealichi soon permeated the air, but you could still smell hints of Jungkook's lemongrass and honeydew cologne. It's hardly unfair for his house to smell so pretty. Because yours always smelt like Indian food.
It's not like you mind because it gave you a little preparation for what to expect for lunch or dinner. Usually, Jihoon prepared Korean food, but the Indian spices you had stored in the kitchen had aromas so strong you could smell the cardamon in your bedroom.
You're smiling like a moron, thinking you're the only one in the kitchen until you feel Junghyun's presence behind you.
Turning, you send him a wide smile. "Good morning!"
He's still in pajamas, hair ruffled messily. He raises a brow at your questionable energy. "Who's got you smiling teeth to teeth like that this morning?"
You pretend to think. "Not you?"
There's a visible frown between his brows. "I'll try not to take offense to that."
You roll your eyes. "Do you want some chai?"
Junghyun steps closer to you, hovering by the counter. His eyes scan the slight mess you made on the counter, with the small spill of milk and the elaichi scattered around. "I'd like some chai tea, thank you very much."
You make a face at him. "Calling it 'chai tea' is redundant."
He raises his hands in surrender. "Pardon my lack of knowledge on Indian sentiments, Y/N. But I would still really like some."
Laughing, you pour chai into his cup, feeling his eyes on your back. "So," he says, drumming his fingers against the counter. "Are you and Jungkook dating?"
That catches you off guard.
Okay, so he definitely heard you last night.
Trying not to blush, you considered nodding, but then realized that after last night, you never had the conversation with Jungkook.
Not that you wanted to have that conversation with him. Simply because it was obvious.
You two are in a situation-ship. Last night was definitely not a fling because Jungkook specifically said you were exclusive.
And you two are most definitely not a sneaky link or best friends with benefits because for starters, you two are not best friends.
So that leaves you with what? Dating?
"You could say that," you finally respond, making Junghyun pause the cup mid air before bringing it to his lips. "So did he tell you everything then?"
At his vagueness, you raise a brow, wondering why he's being so nosy. "Like about the...monastery?"
Although his face is angled slightly away, you could notice the way his expression tightens before he looks away. "Yeah."
Only now do you realize that he was also part of that nightmare. "He did," you mumble. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Junghyun takes a sip from his cup, letting the liquid squirm his taste palette before he swallows, setting his cup back on the table. "And you're still dating him? Regardless of the fact?"
It's your turn to sip tea but you do it casually. "Why wouldn't I?"
Something shapes his expression. Like he just realized something. "Ah," he says, folding his hands to his chest. "So he didn't tell you everything."
There's a tensed edge to his face that makes you mirror his stance by placing your cup on the table to cross your arms over your chest. "Why are you being so diabolical?"
He raises a fine brow at you, circling the rim of the cup with his index finger. "I just think it's fair for you to know everything. Because Jungkook isn't who you think he is."
Something dark swept across the space between the two of you and you try not to grip tighter onto your cup when Junghyun's eyes land on your hoodie.
"Because if he only talked about himself and made you pity him, then he's avoiding the part where your mom's death is involved."
Now your fingers are grasping the cup's handle so tight you might break it.
This is new. The vibes Junghyun is giving off is nothing like you would expect.
His face is contorted into pity, like he's sorry for making you feel this way but you don't understand why.
What is he trying to tell you?
The smoke from the tea pot puffs up, simmering and seeping into the white ceilings above. You turn around, realizing you're alone with him in the kitchen since Jungkook is somewhere upstairs.
"You don't know what you're saying," you hiss, placing your hand on the counter before glaring up at him. "Were you always like this?"
He looks away from you, staring out the window. "Why do you think Jungkook made you sleep in a library room?"
Your breathing goes shallow as you think, annoyed at his absurdity. Annoyed that you're letting him get under your skin.
But why did Jungkook make you sleep in the library room? Why not a nicer guest room? Why not the living room couch? And why the hell does it even matter?
"Because he has nightmares," you say, surprised at the anger in your voice because he's making you paranoid.
But that still didn't make any sense. Why would his nightmares stop him from offering you a nicer guest room? Why only the library room?
Junghyun only steps close to you, and you try not to step back. From up close, you could feel the sincerity in his gaze, the look of silent despair that makes you shiver.
"Yes but there's more to it," he says raspily. "Somewhere in those bookshelves you'll find Jungkook's diary. It has a gold spiral, very easy to spot. You were too distracted by other things last night to notice the dirty little secrets he put in there for you to read cause he's a coward to say them outloud to you."
What-Who does he think you are? A spy?
There's a massive look of bewilderment on your face that makes Junghyun smile like a ghost.
You narrow your eyes at him. "Look," you scowl. "I don't know if you're delulu or if this is some sort of prank, but I think you need help. Junkook told me everything I needed to know so you can stop trying to scare me."
He smiles again, this time almost teasingly. "Is that right?"
You're so exasperated by him you can now hear yourself breathe. "What is your problem? Why are you being so weird?"
When the sunlight suddenly angles on his face, it's hard not to acknowledge how handsome he really is. His features were bold, masculine, and eyes so hooded they held you a prisoner, unwilling to let your gaze slip away.
Junghyun exhales sharply, letting out a small scoff. "Because you're so damn oblivious. Don't you get it?"
He steps close, so close you can feel his breath on your lips, consuming your soul with so much anticipation it makes you hold your breath.
And then he leans in, the tip of his nose grazing your own. You shiver, utterly spellbound by his oddity. When he speaks, it's with a whisper that sends chills down your arms.
"Jungkook killed your mother, Y/N. He murdered her."
The cup shatters on the floor, breaking into shards of fragments that could cut through skin.
Your face shapes into horror. Your vision staggers for a second, and the scene in front of you recoils like a terrible mirage.
Junghyun casually takes a sip of his tea and you're shaking so bad you cannot help it. "No," you choke out, looking down at the ground as it swirls like a whirlpool. "You don't know what you're saying."
"Red?" You hear Jungkook's voice, and you press your lips together, turning towards him.
He's walking toward you with a towel draped around his neck, hair damp from the shower. "Are you alright? What happened?"
He steps into the kitchen, noticing the broken glass. His jaw hardens.
You watch as Jungkook's lips part but he remains quiet, bringing his gaze back towards you before he calmly reaches out for you.
Something wires in your chest, flipping your insides and you quickly cringe away. Jungkook freezes, staring at you with concern. "Red-"
Junghyun watches the scene with a small, sad smile on his face. "Don't worry about it Jungkook. Y/N was just being clumsy."
His voice was different now. Comical. Back to normal. Or maybe this wasn't his normal.
You look away, trying to contain yourself before you force out a fake laugh that sounded like you were wheezing. "Yeah, sorry. I um-I'm going to change. I'll be back."
You can feel Jungkook's gaze on your back as you walk away.
You're not sure what to look for, but the moment you enter the library room, you lock the door, heading straight towards the books.
You're willing to get any information you can get about your mother.
When she died, the press told you that she died in a fire but when the autopsy tests came it, it had been confirmed that she was shot four times in the back suggesting homicide. You never found out by who or how.
While you're searching, you realize that the story Jungkook told you last night was so detailed. It was as if he had those memories written down.
He remembered the color of your mom's glasses. The ruffles on your white dress. The number of days you would visit the monastery. He had it all memorized because he wrote them down.
And so what if he did?
Why does that even matter?
A diary does not make him guilty.
But if you do find a dairy or whatever Junghyun was talking about, then you're not sure why Jungkook would intentionally make you find out yourself. Why not just give it to you?
Was the story so bad that he couldn't even verbalize it to you?
Junghyun's words hit you like a bric.
He killed your mother.
Heartbeat caught in your throat, your fingers stop at a spiral bound book that you pull out.
You turn over your shoulder to make sure the door is locked. Then you shuffle through the pages, skimming through the ones you know.
The one about him drowning. The one about him meeting you for the first time. The one where you're picking daisies--Roses--on the field.
The stories he told you about until you stop at a chapter title that reads, "Arson."
Your heart beats like a maniac drummer, shaking you to the core.
This was absolute madness. Your mother died in a fire, with four gunshots to her back.
God, you really hope that what you read doesn't alter any feelings you have for Jungkook.
This cannot be real.
How does it go from sharing something so intimate with someone to making them a possible murder suspect the next day?
How can you face him after this? What if this was just a prank? A test to see if you really do trust him?
Jungkook was only around seven years old when your mom died. There's no way in hell he could do anything to hurt someone-especially when he was the victim.
You trust him but will this change everything-anything at all?
With the truth in the palm of your hands, you inhale sharply, then turn to the first words on the page.
~~~~~
Unedited. Thank u for 307k! I love you guys so much it actually hurts.
I've been thinking of doing fan art for my book so follow my instagram for updates 🤭
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