JORDAN
After making my brother feel guilty about my broken foot, I decided it was enough and took him out for lunch. A slice of pizza at an indoor playground used to be sufficient, but he's growing up and fast, and I feel as if I'm speaking to a young adult. Justin is funny and becoming his own person. I try to do this once a month because I feel I'm missing a lot about him since I don't live at home.
"You know what pisses me off?" He asks as we walk towards the ice cream salon. "I told Brent that you worked on the game, and he didn't believe me. I hate it when people think I'm making things up. It's not my style."
"Did you show him the credits?" I ask.
"I did! Then he said there are probably a million other Jordan Tanners. What an asshole!"
I laugh at his cursing, something he doesn't dare to do in front of my parents, but he lets loose when I'm around. He looks so much like Dad, and it makes me wonder if Dad looked like him when he was a kid.
"What do you want?" I ask while I read the ice cream menu on the wall.
"Super sundae, extra whipped cream," he says to the girl behind the counter.
"Bruh! You can't possibly eat that after the meal you had! You ate almost an entire meat lover's pizza by yourself!"
"Watch me! Chances are, I'll be hungry again by the time we get to the club. Sam will jump and offer to make crispy chicken for me if I put on puppy eyes."
"You are evil, Justin." I laugh. "How come you don't gain weight?" I grab the slightly doughy sides hanging atop the edge of my jeans.
"Soccer practice. You should move more instead of sitting the whole day."
I could have moved my usual amount if I didn't have a broken foot for so many weeks, but I had promised myself not to mention that. After placing my order, we watch with greedy eyes as the girl makes our desserts. Dad always complained he had to get groceries several times per week when I was growing up, and I assume things have not changed with Justin.
We take our places at a round table nearby and after loading his spoon and placing it in his mouth, he closes his eyes to enjoy it. Since Justin was little, he's always savored ice cream as if it was the first time every time. A large dollop of whipped cream sticks to his chin and I wipe him with a napkin.
"Bruh, fuck off!" He swats my hand away.
"I only wanted to help. Watch your mouth! One day you will say something like that in front of Mom." I laugh.
"You curse all the time around her!"
"I'm older than you." I tease him.
"Jordan, when can I have sex with a girl?"
The question comes so unexpectedly, I lose control of my spoon full of ice cream and it bounces on the table and then on the floor. I stand up to ask for a cloth to clean the mess I made and when I'm done and sit again, Justin is watching me with interest, expecting an answer.
"Don't make me ask again," he says, and a slight pink tint appears on his cheeks.
"How do you even know what that is?" I say.
"Everyone talks about it in school and it's everywhere on the internet! Have you seen the women in the games your company makes? Don't tell me that there wasn't enough budget to design clothes for them."
"Those games are for adults." I try to justify something I know it's not true.
"Bullshit! You know everyone in my class buys them. You haven't answered my question."
Not able to avoid the conversation, I answer honestly. "You will be ready when you understand the physical and mental consequences of having sex. You can get a girl pregnant, and you can also break her heart if you don't feel the same way she does."
"Ugh, babies. They cry and poop, it's a mess. Then I'll never do it." He grimaces and then his mouth turns into a naughty grin. "I did the math. Dad and Mom made you when they were teens."
Justin's words make me freak out internally because we've never told Justin about my real relationship to him.
"Shit... I don't think there's a perfect time for this, but you will find out anyway," I say, and Justin stops eating to give me his full attention. "Mom and Dad met about a year before you were born. She was the school counselor when Dad became my guardian. We got the confirmation by mail that my adoption papers were made final on the same day we brought you home from the hospital."
"Adoption?" He watches me with his mouth open while trying to process the information. "Where are your parents, then?" He asks after looking around to make sure no one is listening.
"My mother died of an overdose when I was a toddler. My father was a criminal who didn't treat me well. Dad found out they were brothers shortly before he passed away from cancer. That's why you and I look alike, but in reality, we are cousins."
Justin lifts his chin and his lips tremble. He fights the tears and then stands up and walks out of the shop.
"Where are you going?" I try to match his pace.
"Home," he says.
"Mom's not home, and it's too far to walk. Talk to me, Justin," I try to hold his arm and he shakes it off.
"Fuck off! You are not my brother!"
"Justin..." I take a moment to catch my breath. "Okay, you are pissed. I get that. Let me bring you to the club then, if you don't want to be with me."
Justin gets in my car and slams the door shut. He doesn't speak or look my way the entire ride to the club. I'm concerned, because this is something that I should have talked through with my parents first. After I park, he slams the door again and strides towards the club. I find Rory and Adam going through some papers at the bar.
"Is everything okay?" Adam asks when Justin walks by without a greeting and heads towards the basement.
"No. Is Dad here?"
"He's upstairs in the storage," Rory says. "Are you okay?"
"I'll be."
I head up the stairs and find a few people having a late lunch, but no one looks my way. Behind a curtain, I open the door to the storage and find Dad with a clipboard in his hands and a pencil behind his ear.
"Hey, Jordan. I thought you were with Justin."
"Dad..."
My face probably reflects how I feel because he puts the clipboard down and places a hand on my arm. "What is going on?"
"I'm so sorry. Justin was talking bullshit, saying that he figured Mom and you made me when you were in your teens. I told him a simplified version of the truth. I told him you guys adopted me and he seemed to have no trouble with that, but when I said we are cousins... He's so pissed right now... I had to bring him here after he yelled at me in the street that I'm not his brother."
"Hey, come here." Dad opens his arms and I feel like the scared 15-year-old kid I once was. "I'm the one who's sorry. Mom and I should have taken the time to tell Justin. He put you in a difficult position, but it will be okay. Where is he?"
"Basement."
Dad motions for me to follow him and closes the storage. We find Justin sitting with Erin. He looks so angry, and she looks worried.
"You lied to me!" Justin says to Dad when he sees us.
"We never did," Dad says. "It's a delicate situation, and we were going to tell you when you were mature enough to understand." Justin shrugs and when Dad tries to touch his arm, he shakes it off like he did to me. "Finding out Jordan was adopted and your cousin doesn't change the fact that you are both my sons, and he is your brother. What matters is what you feel in here." Dad points at his own heart. "Both the days when you were born and when Jordan's adoption court hearing happened were the best days of my life."
Justin watches me and seems to want to say something but changes his mind. I take that as my opportunity to tell him how I feel.
"I loved you since I knew you were in Mom's belly. You were my brother already then."
He doesn't look at me, but his face softens. It gives me hope things will be okay.
"Go grab a drink. I'll stay with him," Dad says and I nod.
I head upstairs and sit at the bar. It's too early for a beer, so I settle for coffee, although something stronger might help right now.
"What happened?" Rory asks, as he places the cup of coffee in front of me.
"Justin found out I'm adopted and felt we lied to him."
"It's never easy. When we told Alexis I'm not her biological dad, she was shocked and distant at first, but when she understood how much I love her, we've been closer than ever. I helped bring her to the world. She will always be my daughter."
"He will be okay, Jordan. With time, he will understand that no one wanted to hurt him, only protect him." Adam pats my shoulder.
I keep chatting with Rory and Adam, and Deirdre's voice coming from the entrance catches my attention.
"Hey, Jordan. How are you doing?" Her brilliant smile makes me warm inside. "I haven't seen you in a while. I guess you've been busy with your girlfriend."
"Just busy with work. Chloe is back to hers."
"I heard she's a busy girl. Finishing a theater tour and then starting a concert tour. I wouldn't mind having her job and seeing so many places."
"What concert tour?" I ask, as this is new information for me. Deirdre blushes as red as her hair.
"Erin told me she's going on the road with Pinch of Postal at the end of the month to work with their wardrobe and makeup team. I'm really sorry. I thought you knew. Erin surely thought you did."
I let out a deep breath. This isn't the first time Chloe plans things behind my back. "Today is a terrible day. I should have stayed in bed."
"What do you mean?"
I relay a quick version of what happened with my brother. Deirdre listens and then pats my arm. "I'm so sorry. Hey, if there's anything I can do to make you feel better, please let me know."
"Just listening helps. Tell me, Deirdre, am I a fool for thinking a long-distance relationship can work?"
"I believe in the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. Only when the distance has been for too long, it is time to reconsider. I also believe in open and honest relationships. Maybe you should talk to Chloe and clear the air about why she didn't share she's going again on tour."
Not only do I have to find out why Chloe didn't tell me about the tour, but also if she sees our relationship the same way I do.