Yoongi
This is bad.
The guy who made my coffee at Starbucks added sugar in it this morning leaving a sour aftertaste in my mouth and as if that didn't make me feel any less wretched, living with Evelyn in the same space is more than I can possibly handle.
It's not that she's done anything worth getting aggravated over; she minds her own business and barely talks to me and even better she tries her hardest to stay out of my sight when I'm around. Ever since our first encounter in this house, both of us have put up our own mental walls; probably because it's awkward being in each other's presence when there's so much history between us. She doesn't even spare me a look in the eyes when I'm in the room and my chest tightens when she deliberately ignores me. She simply hovers around quietly, roaming the rooms of this apartment like a ghost and even without saying a thing, she's still haunting me.
I notice she goes out a lot and often wears the same white dress shirt and black pants, despite the devastating summer heat. Her feet are always covered with the same black leather thick soled Oxfords. And to top it off, she carries her black backpack that is filled with loads and loads of papers, rulers, tracing paper and cutting tools; all the necessary equipment for architects.
Evelyn or should I say Eva looks disappointed and drained after coming home from wherever she works at, so she's probably not satisfied with the working environment.
But then again nobody is ever satisfied with their job.
Sometimes she leaves her stuff on the kitchen chairs when she returns and instead of leaving it in her room, she just heads straight for the shower and stays in there for forty minutes. Not a single minute more or less and the best fucking part is when she walks out with the steam spilling out of the bathroom alongside a trail of smoke from her cigarette.
There's a part in me that secretly enjoys how much she loves smoking in the shower after a long day and I don't even feel like complaining when she takes a long time. I wouldn't dare complain because when once she takes a shower, the whole bathroom smells like her; smoke and lavender and that alone is more intoxicating than nicotine. It's far more addicting than any chemical, any drug I've allowed enter my system.
And right now she's sitting on the floor in the living room with all of her papers and sketchbooks flooding the space. She's crouching over the coffee table with her coppery hair splayed across her back in gentle waves. I suddenly have the urge to pull it away from her face so that it doesn't dangle and block her vision and I bite the inside of my cheek to the invasive thought. The television is on and some god awful reality show is on, but none of us are paying any mind to it. The light from the screen grazes the outline of her body and colors shift to shadows as the show continues to play.
Pushing the frame of my glasses further up my nose, I avert my gaze and focus on the website I'm building on my laptop screen. I run my fingers through my hair and not a minute has passed when I find myself glimpsing back her.
At some point, Evelyn sweeps her hair to the side and I find myself standing a little over my chair, curious to see what has got her so immersed, but the piece she's working on is only in its drafting stages.
She casts her pencil aside for now and erases some of the efforts that displeased her when she suddenly gets off the floor. I immediately plant my ass back on the chair and still my gaze on my laptop when she walks over to the kitchen in her lilac socks with a pale green mug in her hands and refills her glass with orange juice before walking back to the living room without saying a word. Meanwhile, I can't stop staring at her ass, these black boxer shorts she's wearing are doing a tremendous job of accentuating her thighs and fuck; I shouldn't be thinking of her like that.
She's Jimin's ex, snap out of it fool.
I shouldn't care that she doesn't talk to me while we live in the same apartment or give a shit about her beautiful ass. Hell, I shouldn't even think of her as attractive, but damn that woman is insanely appealing. With her eyes colder than the Arctic, her gaze is so penetrative, so icy that it might as well give me frostbite and that hot little body of hers she's got all it takes to make my dick hard. And the fact that she doesn't say a word to me just does it for me; I can't tell whether I'm more frustrated or turned on. That itself is enough to irritate me further.
I shut my laptop frustrated and the loud sound must have startled her because she spins around as she sits on the couch with her stupid mug of orange juice in hand, before making my way to my bedroom. When I close the door behind me, I can finally breathe. I cast my laptop aside on my desk and let my body fall limb on my bed.
I grab my phone from my back pocket and check my messages, as way to keep my mind of the bulge in my crotch, but it's starting to feel uncomfortable so I flip around facing sideways when I read some text messages from my only two friends. Apparently, Nox wants to hang out later in the day and I'm in the mood to grab a drink so I'm not sure how this will work out.
I tense up when I see Jimin's message. He has made it a habit to check on me every now and then, and my responds are more or less the same, but this time a pang of guilt hits me as I type down my answer and I know it has everything to do with the woman sketching in my living room.
I delete my text altogether and toss my phone on the side with a tired groan. I honestly don't know what the hell I'll do when Jimin comes back and asks to see my new place. I can't get rid of Evelyn either, because she's already signed the lease.
"Ah fuck, what am I gonna do with you Evelyn?" I mumble under my breath.
It's Saturday and I'm pretty much free all damn day, but the problem is I am in no mood to be around other people. Nox can't drink and even if Jimin were here, he'd pass on a beer or two. Seokjin on the other hand, is hanging out with his Aera and is actually taking my advice of spending more quality time with his kid, so I can't even distract myself by watching anime with a toddler.
I get off my bed with my phone in hand and leave my room. When I enter the living room, Evelyn barely raises her head to face me, but for a split second she flinches when I approach her. I look down at her sketches and then her hand. One side is stained from the lead and so are some of her fingertips. She's sketching a Shinto shrine. I don't recognize which one it is out of the hundred thousand ones in Japan and besides, I haven't been in Tokyo in years.
There's no reference next to her which makes it all the more impressive that she's sketching this out from memory. That can only mean she's done her homework, before taking up the responsibility of drawing it.
She gazes up for a moment and her cold eyes dilate, suddenly the coldness disappearing in the darkness of her irises.
"Shinto shrines are places of worship and the dwellings of the Shinto deities, the kami. Usually they house more than one god." Her lips are agape as she looks at me and I get distracted from the lead stain on her cheek so I lower down and wipe it away from her skin with my thumb. "Didn't expect you to be interested in Japanese architecture."
"Didn't expect the cold shoulder to end so soon." She says with snark, then continues working on her piece. "I estimated six months."
That's when our lease expires.
Evelyn takes a deep breath before putting her pencil down and draws her legs close to her chest. "I always wanted to go to Japan." She muses. "I even applied for an exchange student architecture program there last year, but they didn't take me."
And obviously the fools missed out on her talents.
"What are your plans with university?" I ask her. "Last we spoke, you said you weren't planning to return."
Because she was planning to leave. Again.
"I'm not. I need to find a job."
"You told me over the phone that you have a stable job."
"And by that I meant I have a steady income." She says firmly. "Doesn't mean I have a job. But don't worry, I promise I won't ditch you before the lease expires."
"You better not." I'll hunt her down myself if she fucks me over this time and I won't be as patient as I've been. "Since you don't have a job, where do you go every morning?"
"I've applied to over two hundred architecture firms and whichever one replies, I simply schedule an interview with them."
My eyes widen at the number of firms she's been to. "And nobody has hired you yet?"
"Nope." She shrugs. "I haven't gotten my Bachelor's yet and not to mention I took half a year off, so that's a setback."
"What did you do during the time you were off?"
"I worked at a motel."
"Why did you leave?" The question flies away from my mouth and she smiles to herself, as she leans her head on her knees.
"When?"
"What?"
"Your question. You need to be more specific." She adds on. "Are you asking why I left university or why I left that night?"
Both.
When I don't say anything, she sighs before simply saying, "Just because."
And with that she glances over at her phone. Her eyes widen as if she remembered something important, then she picks up her things and leaves me all alone in the living room.
A few minutes later, her bedroom door opens again and she steps out in a striped tank top, with an olive green shirt covering her shoulders, shorts and her worn out boots. A bag is hanging off her shoulder and her car keys are in hand.
"Going somewhere?" I ask nonchalantly.
"I forgot to do something important a few days ago." Evelyn says hastily and just like that I'm curious as to why she's worked up all of a sudden. "I'll be back later."
She dials a number on the phone and waits for the person on the other line to pick up and when she gets no response, she frowns and huffs angrily.
I watch her as she aggressively bites down on her lip and shoves her phone in her back pocket, making me wonder who she's going to meet right now.
She pulls into a halt in the end of the hallway and puts on some lipstick before bolting out the door in a hurry.
***
"Ugh, why do you always have to win?" Hayden huffs frustrated and with a swift swing of her arms she sweeps away all the cards we dealt from the table. We were playing Texas Holdem for past hour while munching on some Mac Donald's French fries I brought. She's sitting across me in her wheelchair at one of the tables at the small park area in the Crescent House. "Seriously, it's annoying."
"Someone's a sore loser," I say with a small smile. "We're not even playing for real money, why are you getting worked up over this?"
"You should start playing for real money, to get your broke ass out of that ugly apartment."
"No can do. My lease ends in six months."
"You're really going to stay there for the whole year huh?" She scrunches her nose. "Thought you were considering moving to a smaller place, since you can't find a roommate who would willingly stay with you."
I bend down and start picking up the cards she swept on the floor. Once I gather the whole deck, I shuffle it before dealing two cards face up to each of us. I end up getting two of hearts while Hayden got a King. After each round of hand, the dealer shifts between both of us, then she shuffles and deals our cards. She runs a hand through her hair as her brows furrow when she slaps my Hole cards face down in my direction.
"Shut up, I found one." I murmur under my breath.
"For real? Is he hot?" When I don't answer her right away, her eyes glimmer in excitement. "Is she hot?"
I look down at my cards and rub my eyes at the thought of Evelyn with her hair dangling down her waist in a darker coppery color at first only to lighten to shades of rust towards the ends. In my mind she's sitting on her knees in the living room, drafting out a new piece using the tools that are scattered all over the coffee table. Her hands are stained from shading, her eyes focused at her task at hand and her lip tugged under her teeth in concentration.
"She must be really pretty if she got you speechless."
"She's not pretty."
Only because she's beautiful instead.
"Oh no, Yoongi did you get in her pants already?" She asks.
"Fuck no." I shoot.
And I'm sure as hell not planning to get in her short shorts either.
She puts down her cards facing upwards and all intentions of furthering our game have dissipated into thin air. "How long has she stayed with you?"
"Almost a week."
"Damn, and you are only telling me this now?" She boasts. "It's strange that you didn't mention her, despite having spent over a month whining about how hard it is to find a roommate." Her fingers intertwine and she balances her face on top of them as she narrows her eyes on me with a playful grin. "Is there something you're keeping from me?"
"Where are you getting at Haydes?" I put my own cards down and cross my arms defensively when a laugh leaves her lips.
"I'm getting to the point where you drop the act and you tell me what is bothering you." She retorts.
"Why is everyone busting my balls about the shit that's bothering me?" I roll my eyes out of annoyance then run my hand through my hair. First it was Nox, then Jimin cornered me when I was drunk and now Hayden and it's making me wondering, am I really that transparent?
"Because you're busting our balls by being a killjoy." She picks an apple from the plate next to her and bites down on it. "Besides, have I ever given you a reason to not tell me stuff?"
"It's complicated Haydes. And I'm not in the mood to get into it right now." My phone suddenly vibrates and I lazily look down at the screen that lights up Faye's text, so I type down a quick response before hitting send.
Faye: Come see me at the Sage.
YG: I'll be there in a bit
"Yeah, but when your girlfriend texts you, you always seem to be in the mood to get into her." Hayden huffs and I poke her forehead with a shit-eating grin.
"She's not my girlfriend."
"Keep telling yourself that." She yawns. "Remember to send me a wedding invitation after she's barefoot and pregnant in your living room."
"Jesus Christ Hayden," I inwardly cringe at the thought of marrying Faye, much less having kids with her. I'm about to turn twenty three years old next month, there's no room for settling with someone at this point in my life; hell, I haven't accomplished anything I'm proud of, nor have I made a fortune from which my wife and children will comfortably live off from. "What is wrong with you?"
"Sometimes, I wonder the very same thing my friend."
***
I don't want to go home yet.
If I go home, I'll be forced to stay in that little box of an apartment with Evelyn where it will be impossible to breathe when she'll be there to knock the air out of my lungs with her mere presence. I let my guard down earlier when she was sketching out in the living room, but this will never happen again.
She doesn't exist anymore.
She's not there.
A veil of smoke fogs up my field of vision as I walk between tables at the Sage. It's Saturday, so it's their busiest day. Evgenia is busy mixing drinks behind the wet bar and she raises the glass with a slight nod as soon as she notices me come inside, before gesturing on the other side of the room where Faye is sitting in a booth.
She's scrolling through her phone as I approach her table and she slowly lifts her gaze from the screen only to face me with wide brown eyes. As I pay attention to her, her long hair that dangles in round curls down her waist, her tiny black top and the short jean skirt with her long legs poking from under the table, my mind somehow travels back to when Evelyn was sketching in that small top of hers with those extremely thin straps and her tight shorts that accentuated her ass. When I look at Faye's hands, there's no lead staining her skin, or small cuts from the tools she's using. When I look into her eyes, I don't drown in them like I do in her cold blue ones. When I look at her the smile that slowly rises on her face, all I see is that concentrated frown that sometimes turns into a pout. Her long hair falling in front of her face, causing her to shake her head or blow it away.
This needs to stop.
She's not the girl from the glasshouse.
The girl I once knew no longer lives within her. It's pointless to dwell on the past.
"Hey," Faye says softly. "You came."
"I said I would."
She leans closer to the table as I plop down on the booth across her. I jerk back when she sniffs a little toward my direction before saying, "You smell funny."
"I was at the hospital."
"What? Why? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I assure her. "I was visiting my friend."
"I see." She mumbles. "So, um...how have you been?"
I could be at home watching her. If I can't talk to her, I might as well just look at her.
"Good." The next thought that comes to mind is Jimin, because when he finds out I'm living with his ex girlfriend he's going to hang me by the balls on a utility pole. "My best friend is going to visit one of these days, so I'll be busy hanging out with him a lot when he returns."
"Oh, yeah? That's great." She pauses a little, only to tuck a strand behind her ear. "I was thinking about you the past week. I didn't like how we left things off."
Honestly, I didn't like it either, but regardless, it serves no consequence to me.
Her hand is slowly making it's way under the table to grab mine and I stiffen even more. "I know where you come from Yoongi. I really do, even when you confuse me sometimes." She proceeds. "And I know you stated exactly what you wanted out of this from the very beginning and obviously, I agreed because I wanted those things as well. However, as much as it pains for me to admit, you grew on me Yoongi. I like the way you make me feel when I'm with you and when we part ways, I look forward to the next time I'll see you." I listen to everything she has to say closely, but I don't react. "I got angry last week and while I shouldn't have yelled, I fucking hated the way you treated me. I hadn't seen you in days and then when you used me as you pleased you just-"
"That's all we do Faye." I tell her, before she has a chance to complete her sentence. "This is what we agreed to do."
"I know, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."
"Then this has to stop." I tell her firmly. "If you're hoping this will go somewhere Faye, I'll save you the trouble and tell you that it won't."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want it to."
She seems taken aback from my cruel answer and I'm not one to sugarcoat things. I always speak my mind, unless I'm around Evelyn. With her, I need to choose my words carefully or she might use hers to obliterate me.
"I don't want it to stop." She suddenly says, slamming her hand on the table. "This won't stop."
"You can't make that decision alone."
"Is there someone else?" She asks lowly.
"Even if there was, it would be none of your business Faye." I tell her. "You can fuck whomever you want by the way."
A bitter laugh leaves her mouth as she clenches her phone in her hands until her knuckles turn white. "Wow, Yoongi thank you for being so fucking courtuous." She gets off her seat and finishes her leftover beer before slapping a bill on the carved table.