Sharply turning the corner and exiting Hyunjin's dorm building, you briskly walk back home. The cold winter air brushes past your cheeks, turning the warm moisture around your eyes into icy droplets prickling against your skin. It reminded you of when you had stormed out of Jaehyun's apartment, but this time was so much worse. Rather than having a hole punched through your heart, you felt like it had been pulled out of your chest entirely.
It was a deep sadness that you felt in your bones, one that left you locked up in your bedroom for days alone, only leaving to use the bathroom or to get food once your body was at its breaking point. Your members were concerned, but they knew better than to question you or to push you too hard. You would open up to them when you were ready, and you appreciated the space they gave you as you mourned your broken heart. After that first night you left him, you cried until you were too weak to cry anymore. But in the nights that followed, the tears behind your eyes were replaced by an overwhelming emptiness that engulfed you in misery.
You hated yourself. You hated that you hated yourself. You hated that it was always you who ruined things, and that you couldn't blame anyone else for your sufferings. You hated that your hurt and insecurities ended up hurting those around you. You hated that you couldn't change. You hated that you might have lost the most important person in your life, one who made you better, made you whole, one who loved you even when you couldn't love yourself.
You thought you might never feel complete again, a vital component of your being forever locked up with the memories of him. You made peace with this fact, and continued your days in meaningless activity, doing the bare minimum of what was expected of a functional human being. None of it brought you any joy though, nothing ever excited you anymore but you figured that was part of growing up. You found yourself wondering what the point of it all was, if there even was a point.
But you had a responsibility to lead your group, and as you went through the motions, forcing yourself to get up each day and be productive, your perspective started to shift. You found yourself cracking a smile whenever your members would joke around during practices, making fun of each other and busting out goofy dance moves. You appreciated their carefree spirit, unchained to any expectations, duties or person.
When was it that you lost sight of your own desires and started living for the contentment of others? You can't remember how long you've dealt with these feelings of worthlessness and self doubt, and you suspect that becoming an idol had only amplified the discouraging voices in your head. All you know is that you now had a long journey ahead to reverse your way of thinking.
Day by day, you try to overwrite your pessimistic attitude with positivity. You learn to laugh at yourself rather than wallowing in pity. You start doing things that you like, regardless of others' opinions. You pick up hobbies in your spare time, developing new skills such as cooking and embroidery, finding pride in your finished works. You cut your hair short, something you've always wanted to do but were too scared to try, and you even frequent the Han river for a nighttime bike ride every now and then. You spend more time with your friends, the ones who have been there for you through thick and thin. You also spend more time with yourself, becoming comfortable in your loneliness, and enjoying your independence.
Gradually, you learn how to cherish yourself. You realize that you had neglected your happiness for far too long, that prioritizing your needs isn't selfish, and that it was okay to love yourself. Your quest for self love was the longest and most challenging one yet, but little by little you understand better how to be gentle with yourself, how to be patient with your progress, and how to feel proud of how far you've come. Finally, you find success in a relationship, your relationship with yourself—the most important one of all.
Before long, your group's schedule picks up again and you're busier than ever. You're glad you're at a healthier and happier point in your mental state, because you don't have time to dwell on any more causes for emotional distress any longer. Your group was set to embark on your first world tour, and you were beyond thrilled. Traveling the world with your best friends, exploring new locations and doing what you loved was like a dream to you. You felt so lucky to be able to have this experience and you were ready to embrace all that it had to offer you with open arms.
You performed in the largest stadiums, entering stages to be greeted by thousands of screaming fans all waving their fluorescent light sticks. You ate delicious foods, savoring flavors you've never tasted before. You adventured to new cities, falling asleep to a different view outside of your windowsill every night.
—
A year went by before you knew it. Landing back in Seoul where you began, you were delighted to return to the familiarity of your home yet you carried the collection of experiences from overseas with you. You had changed. Since you last set foot in this city, you were no longer the same fragile girl. You were confident and vivacious, brimming with excitement and a newfound fervor for life. You weren't afraid anymore.
After concluding your tour, the company granted you and your group mates a vacation. You were free to spend your time as you wished, relaxing and recharging after your extended group promotions. Eager to catch up with friends you hadn't seen in a while, you immediately agreed to a dinner date with Yeji when she found out that you were back in town.
Yeji: Y/N!!! You're finally backk~ Come eat dinner with me please?? 🥹
Me: Of course! When and where? I'm on vacation so my schedule is pretty open 🤗
Yeji: Yay!! Hmm, are you free tomorrow night? I just have a recording session until 6pm but we can go right afterwards! Meet me at the JYP building?
Me: Sounds great, see you then!
With a sigh, you toss your phone on your bed before getting ready for a shower. You were excited to see your friend again after so long but a tiny part of you was skeptical about going to the JYP building for fear of running into...him. You're sure you've moved on now, what with your new focus on self growth taking the front seat in your life, you hadn't occupied yourself with thoughts of any boys for a long time. Actually, you hadn't been with any other guys after him, and you weren't looking to be with any either.
You can't lie and say that he hasn't crossed your mind every now and then. The only difference was that now your memories of him were fond rather than painful. You hadn't kept in touch with him, but you believe it's for the best. There had been instances when you overheard gossip from your friends in the industry about Hyunjin's whereabouts and who he's dating, and though it stings you a bit each time his name is brought up, you're soothed by the knowledge that he's doing well. You've done enough to hurt him in the past, and you don't want to interfere with his life and happiness anymore, so you're perfectly content with watching him thrive from the sidelines.
Regardless of your history with him, you and Hyunjin were both adults, and enough time had passed for you both to move on. You tell yourself that you're being ridiculous for worrying over something as harmless as bumping into him again, and quickly shake off your doubts. The chances of you crossing paths with him in such a large building were slim, and even if you did end up seeing him, you probably would just politely greet him and continue on your way.
Probably.
Your dinner date with Yeji arrived the next evening, and you successfully pushed away any thoughts of Hyunjin and turned your attention to picking out an outfit instead. You settled on a pleated miniskirt made of a tan khaki fabric paired with a cropped, white long sleeved shirt. Since it was still chilly outside, you threw on a wool peacoat, and completed your look with thigh high socks and baby doll heels. Ever since your confidence grew on the inside, it reflected in your appearance as well. You enjoyed piecing together outfits, because looking good made you feel good too.
You walk out your dorm building and hail a taxi, shooting Yeji a text to notify her that you were on the way. She doesn't respond, but you figure that she's busy recording. Once you arrive, you wait outside the entrance doors, texting her again to let her know you're here. Shortly after, Yeji tells you that she's running a bit late and to come wait in the recording studio, she'll be done in a few minutes. You follow her instructions and navigate to the third floor, peaking through the windows on each door as you make your way down the hall trying to locate the recording studio.
You pass by several conference rooms, lounges, and practice rooms filled with various artists and company employees. Yeji was nowhere to be found but you continue wandering the halls. Glancing at each room, you move from door to door before the sight of a familiar figure makes you pause in your steps.
The gleam in his eyes was unmistakable and the pout that he wore on his lips was just as you had remembered. Sweat glistened on his skin as he executed his choreography in the mirror, giving him a ethereal glow. You noticed that he had cut his hair short and colored it black too, a stark difference from the long blonde locks you were accustomed to. His new hair made him look mature, exuding a sort of sophisticated masculinity that you hadn't seen from him before. He was still as gorgeous as ever though, some things just never change.
Enamored in watching his performance, you're caught off guard when he suddenly turns and locks eyes with you. You try to duck out of sight, but your reaction is a bit too slow, because he's already noticed your presence and starts walking towards the door.
Mentally cursing yourself for getting caught spying on his dance practice like a fool, you quickly straighten yourself out as the door opens and Hyunjin peeks his head out.
"Y/N, is that you?" He asks with eyes wide.
"Hey, yeah it's me." You give him an awkward wave and flash a feeble smile. God, this was embarrassing.
"You...cut your hair." He motioned to your newly chopped tresses.
"Oh, yeah, I did." You twirl a loose strand around your finger.
Hyunjin smiles at you. "It looks great."
A blush creeps across your cheeks as you mumble a thanks. "It looks like you cut your hair too. It's so different from before."
"A good different?" He runs a hand through his bangs, letting them fall effortlessly at his temples.
"A good different." You grin in return.
You swear you see Hyunjin's cheeks turn a shade darker, but then again maybe it was from all the dancing he just did. There's a few moments of silence as you both fidget in you spots, figuring out what to say next.
"Anyways, did you...need help with something?" Hyunjin stepped out to join you in the hallway, shutting the door behind him before leaning a shoulder on it.
You admire his build for a moment. He was slimmer, more toned. His veins were visible on his forearms which extended from his sculpted biceps that noticeably bulged when he crossed his arms together. Hyunjin looked good, and you're so glad you put in the extra effort with your outfit today. Not that it mattered.
You snap out of your trance to answer him. "Oh yeah, uh, I was trying to find the recording studio? Yeji told me to meet her there. We're getting dinner soon..."
You pull out your phone to check if Yeji had texted you back yet and she had.
Yeji: I'm sosososo sorry babe, my session is gonna go all night 😢 I won't be able to make it to dinner, can we reschedule? I'll make it up to you!! 😭😭
You audibly sigh as you read her message. Now you had to walk yourself out of the building alone, in front of Hyunjin. After he caught you watching him dance too! Talk about a walk of shame.
Hyunjin points you to the direction of the recording studio. "It's just around the corner, do you need me to walk you there?"
You heart rate quickens at his thoughtful gesture. "Actually, it looks like I won't need to meet her anymore. Her session got extended so she just canceled dinner." You drop your gaze and frown at the ground.
"Oh, sorry to hear that..." Hyunjin timidly comments, stretching an arm to scratch the back of his neck. "Well, it was nice seeing you again. We should catch up sometime." He politely smiles before shifting to leave.
You panic as he turns his back to reenter the practice room. After a whole year of radio silence, you were face to face with Hyunjin again. So much had changed since you last saw him, but he still managed to get your heart racing just like the first time you met. You missed him. There is so much you want to say, so much you want to ask, and so much you've been holding back this past year, but you struggled to find the right words. Something about his aura, his very being affected you in a way nothing else in this world can. All the confidence you had built over the past year came crumbling down in an instant, and you reverted back to a nervous schoolgirl after just one conversation with him.
No, you are not the same timid girl you were before. You've built yourself up for so long, and you don't want to let your insecurities get the best of you anymore. With a self-assured inhale, you gather the courage within you to say one last thing.
"Wait!" Hyunjin freezes in his in his tracks but turns to face you.
"Yes?"
"Do you maybe want to get dinner with me instead?" You instantly avert your eyes and focus on the wall next to you before you lose your mind. Did you really just ask Hyunjin to dinner? After rejecting his confession and not seeing him for a whole year? You want to curl up in a hole for speaking without thinking first, but you collect every ounce of confidence in you to back yourself.
"To catch up! You know, as friends?" You try to save yourself from further embarrassment. "You don't have to if you're busy or uncomf-"
"That sounds good." He promptly replies.
The shock is evident on your face as you speechlessly stare back at him.
"Just give me a minute to grab my stuff, I'll be right back."
You're left breathless, standing in the hallway as Hyunjin heads back into the dance studio to retrieve his items. I guess this is really happening. You think to yourself, unsure of how to feel but deciding to maneuver through the situation as you go. You try to convince yourself that dinner will be casual and that there's nothing strange about the circumstances you currently found yourself in, but your fast beating heart betrayed you.
Hyunjin emerges from the door once again, bag slung over his shoulder. "There's a good hotpot place across the street. You cool with eating there?"
You nod and follow closely behind him as he leads you to the restaurant. You walked in silence, the only sound coming from your footsteps on the pavement. Hyunjin seemed unbothered by the tension you were feeling, casually strolling with a hand in his pocket.
Meanwhile, your mind was going a hundred miles an hour trying to calculate your next move and what to say. You felt like you owe Hyunjin an apology for how your relationship left off, but at the same time were unsure if you should even bring up the past. It didn't look like Hyunjin held any animosity towards you, and he showed no qualms about joining you for dinner. As you entered the restaurant, sitting down across from him at the table, he courteously passes you the menu and even mentions his favorite items.
You can tell that Hyunjin was putting effort into making the ambience comfortable between you two, so you quell any apprehension you felt and elect to do the same. You hadn't spoken to him in over a year after all, so you were genuinely curious to hear what he's been up to and how he's been doing. There were endless topics you could talk about and no need to fear any awkward pressure.
After your food arrived, you decide to initiate the conversation. "What were you practicing for today?"
"I have an upcoming dance video to film for Artist of the Month." He timidly grins.
"Shut up. That's amazing! Congratulations!"
"Thanks." He chuckles. "I'm excited about it but still nervous at the same time. The choreography is pretty intense and I even cut my hair, so I don't know how the fans will react."
You earnestly look Hyunjin in the eyes. "They'll love it! You looked great doing the choreo, the video will be a hit for sure."
"You think so?" He smiles at you. "You did seem to enjoy watching me through the window." His grin turning into a smirk.
Your eyes widen before deflecting his stare. You can feel your ears heating up, revealing your embarrassment, but you can't say you didn't enjoy his teasing. You always appreciated the playful nature between you and Hyunjin, and you weren't going to back down from a simple sly comment.
You clear your throat. "I was just...monitoring your technique. That's all."
Hyunjin just giggles in response. He looks so adorable doing so, you can't even be mad.
"Anyways, what have you been up to lately? It's been a while since we talked..." His voice trails off.
"Yeah, it has been a while." You suddenly find it hard to look at him. "A lot has happened actually. We just finished our first world tour and now we get a little break."
"How was the tour?"
"It was incredible. Preforming in places I've only imagined, trying new foods, exploring the cities...I've never felt so alive." You gaze dreamily as you reminisce on your experiences. "I really feel like I took a piece of each city with me. I don't think I'm the same person I was before I left."
"Don't tell me the Y/N I know is a different person now."
You smile shyly. "I'm still the same me...just, a better version, I think."
"Didn't think there could be a better version."
Hyunjin gazes at you with his chin rested on his hand. Flustered, you try to change the subject. "What about you? Had any new experiences since we talked?"
Hyunjin straightens in his seat. "Not really, just been focusing on work as always."
"Are you still painting?"
"Of course." He nods.
"That's good to hear, the world wouldn't be as beautiful without your art."
"I beg to differ." Hyunjin laughs. "But thank you. I wish I had more time to paint though, I haven't done a big painting since the last one I showed you."
You slightly wince as you recall that night. It was a beautiful painting, and you're sad that it was now connected to the painful memory of your parting. Lifting your head to take a glimpse of his expression, you notice the corner of his mouth drop in a slight frown. Hyunjin quickly resumed his smile when he noticed you watching, and you found it heartbreaking.
"I'm sorry." You start. "About that night, I shouldn't have left like that. It wasn't fair and I was being selfish in the moment."
Hyunjin's eyebrows raise at your unexpected apology. "It's okay, don't worry about that. I get why you left, you needed space and I wasn't giving it to you." He feigns a smile.
"No, it's not okay." You look him in the eyes. "I was selfish, Hyunjin. I was a coward for running away instead of confronting my feelings, and I'm so sorry that I left like that. You were my friend before anything and you deserve more respect than for me to leave without talking it through with you. I've regretted that night every since, and I spent this whole year working on myself so I don't make the same mistakes again. I'm just—I'm so sorry Jinnie." You hastily blink back your tears.
Hyunjin stares back speechlessly. His lips slightly part as he's about to respond, before closing again in a toothless smile. He hums a sigh. "Thank you for the apology, Y/N. I appreciate you saying those things but, honestly I already forgave you before you even said anything. Yeah, I was heartbroken when you left." He pauses. "But more than anything I just miss my friend."
You beam at his admission, wiping the moisture off your face and returning his smile. You didn't deserve a friend like Hyunjin, after all you put him through, but you are determined to become worthy of his friendship. "I missed you too." You confess. "A lot. There were so many times I wanted to call you but I just didn't know what to say."
"Well, you can call me anytime you need." He chuckles. "So, are we good?"
"Absolutely." You grin.
You finish your dinner with Hyunjin, engaging in animated conversation during the whole meal. There was so much you had to fill each other in on, and you didn't want the conversation to end. You wanted to ask him so many questions, attempting to fill in the blanks of your relationship while you were apart in order to make up for lost time.
Hyunjin is curious of your whereabouts as well, beaming as he listens to your stories from abroad. You both are reluctant to leave the restaurant, but it was already five minutes until closing, so you figure it was best to head out now.
You both exit the building, turning to say your goodbyes outside the door. "Thanks for joining me for dinner today, I actually feel lucky that Yeji canceled on me." You laugh.
"I'd never pass on a hangout with you. It was great to catch up again."
"It was really fun. I missed...talking to you."
"I missed talking to you too." Hyunjin smiles. "It's getting late though, do you have schedules tomorrow?"
"Nope! I'm on a break from promotions so I can stay out as late as I want."
"Oh nice!" Hyunjin glances over your shoulder. "Do you want to grab some drinks then? There's a bar that's open late next door. We can continue our conversation."
"That sounds amazing, I still have more to tell you!"
Hyunjin escorts you to the bar next door, opening the door for you to enter. You take a seat in the corner of the room in a secluded booth, dimly lit with a single candle on the table. You order your drinks before jumping right back into the conversation where you left off.
"Were you invited to Yeji's birthday party?" You ask. You had just received your invitation last week. If there's one thing Yeji knew, it was how to throw a party, and given the social butterfly that she is, you know that the whole entertainment industry was probably invited.
"Of course I was. Yeji threatened to steal my paints if I didn't agree to go." Hyunjin rolls his eyes.
You visualize Yeji sneaking into Hyunjin's dorm to burglarize him and laugh at the image. What Yeji wants, she gets. "Cool, then I'll see you there."
"Yup! All my members will be there too, I can introduce you."
"I'd love to meet them! You told me so many stories about these boys, so it'd be nice to finally see them in person." You take a sip of your drink. "I think I'm gonna bring Lisa as my plus one."
You're hesitant, but there's a question you're craving to ask. "Are you bringing anybody?"
Hyunjin sets his drink down, some of the wet residue shining on his lips. "No, I'm not bringing anyone."
Relief washes over you, but your heart rate quickens at the desire to ask further. You take another gulp of your drink, fueling yourself with liquid courage. "So there's no one you plan to ask...as a date?"
Hyunjin chuckles. "None at the moment."
"Oh." You nod your head. "Cool."
"Is there anyone you want to ask...as a date?" He cautiously questions.
"No, no. I actually haven't been with anyone ever since..." You bite your lip in hesitation.
"Me?" Hyunjin asks.
"Yeah, you." You turn your face in embarrassment and down the rest of your drink, the cold beverage cooling your nerves.
Hyunjin laughs and does the same. Placing your empty glasses on the table, he calls the bar tender for another round of drinks.
"Well, that makes two of us." He admits. "I haven't been with anyone else either."
Your stomach flips at his confession. You're filled with butterflies at the realization that Hyunjin is still single and hasn't seen any other girls. Could it be that he still had feelings for you? Was it possible that there is still a chance for the two of you to work out?
You shake your head and rid yourself of these thoughts. Even if there are lingering feelings, you have no right to ask Hyunjin for a second chance, not after how he poured his heart out to you the last time, only to be ruthlessly shut down. But you can't help but think of how perfect it would be now. The timing was just right, now that you're back in the city. Not to mention your improved mentality. You were more confident now, and you're sure that if he gave you a chance, you could prove to him that you could do it, you could be the girl he needed. You wouldn't run away again. You could give him the love he deserved. You're not scared anymore.
But what does he think? Would he be open to giving you another chance, or is he still resentful for how things ended? Hyunjin said he forgives you, but is the hurt still there? You were an absolute wreck after you left him, and you don't know if he had suffered the same heartbreak. Why hadn't he dated anyone else afterwards? You wonder if he's moved on.
"Is there a reason?" You hesitantly ask. "Why you haven't been with anyone else?"
Hyunjin sits back in his seat, his fingers casually twirling the straw in his cup. With a sigh, he answers you. "I just...haven't been looking I guess."
"Is it because of..." Your voice falters.
"You?"
"Yeah, me." You murmur. "I still regret what happened, and if I was the cause of you losing your excitement for love—I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."
"Don't worry Y/N, it's not your fault." Hyunjin reaches a hand across the table to comfort you. "Sure, I was really fucking sad after you left. But you know me, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I don't think anything could stop me from aspiring to eventually find love one day. I just figured that it's more productive for me to focus on my career right now, that's all."
"I'm sorry I made you sad." You sniffle. "If it makes you feel any better, I was a complete mess after I left. I think I cried my whole body weight in tears."
Hyunjin laughs. "That doesn't make me feel better, but you don't need to keep apologizing. Yeah, I got rejected by the girl I really liked, but hey life goes on. I still have my charming good looks, don't I?"
"Yeah, yeah, you're handsome, we get it." You roll your eyes and giggle. "I shouldn't even worry about you, you probably could have any girl you want."
"Well, almost any girl." Hyunjin shrugs.
You bite your lip, cheeks heating up. You meant it when you said he could have any girl, and that included you. But do you dare tell him? Tension builds in your abdomen, your hands turning clammy as you teeter totter between revealing your heart to him or not. You knew once you first met him, that there would never be another man who could measure up to what Hyunjin was to you. He was everything you ever wanted, and you'd regret it for the rest of your life if he became the one that got away.
Filled with determination, you take a deep breath. "You could have me too, if you wanted to."
Frozen at your words, Hyunjin bolts up in his seat. "What?"
"If you want—no, I mean...I would like to try again with you, if you'd give me a chance." You sincerely confess.
"Y/N, I dont know if that's a good idea."
You feel your stomach drop at his reply. Still, you want to put everything on the line this time. You want to tell him everything that you couldn't say before.
"I know I messed up before. I acted like a child and I hurt you. But as much as I'd like for us to forget the past and be friends again...I don't think I could ever be just friends with you, Hyunjin."
"Y/N..." He looks at you with a pained expression.
"I'm sorry if I'm stepping out of line, but I need you to know. This time, I'll be honest with my feelings, I won't run away anymore, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you believe me." You gaze at him with conviction. "If you give me a chance, I'll prove it to you. But if you truly have moved on and don't see me like that anymore, I'll respect your decision and never bring this up again. I made a mistake and I'll own up to the consequences if your feelings have changed."
Taking both your hands in his, Hyunjin lets out a deep sigh. Slowly lifting his eyes to meet yours, you're terrified of what he's about to say, but you prepare your heart to take it all in.
"Y/N, when I told you I loved you, I meant it. Back then, I would've been over the moon to hear what you're telling me now. Even today when I spotted you through the window, I thought I was dreaming. I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't stop when I saw your face right in front of me again." Your breath hitches as you await his next words. "But after everything that happened, I just...don't know.
"You don't know...if you can trust me again." You carefully whisper.
Hyunjin slowly nods his head.
You can't blame him for being apprehensive, but you couldn't give up now, not when he just admitted that he still has feelings for you. You're convinced that you and Hyunjin are a perfect match, that you had the potential to really make it together. If he needed time to trust you again, you would patiently show him every day how honestly you wanted this.
"Hyunjin, let me prove to you that you can trust me again. We can take things slow, I'll wait for you for as long as it takes. I just can't give up on us if there's even a slim chance that you'd want this too."
"Y/N, there's nothing more that I'd want in the world than to be with you. I've wanted that for a long time, it's just gonna be really hard."
"I don't care how hard it is. Anything is worth it if I get to have you again." You bare your whole heart and soul to him. Though it makes you feel vulnerable, throwing aside all your inhibitions to grasp at any chance to convince Hyunjin of your sincerity was exhilarating. As scary as it was to open yourself up fully, the relief of getting to unleash your deepest thoughts and desires was refreshing. "Please Hyunjin, please believe me."
Hyunjin closes his eyes, deep in thought. His grasp on your hands tightens as he releases another deep breath, opening his eyes to look at you again. "If we were to try again..." Your pulse quickens. "You have to promise me that you'll be more open with how you feel. Tell me if you're having any doubts or if you need more or less space. Just don't keep me in the dark anymore."
"Jinnie, I promise you." Your heart swells with emotion. "I swear I'll be more open, I'll tell you everything. This year of not being able to talk to you made me realize how precious it was to have you there for me. I won't take you for granted ever again."
Hyunjin releases your grip to place his hands on either of your cheeks, using his thumbs to lightly brush away your stray tears. "If you can promise me that, then I'd like to try again too."
You're a blubbering mess with your face in his hands. Tears quickly escape your eyes as you struggle to control your stiffened sniffles. You wish you weren't such a crybaby at times, but no amount of self control could contain how happy you felt in this moment. "I promise I'll do better Jinnie, I really will." You whimper between your sobs.
Hyunjin just chuckles at the sight of you before him. "Okay Y/N, I believe you. Please stop crying, this should be a happy moment for us."
"But I'm crying because I'm happy." You pout, finally able to breathe normally again. Your heart is so full in this moment, you wish you could jump across the table and bury yourself in Hyunjin's arms. But since you were in a public area, you opt for something less dramatic.
"Can I kiss you?" You ask Hyunjin with pleading eyes.
He smiles at you. "Yes, you can." Hyunjin leans forward over the table and you boost yourself up in your seat to meet him. His lips were just as soft and gentle as you remember, and though it was only a short peck, it filled your whole body with warm tingles. After being apart from Hyunjin for so long, you wish you could kiss him for hours to make up for the time lost. However, you remind yourself that you should take things slow, and that still had to work towards winning his trust.
As you separate from his kiss, you blush as you shyly sit back into your seat, hands clasped together on your lap. "Thank you for giving me another chance Jinnie. I'm going to do things the right way this time."
Hyunjin quirks his head. "The right way?"
"The right way, like, I want to properly date you." You fumble with the material of your skirt. "We can take things slow so that I can gain your trust more and more, not like what we did last time. I just want to be around you and spend time together...outside of the bed."
Hyunjin slightly blushes at your proposal. His initial bashfulness was quickly replaced by a smug smile, however. "I think that's a good plan. But, are you sure you'll be able to resist me?"
You turn bright red at his provocation. "I-I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I think it's the right thing to do." You clumsily mutter.
"Okay, then I'll follow your lead." Hyunjin flashes you a toothy grin. "It's really getting late now, shall we head back?"
You nod and follow him out of the bar. After returning to the JYP building, Hyunjin waits for you to call a cab home. Once your ride arrives, you share a warm embrace as you bid farewell. Hyunjin opens the door for you to enter the car.
"Text me when you get home, okay?"
"I will! Thank you for tonight." You smile.
"It was my pleasure." He grins back at you.
Before he closes the door, you spring one last question on him. "Can I have one more kiss?"
Hyunjin laughs. "Of course you can."
Your connect your lips in a final kiss, moving your lips slowly against his, softly sucking on his skin. You fight the urge to open your mouth and welcome in his tongue, and you unfortunately part ways far too soon, as to avoid irritating your driver. Hyunjin waves to you from the sidewalk as you drive away, and you wave back.
You press a finger to your lips, still warm from where he kissed you, a sprout of desire budding in your abdomen. Now that he is back in your life, you are determined to keep him. You know you shouldn't get too ahead of yourself however, and that good things take time. You're not sure if you know the right way to win back his heart, and you're nervous that you'll mess up again. One thing you confident of though, was that it was now your mission to make him yours.