Harley gazed up at the darkened ceiling, lying flat on his back with wide, unblinking eyes. All he wanted was to go to sleep, to gain a moment of peace from his racing mind. That wish simply wasn't in the cards, as his stressful thoughts and the early hour of night were not allowing him to drift off into the clutches of slumber.
The thing bothering him most was what Jonas had said earlier on that day, how Harley was no longer welcome near Jonas' family, and even any occasion where Jonas wanted to see him at all involved an entire stealth mission to bypass his helicopter mother. He couldn't believe that the same woman who practically watched him grow up, ever since Jonas and him met in middle school and had been friends ever since, now saw him as nothing more than chopped liver rotting in the bright sun.
All because he was living in the Southside. He was a bit of an outcast before, but still a part of the community and at least tolerated.
Now he had been officially outcasted.
The feeling brought a sick churning to the pit of his stomach, and Harley sat up quickly in bed, swinging his legs over the side.
He wanted to seek out solace in someone, and his body seemed to have a mind of its own as he slipped through his bedroom door and into the darkened hallway.
Creeping towards Lucas' bedroom, Harley sincerely hoped he wasn't out doing a deal or getting into some other kind of trouble.
A soft glow of light illuminated the crack underneath Lucas' bedroom door, indicative of a sign of life, and Harley felt his heart rate pick up as he approached. Despite their recent run in, Harley still paused by the door, unsure of where he and Lucas stood. It was obvious Lucas didn't despise him anymore, but were they really at the level where Harley could just come running over whenever he wanted? Lucas clearly thought of his bedroom as a safe space for himself, and wasn't too keen on letting anyone into that territory.
Harley recalled just a few weeks ago, Daniel had tried shoving his way into the room to tease Lucas, but ended up flying a few feet backwards right onto his ass. The fabric of Daniel's shirt was balled up in Lucas' fist as the older man loomed over him with a vicious sneer on his face.
As far as Harley knew, Axel was the only person allowed in Lucas' bedroom, and even he always knocked and received permission before entering. Harley would certainly do that much if he did decide to go to Lucas, but maybe he shouldn't be a bother and just-
"Why the fuck are you just standing out there? I swear to God, Daniel-" a muffled voice shouted from inside the room, which quickly became louder as the carpet creaked with footsteps rapidly stomping towards the entrance.
Harley stumbled back as Lucas ripped open the door, eyes focusing immediately on Harley before his shoulders slouched and those furious grey eyes softened. Lucas' aggressive stance was suddenly disarmed as he stared down at Harley in surprise.
"Harley?" He breathed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. I'm just gonna. . ." Harley spluttered nervously, taking a few steps back and attempting to flee the situation. "Head back to my room. . ."
"Wait," Lucas called out abruptly, stepping forward to wrap his hand gently around Harley's wrist. "Why are you here?"
"It's stupid, really not worth it to take up your time. Don't worry about it-" Harley chuckled, waving his hand dismissively.
"I thought you were Daniel. He kept asking earlier to borrow money and I thought he was trying it again. I would never speak to you like that- I'm sorry," Lucas hurried, tightening his hand slightly around Harley's wrist. Swallowing thickly, Harley's eyes examined Lucas' remorseful expression and pleading eyes, before sighing deeply and conceding.
"I couldn't sleep. Just- a lot on my mind. I wanted to know if you had something to... help..." Harley explained sheepishly, staring down at his bare feet on the flattened beige carpet.
"Uh- yeah. I think I've got something," Lucas retracted his hand, retreating back into his room, but leaving the door wide open in invitation. Approaching slowly, as though he was entering a wild animal's exhibit at a zoo, Harley glanced around quickly to take in his surroundings.
There was a mattress on the floor shoved against the far wall, covered in a sheet with a thin, dark grey quilt on top, and a scratched up wooden nightstand beside it, where Lucas was currently hunched over and digging through. There wasn't much on the walls, aside from a few random decorations. On the wall opposite of the bed was a tattered poster with a tanned blonde woman in a hot pink string bikini, and on the wall above the nightstand, a topless fireman's calendar from two years prior. There was a Metallica poster in such bad shape, it looked like it had been ripped in half and haphazardly taped together again; but the most heart wrenching part of the room was a tiny, triangular Colombian flag taped to the wall right at eye level when laying in the bed. Harley had to desperately shove the image of Lucas lying alone on the mattress just staring at the flag out of his mind.
"Alright, this stuff is a lot tamer than what you had before. It's meant to help with sleep," Lucas explained, walking over to the single window in the room and wrenching it open. Harley closed the door behind him, before walking deeper into the room, only to awkwardly stand right in the middle unsure of what to do with himself.
Lucas threw himself down onto the mattress with a huff, resting his back against the wall behind him as he organized his rolling supplies. Harley watched on in interest, and Lucas paused to glance at him strangely, taking out the lighter he had shoved in between his teeth.
"Sit down," he patted the spot on the mattress next to his hip, and Harley startled slightly, walking over quickly to sit down before his nerves got the better of him. "What's going on?" He asked as he tapped out a familiar dried plant onto the rolling paper balanced in the palm of his hand.
"Just the heat, I think," Harley responded, eyes flicking up from what Lucas was doing to meet the steely grey eyes that were already boring deeply into him.
"Let me tell you something," Lucas said in a level tone, making direct eye contact with Harley as he ran his tongue over the edge of the paper to seal it. "If you go into this with anxious thoughts, you're not going to have a good time. So if I give this to you, it's on the condition that we work some shit out first."
Harley huffed, playing with his fingers in his lap. "My best friend, Jonas, told me that he has to sneak out to see me. His family doesn't want me around them at all. I don't know, just feels bad, I guess. Northside had been home to me for years, and everyone was so quick to turn on me."
Lucas hummed, the freshly rolled joint poised between his fingers as he stared thoughtfully out the open window. "That's a real shame. It's shitty that it has to be that way, but think of it like you're where you should be now. You're with the people they've also cast aside and labeled as a bunch of degenerates. No one will judge you here for that. Hell, especially not me. I'm a degenerate even to people of Southside," Lucas snorted, curious eyes watching the little bubble of laughter leaving Harley's lips. Warmth spread in Lucas' chest knowing that he was able to make Harley laugh.
"You're not a degenerate," Harley muttered softly, lifting his gaze as the corner of Lucas' mouth quirked up, before pinching the joint in between his pale, thin lips, flicking the lighter a few times before lining the flame up with the end. Harley was mesmerized at how easily Lucas was able to inhale the smoke without the bat of an eye, exhaling the plume into the room. The smoke still carried a strong earthy smell, but was a bit less intense than the other kinds he smelled when the others smoked.
"You don't have to," Lucas' voice, deepened with the smoke, spoke up. "If you want to just stay here and talk, that's okay. You don't have to smoke to be accepted here."
Harley smiled to himself, actually believing it now, when there was once a time not that long ago he would have fervently disagreed. Lucas' calculating eyes watched every expression of Harley's carefully, noticing the moonlight streaming in through the room creating a halo on top of his ashy colored hair. He took in the straight bridge of Harley's bold nose, the sharp Cupid's bow that was even more defined than Axel's. Lucas was so taken by the other man's handsomeness, he almost missed when that same angelic man spoke again.
"I want to try it again. I trust you," Harley nodded determinedly.
I trust you.
The words rang loudly in Lucas' brain, which was currently short circuiting with a combination of the weed and Harley sitting on his bed. He wasn't sure if he ever heard those words from someone else regarding himself. Lucas knew he had uttered those very words time and time again to Axel, but the same was never done in return. No one ever put their trust in Lucas, and that was okay, because Lucas understood it was better to give someone else the reins of responsibility. Even with the household and business finances, the thing he was best at, was heavily monitored by Axel.
But Harley trusted him, and he wasn't going to let him down.
"I'll admit, I'm still a bit nervous about burning my throat again. That seriously sucked and took an entire day to feel okay again," Harley laughed, but Lucas could see the stress setting in slightly in the way Harley set his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows.
Lucas sat up straighter, scooting closer to Harley as they stared into each other's eyes. "It's not going to be like last time," Lucas promised. "You just have to take a small inhale, and use the rest of your lung space to take in the air from the room to help cool down the smoke. Got it?"
"Uh-" Harley quipped in confusion, face screwing up in uncertainty.
"Or," Lucas interrupted. "Or- we can shotgun it. That way the smoke will already be a lot less hot since I'll be inhaling it first."
Harley nodded. "I trust you."
"You gotta stop saying that," Lucas huffed, shaking his head as he placed the joint between his lips again and flicked the lighter. "Or you'll be against the floor here in a second."
"Wha-" Harley looked startled as Lucas took in a big inhale, eyes widening as he felt a large hand wrap around the base of his neck, pulling him in quickly. His lips pressed against Lucas', who stuck his tongue out to lick at the crease of Harley's lips to urge them open. Harley's heart was beating painfully, and his breath hitched a little as he parted his lips, feeling Lucas breathe out the warm smoke into Harley's mouth. He felt a little paralyzed, as anyone would when Lucas was everywhere, and he felt the other man bring a hand up to rub at Harley's chest, reminding him to inhale. With a shaky breath, Harley did, feeling the smoke enter his lungs at a much better temperature than before, feeling comforted and warm rather than in a panic as he previously felt the heat burn his throat. Lucas pulled away a little, but still remained close, as the smoke slowly seeped from Harley's lips as he breathed out, blinking hazily up at the beautiful man in front of him.
"You okay?" He whispered, and Harley grinned, nodding slowly.
"Yeah, I feel really good," Harley softly muttered back.
"Me too," Lucas responded huskily, and they gazed at each other for a moment, before Harley leaned back in to replant his lips on Lucas'. Eager to reciprocate, Lucas began to suck on Harley's bottom lip, the other man attempting to get even closer by pushing his body up against Lucas. Their kissing grew in fervor as their tongues met, sliding against each other as Harley tangled his hands into Lucas' dark locks. Eventually their eagerness to meld into one another sent the two off balance, with Harley falling backwards on the mattress, bringing Lucas down with him as he refused to let go of the older man and pulling his heavy body right on top of his own. Lucas still held the burning joint in between the fingers of his left hand, careful to make sure none of the ash fell on Harley's face.
Harley slipped a hand underneath Lucas' loose grey t-shirt, feeling the ripple of every muscle underneath as Lucas pressed into Harley even more from his place in between Harley's spread legs.
With hooded eyes, Harley watched as Lucas sat up quickly, placing the joint in between his lips as he pulled his shirt over his head. His eyes took in Lucas' topless form hungrily before the man was on top of him again, making out with Harley sloppily as he toyed with the hem of Harley's own sleep shirt.
Without even thinking, Harley had arched his back to allow Lucas to shove his shirt up, gaining access to the expanse of skin which gained his full attention. Lucas abandoned Harley's lips to kiss across his chest, sucking on his collar bones and between his pectoral muscles and sternum, going lower to his stomach and eventually in between his hips, where a light happy trail disappeared into Harley's shorts.
In the blink of an eye, Lucas was straightening again, only this time he had moved back to detach himself from Harley, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.
"We have to stop. Fuck- we have to stop," he breathed raggedly, before taking a stressed inhale of the joint as Harley propped himself up onto his elbows, his brain slow to process what was happening with the arousal and weed.
"Lucas, what's-"
"If we don't stop now we're going to end up having sex," Lucas shook his head, sitting back up on the mattress against the wall and further away from Harley.
"Is- is that bad?" Harley asked with a hurtful pang in his chest. The question was simply reactionary to Lucas' comment, because when he thought about how close they were to having sex, Harley felt his face pale. He felt like he needed a lot more mental preparation for that than he had initially come to Lucas' room with, and he was grateful in the end that Lucas had stopped them.
"No," Lucas looked at him out of the side of his eye, a rather haunted look crossing over his face. "But you're not a one night stand. I don't want it to be like a one night stand."
Harley sat up more, his shirt falling back down to cover his torso, now littered in small, bright red spots. "O-oh. . ." He muttered dumbly, genuinely shocked by Lucas' answer.
"You deserve better than that. I don't want to fuck you in the degrading, feral way I usually fuck. I don't want to fuck you at all. I want to give you sex, not a fucking. Does that make sense? Am I making sense, Harley?" Lucas started to ramble, the joint bending slightly between his fingers as his desperate eyes looked into Harley's.
Harley blinked back in surprise at the distraught look on Lucas' face, lips parting slightly. "Yeah, I understand. I- I want that too."
Lucas nodded quickly, seemingly reassured as he sucked on the joint, glancing back at Harley as he exhaled, before throwing the quilt over to the side of the bed and laying on his back on the mattress. "Come 'ere," he stretched out an arm in invitation towards Harley, who crawled over to Lucas and settled down on the other man's chest, his brain now satiated and sleepy. Harley blinked heavily as he listened to the strong beating of Lucas' heart.
"Want some more?" Lucas questioned, lifting the joint up.
Harley smirked. "Sure."
Harley lifted himself slightly off of Lucas' chest as he brought the small paper tube to Harley's lips, watching intently as Harley closed his mouth around the joint and inhaled a bit, using the rest of his lung space to take in some of the surrounding cooler air. Lucas smiled at him proudly.
"There you go."
Harley grinned at the praise as he breathed out the plume of smoke, slumping back down on Lucas' chest. Lucas continued to smoke as Harley traced some of the tattoos on his arm, a sleeve of traditional black and white tattoos of roses, snakes, a cat rearing back on its hind legs- a collage of seemingly random imagery. Harley thought it couldn't look even as remotely good on someone else as it did on Lucas.
"Sorry 'bout earlier," Lucas muttered, tapping the ash from the joint into a coffee mug next to the bed. "I didn't mean to come off like that. You just scare me."
Harley's had reared back in surprise, eyes flitting to the side of Lucas' focused face, but too exhausted to pick his head up to look at him properly. "I scare you?"
Lucas took a moment to respond, choosing to take another drag as he contemplated what he wanted to say.
"Yeah. I'm a miserable, fucked up person who hangs out with other miserable, fucked up people because there's no pressure that I may hurt them. They're already hurt. You're not miserable or fucked up. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't."
"I might."
"You won't."
"Harley," Lucas sighed, rolling his eyes. "Don't be naïve. Go find a nice man who's going to college and majoring in, I don't know, fucking business or something. Maybe with a golden retriever he named Cooper or some shit."
"What makes you think I could be with a man like that? Did you forget I don't have a job yet, will probably never get to college, and my dad is in prison for life because he was a crime lord who sold drugs and guns? You think a man like that would even want me? I'm going after people in my own league."
Lucas pursed his lips, before a dazed grin broke through as he chuckled. "Alright, alright," he mused.
"Don't ever pull that self-sabotage shit around me again, okay?" Harley said with a light, sickeningly sweet tone, lifting himself up finally to look Lucas in the eyes.
Lucas hummed, caressing Harley's face and pulling him up to peck at his lips. He watched as Harley smiled softly, settling back down on Lucas' chest before his eyes finally slid closed, his battle against the weed finally lost as he fell asleep on top of Lucas. Lucas pulled the quilt back over the top of them, wrapping his arms around Harley as he dropped the rest of the joint in the coffee mug, resting his head back against his flattened pillow.
If he wanted to be with Harley, he had some shit to do first. Things he had neglected before when he didn't care about himself or anyone else.
~
This chapter is one of my favorites, hope you all enjoyed it as well! Leave a vote if you liked it, and I will see you in the next one!