I S A B E L L A
"Izzy?"
I immediately froze up when I heard that nickname.
Please don't be him!
Please don't be him!
Please don't be him!
I was basically pleading and praying in my head before finally taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it. I turn around with a small smile, my hand gripping the tongs for dear life.
Fuck! It's him!
"Brandon."
What are the chances of running into your ex of three years ago?
Considerably high seeing as though he's standing right before my eyes! And in a bakery no less!
He looked the same as three years ago, just more lean. His tan skin was glowing without any blemishes with a little stubble. He had hazel doe eyes with a straight nose and naturally thin pink lips. His attire was casual but formal; a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, denim jeans with said shirt neatly tucked in and black sneakers topped with a Rolex watch. He could pass for a pretty looking guy or handsome, if only it wasn't for that crappy hairstyle!
Whoever told him going blonde would be a good idea lied!
"Wow, it really is you. It's been a while since I've seen you, you look...different."
The hell would you have done if it wasn't me?
And of course I look different, it's been a whole three years since we last saw each other.
Back then I didn't care about wearing anything extravagant and barely put any effort into my choice of clothing or my overall appearance. I used to wear sweatshirts and basketball shorts with slippers, in public! My hair was always a mess and I looked like the walking dead with droopy eyes and dark bags circling them. I'll admit, I should've made an effort to at least try and look presentable but I was much more ignorant and didn't care about the weird stares I got.
"It sure has." I tell him with a bored tone.
I don't know why he called out to me and I don't want to figure out why either. I show him I'm uninterested and continue with placing a few croissants in a box.
"How've you been?" He asks.
Get the hint and leave me alone already! I have no interest in talking to you!
"Good."
"I see. Are you still a lawyer?"
Enough! What kind of question is that?!
Annoyed, I place down the box and tongs and face him.
"Brandon what the hell do you want?"
He looked around for a bit before finally giving a long sigh as if mentally preparing himself to word out his thoughts.
"Can we, talk? I was-"
"No, now leave me alone." I state and turn back around.
"Izz-"
"Oh for Christ's sake!" I yell and slam the tongs and box against the table harder than I intended to, drawing attention to me and this prick, I mean, Brandon.
Shit.
I drag him outside, a good distance away from the bakery and into an alleyway. It wasn't the most convenient place but good enough for me to tell him shit and not draw any attention.
"Get to the point, what the hell do you want?" I ask and fold my arms above my chest.
"I want us to get back together." He quickly replies in one breath.
Are you kidding me right now?!
"Wait, did you run into me by sheer coincidence or did you know I was at the bakery beforehand?" I question skeptically.
It doesn't make any sense. You happen to run into your ex three years later and than ask them to get back together? It's weird and uncalled for.
"Are you really calling me a stalker right now?" He asks with a raised brow.
"If not you, who else? Besides, the crime rate has recently increased so you can't blame me for being skeptical." I inform him.
"How the hell do you even know that?" Realization hit him as he answered his own question, "Oh wait, you're a lawyer, shit."
"Hmm, if you knew that why ask me if I was still a lawyer a few minutes ago? Are you that desperate to get back together to the point of starting meaningless small talk?" I question.
He avoided my gaze and looked the other way.
Pitiful.
That was the best way to describe him and he knew it.
Brandon has always been confident and walked with his head held high. Even if he got into trouble, he wouldn't be embarrased and would admit to his mistakes with a genuine apology if need be. I liked that about him when we dated. He was straightforward and wouldn't beat around the bush when some things needs to be addressed. As a result, we didn't have much disagreements and if we did it'd be resolved with a little talk.
"You have some nerve to come up to me and expect me to say yes to you." I inform him.
"I know I messed up and I can apologize to you as many times as you want, I'm really sorry. I've been trying to get over you after we broke up but it's hard. I've tried dating other women but it just...felt wrong. So, when I saw you inside I just..." He trailed off.
Why the hell is he making it seem like it was because of me our relationship ended?
I snapped.
He looked all sorry and sad now but sure didn't look one bit near it three years ago.
"You sure as hell didn't seem fucking sorry when your dick was down that girls throat at a party. And when I asked why you did it, what was your response? That I don't make enough time for you which led to you seeking for a so-called comfort from someone else."
"If you were unhappy with the way things stood the solution would've been talking to me. I'll admit, I didn't pay alot of attention to our relationship but that doesn't give you the right to do what you did. What made it worse was you trying to shift the blame on me. I may seem cold sometimes but I have feelings to and for the first time in my life, I felt betrayal because of you."
"And who knows? Let's say I do get back together with you, how can I be sure you won't do the same thing?
What will you do then? Come back three years later and tell me how sorry you are?"
He didn't say anything and was still avoiding my gaze with his head hung low. I walked closer to him and said in a calmer but clear tone:
"The reason why our relationship ended was because of your fucking pride and arrogance."
Yes he was confident and well spoken but that doesn't mean he was perfect in every aspect. Brandon hated when his pride got hurt and would find a way to hurt someone else's. It could've been a simple game of cards, he'd try and find a way to make someone else feel like shit if he lost. At a later stage, he started becoming manipulative and his arrogance skyrocketed. He never tried any tricks on me so I never really had a problem. But that doesn't mean I didn't step in when his mind games went too far when done on someone else.
Of course, the only time he tried playing that trick on me was when I caught him having sex with his so-called friend. I walked in on them, both of them were naked and all over each other. I didn't have any reaction and only stared at him dead in the eye before turning around and leaving without a word. To make a long story short, he said it was all my fault and tried making me feel like shit.
Immediately after that I realized that he was a total prick. It's not like I control his every move nor do I tell him what and what not to do. He's responsible for his own actions just like everybody else but tried blaming me for his stupidity and selfishness.
"Seeing as you have nothing else to say, I'll be taking my leave." I concluded.
I didn't wait for his reply and walked away.
Just looking at him irritated the living hell out of me. What made it worse was the fact that he had the guts to walk up to me for the most stupidest reason.
At this point I was basically stomping my way to the car with urge of turning back around and giving him a couple of smacks.
"Isabella?"
I swiftly turn around and see Luciel standing a good distance from me.
As usual, she had a smile on her face as she waved at me. Her hair was tied up in a little bun at the back of her head with a few loose strands. She was dressed in a plain white shirt and ripped denim jeans with white sneakers. A gold chain hung from her neck and rested on her chest with a few black bracelets around her wrists.
I watched her for a few seconds but for some reason her smile was slowly fading, her expression turning to worry as she lets her hand stop waving midway. Confused, I simply watched as she quickly walks over.
What she did next wasn't anything I expected. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I was dumbstruck by her action and froze up with my hands on my sides.
"W-what?"
It's than that I knew why. My voice cracked and my vision was turning blurry with tears pooling my eyes on the verge of escaping. I released a few sniffles which led to Luciel tightening her arms around me.
"It's okay, let it out."
With those few words, I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her torso and let out muffled cries with neverending tears streaming down my cheeks as I gripped on her shirt with all my might.
I hate this feeling.
I despised it with my every being.
I didn't like crying.
I didn't like being comforted.
I didn't like needing help.
All because of some bad memories which I managed to suppres from affecting me somehow found a way to break through at the most inconvenient time.
All of these made me feel vulnerable and weak. I was scared, scared that if I allowed a little comfort and reasurance, it would lead to me selfishly wanting more and becoming an open book. I didn't want to lean on someone for support and would rather be there for them.
Even so, the one time I allowed to be comforted and reassured, the one time I fully opened up was the same time I was shoved back into a bubble of insecurity.
Eversince then, I always acted cold when I needed to. I've managed to convince myself that if I let even a inkling of vulnerability slip, someone would always find a way to take advantage of me. It was unreasonable, even I knew that, but seeing as that thought kept me going, I stuck by it and never thought of trying to change my mind. I knew that everyone wasn't like that but I didn't know who those people were considering I always ran into the wrong ones.
"You feeling better?" Luciel questions in a murmur as she ran her hand through my hair as a way of comforting me.
My crying died down with occasional sniffles and my grip loosened on her shirt. For some reason I felt guilty and absolutely embarrased as she saw the state I was in. Hell, I haven't even known her for that long and she saw me crying, even Allistor has never seen me cry before.
"Sorry, I didn't mean t-"
"No need to apologize, it's okay." She affirms me as she places her hands on my cheeks and uses her thumbs to rub away the remaining tears.
"Wanna head to my place? My mom sent me some groceries but as you know I have absolutely no idea how to cook. So, would you be so kind as to help me?" She asks with flushed cheeks and looking away, likely embarrased.
A couple of days after I went to her place unannounced, I asked her if she knew how to cook. She just ended up staring at me wide-eyed and replied with a 'no'. I told her that I saw her fridge was pretty much empty with only a carton of milk and leftover fast food. Of course, I had no intention of snooping around or anything but only needed to put her remaining treats in the fridge.
Coincidentally, we were having another photography session which gave me an idea. I offered to give her lessons in cooking in return for her work. I was also planned on buying her treats and other gifts but I didn't tell her. If I did, she would've immediately declined my offer.
"Sure, I'll help you." I said, feeling a bit refreshed and led us to my car.