.·:·. that voice .·:·.
Do not cry. By crying, you give the people who want to hurt you power over you. If you cry, you will look powerless, defenseless, and people will step over you. When crying, you look ugly, and idols can never look ugly.
Do not cry.
Still, a tear fell down her cheek. Even if she had been holding back the tiny sobs that threatened to leave her lips, even when there were cameras pointed at her, a little small tear fell out. She wiped it and tried her best to look good, as if she wasn't being watched, as if her life was not on the line.
Of course the members didn't know. She couldn't risk it. The instructions were clear: go on stage, perform with the guys, celebrate the victory if you win an award... and then resign. Immediately after the awards ceremony ended, she needed to call Bang Sihyuk and let him know she was leaving Tomorrow by Together.
If one of the instructions was not followed, the consequences were too scary to even think of. She didn't want to think that somewhere in the crowd, hiding in plain sight, was someone pointing a gun at her.
They would not only shoot her, they would shoot them all. They would publicly assassinate the whole band if she didn't follow through with the instructions given.
So she would. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't let anyone know what was going on because she couldn't risk it.
With the money she'd earned the whole time being under the company, she would probably be okay. She could find a part time job and she would finally be able to see her mom.
If she thought like that until the very end, she would be fine. She just had to step out of the band. No biggie.
Except for the last detail in the instructions: no one in the band could know. She had to only call Bang Sihyuk and leave, she had to avoid contact with her members forever after tonight.
So Ara put a smile on her face. She put a big smile on her lips and held onto Beomgyu's arm tightly. She inhaled Kai's perfume and delighted herself with Taehyun's cute little "de-stressing" massage he would always give her shoulders before a performance.
She looked at Soobin looking at the members be loud and smiled. She also held eye contact with Yeonjun. Oh, how she loved Yeonjun. How she would miss him.
Yeonjun.
But her love was not enough. She knew she loved him with all her heart and that the other members were a part of her life she would never trade. Not unless their lives were at stake. How could she ever look at them if she knew she'd been putting their lives on the line?
She was not worth their loss to the world. They were all stars and she just wanted them to shine, even if it meant she'd have to stop twinkling in a little bit.
Because, how could she deny the world of their talent, their smiles, their hearts?
They would also be better off without her. She was a setback most of the times. She was not as talented in dancing as Yeonjun, nor she was a brilliant singer as Taehyun. She didn't have stage presence as Soobin or Beomgyu, and she didn't bring warmth like Kai.
She was the odd one out.
"Fay, look this way!", she heard the paparazzi yell and she smiled and held a peace sign for them.
Beomgyu and her did an arm heart and she posed cute pictures with Taehyun and Soobin.
She held onto Yeonjun's arm while they walked down the hallway and to their respective seats.
"You're awfully quiet", he scrunched his nose. "You don't have to worry. Our fans love us regardless of us wining or not an award", he patted her head lovingly.
"I know so", she mumbled back. This is what she would miss the most: her and him, the way it seemed they had been made for each other.
She'd miss the way her hand fit perfectly with his and the way his smell was so familiar and reassuring. She'd miss him so much.
Don't cry.
She took a seat in between Taehyun and Beomgyu, and the three of them talked nonsense until the awards ceremony started. Every single second in here was cherished, because she soon would not have them around.
After a few awards delivered, and after their stage show, they were backstage and Huening Kai approached her. The rest of the boys were showering, and since she'd been the first one to do so, she was waiting on a couch.
"You can't resign", her heart stopped. How– how did he know?
Her eyes grew twice the normal size and her panicked gaze traveled across the room before she launched towards him and tried covering his mouth with her tiny hands.
"Noona, noona", he mumbled and made her sit back in the couch. "It's okay, nothing bad is going to happen".
"How...?"
"I was on trash duty this week", he sighed. "I didn't mean to, but the crumpled paper was laying next to the trash bin so I took it to throw it away and I couldn't help but to read the word shoot, so I opened it and read it".
"Kai...", she sighed. "What are we going to do? You guys need shelter now, I... what do I do now?"
"Don't panic", he touched her arm. "Insuk is with the security guards now and Xylon came too, just in case we need to leave in a car that doesn't look like an idol's van".
"Okay, okay", she said but her heart was still pounding against her chest.
"It's going to be fine".
She nodded. Don't cry.
After the award ceremony ended, they were walking to the parking lot with a bunch of security guards, and Xylon waved them hello once they got to her car parked next to all of the others.
"Can I take her to a girls night?", she asked Jisoo. The manager looked conflicted but Beomgyu stepped in.
"Can I come with?"
"I kind of wanted some Xylon and Ara time alone...", she scratched her neck.
"Oh.. it's okay", he smiled awkwardly. "We'll see you at home. Don't bring her drunk or late okay?", he hugged Ara and then stepped into the car.
"Do you wanna go? You can just do it some other day if you want to rest, noona", Kai said.
"It's okay", she smiled. The fact that people had taken care of the threat made her feel like she could breathe again. "I'll see you all at home".
They all nodded and said goodbye before climbing into their van, and Ara followed Xylon to her car.
"I need to pee. Wait for me here, I'll leave the radio on for you", she smiled and Ara smiled too.
She bit her lip while the sound of whatever song filled the silent car, and she closed her eyes. No threat. No reason to be scared. Xylon would come, they would probably hang out at the girl's studio, and then she'd be home to cuddle her best friends and boyfriend.
"Took you long enough", she sighed with her eyes still closed, when she felt the car door open and close.
"Too long, if you ask me", that voice.
That voice... It was not Xylon's.
Incorrect quotes.
Ara: Guys, my friend here is bilingual.
Tae: Yes.
Ara: Which means he likes both boys and girls.
Tae: Ye- wait, what-
Kai: Ara, that's not what bilingual means-
Ara: Shhh, it's okay Tae. I still love you, man.
Tae & Kai: ...
Ara: bUT NOT LIKE THAT-
~~
Soobin: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
Yeonjun: beomgyu, probably.
~~
Ara: I owe you one.
Yeonjun: That's ok. You can just date me and we'll call it even.
~~
Beomgyu : *coughs blood*
Ara: Don't die!
Beomgyu: Don't tell me what to do!
~~
Yeonjun: Are you trying to seduce me?
Ara: Why, are you seducible?
~~
Soobin: You look mentally ill.
Ara: I am. Let's go.
~~
Taehyun: Kai! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a headache.
Kai: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.
This book will probably have 55 chapters at most, so get ready!
-baobab.