ROSALY
It was the first day of Shawn's tour, and Rosaly woke up nervous with the expectation of such a long trip away from home and in the state she was in. She had traveled with him before for concerts, but had never been on the road this long, and this realization of spending so much time inside a plane or bus going from one corner of different countries to another caused her some anxiety that was difficult to control. Her hormones were crazy, and when they didn't make her cry about something, they made her so irritable that nothing could improve her mood.
The nausea had worsened in the last few weeks to the point that it had disrupted her eating and caused her to lose weight. The only thing that seemed to improve her problem was lemon ice cream, and she had been eating kilos of it since she couldn't eat properly.
Rosaly suspected that her discomfort was related to her constant worries about Caio. After she became pregnant, she seemed to feel him close to her, as if he were hiding in some corner, spying on her in the shadows, waiting for the best moment to attack her. With that, she became paranoid for Shawn's safety, not worrying much about herself, although she thought a lot about the health of her unborn baby . This was another point she didn't discuss with her future husband, as if she feared that if she started talking, the threat would become something terribly real, and as long as it remained only in her head she could fight against the fear and terror that such thoughts provoked.
So going on Shawn's tour was a choice she had made out of fear. If she stayed, she would die of worry, for she hated the long distance contact, texting, and sparse phone calls that always occurred when Shawn was away from home, and under the circumstances, she preferred to be nearby where she could see and meet him whenever she could.
Rosaly just wanted to be careful not to smother Shawn with so much attention, because at the pace of her life at the moment, she didn't need a stressed and neurotic fiancée around, so she tried to restrict the amount of messages and phone calls she sent to him during the day, so as not to seem like she was watching him, or suspecting anything, because she knew that he would fatally mistake her excessive care for jealousy, and that was the last thing she wanted to happen.
Rosaly was afraid, it terrified her to think that they were in the sights of a madman, and the memory of Caio telling her that he would break up with Shawn the first chance he got seemed to linger in her thoughts indefinitely. She began to have nightmares again, and woke up crying, clinging to Shawn who tried to calm her down without knowing for sure why she was like this. Rosaly only said that she couldn't remember what she had dreamed about, while Caio's evil green eyes seemed to be in the dark of their apartment, mocking the recent happiness she shared with the love of her life, telling her inside her mind, that soon she would lose everything that meant the most in life.
Because of this, she had grown even closer to Shawn, and her moments of love in that apartment and between the four walls of her bedroom had become more frequent and intense, as if only the touch of Shawn's hands on her skin, and all the fiery kisses they exchanged were the only things that returned her balance, that kept her from falling into an abyss of despair that entered her heart when she let her guard down, and dark thoughts reached her.
Rosaly never thought she would love someone so much that she would one day put her safety at risk for that person, because between Caio hurting her and Shawn, she would rather be the victim than see the man she loved in danger. It was clear that she would not risk herself for nothing, for she had her baby to consider, and she also understood that Caio would never be moved by her gestational state. He had never liked children, he had always said he didn't want children, and because of this and other things, Rosaly knew that her pregnancy was no guarantee that Caio would spare her if they came face to face. Still, he would rather have her face him than Shawn, whom Caio would not hesitate to eliminate if he had the opportunity.
The few times she had talked to Shawn about this in the past, he had told her that Rosaly had nothing to fear, and that he would protect her, but, she knew very well that this was not so, because contrary to what Shawn thought, he didn't know who he was dealing with, and had no idea how nasty, Caio could be. Rosaly had tasted his poison in her own skin, and had no illusions about that mean and nefarious being she had once thought of marrying.
Shawn in contrast to Caio's meanness was the sweetest person Rosaly had ever met. He was truthful, and even when he tried to hide something from her in order to spare her any unpleasantness, he gave in because he didn't know how to lie. Besides everything, he was extremely passionate, and when they loved each other he gave her his all, sharing more than just sensations, it was his soul that opened up to her, letting her see everything that was inside his heart for her, then his act of love turned into something so wonderful and full that moved her immensely. To love Shawn like that was to discover that each day with him was a gift so precious and so dear, that she would never let him out of her life, unless her destiny decided otherwise. And now that they would have their child, their love had become even more blessed, that it was impossible for Rosaly not to smile every hour of the day as she imagined that their son or daughter would unite them even more when he was born.She didn't want to lose that, she couldn't lose any of that, so she had to fight the terror deep inside her that said that Caio was near and that it was only a matter of time before he would find her and destroy every one of her dreams.
She shook her head to keep those sad thoughts away, straightened her clothes, and while closing her suitcase, Rosaly heard her phone ring and was happy to see that it was her mother.
- Hi, sweetheart. How are you?
- I'm fine, Mom. I still suffer from nausea, but I'm slowly getting better. - Rosaly missed her mother so much, especially at that moment when she felt so vulnerable.
- Are you sure this tour will be good for you, dear? Wouldn't it be better to rest at home? Her mother's voice sounded worried.
- Don't worry. Shawn has made all the arrangements for me to feel comfortable, I even have an obstetrician at my disposal. He wouldn't let me travel with him if my doctor hadn't authorized it, and I didn't have all the assistance I need so I wouldn't be in any danger.
- I miss you. When you can, come visit me.
- I miss you too, Mama. Suddenly, Rosaly felt a lump in her throat, and wished she could tell her everything, but she knew she couldn't do that, because she would worry, which would worsen her depression. -, and Rosaly didn't want to see her in a bad way because of her.
- Take care, my love. Have a good trip, and don't forget to keep in touch with me. I want to know everything about the evolution of your pregnancy.
- I won't, Mom. I promise I won't disappear. I'll let you know soon. - Thus they said goodbye, and Rosaly thought of her mother with affection, and smiled as she remembered her sweet and friendly face. Ricardo had inherited a lot from her, while Rosaly looked more like her father, but despite some differences Rosaly loved her little family, and knew she was loved back.
She finished packing her bag, just as Shawn entered the room to see if she was ready, and noticing her sad look, he asked, hugging her around the waist
- What is it, my love?
- It's nothing.
I just talked to my mom and I got so homesick. - Her eyes watered and Shawn wrapped his arms around her even tighter as he said:
- Don't be like that, honey. I promise I'll take you to visit her as soon as I can. Or better yet, maybe we can bring her to spend some time with us. - He said, caressing her face.
- I doubt she will come. My mother isn't a big fan of flying. She said sadly
- Don't worry. We'll manage it.- Shawn concluded, kissing her on the lips and Rosaly reciprocated because she was already missing the contact of his mouth on hers.
- I think we'd better go, or we'll never get out of here. - Shawn said as he realized that the kiss had begun to warm his and Rosaly's skin, they would have no time to satiate the desire that began to take over both of them just because of that simple and passionate kiss.
It was always like that between them, this passion that translated into touch and caresses, and that took them beyond the limits of their senses. The kisses that were like fire in their bodies that consumed them without measure or foresight. It was so crazy to think that she had tried for so long to escape from that, and now Rosaly was hostage to his every gesture or word that always seduced her without her being able to help it.
She pulled away from him, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and let him drive her to the parking lot of his apartment building. They got into Shawn's car, and drove to the airport quietly, while Rosaly napped for most of the trip, for the effects of pregnancy on her sleep were already showing, for she could sleep more now, especially at night, and at least for that period it seemed that her sleepless hours were over, she just didn't know if she would have trouble sleeping again after her son was born.
- Wake up sleepyhead. - Shawn said, giving her a kiss on the forehead and another on the tip of her nose.
- I'm sorry, baby. It seems that my body lately has been reduced to endless hours of sleep. I didn't mean to sound so lazy. - Rosaly replied embarrassed.
- No need to apologize. You need this time off so that our child will be born strong and healthy, I don't mind in the least if I have to carry you to the plane," Shawn said smiling, and Rosaly was thrilled as she always was to hear him refer to the baby as our son. It gave her the assurance that Shawn was proud that she was pregnant, and that he could participate in the process step by step.
As they boarded the plane, they were greeted by members of Shawn's team, he helped her into the seat next to his, and while he checked his e-mails on his cell phone, one of his hands stroked her hair. Soon they took off, and the landscape outside the plane was breathtaking, but Rosaly didn't even notice, as she had already fallen back asleep.
SHAWN
Shawn finished answering his messages and looked at the seat next to him, where Rosaly was sleeping, and an immense tenderness made him caress her beautiful face, which in many ways made him wish he were a talented painter to reproduce on a canvas the softness and perfection of those features that belonged to the woman he loved.
She had secured her hair in a ponytail, but the unruly strands were escaping from the clip, and falling around Rosaly's face framing her cheekbones even more.
Shawn enjoyed watching her sleep, for this was a moment all his own in which he could look at her as much as he wanted, without Rosaly interrupting him because of her excessive shyness. How she could still feel shy in his presence, Shawn couldn't tell, because they had been sharing their intimacies for over a year, and he had seen her in all kinds of ways, dressed up, unkempt, with make-up on, without make-up on, overdressed, totally naked, and he couldn't imagine why she still stubbornly hid from him. What kind of imperfection did she imagine she had in that body he loved to explore in his most intense moments of love? And now that she was pregnant, she looked more and more beautiful, and he never tired of contemplating her when they woke up together in the morning. Her greenish brown eyes told him things he already knew, but still retained a certain mystery that he loved to unravel, every time he plunged deep into them as they made love. He lacked words to tell her how perfect his life was with her, and how his dreams were no longer lonely, because Shawn shared with Rosaly every thought, every little joy, even the songs he composed with her always in his mind.
The Shawn Mendes of before was now a complete man. He had left the pop idol shell behind, to assume his role in life for real, he was going to be a father and this fact alone already made the biggest difference.
Rosaly turned sideways in her sleep, perhaps looking for a more comfortable position, and Shawn noticed that she was shivering. He then took a blanket and covered her, while at the same time running a finger through one of her curly locks. He kept imagining that they would have a little girl as naughty as her mother seemed to have been as a child from the pictures she showed him, dancing around the house in ballerina slippers, her little pink face and curly hair reaching her waist as she moved with grace to the delight of her parents, especially he who would be as passionate a father as he was as a man about her mother.
Rosaly said she wanted a little boy with Shawn's features and personality, but he secretly wished it was a little girl, and that she would inherit her mother's amazing capacity to love and spread this love to everyone around her. Rosaly was unique in her simplicity, and loving her was a privilege given to him by the gods.
He could never thank fate and his life enough for having sent her to him, at a time when he was so lost and unbelieving in everything.Rosaly gave him a new soul and an incredible perspective on life. When he remembered the time he had spent with girls who had no essence, he recriminated himself, for he had had an empty existence, and had lost himself in the dazzle of fame. Fortunately, he had woken up in time, and managed to recover his true personality, and today he was able to move on without looking back.
Rosaly mumbled something, and when Shawn looked at her, he was apprehensive to see her face crisp with terror. She was going to have another one of those seizures that had been accompanying her in her sleep, and that caused him to wake up in the middle of the night with her desperate cries. He ran to her, and hugged her, whispering words of comfort and calm in her ear, and in a few seconds she relaxed, and went back to sleep peacefully.
Shaw breathed a sigh of relief, but his mind was still puzzled as it had been for weeks because of these nocturnal crises. There was something troubling her mind that consciously or unconsciously was leading her into this state of deep distress. He had asked her about the content of her nightmares, but she always said she couldn't remember. Sometimes he thought she was lying to him, just to not bother him, and he saw that shadow in her eyes again that he used to see at the beginning of their relationship, when he didn't know anything about Caio. Shawn often wondered if all that fear he saw in her eyes when she woke up from her nightmares had something to do with Rosaly's ex-fiancé. She had never mentioned his name again, but that didn't mean she had forgotten the terrible life she had lived with him.
Maybe it would be better to convince her to see a psychologist, so that she could better work on her insecurities and traumas. This could help her to finally free herself from the past, and all the bad things it had meant in her life. Because with all of this, he had been noticing her skin was paler than normal, the dark circles under her eyes that she tried to disguise with make-up so he wouldn't notice, because of the bad nights she had slept, and the tired look that was printed on her face when she got up in the morning. For this reason, having her around all those weeks would allow him to better observe Rosaly's behavior, and find a way to help her feel better and enjoy her pregnancy in a healthier way.
Shawn reached out and touched her face gently with his fingertips, and saw her give a half smile, as if even in her sleep she could recognize his touch.
Shawn wanted so badly for her to tell him what was wrong, because then he wouldn't feel so helpless and not know what to do. When they were on dry land he would talk to her. Rosaly could not continue to carry whatever was weighing on her shoulders alone. She could share it with him, she just had to trust Shawn enough, to allow him to do it for her.
His eyes began to grow heavy, and he decided to rest for a while, since they still had a few more hours to go before they reached Portugal, the first country he would perform in on the tour. So, holding Rosaly's hand he sat down in the armchair next to her again and fell asleep in seconds.
SHAWN AND ROSALLY
Shawn awoke to soft kisses on his face, he tried to escape and continue sleeping, he was so sleepy, but then Rosaly sat on his lap, exploring his lips with such passion, Shawn had no choice but to respond. She tasted wonderful at that time of the morning and was too delicious a temptation for him to resist. His hands traveled down her curves, to her breasts that were so juicy, and so beautiful even more so now with the pregnancy hormones that highlighted their shape in an incredible way. His hands opened her blouse, and slowly caressed each nipple, giving her gentle squeezes that made Rosaly moan, pushing her body forward for more contact. Then she sat on his lap, her tongue sliding down his neck, her teeth scraping his skin lightly. Shawn felt as if electric shocks were going through his body, and he craved Rosaly madly. They were inside an airplane with no privacy, and Shawn knew he couldn't just undress her and make love to her. Thus, he restrained his desires, and returned to kissing her on the lips in a less demanding manner. Rosaly protested, when he detached his lips from hers, and apparently she was having more trouble controlling herself than he was. Then she sighed loudly, resting her forehead against his, still with her eyes closed and her arms around Shawn's neck.
- Good morning, darling," Shawn said with his hands in her hair.
- Good morning, my love. - she opened her eyes and smiled at him. - I think we're almost there. Andrew came to warn us, but you were still sleeping.
- Are you okay? Shawn looked at her pale face.
- Yeah, just a little nauseous. - She tried to smile, but her discomfort was too visible.
- Are you taking the medication the doctor gave you? - she agreed .The skin on her face was cold, Shawn could feel her temperature in the palm of his hand flattened against Rosaly's cheek.
- Come on, you need to eat. - Shawn's mention of food made Rosaly's stomach churn even more, but she made an effort to make it go away. She sat down with Shawn at a small table in the plane for coffee. She pretended to eat, so as not to worry Shawn, and he didn't seem to notice that she hardly touched the food in front of her, settling for toast and a glass of milk. Shawn was checking his e-mails, so he missed the fact that once again Rosaly had not eaten properly. They landed at the airport in Portugal and went straight to the hotel. After settling their luggage in their room, Rosaly decided to get some more sleep while Shawn went out to sort out some things for the show. Lunch time came and went, and when Rosaly
woke up, it was already two o'clock in the afternoon. Her stomach was rumbling and she felt weak. She ordered a snack in her room and pineapple juice. She went back to bed, as the trip had exhausted her, and only woke up when she heard footsteps inside the room.
- You look better. - Shawn said, sitting down on the bed beside her, examining her face.
-I do feel better. - she said, laying her head on Shawn's lap as he tangled his hands in her hair.
- I'm sorry to leave you alone most of the time today, but I had to work out the last details of tonight's performance.
- That's fine. I know you won't be able to stay with me the whole time. This is your job, and I understand. - She said, looking into his eyes.
- I wish I could spend more time with you, but it won't be easy. - Shawn said.
- I understand, baby. I really do. - Rosaly replied.
- Well, in that case you'd better take a shower and get ready. It's almost time to go to the stadium. - Shawn said getting out of bed, running his hands through his hair.
- Okay. I'll be ready in a minute. - Rosaly stood up and the room seemed to spin. She closed her eyes and leaned against the headboard, while Shawn approached her worriedly.
- Are you all right, Rosely?
- Yes, just a dizzy spell. I think I got out of bed too quickly. - Rosaly explained.
- Are you sure that's all it is? - Shawn asked with his hand on her shoulder.
- Yes, it's over now. I'm going to take a shower and be ready as soon as possible.
- I promise I'll be ready soon. - Shawn replied, while Rosaly went to the bathroom in the bedroom, and Shawn went to the one next to it. They were ready almost at the same time.
Rosaly was examining herself in the mirror when Shawn approached her, circling her waist.
- Do you think prople can see anything yet? - Rosaly asked, staring at Shawn in the mirror. He put his hand on her belly and said:
- They won't notice anything, and even if they will, you would still be beautiful. - Shawn gave her a warm look, admiring her in her dark green dress, making her body tingle.
- If you're ready, so am I. - Rosaly said, evading the silent invitation his gaze had given her. She knew exactly what Shawn's gaze on her meant at that moment. They left the room and went to the elevator that would take them to the parking lot, and from there they went to the performance venue.
Shawn left Rosaly with Brian backstage as he came on stage, and began to perform his repertoire of songs specially chosen for that night. It had been a long time since Rosaly had seen Shawn on a stage and it was a wonderful experience.
His charisma and charm would win anyone over, and his interaction with the audience was electrifying. She remembered the first time she had seen a live Shawn Mendes concert, and the impact it had had was the same as now. To watch him like this was to see another face of him being revealed as if the stage brought out the best in him.
The songs were sung one by one and the audience accompanied him. It was at this moment of elevation that Rosaly saw him. Caio was sitting on one side of the audience staring at her with his evil predator's eyes full of disdain. Sometimes he looked away from Rosaly and stared at Shawn, then back at her again as if to make clear his intentions in that case.
Rosaly felt the air fail her, as she tried to breathe, her hands began to fear, and everything was spinning at an incredible speed. Suddenly the lights around her dimmed, until everything was dark, and before she passed out she heard Brian call her realizing her uneasiness and the safety of his arms didn't let her fall to the ground. Shawn arrived at the exact moment that a mess of people were surrounding Rosaly trying to bring her back to her senses.
He knelt down beside her, nervous to see that despite everyone's best efforts she would not open her eyes. He took her in his arms while shouting for Brian to call her doctor. Shawn then took her to his dressing room, while softly whispering words of affection and encouragement in her ear, thinking that maybe he could wake her up. Rosaly's doctor appeared immediately, and asked Shawn to leave him alone with the patient. Shawn obeyed, but was extremely nervous and worried about the health of Rosaly and the baby.
After fifteen interminable minutes, the doctor called him back, and Shawn noticed with relief that Rosaly was conscious, so the doctor explained to him what had happened.
- Don't worry, Mr. Mendes. Rosaly just had a sudden drop in pressure due to poor nutrition. She told me that she has had a lot of nausea and has been unable to eat. I will change the medication that the other doctor prescribed for her, and I will also give her a food supplement to help her nutrition. I believe she is anemic, but we need to do some tests to be sure. I will leave you two alone to talk, and leave the prescription on the bedside table.
- Thank you, Doctor.
Shawn looked at Rosaly, who looked so small on the bed in his dressing room, and she lowered her eyes looking embarrassed. He kissed her forehead and asked:
- Are you okay?" she continued with her head down and said:
- Yes. Can we go to the hotel? - her voice was strange and she didn't seem to want to talk much, so he didn't insist, because he preferred to respect her moment of fragility.
- Of course. Come on, I'll help you up.
He helped her out of bed, and Rosaly clung to his arm as they made their way to the car in silence, stopping only a minute on the way to talk to Shawn's staff who were worried about Rosaly, and to assure them that everything was fine with her.
When they arrived at the hotel, Rosaly still seemed strange, but Shawn didn't press her to say what she was feeling. He would leave the conversation he wanted to have with her about her diet until the next day, when she seemed less fragile than she was now. But as they headed for the bedroom, where Shawn had intended to make her rest, Rosaly broke the silence between them by sobbing and saying between tears:
- Forgive me Shawn, I didn't mean to put our baby's health at risk. I should have told you that I was unable to feed myself because of the nausea.
- Calm down, sweetheart. Don't be like this. Everything's going to be fine. The important thing is that you take care of the truth from now on. - Rosaly nodded and clung to his waist as if to feel more secure. Shawn couldn't imagine that all of Rosaly's excitement was related to the fact that she thought she saw Caio in the audience, looking at her with his deadly eyes. The dread paralyzed her just as it was paralyzing her now, but, she didn't tell Shawn again, because she wasn't sure if it was real or caused by her neuroses, just as it had happened the day they were in the jewelry store.
Had she been going crazy and imagined seeing Caio everywhere? She didn't want to think about it anymore, she wanted to forget and soak in the great affection that Shawn was giving her now. She raised her head, looked directly into his eyes, touched his face tenderly and asked:
- Love me Shawn. I need you so much." Shawn seemed reluctant, considering the state she was in:
- Rosaly, are you sure? Don't you think you should rest?
No. Please, I need you now. - she wrapped her arms around Shawn's neck. He still intended to resist, but her lips on his were so sweet and demanding at the same time that in a matter of seconds it set his veins on fire, and so he glued his body to hers, his hands stroking from the nape of her neck to just below her waist, where he pressed her lightly onto his erection that was beginning to show under his jeans. In one swift movement he unzipped her dress, and her warm body was already between his fingers, which touched her more and more boldly. As they kissed and let themselves be carried away by the sensations that overtook their senses. Rosaly helped Shawn remove his shirt, and as the skin of his chest was exposed to her eyes, she kissed and nibbled at it, her hands running loose down his abdomen to reach the zipper of his pants, unzipping it, and taking his rigid member in her soft hands and stimulating it until she felt Shawn moan and buried his lips in the curve of her shoulder, giving her gentle nibbles, marking her lightly. Then he moved his hand to Rosaly's bra, quickly pulling it off and doing the same with her panties. Then he placed her between his legs so that she could feel the full power of the arousal she was causing him. Then he continued kissing her until he laid her down on the pillow and covered her body with his own.
Thus his lips touched her in all the most secret and most sensitive places he could find, for he already knew her body so well that he knew what pleased her most. Rosaly also gave him pleasure in such an intense way that it was hard for him to control himself and not touch her in the wildest way possible, giving vent to his growing passion that drove him completely crazy for the taste of her in his mouth. But, Shawn knew he had to be careful, so he restrained his instincts, and loved her with all the voluptuousness of his heart, taking Rosaly to places where their bodies burned in the same fire, sharing incredible and unforgettable sensations. When Shawn penetrated her, letting her feel all the intensity of his love for her, Rosaly clung to him and only let go when their bodies relaxed after the explosion of pleasure that made them moan each other's names out loud.
The dawn found them still embracing, unable to separate, their eyes locked on each other shining with happiness, waiting for a future that was yet to come.