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[entry]
The girl every person in the school knew of, yet did not really take notice of as much as the shining Helen Lorani or sexy Satin Queens, had many secrets.
I almost thought her insecurity, desperation, nudes, and sleeping around with her supposed best friend's baby daddy was the worst, but no. Those were relatively tame secrets.
Her eyes were the key to her dirtiest secret.
When I snooped in her room, broke into the most predictable hiding place ever (a locked vault displayed in plain view... I mean, really?), and found the piece of paper I was looking for, I not only noticed correctly, I gained evidence.
Unfortunately, it made everything harder knowing I had something in common with Shannon Dragomir.
But not hard enough.
x
"Vesper!" Shannon called out to me, trying to get to me before I left with Avery. "Wait, can I please just talk to you?"
Avery stared at her, animosity in his eyes. "No."
Truthfully, I had already forgiven Shannon since in the end, I was the one who took the pills. It may have hurt that she never warned me or even let Gloria and them coerce me but I long stopped blaming her.
"You don't get to speak for her," Shannon snapped back defensively. I could see the hurt in her eyes.
I touched Avery's hand and he wavered. I knew he really wished all of this never happened, that his own sister wouldn't do the things she did and didn't. Avery wasn't one to hold a grudge, but I could tell he could not bring himself to tell her it was all okay. He wanted her to change, but Shannon Dragomir would never change so easily.
And he knew it. Which was why he had so much anger towards her.
I offered Shannon a gentle smile, unwilling to see another familial relationship of Avery's to break because of me. "I haven't been mad at you for a while, Shannon.
"I have," Avery muttered like the perfect model boyfriend.
Shannon's smile faded. "You're still angry at me brother, for what happened at that party?"
"No," Avery gritted out, expression darkening, "Not just for what happened at the party, even though it's clear you were in on Gloria's plan from the start. You may not have participated, but you chose to keep your mouth shut."
"I wasn't even in the same country, Avery. I wouldn't have been able to do anything."
"Oh, I don't know, maybe tell me?" Avery said, sarcastically, his silver eyes stormy.
Shannon crossed her arms defensively. "Vesper was smart enough to figure out her plan. That's why she didn't drink anything. She didn't need my help."
"Damn it, Shannon, that isn't the point and you know it," Avery angrily replied, stepping forward. I tugged on his hand, reminding him to keep the volume down, because we were now attracting more and more stares.
"Fine. I apologize for not being as much of a saint as you are! Are you happy now?"
"No." Avery's eyes went cold.
"Don't act like this, Avery. We both know this is about Tyson," his older sister shook her head, lips twisting. "You know I never meant anything I said. I didn't see him in the room, Avery, otherwise I would have spoken up for him."
Avery leaned down so that he spoke quietly for only the three of us to hear. "You're always a fucking bystander when it comes to family, Shannon. You're willing to spread rumors of your own brother to maintain popularity. Tyson would have punched anyone if they said even a bad word about you. And trust me, they do."
I winced at his harshness. "Maybe we should take this-"
"Well, I'm so sorry, Avery, that's what you want to hear, isn't it? It's harder for me to keep my position, you know," Shannon's eyes welled up with tears, her chest heaving up and down. "Of all the girls, I'm the least popular, Avery. I'm just always known as your sister."
"What the hell are you on about?" Avery said, incredulous. He swept a hand through his hair in frustration.
"You just don't get it!" Shannon burst out, startling even me. "Helen's the most popular. Satin's the most seductive. Kalina's the most fashionable. Gloria was the most intimidating. Even Vesper isn't known as Avery Dragomir's girlfriend. She's considered the most secretive, desirable girl of the school without even participating in the social scene! Do you know how that feels? Being nothing after putting in everything?"
"Shannon-"
"I tried being the nicest. I was made fun of. I tried being the prettiest. It was always Helen or Kalina and now it's your girlfriend. I tried being the most fun..." Shannon drifted off, eyes distant.
"And so you started dating Cole, even after he was with Gloria, and started attending parties every night. You even started the pills and relapsed three times, Shannon. You're not even clean right now," Avery listed, disappointment evident in his expression.
"So what?" Shannon cried, brining a manicured hand to her heart. "I don't regret it. And I don't regret what I said about Tyson."
Avery stopped whatever he was about to say at those words. I watched cautiously as he became very, very calm. His expression became closed off and I recognized what he was thinking. Shannon had crossed a line. "Take that back, Shannon."
"No," she whispered.
"Are you fucking serious, Shannon? This is exactly why I haven't forgiven you. You were here to apologize to Vesper and somehow, as always, you made it about you. Do you even care about Tyson? Or do you just want to make yourself feel less guilty for the things you've done?"
"This isn't even about Tyson, Avery!" Shannon finally cracked, unable to take it any longer. "This is about Vesper. It's about your new girlfriend, who you care more about than me! You're just afraid that what I did to Ella will happen to-"
Regret instantly filled Shannon's eyes the moment the words left her mouth. My heart stopped at the name. I flinched, stumbling back into Avery, who steadied me. He gripped my shoulders, as if he knew I was about to lose it.
What I did to Ella...
Avery was stricken. His pained expression didn't do anything to soften his quiet response. "When you realize no one around gives a damn about you, don't forget that you once had two brothers who would have done anything for you, Shannon. You did it to yourself. No one else. I don't want to ever see you again."
That was when I understood what a force Avery was. A couple of words just made Shannon the most hated person in the school.
Shannon's high position in the hierarchy was stripped in a matter of a few seconds.
And every person knew it.
When Avery turned away, his gaze flickered to mine. That was when I saw the hurt in his eyes. It surprised me that he'd even let me see that, that he'd let me in, even for a moment, but then he blinked and any trace of emotion was gone. It was an accident. He'd never trust me to see his vulnerability. I would only use it against him.
Avery pushed past me to disappear wherever he did and I watched him leave, whispers increasing in volume. He'd find me later, but for now, he wanted to be alone. I would be lying if I said it didn't sting just a little.
Shannon whispered in a rushed manner, "I just fucked up, Vesper. I just fucked up so bad." Her eyes were red, and now that everyone was in the hall, they could see it. "He won't ever forgive me. Avery won't ever forgive me."
I backed away, knowing I couldn't help her anymore.
She just lost any influence she had built up. She just lost all the popularity she craved in a few moments because of a couple words her brother said.
Her own brother.
"Wait!" She grabbed my wrist, pleading. "What did I do wrong? Why am I like this? Please," her words drifted softly, "help me."
"Shannon," I gripped her hand back, and her eyes met mine. They weren't silver, I realized again, even though she was a Dragomir... or was she? The urge to ask her pulled at me, but I knew I could not reveal my hand so soon. Not yet. Not in front of everyone. Instead, I said what everyone expected me to say. I hated how the words came out of my mouth. "I'm sorry."
She nodded faintly, slumping against the lockers, as if this was what she expected. When I turned away, a flicker passed through her eyes. Any hope she had disintegrated.
If I had brought her back myself, Shannon might of had a chance to recover socially, but now, in the eyes of everyone, even I turned away from her. The guilt inside of me pricked like needles, but I had to do this to her. I walked away.
Shannon Dragomir was alone now, just as her brother predicted, and judging from the eyes of everyone, she'd be alone for a long time.
"Avery Dragomir," I murmured, hundreds of possibilities running through my mind as I left the halls. "You really are always a step ahead of me."
He was in my room, waiting, staring out of the window. I locked the door, careful to make sure no one would overhear us. I knew all the blue bloods had their eyes on me, especially after Gloria's and Shannon's downfall.
"Your own sister, Avery," I broke the silence quietly. "You'd do that to your own sister?"
"I had to," he said, after a beat had passed. "There was no other option."
What he really meant was that there was no other favorable option for him.
"Why?" I asked him, quietly, even though I already knew the answer. "If you asked me, I wouldn't have ruined her like I ruined Gloria, Avery. If you asked, I-"
Avery finally turned around. "You would have, if you knew what she did. I did it for you."
He did it for me? I wanted to laugh. That was a sweet lie even I wanted to believe. "You did it for me, Avery? No. No, you didn't. You did it for her. Shannon doesn't understand why you did it. No one does, but I do."
"There isn't anything to understand." He's lying to me. Of course he is.
"After that scene, Shannon won't be able to last the day. You took away the only thing she wanted-- popularity-- and so she'll leave by tomorrow morning to transfer somewhere else. And everyone will think it's all because she angered you."
Avery shrugged, still not admitting a single thing. "She did."
"But you never lose your temper," I said out, scathingly. I had never been as certain as I was on this fact. "And you'd never do something like that so publicly. That was calculated, Avery, and we both know it. Why the hell won't you admit it?"
"I don't know what you want me to admit," he said, standing to his whole height. Unconsciously, he inched closer towards me, until he was so close, no one could possibly hear a word we would be saying.
"You're a liar," I said, softly, tilting my chin to look at him. "You didn't just do that to make Shannon change, you did it to protect her. You did it so that she'd leave the school and I wouldn't mess with her like I messed with Gloria. You drove Shannon away before I found out what she did to Ella because you don't want me to ruin her the way I ruined Gloria. You still love her," I hesitated, unsure if I wanted what I was saying to be the truth. My voice was small, pleading almost. "Right?"
I saw the battle in his eyes. He was struggling to decide if he should tell me the truth. He could lie to me right now, I realized, and this time, I would never be sure if he did.
"I can't ever lie to you when you look at me like that," he said finally, before holding my gaze for the first time I entered the room. "You're right, Vesper. You're always right."
His words squeezed at my heart. I could not control it. I had to look away from him.
I had to, because it was impossible to not feel a tug at the heartstrings when Avery Dragomir looked at you with his silver eyes. It was impossible.
I paused, searching his expression for any crack, any hint. Nothing. There was only one thing left to do. Pry. Avery knew the answer and I could get it out of him if he let me. "What is Shannon's secret? What is she hiding?"
"You already know," Avery swallowed, confirming what I had guessed the moment I met Shannon Dragomir. "Even though I ripped the evidence out of Ella's journal."
"She's not a Dragomir," I said, certain of it now. "Her eyes give it away. They aren't your mother's."
His mother was the one with Dragomir blood. His father was a cheater. It did not take much to piece it together.
Avery murmured. "Shannon would have liked Ella more if she knew her similar situation. Gloria would have admired Ella a little more too, I think."
"You're not mad I did that to Gloria, are you?" I asked, carefully. "I didn't exactly inform you."
"No," Avery smiled faintly, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You didn't inform me, but you wouldn't have, even if you knew I would gotten angry. You don't care what I feel and you don't care what the hell they'll do to you after this."
He's right. Again.
There it was again. The guilt that constantly weighed down on me. "Avery, I-"
"At least Gloria will finally have her son back," Avery said, changing the subject. "She'll be happy after leaving this place, more than all of us."
I forget that once upon a time, they were friends. That he cared for her. I think Avery will always care a little about all of them, even after everything. "I never said anything about letting her see her son."
"You didn't have to, Vesper." Avery sighed. "You may have threatened her to behave, but I think you would have let her be with her son even if she disagreed."
He was right. It was all a bluff I said to Gloria. I was never truly going to keep her son away, even if she refused. And it wasn't out of the goodness of my heart. It just so happened I remembered my nieces, and how it'd break my heart to see how much they missed their mothers when my brother took them away as punishment.
Her son was the only innocent person in this situation. Besides, I had enough evidence against Gloria to ensure a backup plan.
"I'm not a saint," I murmured.
"No," Avery agreed, "But you didn't expose the fact that she had a son with Cole because you couldn't do it. You showed her mercy when mercy didn't even cross her mind when she broke your ribs. Sometimes, you don't have to be a saint to do that. You just have to be good."
I stared at him, wondering if he'd still think I was good when I had thoughts of exposing his secrets before entering the room. But like him, I was a liar, and a hell of a good one.
"Maybe," I heard myself agreeing with him when something more than guilt settled in my stomach. "But I'd be careful, Avery. No one is ever always right. Not even you."
x
"Shannon?" I visited her at three am. She was packing, as I knew she would be. By morning, she'd be gone. Gloria had already left with nothing but a note she left for me. "I think it's time we talked. Really talked."
"What?" Shannon acted surprised, but we both knew it was an act. She had expected me. In fact, she may have been the only person who had. "Vesper, what are you doing here?
"People don't give you enough credit, Shannon," I said, softly, taking a seat next to her. "You always knew, Shannon, that I was Ella's sister, didn't you?"
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