TW // anxiety attacks, paranoia, minor self harm, swearing
Some of the paragraphs are formatted (aka there's a bit of space at the beginning) and some aren't ?? sorry about that lmao , I think I fixed it but idk, also the spacing is kinda weird sorry sorry ✌️
//
Days passed and turned into weeks, and Sabre slowly settled into the world he used to love so dearly. After a day or two, Sabre had been moved back into his old house in the village, which was bittersweet. He did miss this place, it’d been somewhere he dreamed of going during those months he was with Origin.
Except when he daydreamed about it, Time was there. Time was there, cooking warm treats or talking about who-knows-what. Sometimes Sabre would daydream of old situations again, thinking how it could’ve gone differently, for worse or better
He'd only been back in this house for 2 weeks, but during that entire time he refused to go back into Time's room. Maybe it's because Sabre didn't want to admit that his time-controlling friend was gone for good. That thought crossed his mind constantly, more so than ever now, but he always denied it. Time was strong, stronger than he was, stronger than anyone he knew. That meant he had to be alive, right?
Sabre didn't like thinking about it too much.
He'd spent the past few weeks doing frivolous things, helping around the village and the usual of being swarmed by steves whenever they saw him. It wasn't as bad now, but Sabre still swore the village seemed a bit busier since he got back.
Currently, Sabre was helping someone with farming. It wasn't all that bad, practically a piece of cake considering everything else he's had to do. When he was finally finished, he noticed someone staring at him.
It was a yellow steve wearing a cardigan, his hair messy and there were evident bags under his eyes, too dark for his age. They looked young. Not young enough to be a child, Sabre assumed they were around 17. They didn't say a word to Sabre, only stared holes into his eyes.
"Hey, uh-.. you need anything?", Sabre asked them as he approached. They seemed to finally zone back in when he said that.
"O-Oh, uh.." Sabre noticed he was gripping the sleeves of their cardigan like his life depended on it. They still stared at him as they stammered words out.
"No, I'm just- p-picking something up for a friend. I-.." He looked at the ground, as if he was scared of something. Sabre's concern peaked a bit more as he backed away.
"Hey are you okay?" He blurted out without thinking about it much.
The golden-haired boy didn't respond. He stared at the gravel on the path and looked back up at Sabre, noticing the huge scar on his face. Weird. He didn’t have that before.
"Y-You're Sabre. I saw you in the yellow kingdom when you came back."
"Oh. Yeah that's uh- that's me, haha.."
"..I-.. I'm Sorin."
"Oh! Hi Sorin.." Sabre paused, not knowing what to say next, "it's uh, it's nice to meet you. Do you actually need anything or just.. surprised to see me again?"
"I told you I'm getting something for my friend."
"Oh." Sabre was a bit taken aback by the sudden harsh tone.
Silence filled the air around them and Sabre matched Sorin's pattern of looking at the ground. Neither of them quite knew what to say right now, for very different reasons.
"I-I'm gonna head home now uh, nice to meet you Sorin!", Sabre blurted out again as he turned on his heels and briskly ran to his house, wanting to leave the situation as quickly as possible. He wasn't exactly antisocial, but months of living with only one person and a pig didn't help any of his social skills.
Sorin watched Sabre run into his house.
You know where he is.
Sorin shook his head as if it’d get rid of those thoughts. ’No, no I’m not like that. I wouldn’t..’, Sorin thought to himself. What was he thinking? He wasn’t a murderer. He was just a boy-
'A boy with no family left, I wonder who caused that?’
He stared at Sabre’s house a bit longer, sometimes seeing the brunette boy in the window. He ran around doing miscellaneous tasks, Sorin assumed he was cleaning his house or something of the sort. It made Sorin angry and he couldn't figure out why.
'Get back on task. Copper asked you to get something, go get it.'
/
Sabre mindlessly dusted the house down, trying to remember each spot he needed to clean. It wasn't as bad as Sabre expected when he first arrived back, and he figured the leaders of the village took care of it while he was gone. It was strange how everything was practically as they left it, but unsurprisingly since he never got the chance to come back and bring some items with him.
While on his cleaning spree, Sabre specifically tried to avoid Time's room. However, it didn't take long for him to finish with everything, and he had nothing else to clean but that room.
He hadn't gone in yet. He wasn't ready to see it empty, but temptation and curiosity were strong in him. It couldn't hurt, right? Slowly, his hand reached for the creaky doorknob, and he hesitated just for a moment before opening the door.
The room was the same as always, besides the evident amount of dust that had shown up in the past weeks. The bed was made, and the items were the same as before. At least Sabre assumed they were, he didn't remember every detail of the room. He didn’t know what he was expecting, everything was the same.
And yet..
It felt empty, it felt as if the walls had shrunk in without someone to keep safe. Sabre paused and looked into the closet. Jackets and shirts all of warm autumn colors, along with an apron and an extra brown jacket, which looked like his old one. He reached a hand out and felt the fabric of it. Soft, and sturdy.
The air longed with a familiar feeling that Sabre missed, although he couldn't quite name it.
There was something lying in the side of the closet, seemingly hidden away. Sabre noticed it and curiosity filled him again. Why would Time hide something from him? Was it a surprise? No, it might've just been something Time forgot about.
Only one way to find out.
Sabre reached down and picked up the item, immediately recognizing it was clothing considering the texture. It felt softer than usual, a sweater. He pulled it out of the closet and saw a better look at it. It wasn't exactly a sweater, it had the same texture but was open like a jacket, with a few buttons near the bottom to close it a bit.
The sweaters base color was almost the same shade as his hoodie, with splotches of blue surrounding them, although at some points it looked more like the green was the splotches instead. The blue was more present around the sleeve, making the colors look like lilypads and water. One of the pockets had a frog crocheted behind it, making it look like a frog was popping out of the pocket.
Sabre chuckled, it was cute, but unfinished. The crochet stick was hanging by one of the sleeves. Although Sabre was wondering why he hid it, usually he'd put it in a drawer or on his desk until it was done. Sabre paused and glanced at the earth patch on his own shoulder.
The colors looked incredibly similar to the ones on the sweater. Sabre glanced and looked back again, then again, and then it clicked and he began to chuckle.
It was a gift. Time thought his earth patch was a pond with lilypads. Guess it wasn't out of the question he didn't know what the solar systems looked like; maybe this world had a different looking planet too.
Sabre chuckled and smiled to himself until a slow realization fell over him: he'd never get to actually wear it. Time wasn't here.
He looked over it again slowly, and looked at all the loose yarn hanging from the sleeve. If he could guess, Time probably started this before Elemental died, and then after he died Time left without this and-
The pieces fit together in Sabre’s head quickly. It almost felt like a knife to a heart, one that felt numb and dull. He slowly put the sweater down and sighed, then craned his neck up to look at the ceiling, his arms fell a bit limp around his sides. A knife to his throat might hurt less than this.
Time, his best friend, and one of his greatest friends, was floating away somewhere with pieces of him floating around who knew where. Sabre knew that, realistically, it really wasn’t his fault. The world had been ending, and Origin himself told them it was how it was supposed to happen.
So why did he feel so guilty? Time always had to take care of him when Sabre couldn’t do it himself, why couldn’t Sabre have helped Time? Wasn’t that fair? Time had to deal with his cries all the time before, why did he have to suffer more now?
’It’s not your fault for this.’ Sabre thought to himself, hoping if he told himself it enough, it’d make some sense.
Time hadn’t been a bad person in the slightest, bad things happened and he just reacted. Even so, he was always a good person, he never did anything wrong, at least not to the extent Sabre did. So why did Time get the worst fate?
’He’ll find himself again.’, he thought as if it was a beg.
/
The night arrived and slowly passed, and Sorin couldn’t help but be restless. It was 3:29 am, and he'd awoken an hour ago after falling asleep. His thoughts had gotten worse, and he hated himself for it. He hated himself for a lot of things now, at least he thinks so? He didn’t feel any of this around Copper.
He couldn’t help but keep thinking back to their conversation at that village. It ate away at his memory until Sorin couldn’t take it anymore. Reluctantly, he gave in and decided to go look at the village again.
’At the house, in the house.’
No, not inside. He wasn’t insane. At least he thinks he wasn’t.
He got up from his bed and walked to the closet, yanking out a jacket. A small sheen of wool rested on the edge of the hood. He smiled a bit at the fuzziness of it and put it on.
’It’s a quick check to make myself shut up. That’s it.’, he kept thinking to himself as he teleported to the village. Sorin hated lightning, but he just wanted to make this quick. Get in, calm down, leave and go back to bed and forget about all of this. Everything would be alright.
’Everything’s already alright.’ Sorin insisted to himself. He walked to Sabre’s house reluctantly, with a trudge to his step. The last thing he wanted was this, but now here he was, outside Sabre’s goddamn house.
’What now, smart guy? Stare at a piece of wood until your problems magically fade? Think idiot, think.'
With a shaky hand, Sorin grabbed the doorknob. Oh god he was terrified to enter. Why did he want to enter? What would he get from that?
’Go on, you want to’
He did?
He did. Right?
Sorin’s hand gingerly turned the knob and the door made a small click to open. It honestly surprised him, Sabre just left his door unlocked? It was almost unsettling.
A horrible possibility crossed Sorin’s mind. What if this was a trap?
No, no that didn’t make sense. Right? Sabre didn’t know, they only met today. It was a coincidence, nothing else. Sorin automatically opened the door, almost as if his body was moving on its own. He noticed one of the lights was on upstairs, and suddenly he had control again. Panic overridden anything else.
’Why am I here-?! I need to go, I’m gonna die-’
’Get a weapon, grab a knife.’
Sorin shook and grabbed a knife off a counter. It looked a bit dirty, but who cares? He needed something to defend himself, he needed to get out, he needed to kill-
That thought slammed into his head like a brick. No. No. He wasn’t a bad person, he wouldn’t kill anybody. He just wanted to stop being in pain, to stop thinking he’d die every day because of this-
’Kill the killer, stop your pain. You can do this. You’ve been in pain for so long, make him feel the same.. Isn’t that fair? An eye for an eye, it’s only fair…’
That thought made Sorin sick to the stomach, because he almost agreed. Why didn’t he do that? He lost everything he loved to Sabre, to the hands of him. It was fair. Sure, a bit morally questionable but…
Sorin swallowed the growing guilt in his throat and slowly took a step up the stairs. The house was dark, leaving Sorin to navigate through his dark vision and his surroundings. He never ran, never took a step too harshly. One room was lit up in orange light, but the door was closed. Sorin didn’t dare to touch it.
That left a few other rooms. One was a bathroom, with a cracked mirror, and the other two were bedrooms. Sorin explored them slowly. One was stark and empty, the closet closed, the bed was made, it all seemed neat. The other was more or less the same, but the bed was messy and unkempt. An orange and yellow bracelet was lying on the desk.
Sorin inhaled, and turned to look at the brighter room. It was at the end of the hallway.
He walked to it, putting his ear against the door. No noises, not even a hint of breathing. Sorin waited for minutes, but the only noise he heard was a creak on the bed. He kneeled and looked through the crack at the bottom of the door. No one was standing there. Sorin took what he hoped wouldn’t be his last breath, and slowly opened the door.
He peeked his head through the opening, too scared to enter. Finally, with a mix of relief and fear, he spotted Sabre resting on top of the bed, clearly having passed out. Sorin took a step in, then another.
’...This is it?’
He couldn’t tell if he was upset or relieved; all of this still felt like a horrible dream. He suddenly was fully zoned back in, no, more than that, he felt hyper-aware of everything. Sorin stumbled back from the door, back into the dimly lit hallway. He needed to get out now. Right now.
It didn’t matter how loud he was, he rushed down the stairs and paused at the kitchen.
’Their weapons. Take them. He can’t hurt anyone again.’
Sorin agreed with himself, or was it a voice? No. He wasn’t insane. Was he? Sorin barely thought, he couldn’t take everything sharp so he settled to just take the knives. He disregarded butter knives and such, only taking the truly sharp ones. One of his hands began bleeding from the fast grabbing.
Something fell onto the ground, and Sorin’s heart dropped directly to his stomach. He didn’t stop to think what, he turned on his heels with his bloody hands and the knives and ran out the door, barely thinking to shove it shut as he left.
He was gonna die, he was gonna die-
White hot lightning picked him up and took him away, bringing him back to the safety of his house. He collapsed onto the hardwood floor, the knives scattering along the ground. Copper would tell him to breathe right now, but it seemed easier when he was around. Sorin’s breath felt like lumps, heavy and hot in his throat. He curled into a ball on the floor.
’Aw, was that your father?' He had said.
No. Stop. It was over. He was safe.
It wasn’t real, none of this could be real. Sorin had to be losing it, was he? No, he- Fuck. Fuck. He felt like his organs were twisted in a knot. He wanted Halian. He wanted his dad back. He wanted Copper. He wanted somebody.
The memory burned his brain as if it was a candle, melting away like wax. The loud ringing of lightning filled his ears as everything felt like it was warping away. Sorin gripped his own sleeves as harshly as he could, but he couldn't feel grounded at all. The world dances around him, leaving him colorless and bleak.
One last time, his body took control instead of his brain as he grabbed a knife and stabbed it into his arm. The pain was horrible, but it shot through Sorin's anxieties like a bullet and put them to rest, at least for now. The pain from the wound hadn't kicked in, leaving Sorin feeling numb.
Tiredness and exhaustion mixed into the soon-to-grow pain, and Sorin crept into bed, pulling the knife out of his arm and yanking his pillowcase off his pillow. He didn't bother taking his jacket off as he wrapped it around his stab wound.
As soon as Sorin rested on his bed, he fell dead asleep.
/
Almost 3k words wow lmao
Anyways how was it