~ Karlie's POV ~
I arrived at my mothers house late that night. It was a spur of the moment decision. But ten minutes away, into the town, there is a rehab facility that has had some pretty great results.
I don't know what exactly made me decide to go there. I had been doing good with Taylor and the doctor that she had found me.
But I felt like I was about to slip up - majorly - and I couldn't disappoint Taylor like that again.
I could remember how she was when she first found out...
I just couldn't risk it. Not again.
She means too much to me. This will hurt her. Leaving all her hard work and support for somewhere far away.
But I need her to know and understand that this is for her. So that I will never have to hurt her when I get better - for good.
Just the thought that I was nearly at that place again that had nearly cost me Tay was enough to make me check into rehab.
And that was something strong. I didn't even want to think about the other possibilities if I had completely relapsed or done something to hurt her bad.
It wouldn't have ended well - I know that much at least.
My phone rang when I got here. It was Taylor.
I wanted to answer. I really did. But if I spoke to her I wouldn't be able to talk because I would just cry when she got upset that I left.
I was going to write her a letter once I checked in and settled.
I heard that they had a postal service for patients. It's the best thing I think. It's still personal and emotional, but it's also manageable.
I let the phone ring out. She would hear from me soon. I had to let her know I was safe. That I hadn't done what she's probably thinking I had done.
Mum was cooking me dinner tonight before I checked in in the morning. She thought that I was just dropping by on my way to a shoot.
It would break her heart if she knew that I still had this problem. She knew I'd had to when I was younger.
But she had laid for counselling and treatment up until I was sixteen and there was a time when we had all thought it had gone away.
I just couldn't bring myself to tell her that she hadn't succeeded after all. I couldn't do it.
We had a roast dinner and an array of pies for desert. The kind of meal o always dread because they make me feel the worst.
I told mum I was going to bed early because I had to be up and gone by five. I was going to get up that early, but just to get out of the house. I wasn't checking in until ten.
After dinner, I went off to have a shower.
The temptation was too much.
Before I knew it I was kneeling over the toilet bowl with my fingers down my throat.
Like a routine - like I was getting dressed for bed or brushing my teeth - I did it again.
I had to have one last time before I went in and got better.
For old times sake.
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~ In the morning ~
I had the best mum in the world. I swear.
She was up before me and had made me breakfast - yogurt and muesli (she knew how much I loved it) - and packed my lunch for the 'shoot'.
I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her I'd come visit her in a little while.
"You promise?" She raised her eyebrows at me and asked. "Ever since you got famous, I never see my baby girl anymore. I have to share her with the world." She pouted and tucked the hair behind my ear.
"I promise mum. I give you permission to hunt me down if I don't. I'll bring a friend with me too. There's someone I'm dying for you to meet."
"Oohh. Do I finally get to meet this mystery person that you can't stop talking about on the phone?"
I blushed. Almost as if someone else was there to hear her talking about what I do. But there was no one. It was just the two of us. "Yes, mum. Promise. You'll love them."
"Honey, if you love them, then I will too. Now get out of here. Go have fun at your shoot. Call me."
"Alright mum. I love you." I kissed her on the cheek after she hugged me.
"Me too, Karls."
The sun was just lighting up the sky when I stepped out the door.
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Author note. Sorry it's so short. There's just more to come and I needed to break it up somewhere.
Hope you like it.
Thanks for everyone that reads, comments and votes.
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