It's raining a bit.
The small little droplets hit the windows of the car making the silence much more bearable. Carter and I got into an argument while finishing up the drive to get here.
It was a stupid argument and I wish I did not bring it up. I also wish he did not bring it up. He is so stubborn.
For most of the drive, he was quiet and I knew he was thinking about the coma and what he endeared. Sometimes, people remember all of it or remember a snip bit of the coma. Whether it was the sounds, smells, and even touch of people who were conscious.
The entity really did a number on him, I can tell through how exhausted he is. I won't lie and say I am any better, but I have been through this before.
Literally, my entire life the entity at my old house did this to me. In the middle of the night, it would create false realities in my dreams and they would seem so real.
It was an out-of-body experience that you will never forget. You can feel and see many different things, but they are not real.
The only way you can ever get out of it is if someone who is conscious can reach you somehow. Kind of what I did with Carter except I could see and feel him, most people can't.
The weakness is always right in front of you. There is just a split second where you can grab it and pull it like your life depends on it. Your life does depend on it and the entity knows that.
Sometimes, the entity or negative spirits will let you go and then come back for more. It is how they feed to get more energy.
Possession is different than what the entity was doing. It is much more complicated than forcing someone into a fake scenario in their head.
When we crossed state lines, Carter was feeling kind of whipped. I asked him if I could drive and he said there were only a few minutes left then we could rest.
"Carter, let me drive."
"No, there are only a few minutes left," he turned down a side road. "We will rest and drive again when it is light out."
"Can you at least tell me how you are feeling?" His eyes have been on the road for a while and he hasn't said anything to me.
The silence beyond the radio fills the car again and I sigh in frustration. He tenses his grip around the wheel and sighs.
"There is nothing to tell, I am fine." That is complete bullshit, he has a concussion and broken ribs. He is not fine.
"Babe, you are in pain, I can tell," he shakes his head at me.
"Don't do that," I know he is trying to shut me out.
Again, silence fills the car, "don't do what?"
"Don't shut me out," I raise my voice a little.
Irritated, "I am your girlfriend who not only is trying to help you but just went through the same thing you did."
"It is not the same thing," he breathes.
His nostrils flare, and I can almost see the steam about to come out of his ears. Grabbing the water bottle from the center, he opens it and chugs the rest of the water.
Carter throws the water bottle in the back seat. As he does so, he loses control of the wheel for a second. The car jerks, but he manages to regain control.
"Fuck, Carter!" I yell at him, "this is what I am talking about, you shouldn't be driving."
"God, just shut up!" He pounds the side of the wheel, "Sarah, shut the fuck up!!"
I lower my head down avoiding eye contact with him. He faces me instantly and tries to reach out to me, but I wither away from his touch.
Looking out the window, I see a sign that says 'rest stop- 2 miles.'
Carter's heavy breathing brings me back to look at him. He no longer has tense hands, but his jaw is tight.
His jaw ticks a few times before he releases his jaw.
"Baby, I am sorry," I turn away again, not liking his tone.
He tries to reach out again, but I swat his hand away, "Sarah, please look at me."
"I saw some things in the coma that I don't want to talk about, right now." He opens up, "it had to do with you and my mom."
We pull into the rest stop and he parks the car next to the building where the bathrooms are. The headlights turn off and he unbuckles his seatbelt.
Carter has never yelled at me like that. He is always so sweet to me, making sure I am comfortable and safe.
"I am going to the bathroom, do you want to come with me?" He takes the keys out of the ignition and puts them on the dash.
I shake my head no, "alright, I will be right back."
He walks over to the little entry point labeled 'restrooms' and turns around to look at the car. Waiting there for a moment, hoping I will join him.
When I don't, he turns back around and enters the bathrooms.
I sniffle, "he didn't have to yell at me."
Granted, I just yelled at him. He was mean to me though, he told me to shut up.
Rain pallets start hitting the car and I hope he comes back before it gets too bad. There wasn't any rain in the forecast.
There was a blanket in the backseat and I grabbed it. I placed it over Carter, he fell asleep about twenty minutes or so ago.
I can't sleep, there is too much adrenaline going through my veins. Scared I might see something out there, I keep watching just in case.
After he fell asleep, I turned the car on. The radio started to play and I kept it at the same station as it was before. It was playing some of Carter's favorite songs and I wanted him to be comfortable.
Laying the seat back, I sense a warm front coming from the vents. The heat isn't on, so I don't know where it could be coming from.
Probably from Carter, he sleeps with his mouth open and snores. I won't tell him that, he will just deny it and say that is actually me.
I close my eyes and try to focus on the rain. The soft snoring of my boyfriend keeps me awake, but the rain adds a delicate temp.
With my eyes closed, I can feel the warmth begin to spread from my hands to my arms, and over my stomach. Switching to my side, I hear a light-clicking sound.
I assume it is Carter moving, but he doesn't say anything. The clicks appear again, opening my eyes, I see nothing.
Hmm, just go to sleep. You are freaking yourself out.
Imagining the warm rain kissing my skin brings me to a stull. The sound slowly drifted away, leaving both me and Carter vulnerable to the outside enemy.
Leading you down into my core...
Where I have become so numb...
Without a soul...
Dim lights counter the ground around me, leaving me with nothing, but the clothes I am wearing, Carter's clothes fill with air and I am bruised to the ground.
"Oof," shaking my body from the horrid encounter, I see a shadow looming by the tree across from me.
Taking another look, I see the car with a sleeping Carter in the driver's seat.
"Stay away from us," the shadow comes forward and takes slow counted steps.
I place my hand in front of me, "that is enough."
The power from the shadow is small, but I can still feel it. The energy was used to create this. A smaller entity has been born into the living world.
This power seems familiar almost like I have seen it before. It hides away from me, but I can still see it. It does not know I can see it.
My spirit is sleeping somewhere cold...
Until you find it there and lead it back home...
A whisper of a boy's voice echoes in my head. The kind where you must be sleeping to hear.
I am dreaming of this encounter. The entity is in my dream, I can almost taste the lingering feeling.
Call my name and save me from the dark...
Bid my blood to run...
I don't feel scared or in danger. The entity referred to itself as a spirit, the spirit of a lost soul is the most difficult thing to manipulate because it so more powerful than anything.
Not even an entity can suppress it. They have to be a willing participant before they have died, even at this point if the person is not dead they can lead you to them.
The unconscious can fall in and out of reality. Most of the time, the person or spirit can not tell what is real and what is not.
In my case, I can tell because of the experiences over the years, but for someone like Carter, this can take up to decades to master.
If an entity is controlling a conscious person, it can send them to a false reality. They can piggyback them until they have enough power to control them whenever they want to.
Manipulation is always used to do so. Soran was a victim of this, he is now out of control.
Before I come undone...
Save me from the nothing I have become...
Sarah...
"Sarah," whispers from the spirit.
"Sarah, wake up."
"Huh," my eyes shoot open to find Carter's face over the top of mine.
He brushes my hair back and when he sees me alert, he pulls back. "Honey, are okay?"
"Mhm," I sit up straight and look around.
The bright light of the sunshine blinds me and I squint away. Rubbing my eyes, Carter hands me something.
I take the bottled water he hands me and drinks a good amount of it. As he continues to stare at me, I screw the cap back on.
"You were talking and I didn't know if you were," he looks down. "If I was in a coma or something?"
He nods, "it scared me."
"I am okay," I bring my knees in the seat and sit Criss cross apple sauce.
"There was an entity or spirit that was trying to communicate with me," I tell him.
I am honest with him, "it could have been an event that sparked the entity or it could have been a spirit who is lost."
"Either way, I am okay and it won't hurt us." He nods and sucks his teeth in, "do you think it was a trick?"
There is a chance it was the entity using a spirit to track us, but Carter's dad is the tracker. It must be something else, or being using someone else.
There really is no telling what is what anymore, there are just so many different factors that play into this. I want to just relax for a moment with out thinking about an of this.
"No, I think it was just another random thing that knew of my abilities." I correct myself, "I mean something or someone hoping someone would communicate with them."
I open the car door and step outside on the dewy grass. Stretching my arms and legs, I let out a yawn.
The glorious ray sof sun beam down over the wet grass and damp concrete. Feeling a bit better than yesterday, I take off the sweatshirt. The warm sun feeling nice on m skin.
"What are you doing?" Carter faces away from me, "are you changing?"
Confused, I look down and see my naked bare chest out in the open. I hurrdily put the sweatshirt back on and cover my face.
"Oh, shit," I close the door. "I'm sorry, I thought I was wearing a bra- an old habit."
I clear my throat and he is still turned away, "you can look now."
"Are you sure?" I nod my head, but roll my eye because he can't see me.
"Yeah," he shly turns and peaks at me.
He blinks a couple of times, "okay well we should go the bathroom and start heading out."
Embarrassing shit always happens to me. I know he is my boyfriend, but still. He clearly did not want to see me naked or other wise he wouldn't have said anything or turned away from me.
Carter has seen me vulnerable before and we have made out and touched each other, but he hasn't seen me fully exposed like that. Just yesterday, he ate me out.
He probably didn't like it or something. Maybe it smelt or tasted bad, I heard from gossip groups online that hygiene is important with a boyfriend or even to prepare yourself.
When we started dating, I made sure to always keep myself clean in case we did do anything. However, I have been in a coma for a few weeks and so has he. I only took a shower yesterday.
There wasn't a razor or anything I could use to shave, people my age at school said that they shave or keep is short down there for this reason. I hope it wasn't gross or weird for him.
Walking out of the bathrooms, I see him standing outside of the car smoking. I walk up to him and he takes it out of his mouth.
I lean up to kiss him and he pulls away. Stone cold eyes look back at me. Carter places the cigarette in his mouth again, but this time when he exhales he blows it up out of my face.
"I don't want you to taste the tabacco," he spits out the tobacco that had fell into his mouth.
He reaches down to my height and pecks my lips. I try to push my lips more firm to his, but he pulls away.
"Why are you pulling away? I want to kiss you," my feelings now hurt.
"I did kiss you," he is right. He did kiss me, but not the way I wanted, "kiss me more."
He slides the cigarette down to the ground at stomps on it. Carter takes his hands and cups each side of my face.
Staring intently at me, he searches my eyes for something. With no luck in finding whatever he is looking for, he brings my lips to his.
The blazing spark of the kiss sent shivers down my spine to my toes. His rough hands sculptured my face and felt like pudding in his capture.
The only way I can describe kissing him is like a sunny day of Summer, knowing there was no school tomorrow. The freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want.
The endless stretch of late nights and early morning to see the sunrise and set. Hoping that one day you could do this every day and not have to worry about anything at all.
Lightly, he pulls away. His bright smile warms my heart.
This feeling brings me back to life.