It was another late night hangout for the two of you. This had become a regular occurrence as of recent, and Hyunjin looks forward to it every time. All those movie marathons with you cuddled on the couch, sharing a blanket and resting you head on his shoulder were the best endings to his days.
Any chance he got to spend time with you, he took. Somehow, you even made grocery shopping fun. He loved teasing you when you couldn't reach something on the top shelf, grabbing it himself before dangling it in front of your face. You'd angrily pout after you grasped at the item, only for him to pull it away, causing you to stumble into his chest. You'd give him playful punches on the shoulder, but were quick to forget your anger once he returned the item to you and apologized with a kiss on the cheek.
Painting sessions with you were his absolute favorite. You told him you'd never painted before, but you were open to trying it out. Hyunjin would teach you techniques step by step, sometimes coming over to your easel to guide your hand in his. Whenever you mastered a technique, you'd lift your head to look up at him with a proud smile which filled his heart with so much warmth he thinks it'll burst.
Moments like these made Hyunjin's heart soar. He's a sucker for romance, and having you as the focal point of these instances caught him falling deeper into his fantasies. Of course, he loves having sex with you as well. He couldn't imagine a body that fitted more perfectly with his. It's like you were sent from the heavens, a complete manifestation of his innermost desires, beautifully made to suit his every need. You were everything he wanted, and you were even things he didn't know he wanted before.
Lately though, he's found himself wanting more from you, wanting more of you, and not in a sexual way. He gets lost in daydreams of taking you on dates, showing you his favorite cafes, waking up together and spending the whole morning giggling in bed. He wonders when his fantasies got so domestic, when he started having desires to take care of you. He wanted to cook your favorite foods whenever you had cravings, to tuck you into bed whenever you were tired after a long day of schedules, to tell you how breathtaking you are to him whenever you felt insecure.
He thinks you're the most beautiful when you're roaming his place in nothing but an oversized T-shirt of his, the sight of you giving him urges to take you in his arms and attack you with kisses. Whenever he experiences these impulses to drown you in his affection, he has to remind himself to slow down. He must remember what Minho told him, that moving too fast will just scare you away. Losing you would shatter him, he likes you too much. He wants to be around you always, but he does his best not to pressure you. After all, you've made it abundantly clear that you're not looking for a relationship. The last thing Hyunjin wants is to make you uncomfortable with his feelings.
But right now he's struggling. It's getting harder for him to hold back, especially tonight when he greeted you at the door, only for you to immediately jump into his arms. His surprise soon dissipates as concern takes over. He doesn't know what's wrong. All he knows is he will do whatever it takes to make it right. He would give you anything you needed, anything you wanted, all of him, if that would make you happy.
Staring down at you, he sees that you are close to tears. Still, you won't tell him what's wrong. That's okay, he knows just the thing to cheer you up. Hyunjin confidently leads you out the door, determined to make you feel better in any way he can.
—
"You remember?"
"Of course I remember."
Hyunjin remembers every moment he's shared with you from your first meeting until now. How could he forget? Sometimes he wishes these thoughts of you didn't occupy his mind, but these images of you have been etched into his brain against his will. He couldn't forget you even if he tried, not a single thing about you could ever escape his memory.
As you both lay side by side on the cool grass staring at the night sky, he's sure that this moment will haunt his thoughts for long after you've gone. He feels so connected to you, yet so far away. No matter how tightly he holds you, you're never close enough. Maybe his desire for you runs so deep that you never will be.
Hyunjin tilts his face to look at you. You're gazing at the stars with contentment, a picture of serenity and peace. You thank him for taking you biking along the river, but little did you know, the only thanks he needed was to see you smile at him like this.
"I always want to see you happy." He tells you.
"Me too. I always want to see you happy too."
"I'm always happy when I'm with you."
It's true, Hyunjin's happiest days are the ones he gets to spend with you. Your easy-going attitude and comforting nature always brought him joy. He's never felt so relaxed, so himself around anyone like this before. As he gazes into your eyes, he can't find the words to describe how much you mean to him, how much he cares about you, without crossing the line. He's fearful that if he tries to explain his thoughts, they may be too much for you, so instead he says nothing at all, opting to enjoy your comfortable silence.
After a while, you finally reveal what's been upsetting you. You hardly ever express your emotions to him, so he gives you his full attention.
"She thinks I'm some delicate little girl, like I'm not strong enough to handle my own emotions."
"Why does she think that?" He wonders.
You're far stronger than me. I can hardly handle my emotions when I'm around you. You probably don't even know how hard it is for me. Hyunjin thinks to himself.
"It's because of stuff that happened in the past. I was stupid back then and always fell too hard for guys who didn't feel the same about me. I ended up getting my heart broken a lot and she would always help pick up the pieces."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He said in a soft tone.
Was this about Jaehyun? Hyunjin remembers how tense you were during that one Music Bank recording when you had to introduce his group. What did he do to hurt you? How deep was your relationship that your heart was broken after it ended? Did you love him? Could you ever love me?
"It's okay. Honestly I'm glad it happened. I get why she's concerned for me, but I've grown and changed now. I'm not going to open my heart up to someone so easily anymore."
Hyunjin studies your face with a curious look. "It sucks that you've gotten your heart broken before, but I hope you haven't given up on love."
Please, tell me there's a chance.
"I don't think I'll ever give up on love. I just have a hard time choosing the right guys." You chuckle.
Relieved with your answer, Hyunjin rolls onto his back, looking up at the sky. He wonders what kind of guy you're looking for. Hyunjin knows he could be that guy for you and more. He would never do anything to hurt you, he would treat you like his queen. He can't understand how so many guys have taken you for granted in the past, not caring for you as much as you did them. From the day you've met, he's done nothing but care about you and he didn't even mean to. If you let him, he's sure he could prove it to you. "It might be easier than you think."
You appear deep in thought after his comment. Had he said too much? Hyunjin watches you, your eyebrows furrowed in concern and your hands tightening on the patches of grass below you. You looked worried again, probably overthinking what he said. That wasn't his intention, tonight was supposed to be about helping you calm down, so he quietly reaches over to give you a soft kiss. You seemed to relax after that, and he's glad. Pulling you up and taking your hand in his, you both make your way back to the dorms.
—
"What do you want to do?" Hyunjin asks.
"You."
There it is again. The whole purpose for your friendship in the first place after all, was sex. This whole night, Hyunjin has felt closer to you than ever before. You had shown him a new side to you, a softer, more vulnerable side, and he cherishes the tender moments you shared. He hopes those moments are as meaningful to you as they are to him, and wishes that you see him as more than just a guy you sleep with.
Hyunjin would've been completely content with just cuddling with you until you fall asleep, enjoying your close proximity and soothing touch. But, when you look at him with those lustful eyes, hooded with sensual desire, he can't suppress his own impure urges. His thirst for you is uncontrollable, his greed for your body is endless.
When you pull him into a kiss, he can't hold himself back. You're irresistible to him, he's addicted to your very essence. He wants to drown himself in your lust, connect your body to his in every possible way, and fully give in to his carnal desires. Tonight is different from other nights, though. Tonight, Hyunjin wants not only to explore your body, but also your mind. He wants to know what you're feeling, if it's the same feelings he has too. He doesn't know how to ask you with words, so instead he communicates through his touch, delicately stroking every crevice of your body like it's a work of art. His fingers graze your skin, leaving trails of heat wherever they travel. Tonight, Hyunjin wants to make love to you.
The room falls silent while you both share this intimacy, the only sounds coming from your bodies moving together. His vision is hazy, like he's watching you in a different dimension, in a different world where only you two exist. A world where Hyunjin doesn't need to worry about the consequences of his actions or the implications of his behaviors. A world where it's just you and him, and nothing else matters.
Hyunjin pours his heart out to you with every motion and every kiss. Time stops as you both reach your highs, engulfing you in ecstasy. Even when the feeling wears off, Hyunjin wants to stay in this moment. He takes your lips in his, slowly moving against them, softly kissing you until this memory is burned into his brain. If you were going to occupy his mind anyway, he might as well indulge himself and create the images of his dreams with you.
When he finally pulls away, the sensation of your lips still lingers on his. Hyunjin looks at you like you are his whole world, everything he needed was laying right in front of him. He wants you, he wants you so bad. When will you be mine? He wonders what it will take to have you, to keep you. But for you, he'll be patient, he'll wait for you to open up more, to trust him and to let him in. Until then, he'll be here, silently waiting for you, being whatever you need him to be until you're ready. Before long, you both drift to sleep, neither saying another word.
—
When the morning comes, Hyunjin wakes up to realize that you're gone, and with you went the homeliness and warmth in his chest. The bed felt cold, starkly contrasting the passion from last night. As the scenes from yesterday play in his head, Hyunjin wonders if it all was a dream. He feels like he's in a dream every time he's with you, you're just too good to be true. His train of thought is interrupted however, with a barrage of buzzing from his phone. Reluctantly, he rolls over to see where all the notifications were coming from.
7 missed calls from his manager, 20+ messages, and dozens of emails were flooding his screen. What could be the reason for all this? He wonders what urgent matter was at hand. Hyunjin immediately calls his manager back, worried that something serious had happened.
"Hello? Hyung, what's going on?"
"Is it true?" His manger questioned.
"Is what true? What are you talking about?"
"Didn't you see the headlines, Hyunjin? You're all over the news."
Removing his phone from his ear, Hyunjin takes a look at the daily news. There it was. Littered all over the page were pictures of him and another woman, the top headline reading:
"[BREAKING] Stray Kids' Hyunjin rumored to be dating Aespa's Karina"