𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘
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𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓
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𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙕 𝘽𝙔 𝙅.𝘾𝙊𝙇𝙀 𝘽𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙍𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃 Janelle's airpod pro's as she sat with her knees tucked to her chest on her car roof. She stared ahead at the dimly lit beach water where the moon transferred its light rays as a source, the salt smelling air had a light breeze in which she inhaled the clean air.
"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘢 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘺,
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘢 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳
𝘕𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘻
𝘕𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘻
𝘕𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘻
𝘕𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨"
Janelle mumbled the words to the lyrics, she wasn't having the best of days that day. Although she never translated a bad day meaning a bad life, she still felt upset at herself. A week ago, she had had a patient who had been trying so hard with her husband to get pregnant. They had finally succeeded and she was what everyone thought 8 weeks along, the wife felt intense tensing in either sides of her body and was worried about her baby. Janelle had set her up on the table ready to peform an ulstrasound to siff out where the problem was.
Low and behold, there was no baby to begin with. Instead that baby that she thought she had seen, was really a lump showcasing that she had stage 2 ovarian cancer and she would never be able to conceive. The wife had an IED like episode and projected all her anger onto Janelle for giving her false hope and crushing her and her husband's dreams of expanding their family.
Janelle hadn't stepped foot in the clinic since.
The weight was still clinging onto her watching the couple sob as their hearts slowly shattered. Janelle had let a few stray tears go but immediaty wiped them, she couldn't dwell on the situation but instead prayed for the distraught couple.
One week ago:
"This is all your fault! You bitch!" Mrs Phillips yelled attempting to leap at Janelle. "I can never have a baby because of you! What will I do know? You gave us false hope t-that we told our family and friends we were expecting-" Mrs Phillips's voice cracked as she melted into her husband's hold and just wailed.
Janelle stood there with a stuck look on her face, her eyes widened, her hands beginning to get clammy and nausea running speedily through her body. She ran out of the clinical room and to the staff room vomiting into the trash can whilst Nia held her hair away from her mouth and face. Tears streamed down Janelle's face as she began to cry too.
"I-I am so sorry." Janelle shook her head as her shoulders moved vigarously. "I didn't know, Lord forgive me."
"Janelle it isn't your fault. This job isn't easy and it most certainly won't get any easier. All you can do is pray and never dwell onto the situation." Nia's eyes teared up as she cradled Janelle's face.
"Boss said why don't you finish early and come back once you're ready." Nia stated wiping her tears and mouth with two spearate tissues. Janelle only nodded and gathered her things and left in humiliation. As soon as she locked her car doors once she sat in the drivers seat, she sobbed again.
When she got home, she sobbed.
In the shower? she sobbed.
Kitchen? she sobbed.
Present day:
Janelle wiped a few tears before getting back in tune with the music that she didn't notice Nehemiah in his car watching her. After the unexpected and unannounced lunch date, the pair exchanged numbers and for a past week, Janelle had been leaving him on read or delivered. To be fair she ghosted everybody. So much that she hadn't even prayed for a full ongoing 9 days. It may not seem like much to many but to Janelle and possibly any other Christian, the drastic drift from God could be seen with a spiritual eye miles away.
Nehemiah and Janelle had only just recently started to share locations and her being at the beach downtown wasn't a suprise. It was her favourite place to go and she even mentioned it. It was either the beach or any sort of environment where books were involved.
Nehemiah opened his doors and leaned against her black chevy camaro. He watched her inaudibly mumble the lyrics to what he could see, a J.cole song.
"𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴?
𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦
𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵,
𝘐 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦
𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳.
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘱 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨.
𝘘𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬, 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥
𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦
𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯' 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳
𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘩𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵
𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘣𝘵
𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬𝘴
𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘝 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘢 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘹
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴
𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩*𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴
𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦
𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳
𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯' 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘮𝘦
'𝘓𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘧*𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺
𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯' 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰𝘵
𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯' 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬
𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯' 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘣*𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘻."
"Listen to him Janelle." Nehemiah stated watching her jump and clutch her chest in fear. "Nehemiah let me know when you are near so I don't have an anuresym before my time. Thank you." Janelle sarcastically stated placing her airpods back in her ears until Nehemiah took them out.
"As I said, listen to him Janelle. You ain't gon' ever be happy until you love yours." He stated once again before laughing at his corny attributes which erupted laughter in Janelle possibly knowing that she needed that.
"You are so corny, but thanks for the laugh." Janelle chuckled scooting over on her car roof making room for his large body to fit. Nehemiah hopped on effortlessly and wrapped his hand around Janelle's waist to pull her in closer and never removed his hand. Janelle took that as an invite to lay her head his shoulder where he then placed his head on top of hers.
"What's been going that you've been ghosting everyone?" Nehemiah spoke softly. Once she didn't answer, Nehemiah hummed as he felt her body let go of everything she held in. Her shoulders slouched as her head turned more towards the crook of his neck. Nehemiah comfortingly rubbed her side and pulled her in a little tighter.
Two minutes of Janelle's emotions being all over the place, they finally came to a halt and all was left were her sniffles. Nehemiah turned her face to his and wiped her nose and tears, he kissed her forehead, he after took ahold of both her hands. "Wanna pray about it?" He asked making Janelle nod in desperation.
The two both bowed their heads and closed their eyes as Nehemiah began to pray for her healing, strength and prosperity to fill her future. "Father Lord today we bow our heads and commit this day into your hands. Father we pray that you refill us with strength and continue to stand by our side through all hard times. Father I pray that you place Janelle into your hands and comfort her during her season of healing and trials, we thank you as we pray. Amen."
"Amen." Janelle sniffled once again getting emotional by the prayer. She engulfed Nehemiah into a hug whispering a small thank you into his ear and kissed his cheek nefore he offered her air pods back. She placed one into his ear as they listened to 𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘑.𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘦.
Janelle's head rested back on his shoulder as they listened to her playlist whilst watching over the beach sunrise.