Regulus Black, or Regulus Lestrange, kept James up all night. Who was he and why was he so set on making sure James wouldn't mention him to Sirius, who he had called his brother?
"Sirius?" James whispered, checking if his friend was still up, which, of course, he was.
"Yeah?" his friends voice sounded from the other side of the room.
"You only hav- had a sister, right?" James asked. He was unsure if it was a good idea to ask this, Sirius usually closed off when someone asked about his biological family.
"Yeah? Why?" Sirius answered.
"Eh, nothing, just asking" James responded back, turning over to his back.
"Prongs, you've been turning around in your bed all night and now you're asking weird questions, what's up?" Sirius asked, turning on his bedside light. James took a few seconds to let his eyes get used to the light, looking to the blur that was his best friend. He was too tired to put on his glasses. The blur moved and Sirius was now sitting up.
"No really, there's nothing. I was just thinking, yeah?" James said. He heard Sirius shift in their bed.
"You know you can tell me anything right?" Sirius said. James sighed, Regulus voice sounding in the back of his head.
"It's just, I ran into someone who looked a bit like you but I probably saw it wrong" James lied. Well, it was only half a lie anyways. He knew Sirius would be frowning right now.
"Alright" he sighed.
"I'm just going to take a walk, I think. Can't sleep anyways" James said, grabbing his glasses. He threw on a sweatshirt over his tshirt and got up. It was winter and a sweater and sweatpants would be no where near warm enough, but James was used to being on the ice, so a bit of winter air he could manage.
"Alright mate, just try and catch some sleep later" Sirius sighed, also standing up. He grabbed some left overs from the refrigerator and sat down on their shared couch.
"Why can't you sleep?" James asked, eyeing Sirius suspiciously.
"Just thinking about Remus, did you know he plays bass? How can one be any more perfect" Sirius sighed and James shook his head laughing.
"You've got it bad for someone you don't even know" he said. Sirius grimaced.
"Don't remind me. Stalking his instagram makes me feel like I know him, though."
"You are unbelievable" James said, stepping into his shoes.
"I know" Sirius replied as James left their dorm. James had no idea where he was going to go, usually he just wandered around for a bit until he found somewhere nice to sit. The rink would open in an hour, he could also wait there, but that meant he had to go back now to gather his stuff, and Sirius would definitely stop him from skating that early. No, he had to go back home in an hour, sneak back in and hope Sirius would be asleep. It was officially Saturday now, meaning he could also just sleep in and get some rest before going out in the evening, but James really could not sleep. Sometimes James missed living with his parents. He had been going to a boarding school since he was eleven years old and it had taken him almost years to be comfortable enough to fall asleep there. His friends made it feel safer but James still had a hard time. By the time he had really gotten used to it, they were off to uni already. The only times he slept amazing were when he was with Lily, when he was home, or when he had alcohol in his system. He couldn't go home right now, Lily was having a girls night and he couldn't drink if he wanted to skate in about an hour. And so he just walked around a bit. Sure he had missed his friends over the break, but the campus was something he'd never really miss. The only nice part was the great hall, the rest of it were just concrete boxes. It was truly depressing, but at least the sport complexes were nice. This was, after all, the best uni in Great Britain if you wanted to combine sports with school. The people at this school all practiced sports at a high level, some even reached olympic level and were offered a different selection of classes. Scouts often came looking at games and James biggest dream was to be scouted for an American team, since ice hockey definitely wasn't as big in England. James sat down on one of the benches at the start of the small park bordering the campus. He looked up to the stars, finding Sirius with ease. His friend has shown him his star so many times. James' gaze went over the other stars and stopped at the brightest star of the Leo constellation. He had done quite some research about stars over the past hears, he even took astronomy at his high school. So he knew exactly what star this was. Regulus. It couldn't be a coincidence he, Regulus Black was, just like Sirius, after the brightest star in a constellation, but as far as James knew, Sirius only had a sister, whose name he could not even recall. She had stayed behind when Sirius left, stood by as Sirius was being beaten by their mom, never did one thing to protect Sirius from the abuse. Sirius hated his sister and if they had a brother, James was sure he'd known about it. He tried to type Regulus' name into his instagram search bar, but nothing came up. He did, however, find Remus' account. James could definitely see what Sirius saw in him, he was tall, good looking, and like stated before, played bass guitar. He had a highlight on his profile dedicated to books and one to music. James pressed the follow button, not really thinking about how weird it'd be for the other boy to receive a follow notification at this time of night, but surprisingly enough, Remus almost immediately followed him back. James let out a small snort at this, clearly someone else could not sleep either. He checked the time again and decided it was time to head back to his room.
The lights were off again when James sneaked in. He grabbed his bag and his skates from his chair as silently as he could and froze in place when Sirius mumbled something in their sleep. James lit the way back to the door with his phone's flashlight, hoping it'd be just soft enough not to wake them. He made it out safely and just like that he was on his way to the ice halls.
The cold air hit him in the face when he walked in, greeting the security guard, who rubbed his forehead, trying to figure out why on earth someone would go ice skating at six AM. Music blasting through James' headphones, he walked through the building like he fucking owned this place, and to be honest, he kind of felt like he did. He changed tied up his skates in the locker room for the hockey team and awkwardly strutted to the benches next the the ice. Even after all these years of playing, walking with his skates on, with the protection over the blades, was something we would never be able to do gracefully. He expected the rink to be empty, obviously, because once again, who the hell would go skating at six AM, that's just not something college students did. Especially not on Saturdays. But there he was, spinning pirouettes on the ice, his black hair curling around his face as he gracefully turned. Regulus had not seen or heard James come in, too focused on his routine and his own music, but James was entranced. He watched the boy fly over the ice and time seemed to stop around him. Regulus was dressed completely in black, which was ironic to James, because Sirius did the same, must come with the last name, he thought to himself. His tight clothes hugging his soft figure perfectly. He looked straight out of a dream. For a minute or two James forgot what he came to do, he was just staring Regulus down, until his music changed to something heavier and James seemed to wake up from a trance. He did one last check on his laces and removed the protector from his blades. The moment his skates touched the ice, he was greeted with a familiar kind of energy. A sort of excitement that went through his body every time he set foot on ice. He was totally awake and aware of everything around him and he pushed his earbuds in a bit further, trying to secure them from falling out. He started skating rounds around the ring for a warm up and finally Regulus noticed him. The boy stopped doing what he was doing and followed James with his gaze for a bit. James was very much aware of this, but he pretended not to see him, not to notice him. A small smirk creeped around his lips, which Regulus probably wouldn't be able to see, seeing how fast he was going. It was stupid, going this fast this soon into practise, but he felt the urge to impress the other boy, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe it was some sort of rivalry. Trying to overshadow him, showing him who had the power here. Showing him he couldn't just be told what to do, though, James felt like he would in fact, do anything Regulus told him to. There was something majestic about the boy, it was no wonder he was named after the heart of the lion. Still, there he was, standing there, staring at James. It gave James a feeling of satisfaction, Regulus' eyes on him. He did a couple more rounds before casually sliding across the ice, stopping himself just before the exit closest to where he had put his bag to drink some water. From the corner of his eye, he saw Regulus skating his way. He looked... angry?
"What are you doing here?" the boy hissed, and James subconsciously set a step back.
"Skating, obviously" James replied dryly.
"It's six thirty in the morning on a Saturday. Why are you skating?" Regulus insisted.
"Couldn't sleep" James said and Regulus eyed him suspiciously.
"What do you fucking think I'm doing here? You think I came here for you? I was just as surprised to find you here" James snapped. Who did this kid think he was?
"Normal people don't get up this early."
"First off, I didn't get up, I never went to sleep in the first place, second, you're also here." Regulus looked James up and down, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"I never claimed to be normal" he said. It was so pathetic, James let out a snort.
"So quirky."
•••
James looked at him with a familiar kind of rivalry in his gaze. It was the kind Regulus often saw with other skaters. A look that said told him James was threatened by him, as he should be. Meeting James had been perfect, Regulus had finally found the person who stole his brother all those years ago. He found the person he'd been hating since he was ten years old. James, of course, had no idea what he had done yet. It was so easy for Regulus to make his life a living hell, especially if they kept running into each other like this. Regulus made a mental note James would probably be here more often this early, which was perfect, because so was he. But contrary to James, Regulus was here because he had a very strict training schedule and while he loved being on the ice, being here at six AM was a bit much in his opinion. At least his mother didn't coach him anymore. Narcissa was not much better, but at least she respected his identity and had sworn secrecy to prevent his mother from finding out. And besides, Narcissa herself was one of the best figure skaters of the country, so if starting your training at six AM on a Saturday was what it took according to her, Regulus would gladly believe it. She was not here right now, obviously, but she had left him clear instructions on what to practice before they would see each other next. Till then, the school coach did her job just good enough. Right now though, it was just the two of them, Regulus standing right across James fucking Potter.
"What have I ever done to you? We've never even fucking met" James said, his eye almost unnoticeable twitching, which oddly satisfied Regulus. It meant James was growing annoyed which was not only funny to Regulus, it also upped the chances of James leaving the rink. As fun as it was to annoy James, Regulus had come here to train and he was terrified of making mistakes in front of others, so with James being present, he could not focus on learning new skills, out of fear James would see him fail. Failing was embarrassing and deserved punishment, his mother had taught him. And she had elaborated this time and time again, punishing Sirius to the point where he had quit figure skating. As much as he hated his brother, Regulus was glad to see Sirius was now on the ice hockey team, not ditching skating as a whole. He hated his brother, but he hated his mother even more, and being so severely abused to the point where you give up your passion, it was something on a whole other level. Regulus knew the feeling, he had thought about quitting time and time again, first his mothers exhausting parenting and then the start of his transition, it had all taken a toll on his body and his mind.
"Hello? Are you going to answer me?" James snapped his fingers in front of Regulus' face. He blinked a few times as he was being sucked back into the present.
"You'll find out. Possibly" Regulus said, forcing a smirk onto his face. James took a sip from his water bottle and Regulus watched his Adams apple move up and down as he swallowed.
"You're in my way" James said, ignoring Regulus' answer to his own question. Regulus looked at the space between them and yes, he was indeed blocking James' way out, but James clearly was not going to be leaving any time soon, the annoying shit he was. It was so obvious he had gotten used to everyone just doing as he said, but Regulus could see why they did, as he did step out of the way, watching James smoothly skate back onto the ice and zigzagged over the rink. Regulus just stood there for a while, not wanting to exhaust himself yet but also unable to practice anything new, until James came back to him. Or well, to his stuff. Or so Regulus thought, because James did not leave the ice but stopped right in front of him again.
"Why aren't you moving?" he asked, slightly out of breath. His hair was all messed up and it was a miracle how his glasses stayed on his face.
"I don't like practicing with people around" Regulus admitted, not sure why he was giving this away.
"But I saw you here yesterday" James frowned. Regulus looked down at his skates.
"Doing routines I know from the top of my head yeah, I have to practice new things today and I can't do that with anyone seeing me" he said. He wanted to crash his face into the ice, bash his skull in with one of his skates. He was not supposed to tell anyone this, especially not James Potter. He expected the other boy to laugh, to call him stupid, just to do anything mean, but he didn't.
"Okay, that makes sense. Do you want me to leave?" James asked. He was being understanding. Why was he being understanding? He wasn't supposed to be nice, Regulus was supposed to hate him forever and ever, James could not just choose his own path and be nice to him.
"Yes" Regulus answered. James nodded and moved past Regulus to grab his things.
"I suppose you come here this early more often, yeah?" James asked and this was Regulus' time to nod.
"All right, so do I and I don't want to get in your way. It is clear you don't like me for whatever reason but I'm not here to sabotage you. Will you give me your phone number so I can text you to ask if you are here to practice anything you are still learning so I know whether or not to come down here?" James asked. Regulus narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
"If you do anything else with my number y-" he started, but James cut him off.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm dead. We get it, mr edge" James sighed, pulling his phone from his bag. He handed it over to Regulus, who quickly added his name and number, trying to suppress his shaking hands as much as he could. He had never expected James Potter to be an actual... decent person. Not that he had really thought of James as his own person, to be honest. He had always just been the boy who had replaced him. The one his brother preferred. The one that had made Sirius grow bored of him, forget about him, his little sister.
"You are so boring, Rev. If James was here, he would definitely come with me" Sirius said. Regulus shook his head violently.
"You know mother will punish you, Sirius" he said. Sirius grinned.
"Thats why I need you, Revati. You are mothers little darling daughter. She will never hurt you."
But she did. Mother did hurt him when Sirius left. Mother hurt him when Sirius was at school. Mother hurt him when he tried to come out to her. Mother hurt him in so many ways Sirius would never see, because he didn't care. He didn't care about his sibling he left alone. He was probably out, having fun with James fucking Potter.
Regulus watched James as he did, in fact, leave the sport complex, leaving Regulus behind on his own to practice in peace. He spent the entirety of the morning reminding himself James was not a good person, he had just done one nice thing.
...
Remus sighed as he waited for his best friend at the dinner table. After all these years, you'd think he would have gotten used to Regulus losing track of time and arriving late, but somehow Remus had hope every single time. His own flaw, to be honest. He could have just started on his food, but he patiently waited. Finally Black approached him, but it wasn't the one he was waiting on.
"Remus" Sirius smiled, a dimple showing in his left cheek. He was truly godlike.
"Sirius" Remus nodded, poking at his mashed potatoes with his fork.
"Why don't you come sit with us?" Sirius offered, waving his hand at towards his table with his friends. Remus looked up and frowned.
"That's a lot of people, people are not really my thing" he grumbled. It was half a lie, Remus wanted nothing more than to sit with Sirius and their friends, but he couldn't leave because what if Regulus came in.
"You promised me you'd go out with us tonight though" Sirius pouted. Remus let out a small laugh.
"That's true, so I should not drain my social battery yet" Remus joked.
"Come on, wouldn't it be nice to meet my lot beforehand?" Sirius insisted, causing Remus to laugh again.
"You got my name a day ago and now I'm already meeting the friends?" he said. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You're the one who stayed up all night texting me" he said.
"So did you!" Remus shot back and Sirius shrugged, reaching over to take Remus' tray with food.
"You're coming with me" he said and walked away. Remus muttered a few curses under his breath as he followed Sirius like a pathetic puppy. They had only been talking for a day, but Remus had been drooling over Sirius for the entirety of the school year so far, so he would probably do anything they asked him to do. He had known the moment Sirius had asked to sit with them, he was going to lose this fight. Sorry Regulus.
Remus took a seat across from Sirius, who was sitting next to who Remus recognized to be James. James was next to his girlfriend and Remus sat in-between Peter Pettigrew and a girl he didn't know yet. Sirius did a round of names, and Remus tried to focus, he really did, but everything just went in through one ear and out through the other. He was too focussed on watching Sirius. He got fired with questions from every side and learned Sirius had also been 'obsessed' with him, in James' words. Remus found himself very flustered by this, he was not the kind of guy people like Sirius were interested in. In the meantime, he still had not eaten anything. He had a hard time eating when Regulus was not around, a terrible habit that had developed over the course of the years. Neither of them had the best relationship with food, so eating together made things a little easier. The comfort of having someone who understood the way you felt looking at your plate filled with calories. The past half year had been though, Remus had found himself throwing away his food after just a few bites. There had been a couple of incidents of him passing out during practice and Evan and Barty tried to give him as much support as they could, but Remus was only just getting used to the dynamic of not hating the pair of them, so they weren't much comfort. It worried Remus when Regulus didn't show up to dinner, because that meant neither of them would eat well and they would stuff themselves on protein bars late at night, another bad habit they had developed over the years, Walburga's doing. She tried to put Regulus on a diet of those things for a bit, feeding in to his already existing eating disorder. Somedays it was still the only thing the boy would eat, his body quite literally rejecting any other food.
"You're on the basketball team, right?" James' girlfriend asked. Remus thought to recall her name being Lily. She was very pretty, her red hair framing her face perfectly and her freckles spread over her face like hundreds of little stars.
"Uhu" Remus said, nodding his head. He loved playing basketball, but he hated talking about it. He didn't know why, probably because the only thing people were interested in was knowing if he was any good and how do you answer such a question?
"Any other hobbies?" Lily asked, with a gentle smile.
"I eh, I like to read" Remus said as he felt his cheeks heating up.
"Me too!" Lily exclaimed excitedly, her entire face lighting up.
"Nerd" James said before pressing a small kiss onto her forehead. Lily pushed him away with a loud laugh. Remus could probably watch the couple forever, their dynamic was so great, it felt straight out of a movie. He knew so little about these two, but he could tell they were most definitely soulmates.
"Gross" the girl next to Remus joked, sticking her finger to the back of her throat to mimic like she was throwing up. She was very pretty, her big afro like a cloud around her head and the pastels she was wearing perfectly contrasting her dark skin. Why were all Sirius' friends so beautiful, it was honestly unfair. Not that his own friends were anywhere near ugly, but these people, every single one of them, were fucking godly. That's probably also why people treated them like they were actual gods. He felt like an intruder between these people.
His attention was taken away his phone ringing. He wanted to press the call away, but it was Regulus and no bone in Remus' body could even think about pressing Regulus away. And so he answered the call.
"Hello?" Remus said, pressing the phone closely to his ear.
"Will you please come back to our dorm?" Regulus asked. Something in his voice cracked and Remus was up in an instant. He excused himself and told Sirius he'd meet them at the entrance of the great hall at ten before rushing out. He had not hung up the call, but neither of them said anything until Remus actually entered the room to find Regulus curled up in a ball on the bed, working his way through one of the protein bars they kept in their dorm in bulk.
"Reg?" Remus said, putting away his phone, finally ending the call. Regulus looked up, he looked exhausted.
"Hi" he breathed. Remus sat down on the floor next to Regulus' bed. Regulus did not like people sitting on his bed when he way laying down and Remus preferred sitting on the ground over sitting anywhere else, so it was just perfect for the both of them.
"You were gone all day" Remus stated and Regulus absently nodded.
"Had a long day" he clarified. This gave Remus no context whatsoever, but Regulus usually stayed at the rink all day when he was stressed and he wasn't going to pry.
"I'm going clubbing with your brother and his lot" Remus announced. Regulus smiled at him.
"Look at you being social" he joked. Remus batted his hand at his hand which Regulus skillfully dodged. Regulus obviously wasn't going to talk any more about his day and Remus had done nothing more than just reading all day, so instead he walked over to his closet and started picking out an outfit. He tried on almost his entire closet, Regulus sometimes calling out remarks on certain pieces, assuring him he looked good in his pants and they did make his ass look bigger, how this shirt didn't match his shoes and how that shirt was just straight up ugly and Remus let out more sighs than he ever had in his entire life. He needed to impress Sirius, he had just learned the interest was mutual so now he had to keep Sirius' attention. The problem was, however, Remus had no idea how to do that. He had absolutely zero clue how to grab or hold Sirius attention as he had no idea what they were into. Remus imagined Sirius would probably pull up looking like a straight up movie star and any outfit Remus put together would always look dull next to Sirius. Maybe he was just an extremely boring person. Most of his closet just consisted of big knitted sweaters. His friends used to call him a grandfather trapped in a young man's body and that was probably the most accurate description of Remus anyone would ever get. He let out a frustrated sigh as he threw on his final white button up over a pair of straight leg black jeans and combed his hand through his hair, making it a bit more messy, but organized messy.
"Remus, you look great. Unfortunate for me you prefer my brother over me, because I'd smash" Regulus called at him from the other side of the room. Remus winked at him before looking back in the mirror. He didn't look bad, he just looked so... normal? Plain. He looked plain, but he had no idea how to fix it and his phone told him it was time to head down. He said his goodbyes to Regulus and left his room, meeting Sirius and friends downstairs, already waiting on him.