"Why do you ask if I have brain damage?" Elias interrogated Jay as soon as Riley stepped outside of the café.
Jay smirked regretfully. "Because I'm an impulsive adolescent." His smile faded and he stopped himself from fidgeting under Elias's uncomfortable gaze. "Did I offend you?" It's not like I meant to, but how would he react if I did?
"No," Elias responded. Jay felt both relieved and disappointed but tried not to let either show. "You're just the only one other than my ex-girlfriends who've gotten the courage to ask."
Jay raised an eyebrow. He's actually had girlfriends?
"I know what you're thinking. Yes, there were girls crazy enough to date me. What I meant was, what compelled you to ask that?"
Jay thought for a moment. What non-offensive but honest reply could he give? "Emotionally, you seem to function a few levels down from... average."
"I didn't take you as someone to skirt around things."
"I'm a surprisingly sensitive person."
"Yet you notice I'm insensitive."
Another silence fell over the table making Jay want to fidget again. Or run away. But he was too curious. "I guess that was kind of hypocritical," he admitted. "Then, just tell me."
"Whether I have brain damage?"
Why is he dancing around the question? If he doesn't want to answer, he should just say so.
"What are you going to do after high school?"
Jay wondered if he should give up on expecting an answer from Elias. In response to the off-topic question, Jay shrugged and looked away. "Bartender? Mechanic? Tattoo artist? Escort?... I have to decide by the end of winter break. I may just go for what my parents suggested which is to go to business school and inherit my family's furniture-making business." Jay looked back at Elias and felt a little irritated. Was he even listening? Elias was busy looking at his phone.
Jay decided to try Riley's style of manipulation. He put his cheek on his arm which rested on the table and looked at Elias pitifully. "Stop, and just tell me," he whined.
Right before Elias asked about Jay's future plans, Elias took the chance to pull out his phone. Jay wanted to know what made him so emotionally dull and Elias seriously considered telling him. He wrote to Eran: 'Can I trust Jay?' Is he even awake or well-enough or willing to answer back?
Elias didn't wonder long because a reply came immediately: 'I think so. Why?'
'Can I tell him about Jamee?' Elias started to type. He realised there was no way Eran wouldn't answer with a firm, "No." Then he'd start ignoring Elias, and things would never be the same between them. Elias carefully deleted the text. Replying with 'I'm thinking about telling him how I nearly drowned' would surely bring Eran's mind to Jamee, and he'd tell Elias not to tell Jay even that, in paranoia that his own personal past would need to be divulged. That was unlikely, Elias knew, and this was his own past, thus his business and decision to tell. But instead, he replied with a half-lie: 'He just seems a little suspicious.'
When Jay whined, Elias was slightly taken aback. Fine, then I'll tell you. He began his monologue:
"When I was 12, I went to a party at a friend's house. My parents weren't party people, so it was just a group of adults I didn't know. We were swimming unsupervised. I ran, slipped, hit my head, went unconscious, fell into the pool's deep end. I could swim and was fairly tall, so my friends thought I'd just come up. They thought I was kidding until they saw the blood. So, by the time I was gotten out and treated, I'd already had neurological damage from suffocation and the head injury. But I did get help soon enough to survive. After some months, I was diagnosed with irreversible 'flat affect'."
Elias leaned back in his chair. "I can smile normally." He formed his lips, eyebrows, and eyes into a happy 7. "But," his expression returned to normal, "it feels as awkward as miming. Faking it got exhausting, so I gave up after a couple of years. I think that's it," he finished.
All through his tale, he'd watched Jay for any signs of pity—something he hated seeing. Yet Jay's expression was the same as if he was listening to an interesting history lecture. Elias couldn't see through Jay's demeanour in the end, so he asked outright, "Do you pity me?"
Jay shook his head and puckered his lips, glancing away once. "No."
Still, Elias couldn't be sure.
"I mean, what happened to you is sad, but... you're managing just fine. You're smart and hella successful." I don't know what kind of woman is going to be willing to marry you but... Jay shrugged. "I think you're fine as you are."
Elias stared at Jay even when the teen looked away uncomfortably. Very few people have said that to me and meant it in the end. His parents had eventually. Eran had. Here was this kid he'd met twice—essentially once—saying it... Like his girlfriends had initially.
"I just can't tell if you really like me." They didn't trust his words.
"I can never tell what you're thinking." They didn't trust his words.
"I can't trust you." At least she'd been completely honest.
Elias had grown to understand that humans were creatures that didn't need language to communicate and connect with one another (despite what his English teachers and speech therapist had said). Words meant nothing. Actions spoke louder. Even more, his monotone wasn't enough for someone who couldn't see. That was just how it was. He didn't pity himself. He'd accepted it.
Jay thought to himself, women were too emotionally needy to deal with someone like Elias. If Elias got along with anyone besides Eran, he was sure they were male. Maybe by some small chance, Elias could find a woman who thought like a man and liked men. But I'm sure it's a biological thing. Like, maybe Elias can find a nice transgender man-(or woman?)... Wait, is that sexist?
Elias interrupted Jay's thoughts. "I'm going to head out now," he remarked as he stood up and put on his coat.
"Ah, me too," said Jay, rising out of his chair.
The two paid and left the heated building to be greeted by a biting cold wind.
Elias turned to Jay. "Where are you going?"
"Probably Tony's." Jay glanced down the street in the respective direction.
"Upper midtown/lower uptown area?"
Jay nodded. "Midtown side suburbs."
"I can drive you."
Jay smiled and raised an eyebrow. "You're so thoughtful," he said walking towards the passenger's side of the car that beeped as it unlocked.
After getting the OK from Tony to come over, Jay began to take out his earrings.
Elias noticed. "Tony's family is uptight?"
"I have to show Tony's mom I'm a good kid. Even if she notices the piercings, seeing me with earrings in would be exponentially worrisome."
'Exponentially?' Is that the kids' new slang? "So your parents don't mind?"
The teen scoffed as he shoved the earrings into his pocket securely. "My parents design furniture," Jay said as if it indicated something.
"Any tattoos?"
Jay touched the smooth upholstery of the car seat. "Every design I come across seems cliché, so nope." He looked at Elias's level 1 expression. "What about you? Hiding a bulldog anywhere under your lab coat?"
"My parents are immigrants," Elias mimicked.
Jay smirked. "I think you'd look exponentially cool with a piercing or two."
"That house there," Jay pointed at a home larger than necessary, like all the others in the wealthy neighbourhood. Some winter flowers grew by the walkway and a stone cross sat beside the door.
"The one that radiates Over-Protective Religious Mother?"
"Wow," Jay looked at Elias as his mouth opened slightly in shock. "You got super powers too?"
"I had to compensate somehow."
As Elias pulled to a stop in front of the house, Jay bit the inside of his cheek. It hadn't occurred to him that Elias could run with a joke. "The only other mid-20-something-year-olds I know are druggies, so it was nice meeting you." Jay held out his hand.
Elias smiled at a 3 and they shook hands. "Agreed. Exponentially."
A/N: Fill in the blank: Elias and Jay are _____.