The sound of your alarm wakes you up from your deep sleep. You glance at the clock and squinted your eyes to make out the blurry lines which read "6:32am."
"Great" you mumble as you sit up to stretch your arms and swing your legs over the side of the bed. This was the third day in a row of only getting 3 hours of sleep, but you supposed that this was the life you chose when you auditioned to become an idol.
As you stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you start to reminisce about how you got to where you are now. Your days as a trainee at YG Entertainment seemed so far from now, as your group had since become a huge success with you as their leader. The days spent practicing until the early morning, attending vocal lessons, and saving up to enjoy meals were now replaced by jammed packed schedules, performances, and traveling overseas. You can't help but miss some of those old days. It was tough work and your future was uncertain, but times were less complicated back then and you could enjoy simple things like being in public without getting swarmed by fans, or going on dates.
Going on dates.
You can't remember the last time your heart fluttered or someone swept you off your feet. But it was for the best that your focus was solely on your career. After all, that's what got you where you are now—on your way to a recording session for a collaboration track at SM Entertainment. You hadn't had time to find out who it was you were collaborating with, being more focused on learning the song and preparing for the session. But you trusted that your partner would be equally prepared, and that the recording would proceed smoothly.
—
You were not prepared however, to be standing inches away from Jaehyun as you swung open the door to the studio.
"Oh, hi there, I was just about to take a quick trip to the bathroom. Sorry I didn't see you there." He shyly stated as he awkwardly massaged the back of his neck while avoiding your eyes.
You couldn't help but notice how effortlessly handsome he looked in a simple white T-shirt draped over some black joggers. His grey hoodie was unzipped and fell off his left shoulder, revealing just an inch of skin. His hair looked freshly washed and perfectly messy—was that a hint of vanilla you smelled? You almost got lost in a trance when he finally spoke up again.
"I'm Jaehyun by the way, nice to meet you."
You stumbled backwards a little bit, caught off-guard by the sudden close proximity between the two of you. He gently reached out his hand and you snapped out of your daze to return his handshake.
"I'm Y/N, glad to be working with you!" You cheerfully replied, slowly starting to regret lazily rolling out of bed this morning without putting much thought into your appearance.
"I'll be right back, you can go ahead and start recording your parts."
Jaehyun lightly gripped your shoulder as he slid past you in the doorway. Electricity sparked from his touch and it took you a few moments to calm your racing pulse before entering the studio.
Always making a point to be incredibly professional and give your best effort in your projects, you quickly shook off your nerves and refocused your attention to recording the song. You steadily started to feel more comfortable and began to put all of your emotions into your singing. After finishing your verses, you felt proud of your work, turning your attention to the producer to see if you got his approval. Instead however, your gaze met Jaehyun, who evidently was back from the bathroom and now stared at you with an unreadable expression. His momentary smirk turned into a sweet smile as he gave you a thumbs up from the other side of the window.
"Hey, you did amazing in there." Jaehyun reached out his hand to give you a hi-five.
"Thank you! I'm sure you'll do great as well." You clash your palm in his.
You notice how small your hand looks against his, how warm his touch feels, and how long and slender his fingers were. For a moment, his eyes dart towards your lips then back to your hands, which had remained connected a bit too long for a friendly hi-five. He chuckled as he brushed past you once again, this time gripping your waist as he slipped by.
After stepping out of the recording room, you patiently waited on the couch while Jaehyun finished up his parts. You couldn't help but admire his angelic vocals that tugged on your heartstrings every time he sang.
After he finished, it was time to record the chorus that both of you shared. Being squeezed in a tiny room with a ridiculously attractive man certainly wasn't the worst way to spend your morning, but singing together into one microphone proved to be a challenge.
Jaehyun was almost a foot taller than you, which made it tricky to find a good height to position the mic. Not wanting to burden him with having to sing while squatting to your level, you insisted that you could just stand on your tippy toes. He must have seen you struggling to balance, because in the middle of your harmonies, you felt a gentle hand land on your lower back, giving you some support. You subtly glance over at him, and he returns your gaze with a slight grin. You feel your cheeks heat up but do your best to finish the session without getting distracted.
—
"We fit pretty well together," Jaehyun smiles as he nudges you while you listen to the recording. "our voices, I mean."
You agreed with him, the song was definitely going to top the charts, and you couldn't help but pick up on his subtle flirting and suggestive comment. Feeling uncharacteristically brave, you reply "I think we could fit well together in other ways too."
This comment catches him by surprise, but gives Jaehyun the green light to act on his desires. "How about you show me how well we can fit together?" He says with one eyebrow raised, as if he was challenging you to live up to your words.
"If you want to come back to my place, I can definitely do that." And without missing a beat, he grabs your hand to lead you out of the studio.
—
Sure enough, you and Jaehyun proved that you fit well together. Really well. Right after returning home from the recording session, he wasted no time pinning you against the door and attacking your lips that he had been longing for all morning.
After the first passionate kiss that left your lips bruised and you gasping for air, he slowed his pace. His lips lightly brushed over yours, giving you a few short pecks before slightly parting his mouth to slip in his tongue and deepen the kiss.
You melted at the feeling of his mouth on yours, kissing you so softly while his hands gripped onto your waist like his life depended on it. You slipped your arms around his neck and felt his leg slide between yours as he moved from your lips to pepper kisses down your neck. He slowly began to rock your hips against his leg and you moaned at the friction he applied between your thighs.
"Jaehyun" you whined when he suddenly let go of you. At this point, you looked like a hot mess with your face blushing red from the intense make out session and your thighs clenched together from neediness.
"Don't worry baby, I just wanna take my time with you. I'll make you feel real good, I promise." He whispered as he admired your disheveled state.
"Well hurry up then." you pouted, beginning to feel shy from the attention he was giving you.
"What the princess wants, she gets." He abruptly lifts you off the ground and carries you to your bedroom.
—
Maybe it was the fact that you hadn't felt a man's embrace in so long, but you truly believed this man would be the death of you. He knew exactly how to make you feel good and he looked unbelievably hot doing it.
What started as an impulsive decision to act upon your undeniable chemistry during the recording session turned into multiple nights sneaking over to his dorm to fulfill each others' sexual needs. Neither of you ever addressed your relationship, but you were perfectly content with the unspoken agreement you shared. He called you when he needed you, and you did the same. You were happy with this arrangement as it allowed you to experience some romance without the pressure of commitment. You were friends with benefits.
You weren't tied to each other and as long as you both still benefitted from your meetings, then there were no problems.
Until there was a problem. You started catching feelings. But how could you not when he looks at you so dreamily as he wakes up in the morning? When he holds you tighter if you try to leave the bed? When he whispers to you how you are the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on?
You were only human, and he is too, after all. Maybe he feels the same way. He must feel the same way or else he wouldn't do all those things, right? You start going crazy over this dilemma and decide to confront him about it. It's always best to come clean and be transparent. You convince yourself that the worst that could happen is he doesn't feel the same, and you would just move on and forget these feelings. You had been avoiding these emotions for years now anyway, how hard could it be?
You were determined to have this conversation with him the next time you two met. As you approached his dorm, you took a deep breath. "Come on, Y/N, let's just get this over with." You say to yourself. You raise your fist to knock on the door when suddenly, it swings open. Just like the day you met, you are not prepared for what you saw.
"Oh! Sorry, excuse me." She quickly mumbled as she rushed out the door.
Karina was Jaehyun's label mate. You knew they were close but you didn't expect her to be visiting his dorm on a late night like this. Unsure of what the two of them could be up to at this hour, you slowly step into the room.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting you." Jaehyun casually remarked as he grabbed his shirt from the floor and slipped it back over his head. He was in nothing but boxers and you instantly regretted your decision to come tonight.
Your stomach turned and you felt sick at the realization that he was having sex with other girls. Of course, you two never set boundaries for that so you couldn't really be upset at him. You were more upset with yourself for believing that he might have feelings for you too.
"Sorry, I...didn't know you were busy." was all you could muster before you turned and left as fast as you could. You felt like an idiot and needed to leave that place as soon as possible, angrily blinking back your tears. How could you be so stupid? Of course he didn't have feelings for you.
It was another lesson learned. From now on, you really were going to prioritize your career over everything else. You were going to work hard and focus on yourself. No more time or energy would be spent on fantasizing over relationships, not when they always end up hurting you anyway.
—
For the next few weeks you spent every waking hour preparing for your group's comeback. It was a great distraction from the emotional turmoil you just endured, and you were genuinely excited to be onstage again.
As part of your promotions, your manager secured you a spot as the new MC for Music Core. You had never been an MC before, and were a little nervous to take the position.
"Don't worry sweetie, you're naturally charismatic and the fans will eat up anything you do." She reassured you. "Just rehearse your lines, pay attention to your cues, and build chemistry with your partner. That's all you need to do!"
"Wait, partner?"
"Y/N, I know it's been a while since your last comeback, but don't tell me you forgot that MCs always have partners."
You guessed she was right, all of the popular music programs had multiple MCs that would bounce off each other as they hosted. You suddenly grew even more anxious thinking about having to develop on-screen chemistry with a stranger while nailing your lines.
Your manager sensed your nervousness and rubbed your shoulders to sooth you. "Stop stressing about it Y/N, your partner is experienced and actually very sweet from what I've heard. You two will have a meeting before filming to get to know each other so don't worry about having to do this with an absolute stranger."
You sigh but trust her words. It's not like you are shy of the camera after all, this will just be a new skill to add to your resume.
"So who is my partner?" You hesitantly ask.
"It's none other than 4th generation's 'It Boy'—Hyunjin from Stray Kids!"