Amelie Leclerc
How disgusting it felt to have to go back to Monaco.
Every corner I went to reminded me of him, especially Charles's apartment.
My only reason for being here was because I needed to receive the properties that my biological father had left me and also to get completely away from the paparazzi, since in this city it was not so common for celebrities to be photographed because it is the place where they reside and it is your privacy.
I really liked the city, but it brought me back to the moment I met it and everything that we lived here.
How sad it was to see how Lando and I had gotten to know each other so much in such a short time, we told each other many secrets, our fears, the things we love and hate; I know everything about him and he knows everything about me, however, we have ended up becoming two complete strangers again, pretending that we did not know each other, but now with memories.
And I was saying this because I didn't receive a single thank you for that letter I wrote to the Briton for his birthday, although, well, I didn't expect anything from it knowing that he was already with someone else and this only confirmed that he was happy with her.
I was walking through the Leclerc's country house and I watched as a black-haired girl quickly left the room that I had been told was Arthur's. I think I've seen her before, but I didn't remember exactly where and it was difficult for me to distinguish her in the darkness of the night.
The house was quite large and my concept of a rural home to spend the holidays was very wrong to what this place really was, it looked like a castle, and the most beautiful thing was that it had a huge garden where Mona was more than enjoying her freedom and there was also a pier that overlooked the Mediterranean Sea. Clearly, the view was beautiful from wherever you saw it.
It looked more like a farm, what they called a simple house, it had five rooms with beds, another three rooms, but these were for sports or to play chess or billiards, two kitchens, two enormous dining rooms, a balcony in each room and various bathrooms. It was all too big and apparently it was in my name, however, I was not going to take away the family vacation home just because it was in my name, despite the fact that they insisted that it was better that I adapt it my way and if I wanted could live there. Obviously, I refused, although it would not be a bad idea to live in Monaco and start from scratch, but for my feelings it was a bad idea.
I walked into one of the eat-in kitchens and noticed that Charles was having a video chat with Lucy about the baby. Now that he thought about it, they hardly ever talked about anything other than my half-brother's possible child.
Perhaps he was just supporting her with the issue of pregnancy and that the boy or girl is fine, but he really does not want her for anything else.
At least he was helping her, the trouble was that Lucy probably wanted more than that.
It's been a long time since she talked to my friends about her love life because she was so involved in my thoughts and away from the world, I definitely had to do it again.
I heard how they said goodbye and Charles turned to me, "Hello!" He greeted me cheerfully.
"Hello," I spoke dryly even though I tried to sound happy too.
"You want something to eat?" he opened the fridge to show me what was in it.
"No, thanks." The appetite hadn't fully returned.
"Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything since you came."
"Yes, thanks."
"If you get hungry later, you can go to the other kitchen where they prepare whatever you want there," he mentioned so that I would feel pampered.
"Have they always had all this?" I pointed around me.
"The house?"
"All the money."
"No, there was a long time when dad made thousands of efforts so that Arthur and I could continue in the sport. Before he died he was able to recover some investment money and our prize money, but we didn't have as much capital as we do now being in Formula One. In fact, this house was much smaller, but we have rebuilt it, but obviously we have left it where we spent most of our childhood" he answered normally.
"So what he has left me really doesn't exist anymore?"
"Yes, it exists, it is only improved. We didn't think you were going to find out who your father was, so we left it as a family thing."
"The house is beautiful."
We stayed in silence for a few minutes, he went back to his cell phone and I was left admiring the beauty of the place, until he talked about a topic that he really didn't want to talk about, "How do you feel about everything that is happening with Lando?"
"Fine," I lied.
"Amélie, you must not lie to me."
"I don't know, at times I feel good and at other times I don't. I feel like the world is ending every time I see him with her and I know that I left him for the good of both of us, but it hurts me to see that he replaced me so quickly" I let off steam.
"Have you spoken of this with him?
"No, well, yes, in a letter, but I don't think he cares."
"Because what you say?" He asked surprised.
"I expected him to text me at least and he didn't, but I understand why he doesn't want to." My tone of voice was becoming weak.
"If you know that you could make an appeal, right?"
"Obviously, but as a lawyer I know that this process is extremely complicated and I need dad's signature to be able to act on his will, which his lawyer will not allow because he defends what dad left established and I cannot request it from him because, well, it's not there anymore."
I was a lawyer about to receive my degree, she was clearly aware of this resource, however, it was not convenient for me to use it simply for a relationship. Hervé would not have wanted me to go out of his way for a sports guy, knowing how hurt he could get, and he had to respect and understand him.
"You were afraid that things would not work out after she recognized you as a Leclerc, right? " he discovered the main reason why I left him, which I had been afraid to admit even to myself.
I nodded and Charles understood perfectly, "You may be protecting yourself now, but your feelings and heart ask for something else."
Touché.
It was too true and I didn't know what to say to him.
He left me speechless and he was able to figure out why he decided to leave the kitchen, he only spoke one last time informing me about the court date, "Remember to be ready tomorrow at eight in the morning."
What was I going to do until then?
I had no idea, I should no longer work, but if I should start looking for something to apply for.
I returned to the room assigned to me and took out my laptop to check where I could send my resume, I also checked my cell phone since I had left it here so I could rest from it and I noticed that I finally had a response from the British about the letter sent.
[23:33] Landito ❤️: Hello Amélie
[23:35] Landito ❤️: I have read the letter.
[23:37] Landito ❤️: And honestly, the only thing you've shown me with this is that I'm an asshole for begging you, because you're not worth it.
[23:38] Landito ❤️: On the other hand, Luisa is totally worth it, so I ask you to stop sending these things that can bother her as much as they did me.
[23:39] Landito ❤️: That's all I'm writing to you for. Let me get on with my life and you get on with yours, facing the consequences of your actions.
And after those five messages I got an hour ago, he blocked me.
God, it hurt so much more to read his response.
But, in fact, he was right. I had to get on with my life and it was my fault this was happening, so he had all the freedom in the world to do whatever he wanted with other girls.
And it was clear that it wasn't worth wasting my time trying to let him know that I did love him, when he thought he had wasted his begging me for wanting to know what was happening to me and when I finally told him he got angry, so I decided to block him too .
Now I was angry too.
My feelings were a mixture of pain and hate.
I steadfastly searched my computer for available job applications in motorsport.
If he believed that he was never going to see me again in his life, then let him get ready because I was going to make him wish he hadn't met me.
I found an available position for a lawyer in the Mercedes team and I sent everything requested, I just hoped that they would understand that in less than a month they would give me my title and that I could send it later if they accepted me for the position.
According to what he said, the opportunity is that they needed someone who could go to all the Formula One races and be aware of the demonstrations given by the FIA every time a problem occurred that would involve the rules of the regulation. They did that in case it was necessary to fight so that the team would not be penalized or that it really be done as the regulations say.
It was the perfect opportunity and luckily I had done a sports law course a year ago so I could get the job perfectly.
Now nothing else had to wait.
But first he had to go for that appeal.
I knew that dad didn't want me in that world, however, I wanted to be in it and not in a relationship. It was always my dream to work as a lawyer in some team and if I achieved it, I was not going to stop my fantasy because of a dam closure.
This was different.
This was worth it.
And for that job I would fight everything to get it removed.
Well yes, Lando was absolutely right in saying that it wasn't worth it, because the truth is I could have also fought for the closure to be removed so I could have a relationship with him, but I just didn't want to.
I didn't want to because I was afraid that things wouldn't work out because I had a name and was nobody in the world, I didn't want to because it would affect Lando's career a lot, being associated with someone who wasn't worth it and all his life has been judged for everything, I didn't want to because the hate I get on social media for Lando's toxic fandom is too much and I can't take that, I didn't want to because it just wasn't the right time to risk everything and probably lose it.
Sometimes life is unfair at the wrong times.
I left the room determined to inform Charles that I was going for that appeal, but it wasn't for one of the pilots, it was for myself and my self-improvement.
However, I couldn't find him anywhere on the farm, so I would tell him about it until it was time to go to court.
The next morning I managed to be seen by some paparazzi as if nothing had happened, as if what Lando had sent me a few hours ago hadn't affected me at all. Although the city was not common to be harassed by photographers, it was common to be recognized in the streets by its citizens and tourists who asked the local hero for photos.
I was going to take advantage of the recognition that my half brother had so that my message would reach Lando, that he would know that I did not give a damn what he told me and that he would find out that it was not worth fighting for him anymore.
Just as he had more than confirmed her message to me with the photos that were seen of the Portuguese woman's birthday and where he was, there, with her, more than together.
It was me against the world, it has always been this way and it always had to be this way.
I never had to let him try to help me with my things because I can do it on my own and I just made myself dependent on him.
I never should have let him kiss me.
I never had to let my heart open up again and feel feelings towards someone who I knew was impossible to be with.