A piece of the past...
Tessa had seen Troy just once.
He had insisted on taking her right outside her home and she only said yes because her mother was not around and the drunkards were once again eyeing her with glassy eyes.
"He's cute," Tessa said with a giggle as she leaned away from the window. She must have been watching Troy as he walked away after Dannie entered their house.
"Don't tell me my little sister now knows how to have crushes," she teased, putting her bag down the floor beside their bed.
Tessa shrugged. "I just said he's cute."
"Okay, whatever you say." She looked around and asked, "Where's 'Ma?"
"Prison," Tessa answered, her face flat. "And somewhere after that. She didn't really say."
Dannie sighed. Her mother had been blaming her for months, telling her it was her fault their father was in prison. "I'll make dinner," she told Tessa, wishing at the back of her mind that their mother would take her time.
PRESENT DAY
"Ga, I'm impressed. You actually fixed it," the lady with the wide brim hat said, resting her forearm over her husband's shoulder.
The four of them were eyeing me with a look of relief and pity in their eyes. Hey, I am not six feet under the ground, you know.
"Thanks, man" Brady said to Erik once again, shaking the guy's hand. "Let me buy you a drink."
Erik smiled and nodded. "One bottle before we part?"
"That's great!" the wife said, jumping to her feet with excitement. "You know, Ga, they know Rock."
Erik's eyebrows raised with wonder. He smiled at Dannie baby and asked, "Really?"
Dannie just nodded her head and turned to Brady. "Shouldn't we be heading home?"
"Come on, just one bottle, Dannie," Steph urged, linking her arm through Dannie's. "Come on. Why don't we call Rock while we're chilling out?"
And with that, Dannie baby was dragged away from me once more.
Erik followed behind them as Brady tapped my hood and said, "Be good, Toto. We still have to go home."
His phone rang as he was leaving me and he fell behind the group to answer the call. When he saw who it was, he stopped and returned to my side. My metallic ears were ready for some action.
"Jackie," he answered with a frown.
"Where are you guys now?"
"Toto is fixed, relax. We'll be heading home in a few hours."
"Why in a few hours?" Jackie's voice asked.
Brady lifted his phone away from his ear because of the volume of her voice. "Gosh, Jackie. I don't even need to put you on speaker. Relax, okay? We're just hanging out with a couple who helped us fix your car, okay? And plus, they know Rock."
"They do?!"
The phone was now in front of Brady. He definitely didn't need the speaker. "Yes, they do. I think the wife is going to help us contact Rock."
"Yes! There's a problem with the schedule! Tell them the wedding reception is not gonna move itself! We already agreed on a schedule and they suddenly—"
"Yes, yes, okay!"
A long silence followed and Brady was just about to hang up when Jackie's voice said something, this time it was low and inaudible for me. "What?" Brady asked, taking the phone back to his ears. His face turned serious in a matter of seconds. "Jackie, I'm not trying to do anything anymore."
Okay, this is serious stuff, right?
Brady listened for a long time, his head bent. "Yeah, I know. I get it now, okay? I just thought I needed the shot. But I'm taking her home right away. No more detours, I promise. Yes, I am sure." All of a sudden, my metallic heart went to Brady at that moment. He looked like he was squinting not from the heat of the sun but because he was fighting back tears. "Yes, Jackie, I decided to give up. I will not be giving her a hard time anymore. I will not try to confuse her or anything. I'll be a good guy and deliver her right into your doorsteps. Satisfied?" Jackie was talking again and Brady nodded his head twice. "And Jackie," he said before he hung up, "I don't want to have the same serious conversation when I get back. Can you do that? I don't want you guys to sit me down and talk to me like I am a child. Just..." he looked over his shoulder to where Dannie baby, Stephanie and Erik were, and continued, "just let me deal with this on my own like I did last year."
I was weeping gas for the guy. He was suffering as much as Dannie baby was. And I got angry at him for kissing her. But who was I to judge his actions? He was a man in love with a woman who didn't even know what to do with her heart.
Okay, you are back to being Troy, man. I totally understand you now and I am sorry if I have been such a pain even if you didn't know about it. I feel your pain, dude. I totally feel it.
I watched him walk the heavy steps toward the woman he wanted to be with. If it was possible for me to do some sort of magic, it would be to heal Dannie baby's wounds. It might just make things better for her and for this guy.
I hate feeling this way. I just hate it. So much drama!
*****
Dannie was not sure how to feel now that they could finally go home.
She kept looking at Troy as he talked with Erik over a bottle of beer, assessing his mood. She didn't want him to feel like it was his fault that they had to go home or that she was feeling guilty for what happened.
It was just a kiss! She should forget about it and move on.
But why was she bothered about it? Why couldn't she stop thinking about it?
While the overwhelming and new feeling she felt at the memory of that kiss was somehow pleasant, a lot of other things came along with it. The memories of the past and the guilt she felt for dishonoring the vows she committed to take.
As Steph continued to talk to her about her son and how he was becoming more like his father, Dannie wondered about what the fortuneteller had said. She was to be a mother. Dannie wondered how it would feel—how it would feel to mother a child that would serve as an empty vessel of the things you could give. Would she be able to give as much love as Steph could if she ever had a child? Or would she end up like her mother?
She mentally shook her head. Being a mother was out of her plans. She was supposed to be living the rest of her life serving God.
"Rock just replied!" Steph excitedly exclaimed, causing Troy and Erik to stop their conversation and look at her.
"What did she say?" Troy asked. Dannie noticed that he had not made any eye contact with her—even glance at her—since they sat down.
Steph was reading the message with narrowed eyes. "Well, she said she'll make adjustments on her schedule for your friend's wedding. Says it is all her fault anyway so she'll find a way to make it to the reception."
Dannie sighed with relief. Now, Jackie could relax.
"Does that call for another round?" Erik asked Troy with a smile.
Steph looked at her husband pointedly. "I thought you said just one bottle?"
Troy laughed. "And when has it ever been just one bottle?"
Erik laughed and called for the waiter.
"Troy, we're still going home, right?" Dannie asked.
Troy gave her a quick glance and nodded. "Of course, Danica."
"You can't drive after this," she added.
"Of course. You'll drive," he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes.
"And I'm driving, too," Steph said to her husband.
The two men just nodded as two more bottles of beer was delivered to their table.
About an hour later, Dannie and Steph were no longer smiling. They were both looking at Erik and Troy with concern as the two men kept talking, laughing and drinking. After finding a common denominator, which was farming, the two men never ceased exchanging serious and funny stories of their experiences in their field.
"You two have drank enough," Steph told them, her eyes narrowing toward her husband.
Troy's eyes were getting heavier and Dannie finally got the courage to say something. "Troy, we better go." She glanced at Steph who had already stood up to stand beside her smiling husband.
"Give me the keys," Steph ordered and searched for them herself inside his jeans pockets when Erik didn't move. "We have to go home now. Your son has been looking for us."
"No, he's not. He's with his grandparents. He's getting spoiled to the point he'd not even want to go back home with us," Erik uttered with a laugh.
"We should meet up in Bacolod," Troy told him, standing up on his own with a stupid grin. "I'll pay. It's the least I can do for your help." He reached for his pocket and took out his wallet. He opened it and frowned.
"What?" Dannie asked him.
He looked down at her and said, "I think I'm drunk," handing his wallet toward her.
She sighed and rolled her eyes at Steph who was already laughing. She took out some cash from his wallet and waived for the waiter. As she was closing it, she saw an old photo she recognized. Before she could inspect it further, Troy had grabbed the wallet from her saying, "Nosy, nosy, Danica."
"Troy—"
"Okay, you drive," he said, placing Toto's key on the table.
"You still have that—"
"Ah! My head hurts. I think it's best we go home." He turned to Erik and Steph and took their hands in both of his and said, "Thank you so much. For everything."
"No problem. See you around Bacolod?" Steph asked with a smile, her arm around her husband's shoulders.
"Of course. We have your numbers," Troy answered with a salute. "Danica?"
Dannie was already standing up and she smiled at Steph and Erik. "Thank you for your help. I hope to see you around Bacolod soon."
Steph unwound her arm from her husband and walked toward Dannie and gave her a lingering hug. "Just so you know, it is better to tell someone you love them before it's too late." Dannie was stunned by the lady's words that she was left speechless. Steph laughed at her expression as she stepped back. "Trust me. Someone had said the same thing to me and I did not listen. It was the biggest mistake I made." Steph gave her a wink and walked back to Erik. "Let's go, husband. I'll do the driving."
*****
The four of them said their goodbyes for almost an hour. Seriously, it took them that long. The two guys must have had a lot of things to talk about because each word that came out of their mouths turned out to be another topic.
Troy—yes, I was back to calling him Troy because I finally got to cool off my steam—noticed Dannie baby looking uncomfortable and he finally shook Erik's hand for the nth and last time. I was so curious why Dannie baby was looking like she was answering an unfamiliar True or False question.
It must be that lady, Steph! I am sure of it!
She gave Dannie baby one last hug and a meaningful gaze before walking off with her husband toward their truck she named Meanie who I happened to be friends with now. And to give the truck some credit, she was not mean. She was just playful, she said.
As to Dannie baby and Troy, Dannie was back behind my wheels and she drove us out of Dumaguete in safe speed. Troy was leaning his head against my passenger seat, his eyes closed.
"They're such a good couple," he said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, they didn't have to help us but they did."
"No, I mean they looked good together. A happy couple."
Oh gas...please, Troy my boy...don't start with this. Let's just go home first.
Dannie baby chose to keep her silence, which was a good decision. But Troy was drunk that the words just rolled out his mouth without passing through the filters of his mind.
"We could be like them, you know. Or so much more. I can make that happen." At his words, Dannie baby's hands tightened around my steering wheel, the same went with her lips. Troy chuckled in that drunken way of his, his eyes still closed. He was probably imagining what he just said. "I can really see that happen. Too bad you can't though," he said, opening one eye to steal a quick glance at her face.
Her eyes were focused on the road—too focused, as a matter of fact. Her jaw tightened and her foot pushed a bit further down my gas pedal. Hey, hey, Dannie, careful! Not the pedal! Not the pedal!
Troy turned his head toward her and looked at her with both eyes open and he sighed. He rolled his head back and closed his eyes, taking a very deep breath. He let it go and a bitter smile followed suit. "You really are my karma."
Dannie baby kept mum. Good, Dannie. Don't say anything. We're driving. We can't have another accident, baby.
"Can you ask God something for me?" Troy asked after a long silence. My engine started to panic again. Why couldn't he just shut the hell up?!
"What?" Dannie asked.
"Ask Him if He can make it go away. All of it. I just want to go back to just seeing you as a friend."
"You're drunk, Troy. You should just sleep it off."
"Okay, I guess that is too much to ask then, huh?" He rolled his head and opened his eyes to take a look at her again. "Then just ask Him to really take good care of you. If I can't do that, then I am not willing to pass you on to someone else who is not capable."
Dannie baby frowned. "I don't need to be taken care of."
"Damn right, you do!" Troy's voice boomed inside me.
What the hell, man! Keep it low!
Dannie baby was wise to slow me down. She threw Troy a quick glance before returning her gaze on the road. "Don't shout."
"I can shout all I want!" Troy said once more, rolling down my window. He stuck his head out and shouted at the top of his lungs. I felt the pain and love as he did so. The veins in his neck engorged as he shouted one more time. And then he started to throw up.
What the—OH MY GAS! TROY BRADY! Your vomit's showering my body! Stop that! Dannie, stop! STOP! HIT THE BREAK OR I SWEAR I'LL DRIVE MYSELF HOME ALONE!
Dannie baby just did that. She hastily parked me at the side of the road as Troy continued to empty his stomach contents, spattering my awesome body.
I DEMAND A COMPLETE OVERHAUL AFTER THIS!
"Troy, are you okay?" Dannie said, reaching out to pat his back. He held up one hand and she immediately took her hand away. Half his body was almost out my window. He gagged some more and when there was nothing left, he sniffed and coughed. Finally, he had the decency open my door and jump out. He walked away and bent down to excrete more juices, his hands on his knees.
Dannie baby followed behind him, her steps careful. She stood beside him with concern.
Man...it's already getting dark. We better hurry! Oh gas...I hate this smell. I hate it!
"I'm fine," Troy finally said, straightening to full height.
"No, you're not."
Troy shrugged. "Of course, I am not fine, Danica," he snapped at her. And when he realized he did, his expression softened and he reached out to take her hand. She let him hold it for a while, her head bent. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again. You're right. I'm drunk."
But Dannie baby was crying now and I figured we'd be late for home again. Drama was on its way.
"Hey, hey, don't cry," Troy said, pulling her by the hand and gently circling her body with in his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
He leaned his head away from her and cradled both her cheeks in his hands. He looked at her with tenderness as his thumb brushed away the tears. "I don't want you to feel like what I'm going through is your fault. It's not, okay? I'll get through this in one way or another. You just do what you want. Don't feel guilty or burdened by my pain. Just do whatever the hell you want, Danica and I'll try to live with that."
Dannnie lifted her eyes toward him, the tears flowing endlessly. Troy brushed them away again as she sniffed. "But I don't know what I want. Troy, I don't think I know what I want."