Joella
"I'm exhausted. This waddle is not cute. I need her to come on." Morgan complained as she finally sat on the sofa.
I shook my head at her before running my hand over her belly.
"Give mommy a little break. This is her third time going to the bathroom."
"I think your waddle is cute." Ashley teased, Morgan let out a sigh before smiling.
"I think we came up with a name."
Ashley and I leaned forward as we anticipated the name.
"Logan Marie Russo." She said while rubbing her belly.
Ashley and I both smiled. I like it...even though...
"That's a beautiful name for your baby girl. I understand why but at the same time-"
"I know, I know. I told Luca it probably wasn't a good idea to name our kid after the man who tried to give you a black rose."
I waved my hand at her.
"I've always liked the name Logan on a boy or girl. Our baby got nothing to do with that evil man." I started causing Morgan to shake her head and smile.
"Well, I'm glad you guys like it. I have an important question to ask you both." Morgan said as she looked down.
"Go on." Ashley pressed causing me to smile and chuckle.
"Will you ladies be her godmothers?"
We all stayed silent as Ashley and I looked at each other, our smiles growing bigger.
"Now you know the answer is yes," I said with a smile.
"Yea we're just waiting for you to ask we already took on the title the moment we knew you were pregnant," Ashley said and patted Morgan's shoulder.
"Y'all stay putting claims on my baby." She said with a laugh.
"Our baby." Ashley and I said at the same time causing all of us to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Haden asked as he walked into the house with the rest of the guys.
"Nothing, my two best friends stay putting claims on my baby."
"Our baby." Luca chimed with a smile.
"Exactly, our baby," Ashley said as she tilted her glass to Luca.
"You want a baby?" Haden asked and I can't lie. I was slightly stunned at the sudden question.
My face heated as the room grew silent. I glanced at Morgan and Ashley who both had knowing grins on their faces. Turning to face him, I couldn't help but notice the serious glint in his eyes. Does he want a baby now?
"Someday," I answered. Haden raised an eyebrow.
"Someday could be tonight. Be more specific."
My face heated more as I could feel everyone's eyes focused on us.
"I think a little Haden or Ella would be the cutest!" Ashley said, removing some of the awkwardness from the room.
"I do too," Micah said as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle.
"How did this topic turn so quickly," I said not able to make eye contact with Haden anymore.
The more they talked about us having kids, the darker his eyes grew. Now I'm going to have to keep an eye on my pills.
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"How bad is it?" Haden asked on the phone.
I wasn't sure what was going on. All I knew was Nonna had called and Haden was pacing in the kitchen as he talked. I realized something serious must have happened when he started to speak Italian.
I was still learning but from the little I could make out, I knew someone had been hurt. The fellas stood around the island with serious faces as they waited for Haden to get off the phone.
Soon he disconnected the call and sighed as he looked at the guys.
"Ghidorah trouble again?" Enzo asked with a sigh.
"Fucking Russians." Haden huffed. "We need to go to DyverCity. Kaleb was shot."
"Is he breathing?" Enzo asked. I knew he didn't care too much for Ghidorah but the look on his face showed he was worried.
"Barely, he flatlined twice, Nonna insists we go check on them."
They all nodded in agreement as Morgan and I shared a look. My thoughts went to Mia. I wondered how she was handling the news. If it was Haden...I couldn't even begin to imagine.
I looked back up to see Haden already looking at me. As if he could read my mind, he was in front of me within seconds.
"Nothing can take me away from you Tesoro." He whispered as he grabbed my face.
I gave him a small smile and nodded as he kissed the tip of my nose.
"When are you leaving?" I asked, wrapping my hand around his wrist as I leaned into his hands more.
"Tomorrow morning. Tony will be here before I leave."
I nodded. Did I want him to go? Not really, but I also knew this came with the job. I just hoped he would be safe. I didn't want Haden to become a bigger target, we had our own problems with the Russians.
Maxim's smug face popped into my head and I quickly shook the negative thoughts away. This was Haden we were talking about. I knew if he said he was coming back to me, there was nothing in this world that would stop him.
"How about we focus on making some babies when I come back." He slyly threw out there causing me to laugh and playfully push him back.
"One day," I said with a smirk.
"Soon." He added before pecking my lips a final time before straightening back up and walking back into the kitchen with the guys.
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"Joella, go get Brad's clippers please." My mom asked as I placed a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup in front of her.
"Why do you want the clippers?" I asked as I handed her the spoon.
Mom had gotten quite thin. She was still beautiful as ever but I could tell the chemo treatments were taking a toll.
"I want to shave my head." My head snapped in her direction.
"What?" I asked softly.
"My hair is thinning and falling out from the treatments. I rather just get it over with."
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared back at my mom. I looked for any sign of hesitation but there wasn't any. She had made up her mind.
"Why don't we wait for Brad-"
"No, he will try to talk me out of it. I want to do it now. Can you help me?"
My shoulders slumped as I slowly nodded my head. Going into their bathroom, I grabbed Brad's clippers off the wall and walked back into their bedroom.
"Don't look so down. AJ got me these beautiful head wraps and some gorgeous lace fronts." She said with a smile. AJ was mom's hair stylist, he had been doing her hair for over 20 years so I wasn't surprised in the slightest.
Even with that in mind, the lump in my throat grew more as she stood from her chair and walked to the vanity. Sitting in front of the mirrow, she removed her bonnet as I stared at her through the mirror.
She nodded with a light smile and gestured for me to turn on the clippers. Taking a deep breath I turned them on. Giving her another questioning look she sighed, grabbed the clippers, and ran them down her head.
My mouth flew open. I couldn't believe she did it. I stared at the line and finally looked up at my mom once she placed the clippers in front of me.
"No going back now." She said shakily. I nodded and grabbed the clippers. "Let's even this out okay?"
I nodded and began to shave the rest of her head. The lump in my throat grew bigger as I tried my hardest to keep my emotions intact. I sighed as I finished, still fighting the urge to cry. All of that went out the window the moment I looked back in the mirror.
Mom stared at herself, tears filled her eyes and I immediately wrapped my arms around her. Tears slid down her cheeks as her hands wrapped around my arm. I rocked her slowly as this was the first time she was letting out any emotion about all of this.
I hummed quietly before softly singing one of our favorite songs.
"Mama, mama, you know I love you.
Oh you know I love you, mama.
Mama, you're the queen of my heart.
Your love is like tears from the stars.
Mama, I just want you to know.
Loving you is like food to my soul."
Mom's hands tightened on my arm as I leaned my head against hers. Looking up at the mirror, I smiled as I watched a small smile form on her face.
"You know Mom, this is a look. You look gorgeous." I beamed. Not having hair brought out her features more and she looked a little younger.
She chuckled as she looked back at herself in the mirror. Turning her head back and forth, she smiled as she ran a hand over her head.
"Jada who?" She said with a laugh causing me to laugh and hug her tighter. Sighing contently we released each other just as Brad walked through the door.
"Honey, did you eat the s-" Brad stopped mid-sentence as his eyes widened once he saw my mom.
"Wow, honey." He said softly as he dropped his coat and walked over to my mom. Kneeling in front of her, he grabbed her face.
"Do you like it?" My mom asked softly.
Brad kissed the top of her head, down to her forehead.
"I love it, baby. I know this was tough for you. You still look radiant, you look younger." Brad said as he rubbed his thumbs along the sides of her face. "I just need to clean you up a bit. Will that be okay?"
Mom nodded as more tears fell down her face. I watched them silently as my tears formed in my eyes. I was happy my mom had Brad, he really loved my mom.
Standing upright, Brad turned to me and put his hand out for the clippers.
"You did good kid." He stated with a wink as he began to even out some spots.
Once he was finished, I had to admit he did an amazing job. He kissed mom's cheek before wrapping his arms around her.
They talked quietly as mom asked him about his day. With a smile on my face, I silently exited the room. As I made my way downstairs a knock came on the door.
I glanced at my watch before opening the door revealing Brandon. His eyes lifted to me and a smile came to his face.
"I was hoping you would be here." He said as I stepped back to allow him space to walk in.
"No hello?" He asked with a slight smile.
"Hi, Brandon," I spoke quietly. "Mom is upstairs."
Brandon nodded and headed up the steps before stopping and turning to me. With a sigh, his face turned serious as he walked back down the steps.
"I owe you an apology." He said once he was standing in front of me. I said nothing as I stared back at him.
"I was out of line the other night. I know you are faithful to Haden."
"I am. I would expect the same for you and your girl."
Brandon nodded as he let out a humorless laugh.
"Amaia is great, don't get me wrong. But I can't help my feelings. It's not fair to her, and for that reason I let her go." My eyes snapped to his. He was telling the truth.
A sinking feeling fell into the pit of my stomach as I swallowed.
"Brandon..I-"
"I know. I just wish you had given me a chance. I know I could've made you happy."
"Brandon-"
"Let me finish Jo, please." I released a breath as I silently shook my head. I don't need to hear this.
"I know you love Haden, and I know he loves you. But I also know he can't be there for you in your most critical moments."
"That's not true, he is always there for me. Always." I stated firmly.
"Well, where is he now?" Brandon questioned softly. To be honest the question caught me off guard.
Haden had to go check on Kaleb. But I knew if I needed anything, his jet would be in the air within the hour.
"Jo, I could tell when you opened the door you had been crying. Has Haden even really checked on you?"
That wasn't fair. Haden had a job to do and my mom's illness did not stop the rest of the world. He was here when he needed to be.
"That's not fair. The world doesn't slow down because I'm having a hard time."
"No, but with me, you would never have to put on a brave face." I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet.
"Haden had always made sure guys stayed at arm's length with you. Is this really what you want? How would you even know when you've experienced love from Haden's point of view only?"
I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off as Brandon continued.
"Wouldn't it be great to have a life where you didn't have to worry about your man being hurt or you becoming a target again? A life where you could be carefree and vulnerable and not made to feel weak. A life where everyone around you supported you and understood your day-to-day struggles. A life where you never felt out of place because everywhere you looked you felt at home." He paused but I knew he wasn't finished.
"I'm not telling you to break up with Haden. I'm just telling you to think about it. With everything going on in the world right now, can Haden truly relate to you? Do you even have conversations about the issues in the world today? Or do you ignore them? Act as if they don't exist as long as you and Haden are in your happy little bubble."
"Brandon...where is all this coming from?" I always knew Brandon still harbored some feelings towards me and some resentment towards Haden, but I didn't expect all this.
"Go to dinner with me tonight." I sighed and shook my head.
"I can't do that to Haden."
"Then call him and let him know I'm taking you to dinner."
"Brandon-"
"I need to check on your mom. Think about it Ella, please."
Without giving me a chance to reply he turned on his heels and walked up the steps. Sighing I plopped on the couch. If I called Haden, he would say no. I don't even know why I'm even considering this.
Leaning my head back on the couch. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. My thumb hovered over Haden's name before I sighed again and placed the phone down.
The right thing to do is say no.
Right?
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Hello, my lovely readers. I know it has been a while. Work, a sick kid, and traveling took a lot out of me. But I finally got this update for you all. Let me know what you think!
As always thank you for your patience and support!
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