AM I INVISIBLE TO YOU?
sunghoon had just started walking away from the long lunch line, a tray of somewhat edible food in his hands and a slight frown on his face. after everything that happened yesterday, he felt unwanted and as though he were a burden, even to jay, sunoo, and riki.
he found out that riki and jay had some close connections, so jay started sitting with them when he said that he felt better than before.
sunghoon was happy that jay was okay, but now it would just be even harder to hide his jealously.
he walked up to the table where the 3 friends were sitting and sat beside jay, who glanced over at him with a weird face.
"you seem bummed out, whats the matter?" jay asked, moving around the cauliflower on his plate with a fork.
is it that obvious? sunghoon thought to himself.
"o-oh, uhm, it's nothing, i just... didn't get a good nights sleep, that's all." sunghoon spoke with zero confidence in what he was saying, looking over at riki and sunoo who tried to look like they believed him.
"whatever floats your boat, hoon" jay decided to try the radioactive looking cauliflower on his tray and spat it out before he could even chew on it.
"ew.." sunoo sassed, covering his eyes.
"oh, shut up." jay scoffed, folding into laughter when sunoo put on an offended look.
sunghoon didn't feel like laughing, though. after yesterday, he just felt like the odd man out.
"i'm gonna go to the library..." sunghoon slung his backpack onto his back, alarming the others who looked confused. "bye.." he whispered before any of them got a chance to question him.
he quickly dashed out of the lunch room so that none of them could chase him and catch up with him. he let out a shaky breath, hands gripping the straps of his backpack tightly.
in reality, sunghoon wasnt going to the library (even though thats what he should've done considering he had a test just 2 periods after), but he was actually going to find jungwon. he should know by now that his attempts would always end badly, but he couldn't stop himself.
looking at his phone to check the time, he was happy to know there was still a good 25 minutes left of his lunch period, so he had plenty of time to find and talk to jungwon.
speaking of the devil, sunghoon saw the boy coming out of a classroom with an annoyed look on his face. he felt like he shouldn't intrude during a time where he may be annoyed, but hes had this look on his face so many times to the point where sunghoon thinks jungwon just has a resting bitch face.
"wonnie!" sunghoon spoke with a soft smile on his face. he wasn't sure himself where the nickname came from, but he liked using it.
actually, backspace.
"stop calling me that. what do you want?" jungwon scoffed out, crossing his arms while looking at the shorter. he softened his gaze when he noticed that sunghoons expression seemed to drop at his rude tone. "sorry, what do you need?" jungwon responded with a half-hearted demeanor.
sunghoon smiled again at his attempts to apologize and breathed in before speaking.
"uhm, i was wondering if you... if you meant what you said yesterday." sunghoon spoke in a soft voice, and his question left jungwon confused.
"what do you mean? everything i say, i mean." jungwon responded flatly, not caring on the context of the question.
"o-oh, well, i just wanted to know since i dont want to keep being scared by you and i want to try and actually be friends." sunghoons strong voice turned into a bare whisper as he slowly felt like he was rambling to the boy who seemed like he couldnt care less.
"sunghoon, don't you remember what I told you?" jungwon tried reminding the younger of the talk they had a few weeks prior. "we can't be friends. even if its in private." jungwon stated clearly, not backing down.
"but.. why? i've never done anything bad.." sunghoon pouted, arms flailing around his sides as he looked up at jungwon.
"my reputation is why! don't you know how many weird looks and snarky side comments i'd get if people knew i was friends with, let alone even TALKING to a person like you?" jungwon rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.
"do you care more about your reputation than me?" sunghoons tiny voice interrupted jungwons train of empty thoughts.
"what?" jungwon spoke bluntly, taken aback by how the younger wasnt crying already.
"i said... do you care more about your reputation than me?" sunghoon spoke slightly louder for the taller to hear.
"i-" jungwon was about to begin when sunghoon cut him off.
"jungwon, all i ever wanted to do was be your friend! i-i just want to talk to you, and- and get to know you and know why you do the things you do, but you always are too busy with yourself to focus on me!" sunghoons voice cracked as an emotionless tear trickled down his flawless skin. "you're too busy worrying about your enemies and your little one-night stands to ever think of how i feel!" sunghoon continued, absolutely bewildering jungwon.
"sunghoon thats not-" jungwon tried to speak, furrowing his brows when sunghoon kept sobbing out his feelings.
"you've taken over so much of my life! i bet you don't even know why i was "absent" those 2 days." sunghoons shouts faded into whispers.
"why were you then, huh? go ahead and tell me." jungwon cockily waited for what he thought would be a lame answer.
"because i was busy being under nurses watch for how bad of a panic attack YOU gave ME! you didn't even CARE! you never apologized and i bet you never even wanted to.." sunghoons tears were unstoppable, most would say he was sensitive but he had never spoken this much about himself in the span of 3 minutes to anybody.
"w-what?" jungwon stammered.
"why are you shocked? riki even said you called me sensitive and didn't give a shit about me." it was sunghoons turn to furrow his brows and cross his arms. he felt awfully confident right now, and even though it felt good, it felt like he was in another version of himself's body.
"well that was- it was just in the heat of the moment and i was mad because nishimura wouldn't tell me shit!" jungwon raises his voice, startling sunghoon since the argument had been calm so far. "i can't continue this in the middle of a fucking school hallway. come with me." jungwon dragged sunghoon outside the school by his upper arm rather painfully.
"ow! won- jungwon you're hurting me!" sunghoon tugged at his arm, but his pleads fell upon deaf ears.
once they were both outside and jungwon pushed sunghoon against the school backyards' wall, he immediately began to lash out words.
"sunghoon you're so God damn annoying! you're always crying, always nervous, and you whisper so damn low I can't even hear what the fuck you're saying half of the time!" jungwon yelled at the boy who was hiccuping and shaking at the unexpected insults.
"and i guess im sorry for having a love interest?! why don't you go find one for yourself instead of worrying about me having what you don't?" jungwon pointed at sunghoon in an targetted manner. "and don't even get me started on being friends with jay, he's a fucking piece of shit and you know it!" jungwon screamed so loud that sunghoon feared jay, sunoo, and riki could hear it from inside.
well, he was partially right on that one..
"yang jungwon its 11:45 AM in the morning why the absolute fuck are you-" an unknown voice stepped around the corner and made their way into the conversation before stopping at the messy scene in front of them. "what the fuck are you doing to him jungwon?" the person pushed jungwon away from sunghoon and checked his body for any injuries.
"heeseung-hyung, this isn't any of your business, go away." jungwon hissed, looking at sunghoon with eyes that showed both anger and pity.
"jungwon you were just screaming at this poor boy and you're expecting me to stay out of it?! you're lucky that it wasn't nishimura or jay who found you, because if it were, you'd be the one getting your ass screamed at." heeseung averted his focus from jungwon to sunghoon once more, missing jungwon rolling his eyes in annoyance. "are you okay?" heeseung asked the shaking boy who could only nod.
"jungwon you're taking him to the nurses office now. i'm not gonna be the one standing up for you this time." heeseung stood up straight (having to crouch down slightly due to his tall height in comparison to sunghoons short frame) and glared at jungwon.
"whatever.." jungwon scoffed, shooing away heeseung who seemed satisfied with his attempts. "you owe me one."
"no i dont, you owe him one." heeseung smiled sarcastically, motioning towards sugnhoon. his smile was the type that screamed "i will kill you if you don't do this".
"come on." jungwon carefully tugged at sunghoons hello kitty sweatshirt to lead him to the nurses office.
i wish i didn't lose control like that. jungwon thought. now he probably won't like me anymore.