My head starts spinning as Liv delves into everything she knows. From what she could gather, Blake cornered Chase last night and beat him to a bloody pulp before heading into school this morning to turn himself into the principal. Not just turn himself in, but Chase, Adam, and even Zack, who Chase and Adam supposedly paid to have the meeting with Blake on video in the hopes of absolving himself of any responsibility.
"It's insane," Liv says as Freddie and Kenny join us. "Not the beating Chase up part, that sounds like Blake, but him going to the principal. That is the most un-Blake thing I've ever heard of."
"Yeah," Freddie says, turning to me. He's got one hand on Liv's shoulder as he leans forward toward me, eyes wide like he's still trying to process everything; I am too. "You'd think he was part of the Mafia the way he vehemently opposes snitching. One time, Kenny called this kid a bitch when he cut Kenny off on his bicycle, but the kid thought it was Blake who said it, so he came back later with his friends and beat the shit out of Blake. Not once did he tell them it wasn't him. No offense," he says, turning to Kenny, "but if it meant preventing my ass from getting beat, I'd have turned you in."
"Thanks," Kenny says. "No, really."
"Do you remember when that girl accused him of stealing her pencil case?" Liv asks. "He'd even seen the kid who did it and still never snitched on him. Got detention and everything to protect someone he wasn't even friends with."
For some reason, hearing stories about Blake makes my heart jump. I've only ever known one side of him – the side he is with me – but there are sides to Blake I haven't yet seen, and the worst part is that if whatever this is ends for good, I never will. "What I'm hearing right now," I say, looking between the three of them, "is that Blake is an idiot."
"True," Liv says, "but clearly, he is an idiot in l–"
My glare renders her silent. The last thing I need is for Liv to throw around the L word during a time I'm trying to maintain my composure. "Is Chase suspended too?"
"All four of them were suspended for attempting to rig the election. Not sure what's happening with Blake beating up Chase since it was outside of school."
"Sounds a lot like a real election," Kenny says.
Liv must see the heartbreak on my face because she shoots a glare at Kenny before turning to face me. "No one really knows anything for sure," Liv says. "I think there's an ongoing investigation."
I pinch the bridge of my nose and try not to have a mini meltdown. It's not the impact of the campaign I'm concerned about –most of those willing to vote will have voted by now – but Blake. What if this suspension jeapordizes his future? What if he gets expelled? What if his brother finds out what happened and something goes wrong? He'd told Blake he needed to lay low, and getting suspended is the opposite of laying low. What if Blake gets taken into care?
"Rose," Liv says as she grabs my shoulders, "breathe."
But I can't breathe. This entire campaign has been one bad situation after another, and the person I'd usually go to about this kind of situation is the one person I should really stay away from. Where does that leave me?
"Do you think he's okay?" I ask. All I can think about is how he'll be sitting in that basement in the dark, no electricity, no heating, and no one to check on him or make sure he's okay. "Are you guys going to go round to his house tonight?"
Liv is about to speak when Freddie gives her a look that renders her silent. Turning to me, he says, "Blake doesn't usually like to talk to us after things like this, but maybe you should go and check on him."
My heart stutters once, then twice. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was a set-up. "If he doesn't want to talk to you about these things, what makes you think he'll talk to me?"
Freddie looks at me like I'm officially insane. "If you really don't know the answer to that question, then God help you both."
I sigh and slam my locker shut before looking at Liv for support. If anyone can understand how I feel, it's her, the girl who told me to forget everything else and go get my campaign, but right now she's looking at her feet in a way that is so unlike her.
"Liv, come on," I say. "Someone needs to go and check on him, and it shouldn't be me."
I sound heartless right now, but the truth is, I'm too afraid to see Blake tonight. I'm certain that the moment I see him, I'll forget everything that happened, forget what he did, and I'll forgive him because I miss him.
God, I miss Blake O'Hare, the boy who wears rock t-shirts and thinks Valentine's Day is a scam. Who spends all night smoking and thinks the government is out to get him. That Blake. But god help me, I do. I miss him more than anything, because I didn't just lose the boy I happened to kiss every now and then; I lost my friend.
"I can quickly stop by now," she says, "though I doubt he'll be happy to see me. The last time we spoke, I was kind of yelling at him about how stupid he was to do what he did."
"I could go over," Freddie says, "but half the time, he never opens the door to me."
We shoot Kenny a desperate look until finally, he sighs. "I'll go over now," he says.
Liv turns back to face me and says, "See? Don't worry, okay? This will all blow over soon."
I sigh and drag my gaze to the gossiping crowd. If I know anything about dramas and rumors, it's that they don't just die down – not without leaving a mark.
For the rest of the evening, I try to preoccupy myself with piano lessons and tutoring. Meridia, as usual, is thrilled to see me. She waits in the window for me to pull up and then opens the door with the plate of cookies she'd made ten minutes prior.
"Good luck cookies for your campaign," she says, and even though I try not to make a habit out of eating things she gives me – you never know where her little fingers have been – I find myself taking one as she leads me into the kitchen.
Mrs. Delaware stands at the sink washing dishes but turns around at my arrival. Smiling, she lifts her sud-soaked marionette gloves from the water and gracefully peels them off. "Lovely to see you, Rose. I've heard from your mother that you're on track to winning the presidency on Wednesday. I do hope you get it."
I force a smile. Clearly, my mother has been doing damage control. I doubt in her neighborly chats that she's mentioned my campaign captain is Blake. "I sure hope so, Mrs Delaware," I say. "but if not, I'm happy just to be working on the school council. Making a difference to our school community is important to me."
"Of course, of course," Mrs. Delaware says, "but you've put in so much hard work and faced so many setbacks not to win."
I look at her closely, wondering if the rumors have gotten out about Chase and Blake yet, but I'm certain if she knew anything, she'd have brought it up by now. Still, I'm so nervous about everything that's happened that I grab another three cookies as I slide onto a barstool and steadily munch away.
"I know," I say, glancing at Meridia, "but sometimes it's not winning that's important. It's putting yourself out there."
"Hmm," Mrs. Delaware says and moves to the teapot. "Do you want something to drink, Rose? I just bought these new chai tea bags that taste divine."
"They don't," Meridia says, scrunching her nose. "They taste like moldy dishwater."
I don't ask how Meridia knows what moldy dishwater tastes like, I just fervently shake my head. "No, thank you, I'm okay."
For the next few minutes, Meridia watches me across the table as I demolish her cookies. Turning her head and squinting a little, she says, "You look sad today."
"I'm not sad," I say, but I have to look away because she's got this all-knowing, all-seeing stare that looks right through my soul. And I'm not sad – if anything, I'm confused. One moment, I'm adamant I can never forgive Blake for betraying me that way, but now after hearing he's been suspended, part of me just wants to see him, even if it's only for a moment. A second. Even if it doesn't last.
"C'mon, Meridia." I reach into my bag and pull out the fancy pencils she likes. "We're working on punctuation and finger spaces today."
For the rest of our session, I forget about Blake and Chase and the campaign and focus on what I like doing: helping people. By the time we've finished, Meridia can – for the most part – remember where her full stops go, and her words resemble words instead of snake-like creatures that stretch across the page.
"I'm glad you're here to help me," Meridia says as we pack away. "When mommy tries to help me, she gets so cross when I can't remember stuff."
"That's not your fault," I say softly. "You know that, right? Sometimes it takes a little time to learn things, and that's okay."
She smiles, and for the first time, her little eyes light up in a way I've never seen. "See you next week?"
I smile and say, "See you next week."
As soon as I'm outside, I sit in my car, hands on the wheel, and try to convince myself not to go over to Blake's. As much as I want to make sure he's okay, I know that going over will only make things more complicated, and complicated before election day is the last thing I need.
Besides, Liv will have checked in on him to ensure he's okay, so the best thing for me to do right now is to go home and do some homework. But there's this voice whispering softly in the back of my mind that if I don't see him now, when will I? Tomorrow, I might have regained the resolve I've been clinging to all day; it's now or never.
Against my better judgment, I reverse out of the drive and make my way to Blake's house, thinking over what I'll say. It feels like forever since I've spoken to him, even though it's only been a few days, and part of me is scared that the moment I see him, I'll give in completely. The other part of me is scared that I won't. What if when I see him, I realize it's gone? The trust, the closeness, the spark.
What if this is finally it?
A/N
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