This has been excruciating, the last three weeks have been awful. I guess I really didn't realize until after it happened how much I truly missed him, and I know I've treated him like shit. I don't know what to do at this point, I am thinking I should just leave him alone. After he quit showing up during lunch, I think he's on the exact same page. I mean the man is nowhere, the hot tub was moved, the office has been empty, my messages have been going to his assistant about the project. I cannot do this anymore, I feel like I can't do anything right now, I can't even think straight wondering where he is and what he is doing. My guys have mostly been doing the project they have all realized something is going on and are stepping up and Jason actually has them ahead of schedule.
I am with the guys in the restaurant eating I am just staring a hole into what I think is some more crab bisque, the last time we had it was that day and I can only just feel a punch looking at it. More memories rush through my head before I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn my head seeing Felix himself standing behind me. He nods to the side and I stand up, Jason sends me a look and I follow him away from the table before he stops walking.
"Can we talk please?" He asks and those eyes sends another bead of hurt right through me.
"Yeah, actually." I answer nodding my voice coming out in a croak.
"You can eat first I don't want to interrupt I have to do a few things." He says and I nod.
"Okay, definitely." I say and he nods walking off, Camille meets him at the door with the tablet and it looks like they discuss. I go back to my table and his gaze meets mine and I read so many emotions through his eyes and a deep spark settles in my chest forcing me to look away. I watch as they discuss, his eyes catch on mine a few times a few times it looks like he is almost crying.
"Are you okay?" Jason elbows me.
"I think so." I answer honestly. He nods engaging back in the conversation with everyone else, a few times Camille has to tap him to get his attention. He finally tells her something and she disappears, he stays there before a deep emotion passes through his eyes.
I see him go through the door to the bathroom, and with the lingering stares we have been sending each other since he asked me to talk to him, I feel pulled. I get up and slowly make my way over to the bathroom door, and I nudge it open. I realize there are only two stalls and I walk to the first one and see him standing there, door wide open. He looks up and those piercing green eyes make eye contact with me. I've been longing him to touch him for so long, but I don't know if he'll let me, I want to find out.
I take a step closer to him stepping into the stall, he does nothing but look down rolling his shoulders, his suit is so tight in all the right places. I reach forward in front of me and put my hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me. I know he has a girlfriend; I know it but I can't control the way I feel, and I want him. I bring my hand back to my side.
"Felix I'm sorry for treating you like shit." I tell him and he scoffs meeting my gaze.
"I'm sorry for treating you like shit." He matches my sentiment. I feel this pull to touch him, to display to him how sorry I am, my chest hurts so much like it's trying to jump out of my chest to get to him. I step closer to him.
"Are you going to stop me?" I ask and he looks down saying nothing. "Look at me." I order and he does, with a tired look on his face.
"You and I both know I would never stop you." He whispers, and I lunge forward stealing his lips in a searing kiss, it feels as if two pieces are being sealed together in this moment. I pull away breathing heavily and I see that spark I once saw years ago, the one I fell in love with in his eyes. "Please, Dom." He looks at my lips.
"Why did you choose her?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"I don't know." He answers. I turn around darting out of the bathroom stall and go to the door, I flip the lock locking us in together.
"We were good together." I tell him when he follows me out.
"You think I don't know that." He mutters rubbing his hand over his face. "I know I have no right." He starts speaking walking up to me.
"No right?" I question and he stops with a sigh in front of me.
"Give me this, a few minutes I don't care, I need..." He stops speaking looking at my lips.
"You need me?" I question and he nods.
"Please. I miss you." He starts and I scoff remembering how he walked off with her leaving me in our hometown with a broken heart.
"I'll give you this." I start and I slowly start walking towards him, not stopping until I back him into a wall. "When you were mine, I kept you satisfied." I almost groan.
"I know." He agrees.
"Why switch from dick to pussy within a night?" I ask and he scoffs. I lean back away from him, holding my arms out. "One minute, I knew you had a girlfriend but I thought you liked me, the next you leave with her. I'm just trying to get answers as to where I went wrong." I spit out and he scoffs, stepping away from the wall back towards me.
"Don't you get it?!" He starts and I shrug arching a brow at him. "I loved you!" He blurts out and my heart starts beating twice as fast digesting this new information. "I do love you..." He whispers.
"I loved you too. So why leave?" I ask and he scoffs.
"We were best friends messing around at night, my girlfriend didn't satisfy me so you did. You didn't love me." He mutters. I start shaking my head, taking a step towards him, I take a deep breath to calm myself.
"Baby, I never had a girlfriend." I speak and he scoffs.
"Like that had anything to do with my feelings!" He spits out and I walk up to him putting a hand over his mouth, pushing my body against his as I back him against a wall once more.
"Listen to me." I slowly take my hand away from his mouth. "I lived for you, I loved taking care of you." I whisper and he looks surprised before he blinks it away slowly.
"You never had a girlfriend, and you never cared to get one because you wanted me..." He whispers.
"Yes!" I answer immediately. "It was ten years ago, but I remember those nights like it was yesterday. I didn't say I love you the first time you said it because I was unsure, and you had a girlfriend. But I loved touching you, I lived for it." I speak as he walks around me to the mirror closing his eyes. "The way you would come over, we would watch a movie and my hands would be itching to touch you..." I start and he shakes his head.
"Stop." He mutters.
"The way I would lean over and kiss you, you would melt into my touch." I keep going.
"Stop." He says once more.
"The way you moaned, and told me exactly what you wanted from me. The way you told me that I was the only one that could make you..." I trail off.
"Stop lying!" He darts over to me, putting his hand across my chest. I sigh and look into his eyes once more.
"If I'm lying, why do you want me to stop talking?" I ask. I look into his eyes and see him, look down at my lips before I feel his lips on mine. I pull him away from me my hands in his hair. "If you want me one last time, I'll give you that, but don't expect me to stand back while you break me again." I tell him. He looks at my lips his lips parted breathing heavily.
"Deal." He breaks my hold and kisses me, and his front meets mine. My cock hard and throbbing against the front of my pants. Before I lose control, I push him away and he looks confused.
"I said I would give you one time, I never said it would be here." I run the back of my hand over my lips.
"Where then?" He asks backing up until his back hits the sink and I smirk.
"Come to my room, you're the owner I'm sure you've been obsessing over where it is. Come there, and make up an excuse because you won't be leaving my bed for the rest of the night." I whisper walking up to him. I start kissing his neck and he stiffens.
"Don't leave marks." He whispers.
"I know, baby." I find myself saying, I kneel down in front of him and reach for his belt unbuckling it. "Where is she?" I ask.
"Out with her girlfriends." He mutters, he puts his hand in my hair.
"Good." I mutter, I pull out his cock, and my mouth waters taking in the red head. The veins down to the base of his length, I squeeze him just slightly, and he gasps a bead of precum leaking from the head.
"I thought you said one time." His hand in my hair tightens, and I lean forward licking up the bead, I almost groan at his taste.
"This is for me. Because I can't go another minute without seeing you come." I lean forward wrapping my lips around him and his head rolls back, his hand tightening in my hair.
"Fuck." He mutters, and I suck just gently, and he rolls his hips forward. I start moving my head up and down his length faster like I remember he likes, and he puts his hand over his mouth. I reach up shoving his pants down lower and I put my hands on his bare hips.
I remember the way he practically melted into the bed when I was done with him. I remember how us, two teenage boys used to cuddle, and I remembered how I felt remembering he had a girlfriend. I shove those thoughts out of my head and watch as his jaw drops as he gasps, the sounds of his deep throaty moans sound like music to my ears. I take in this moment to remember everything about him, he starts rolling his hips in time with my mouth, and I moan around him, I start moving my tongue under him massaging him there.
"I'm...." He trails off. I feel his cock twitch before he comes into my mouth, and I moan at his taste as his juices slide down my throat. I stand up pulling his pants up kissing him, as I put him back together in his suit.
"You broke me." I whisper and he looks up into my eyes. "So slowly I didn't notice until the day came where it all came crashing down." I shake my head trying to clear my head of the memory.
"I'm sorry." He whispers.
"I know." I say genuinely knowing he is. I put my hand right over his crotch and lean in his breathing deep and hard. "I'll give you one night, where I please you over and over. But anymore and you will destroy me." I whisper against his neck.
"How do you know this time I won't leave her?" He whispers shuddering when I squeeze him a little tighter.
"I don't. You have two choices." I quip.
"Those are?" He asks.
"You can let me fuck you one more night and walk away. Or you can leave her and be with me after the night." I tell him letting go I step to the side and brush my hair down in the mirror before I walk to the door.
"You are the only one..." He starts and I stop walking, turning to face him. "You are the only one who knows what I want." He finishes saying.
"You asked me to take your first time, and I did. She stills thinks she was your first." I tilt my head to the side. "I know who you want, although I refuse to say who." I shake my head.
"Why?" He asks.
"Because you're afraid for your family to know who, and that's your place to tell not mine." I reason and he scoffs.
"You can't even tell me who I want with no one in the room?" He asks.
"Whatever name you're hoping I say should be answer enough." I smirk. "My family knows I'm gay, nobody knows about you. You I wanted to keep to myself." I rake my eyes over him one last time. He rolls his head and shoulders, and I like that I at least have been able to actually talk to him.
"Why are you telling me this?" He asks and I arch a brow an interesting question coming to mind.
"When was the last time you had sex before I came to town?" I ask and he scoffs.
"That's hardly any of your business." He whispers looking down at the floor he is fidgeting with his thumb with his left hand something he does, when he's intimated. I feel a little bit of relief knowing that not only has just the spark not changed... but other things haven't either.
"The lack of an answer tells me, it's been a long fucking time." I smirk looking back up at him, he shakes his head avoiding my gaze. "I'm not here to manipulate you, and I'm hardly here to demand answers. I'm here to complete a job and to leave. If you decide to give me a reason to stay... you know I will stay." I turn back to the door flipping the lock. I want to get one more look at him, but I don't think my heart can take it, I inwardly shake my head at myself and exit the bathroom before I do something I can't reverse.