Chapter 53: Desk Buddy
"And that concludes our quarterly analysis meeting."
Chris almost let out a sigh of relief to know that the Data Analysis team didn't have any more data to report. The majority of the statistics they showed seemed to be the same as the first report, but Chris still had to be alert and hear all that they had to say. Chris went back and forth between writing down notes and doodling on the corners of the page to keep himself awake. He had the toughest morning of meeting after meeting after meeting. But finally, his third and final meeting was over.
Chris took his time standing up, shaking hands with any colleagues he could reach, and watched each of them exit the room one by one. Once the room was empty, he left to go to the bathroom to de-stress. He needed to splash some water on his face and take a break before he could get back to work. Chris waltzed out of the meeting room, racing for the bathroom. But before he could reach the door, the sound of laughter drifted up into his ear. He would have recognized that sound anywhere.
Ignoring his post-meeting ritual, Chris went back to his team where he found him. Ethan was sitting next to Raul, laughing at something on his computer screen. Compared to this first time, he somehow looked even more relaxed in the Puma office. He navigated the space easily in that boyish way of his. The professional mask was off, revealing instead the natural charisma that Chris knew well. Chris admired Ethan for so long that he forgot that he wasn't expecting him today.
As if tethered to the other man, Ethan looked up just as Chris reached their desks, his smile mirroring the one growing on Chris's face.
"Welcome back," Ethan drawled with a sing-song voice, standing up to greet him. Chris chuckled and hugged Ethan without thinking about it. Ethan felt when his body froze, realizing that he was hugging Ethan in front of all of his coworkers. Ethan pulled away first. He didn't want to feel Chris move away.
"I'm the one who should be saying that. It is my office," Chris said with a chuckle. Ethan did his best to hold his smile up as he sat next to Raul for a second time. "So what are you doing here?"
"Oh, you know, work," Ethan said, dismissively waving a hand in the air. "It's stressful and incredibly boring at the same time and the fun part, the system analysis, has to go to my subordinates. I just needed a break."
"I see."
"I-" Ethan cut himself off, laughing at the thought he hadn't yet shared. "I told them I came to negotiate prices even though we could do it through email. It took me like two minutes to discuss it with Mohammed and now I'm here."
"Glad to have you," Raul broke in, pulling another laugh from Ethan.
Chris walked around Ethan to get to his seat, brushing the other man's shoulder with his hand as he passed. Ethan immediately noted the touch and looked up, catching Chris's eye as he lowered into his chair. Maybe Chris's wasn't as on-edge as Ethan initially thought.
For a while, Ethan made sporadic conversation with the others in the office and amused himself with Raul's work. But soon, the shared glances with Chris felt too pointed to ignore. At one point Ethan looked over at him and Chris made a gesture with his head.
Come over.
Ethan sucked his lips into his mouth, awkwardly standing up. The loud drag of the chair legs against the floor made him wince and it took every fiber of his being to continue moving away from Raul's desk. The wonderful sound of tile against metal resulted in all eyes being on him as he lifted his chair and shuffled over to place it next to Chris's.
"That wasn't as discreet as I'd hoped," Ethan whispered, pushing himself to laugh even when he didn't find this to be quite so funny. Chris side-eyed him, smirking at the sight of his discomfort.
"You never were great at fitting in, Ethan," He decided. "You're too damn special."
Chris looked straight at his computer, continuing to work as if he hadn't said a word. But he did and Ethan struggled to keep the smile off of his face. For once, instead of toning down his energy, Ethan felt the need to dial it up. Wouldn't it seem strange that he was cooling down now that he was seated next to Chris? Wouldn't his preference to whisper jokes to the man next to him instead of making them to the entire team stick out? Either way, Ethan was hyper-aware and wanted to make the right choice for Chris.
Chris noted his anxiety and did his best to make Ethan feel comfortable. Many times it was he who initiated the whispering or stole a touch underneath the bright white desk. Chris was a working adult but he had his incredible boyfriend right next to him. They needed to seize the opportunity and enjoy it.
Chris glanced at his clock, noting it was about time for him to make his rounds. A few times per day, Chris would like to make his rounds and check up on everyone on the team. They did a lot of independent work in his department, going days at a time without needing to ask another coworker about their task. But Chris found it important to check up on everyone a few times a day regardless. He found that they often had more questions to ask than he first assumed, and were more likely to ask when he made himself available. It also was a reminder that they were still working, and plenty of times he noticed backs get straighter as he made his rounds since people had to get back on task.
Chris was in the middle of writing a sentence when the time came and rushed to finish his thought and get the email sent. As he typed through his closing remark, he noted Jung-hae standing up. He made a note of her movement. I'll have to check up on her after she returns from the bathroom. But, she wasn't going to the bathroom. Jung-hae went to stand behind Raul's desk, hand on the back of his chair as she leaned forward.
"Hey, Raul. What are you up to?"
Chris's fingers hovered above his computer keys and sat perfectly still, watching Jung-hae make his rounds. He couldn't blink, he couldn't breathe. He was barely aware of himself, his entire being solely focused on what was happening in front of him. And Ethan would be damned if he didn't notice the change. Chris looked stunned. Even with little context of how they worked as a team, Ethan understand that whatever Jung-hae was doing could not be a part of her job description.
Chris's breath returned to him in a small gasp when Ethan touched his arm, bringing his mind back to his own flesh. Chris looked over at his boyfriend, meeting the eyes of concern that stared back.
"Can you show me where the bathroom is again?" Ethan asked, speaking loud enough for the entire team to hear. "I forgot."
Jung-hae looked up from where she was hovering over another one of her co-workers, finding Ethan with a pleasant smile.
"If you walk straight ahead then turn left, the bathroom-"
"It's alright, Jung-hae," Chris interrupted gruffly, trying to look at anything but the young woman's face. "I can show him myself."
The tension grew thick. Somehow, even the subject of showing Ethan the bathroom has become a matter of contention. Luckily, they knew where to pick their battles. Jung-hae went back to making comments about the young woman's work and Chris began leading Chris to the bathroom. They moved normally for a time, a healthy distance between them. The second they were out of sight, however, it turned from Chris leading Ethan to Ethan dragging him down the hall to the first corner he saw. There was little privacy but the connected walls and lack of bodies created an illusion of such. It would be enough.
Ethan turned around, grabbing Chris's shoulders firmly with his fingertips. It forces Chris to look right at him as Ethan spoke.
"What's wrong?"
He tried to act like he didn't know what Ethan was talking about. He lasted for about two seconds. With his emotions still fresh and Ethan pinning him with serious brown eyes, he caved.
"Jung-hae is a leader," He said, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "She wants to lead and she's more than happy to help when she sees fit."
"I saw her trying to take your job," Ethan shot back, making Chris shoot him a sharp glare.
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm serious. She's overstepping!" He complained, his frown growing deeper the more he thought of it. "Maybe it would be such a big deal if you weren't bothered by it but you clearly are."
"No, I'm not," Chris insisted. He stepped away from Ethan, letting the other man's hands fall back to his sides. "You don't need to tell me how to feel, thanks."
The sudden attitude catches Ethan off-guard. Jung-hae's offense was momentarily forgotten, Chris's attack now taking precedence. Even Chris could tell how out of pocket that was and quickly backtracked. He sighed deeply, pulling Ethan into his arms and squeezing just tight enough.
"I'm sorry. Just- don't worry about it. My team and I are in a great place."
"Okay," Ethan agreed softly, most of his volume caught in the fibers of Chris's shirt.
Chris had to focus on Ethan's feelings for a moment. If he concentrated on his own, he would only grow more upset. Ethan had the tendency to impose his thoughts. Just because Ethan wanted things a certain way doesn't mean that Chris thinks the same.
Did it seem like Chris needed help? Was his incompetence as a leader clearer than he imagined? Why else would he be so quick to push his opinion of the situation? Chris was the leader of the advertising division. If there was something going on with his team, he would be the first to know.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Chris cut himself off. This was the train of thought he wanted to avoid. Ethan wanted to help, which was clear. Chris just had to steer the conversation away from Jung-hae and they would be fine.
Ethan hugged Chris firmly, grasping tightly onto the back of the taller man's suit jacket. But, he didn't feel fully at ease. He couldn't imagine spending another hour ignoring the tension that kept them apart even when there was literally no distance between them. Chris's usually comforting arms felt suffocating and Ethan pulled back as fast as he could.
"We should go," Ethan shot out quickly, heading back towards the desks. "Your team is probably waiting for us."
Raul noticed the two coming back from the bathroom, eyeing the time with a raised brow.
"That was a long bathroom trip. Did you get lost?" Ethan rolled his eyes, marching right back to his seat with rushed feet. Chris moved to hit the older man upside the head, pausing when he saw Raul flinch.
In another space, maybe he would have gone through with it. But this was a fine establishment and Chris was a role model. He had to set the precedent. As Chris got settled behind his computer screen, his eyes caught Jung-hae's. He wondered why she was looking at him before an idea came to mind. Was she judging him for how he handled Raul? Her judgment shouldn't have affected him. Her opinion should have seemed minor. But for the first time, it occurred to Chris that this, along with several other issues, could be why she felt the need to step up.
Because there was a space to step into.
A chill ran down Chris's neck and he broke eye contact first. The thought was just too much. Ethan planned to stay for longer but some of the magic was gone. Staying felt much more weighted than he expect it to and the elevator in the distance seemed to grow a halo.
"I think I'm going to head out."
The familiar sounds of complaint accompanied Ethan's announcement. They were the soundtrack to Ethan's triumphant walk out of the office. This time, Chris stayed in his seat but right before he got out of view, Ethan looked for him. When he caught his eye, he stared at Chris intently. Whether Chris denied it or not, Ethan knew what he saw. It was up to Chris to do something about it.
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Come on protective Clark! I love to see him get a little mean.
This chapter really brought me back to Running From Him. I forgot how much I love to write about Santiago. He was always a fun character for me to write, though I don't know why.
Anywho,
How was Halloween for you guys?
I hope that those of you who celebrated had a spooky time.
And update, I think I'm seeing the end of this book. I won't give any specifics yet but guys, I think that we're in the final days. Grab your popcorn and napkins because you're in for a treat.
Anyway,
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