⚠️TW: Mentions of abuse and rape
Chapter Song - Gilded Lily by Cults
"Can I have some more Ice cream daddy?" Hallie asks me, wide eyes pleading up at me.
Normally I'm a sucker for those big puppy eyes that Hallie and Bridie do - Daphne is much better at restraining herself from them - but Hallie has already had an extra scoop tonight and I don't need her being high on sugar.
"No sweet pea," I shake my head 'no' and she pouts.
Grabbing her empty bowl, I put it into the filled sink covered with soap suds as I continue washing the dirty dishes from dinner - Daphne standing next to me and wiping the clean dishes dry. Her vanilla and lavender scent drawing me closer unconsciously to her warm presence.
"I'm proud, you finally restrained from her puppy eyes," Daphne comments and I chuckle lightly.
"It was difficult," I reply. Those puppy eyes never fail to make me melt into a puddle, especially if they jut their bottom lip out and grab my leg, giving me a leg hug.
"I get it, it is hard to say no sometimes," Daphne says.
I shake my head. "It seems so easy for you," I comment as Daphne doesn't even hesitate most of the time when Hallie or Bridie try to beg her with their big puppy dog eyes.
She shrugs. "I had a younger brother to take care of, he would always plead me for more lollies or dessert. I guess I built up a restraint to it," she says.
I frown. "How come you took care of your younger brother?" I ask her. I know there's a lot about her past and childhood she hasn't told me and maybe she won't tell me. But I want to at least make her know she can tell me, because the one thing I would never do is judge her and I know she thinks I may because we're from different economic backgrounds.
She hesitates. "Uh, my mum was a single mum for a big chunk of our childhood, so she was out working majority of the time. I had to step up and take care of my brother," she tells me, and my heart breaks for her.
Not only did she have to grow up quickly at such a young age to help her brother, but also the fact her mother would've worked so incredibly hard to take care of two children.
I don't know her mother or brother - yet - but I'm not going to lie and say I'm not curious about the pieces of her past she's not telling me. I also know I won't force her to tell me something incredibly personal for her, I just want to know what those nightmares she has are about. The walls aren't that thick, so I can hear when she gets up in the middle of the night startled by one of her nightmares.
I nod. "I'm sorry that you had to endure that at a young age," I tell her, and she smiles softly.
"Thanks," she mutters and we fall back into a comfortable silence, finishing the dishes. I would use the dish washer, but I like the time alone I get to talk to her when we wash dishes - its warmly intimate.
Finishing the dishes, the two of us go grab the girls and Daphne takes them for a bath while I clean up their rooms a bit. I know their young, but the mess they make never fails to amaze me and they never seem to care.
"Daddy!" Bridie runs into her room fully naked and catapults herself onto me. From the surprising force she jumps onto me, I fall backwards and she giggles.
"Bridie," Daphne laughs, shaking her head. Daphne throws me her frog themed towel and I wrap her up so she doesn't get cold.
"You cheeky monkey," I blow a raspberry onto her neck and then onto her belly. She lets our a shring of hysterical bubbles of laughter that leave her breathy and red.
While Daphne deals with Bridie, I go into Hallie's room and she sits under her covers scanning a line of her stuffed animal toys - probably contemplating which one she wants to sleep with tonight. Unlike Bridie, she sleeps with one or two toys at night, Bridie sleeps with the whole damn zoo.
"Daddy," Hallie calls and I sit on her bed, taking the toys she didn't choose and placing them onto the ottoman at the end of her bed.
"Yes, sweetie?" I question.
"Can Lolli be our new mummy?" she asks and I freeze.
I smile at her begging eyes. "You really like her, don't you?"
She nods. "I do too, but it's not a very quick task to make her your new mummy," I tell her and she frowns.
"Why?" she questions. If you only new.
"There's just a few things daddy has to take care of, but we'll get there," I whisper, and press a bunch of kisses all over her face until she pushes me away all puffed out.
"Night night, my sweet," I tell her, pressing a kiss to her forehead and turning off her side lamp off.
She mutters a sleepy 'night daddy' before snuggling into her covers and pillow. I leave her room and head into Bridie's where she's already fast asleep - completely passed out - so I just press a feather kiss on her forehead and pull the covers up to her shoulder.
I shut Bridie's bedroom door, then make my way back downstairs where I see Daphne wiping down the island counter. The girls can be messy eaters sometimes and tonight was pasta night, so you can imagine - little girls + pasta sauce = messy night.
"Hey," I say when I enter the kitchen, her head perks up and she smiles softly. I always like when the girls have gone to bed and its just us two awake, we don't normally do much, maybe just lounge around on the couch and watch the news or do our own thing. But I don't want to do that tonight.
"Hey," she greets, and I walk around to the alcohol cabinet and pour myself a glass of whiskey.
"I'm gonna sit out on the deck for a while, care to join me?" I ask, and she seems taken back by my offer for a moment.
"Sure," she smiles.
"Want a drink?" I ask.
"No, I don't like alcohol," she states, and from her distant reaction to the bottle of whiskey I wonder if somewhere in her childhood alcohol played a bad presence in her life.
I just nod and we both make our way outside to the deck. We take a seat in two of the lounge chairs that sit next to each other. It's dark outside, the moon and stars the only form of light along with the distant yellow from the kitchen brings a kind luminescence to us outside.
It's silent between the both of us as we just relax into the cushioned chairs, and look up at the midnight sky full of stars.
"I always loved looking at the stars when I was little," Daphne says, her eyes focused on the flashing lights in the sky. "They gave me hope and peace. I would always wished upon the first star I saw in hopes.." she drifts off.
"In hopes?" I question softly.
"In hopes my mum, brother and I could have a better life," she says. "It came true," she smiles and my lips tip upwards at the knowing it got better for her.
"They are beautiful," I comment, getting memories about my nerdy younger brother who was always obsessed with the the stars, moon, and anything space related.
He still is a huge nerd.
"I'm glad it got better," I say, and out of the corner of my eye I see her staring at me, which makes my heart beat an extra beat.
"Me too. It was difficult back then, but then my mum met my stepfather David and he really rescued us all," she smiles at the thought of her step dad.
"I've heard great things about David from the girls, they said they love your family and want to see them again," I smile, remembering the long rants they went on about visiting Daphne's family a few months ago.
She smiles. "They are pretty great," she laughs. "Although my brother Nick can be annoying, but aren't all brothers?" she says and I nod in agreement.
"Couldn't agree more. I love my brother, but goddamn he can get on my nerves, and he knows that and does it purposefully," I shake my head at the sheer thought of him.
"You have a brother?" Daphne asks in slight surprise.
I nod. "Yep, he's a few years younger than me. Lives down in Boston though, he's a manager for some office company," I tell her.
"Wow, another thing we have in common," she says.
"What else do we have in common?" I ask, wanting to know what mental list she has of things we have in common.
"Well," she smiles. "We both like hand washing the dishes rather than using the dishwasher," she says and I laugh, knowing I hand wash them just so we can get time alone. "I also have never used a dishwasher, so that adds to it," she shrugs casually.
I want to know more about her, and not just the outside, but her deepest fears, hopes, secrets and desires. "I'm sorry if this seems to," I search for the word, "personal to ask, but you tend to dim at the mention of your childhood, when you were younger. You can tell me about it, I won't judge, and maybe it'll lift some of the weight on your shoulders if you think you have to hide that part of yourself from me. Because you don't," I tell her and she inhales sharply.
She's silent for a moment and a stab of worry peaks in my mind, and I worry if I've over stepped my boundaries. Boundaries that I've already snapped in half.
"No, it's okay Danny," she says and I hide a smile at the mention of my name. I love the way my name - nickname - just rolls off her lips. Just the simple action of her saying my name makes my dick twitch at the thought of her moaning my name as I pump in and out of her pussy.
"I lived in the South Bronx in my early childhood, and as you would know it's not the best place to live," she says and I just nod, not wanting to interrupt her talking. "I lived their with my father until he left when I was young and it then became just me, my brother and my mum. When he left it all fell apart. My mum was not only suffering from a broken heart, but she had to manage three jobs - two daytime jobs and...a- a nighttime one," she almost whispers the 'nighttime'.
She sighs, her throat bobbing. "My mother worked as a prostitute, and she would go out almost every night gaining customers. My mum tried to take the men she acquired to a hotel room or somewhere away from where my brother and I were at home, but a lot of the time it just didn't work out like that," she says.
"It was okay for the most part, my brother and I just had to hide in the dark corner behind the couch so we wouldn't be seen by whatever man she brought home. It was for our safety since some of the men would get...aggressive," she says and I suck in a breath, just imagining where she's going with this.
"It would go fine most of the time. The man would come over, they'd do you know and then he'd pay and leave. But some men didn't want to pay or didn't like the experience or just something fucking stupid, and she'd try and calm them down but we weren't able to afford a heap of food so we didn't eat a lot. Meaning my mother was quite skinny and frail back then and didn't have the strength to defend herself from much stronger and bigger men. Sometimes they'd hit her, or-, ' Daphne chokes down a cry and I grab her hand. I squeeze it tightly and she grips onto it as if its a light in the forrest of darkness she's reminiscing.
"Or r-rape her and I wanted to do something to protect her, but I- I- was only seven and so little, I was scared. So I stayed hidden and would cover my brothers ears instead of my own, so he didn't have to hear her screams and the whacks and hits. But the worst were her wails afterwards, it was pure pain, nothing I want to hear ever again. But I can't escape those because you don't forget wails like that from someone you love," she wipes a few stray tears off her face.
She takes a small break, trying to control her heavy breaths and choked up throat. "But there was one time and a man came over as usual. So as usual Nicki and I hide behind the couch and he sat in my lap while I held him tightly to my chest," she begins.
"We sat and just drowned out the noises, but it was different this time, because Nick started crying and I couldn't quiten him and the man heard him and found us behind the couch. He was furious and ripped Nick out of my lap and threw him to the floor, then he grabbed me by the shoulders and he was so much bigger than me and I tried to scratch at his eyes, kicking and screaming as loud as I could," my heart beats erratically, and not the exhilarating kind.
"My mother did everything with all her might to get him to let go of me, but he just slammed her to the ground, so she had to watch as he beat me, hit me hard over and over. I don't know why he did that, didn't just leave, maybe he enjoyed hitting children or was angry. God, I have no idea what it was," she lets out a sob and my heart breaks, my eyes welling up with tears knowing she had to experience this at the age of seven. Seven years old.
"I've never been so terrified in my entire life, and I remember thinking I just wanted to die. I wanted my eyes to close and just fall into a deep sleep that I never woke up from," she says, holding her hand over her mouth to catch her sobs.
"After that my mother stopped being a prostitute, taking up another nighttime job that was safer. It didn't pay as well, but she wasn't going to put us in danger like that, even if it meant less food for herself," Daphne says, composing herself a little more.
"My mother then met David, he came into one of the shops she was working at and he instantly fell for her. Love at first site you could say," she laughs lightly. "But he didn't just rescue my mum, he rescued my brother and I, and for the rest of our childhood we lived at his house which was a white picket fence family house. It was amazing when he came into our lives and swooped my mum off her feet, and they've been cheesily in love ever since," she smiles, staring up at the midnight sky with a smile.
"I believe it's because I wished upon a star and I still think that stars hold so much hope and love, simply because people send up their hopes to them and they collect them. Which creates this huge magnetic force of light and love that if you wish hard enough they'll see you staring up at them and grant you what you need - not what you want, what you need," she says with a ghost smile.
It's quiet between us when she finishes talking. I'm not sure what to say, she poured her heart out and deepest fears and memories to me and here I am completely silent. I guess i'm processing it all, the fact she had to endure so much at such a young age and experience the horrors of this world years before you should even know they exist.
So I squeeze her hand again, looking over at her as her deep brown eyes filled with every emotion look back into mine. "Thank you for telling me," Is what I say, because I am thankful that she told me. I'm thankful that she trusted me enough and felt comfortable enough to tell me something so dark, so horrifying without fear of judgement.
She smiles softly. "Thank you for listening," she says.
"Always," I say. "You're brave for telling me, I know it was hard for you and I'm so grateful you trusted me enough to tell me," I tell her firmly.
She blushes lightly and I conceal a smirk. This is way beyond attraction anymore and we both know it, but neither of us are acting on it. It's all just building up, all bubbling up in this massive box that's starting to whine at the edges.
It's all going to explode soon and I'm not going to do anything to stop it.
"Tell me something about you," Daphne turns in her seat to fully face me, her long soft legs brought up to her chest, and I have to let keep the sinful thoughts concealed as they desperately want to break through the door.
I lean back into the chair. "Hm, in college I played college football and was in the line up to play professionally," I tell her, remembering the wild times I had in college. Yeah, those were fucking crazy.
"Really?!" she gasps in surprise. "What happened?"
I shrug. "It wasn't something I wanted to do as a career. I wanted a simple life and professional football wouldn't of let me have that," I say.
College football was fun, in college. But outside of that I had no interest in pursuing the sport. I love watching it, especially on thanksgiving, but playing the professional sport takes a lot out of your life, and the fun I received from it in college would've withered away fast if I began it professionally.
"Wow, what position?" she asks.
I chuckle. "Quarterback," I know, such a cliche position.
She rolls her eyes. "Of course," she scoffs. "I'm not really super into football anyways," she mentions and my head whips to her.
"What?" I spit.
She shrugs. "I'm a baseball fan, Yankee's to be specific," she says and I nod remembering the Yankee's t-shirt she was wearing when I first met her. Fuck, she looked so hot in those short denim shorts and simple Yankee's tee.
"Ah, thats why you were wearing the Yankee's t-shirt," I mutter, and she frowns.
"You remember what I was wearing when we first met?" She asks with a smile slipping through.
I smirk. "Yeah, how could I not?" I question rhetorically, and she blushes ferociously.
"You have a brother," Daphne says, and I know she's changing the topic. "Do you see him much? Are the girls close with him?" she asks.
"The girls love him, he's that 'fun uncle' type, always takes them out somewhere wild for them to get their energy out. But since he lives in Boston for work, we don't see him much," I say with a sad smile.
My brother and I are extremely close, but the distance between us makes it hard for us to see each other as much as we wish we could. But when we're together it's like no time has passed since the last time and it's always a blast with Ben, or 'Uncle Benny'.
"It's the same with my brother and I, we're extremely close, although sometimes he can be extremely annoying and I want to throw him into a wood chipper," Daphne says, and I laugh.
"I get that, younger brothers are irritating," I say and she nods enthusiastically.
"Right? One time my brother stuffed my locker with a bunch of tree branches because he felt like it. Not even revenge for anything," she scoffs and I chuckle.
"One time my brother forgot to put the lid on the blender and the contents of his beetroot smoothie went all over the white walls of our kitchen. He blamed it on me and I got the heat," I shake my head with a light chuckle, vividly remembering the memory of what looked like murder scene in our kitchen.
She laughs and I smile as her eyes sparkle in the moonlight. Bright and smiling, shining like a diamond and filled with immense joy. It's notable, to have experienced so much cruelty in such a short time span of your life and still have so much love and happiness inside of you.
Whereas I come off as a complete grump and besides my daughters, my life has been boring and bland like pea soup.
Until she came into it of course. Incredibly cheesy, but when you meet the right person you want to do all the cheesy crap - dance in the living room to love songs, or show incessant PDA. You just don't give a fuck because you love your person way to much to care about what others think of you.
"Gosh, it's late," Daphne says, looking at the time on her phone. I check my watch and read the time: 12:56pm. Shit, it is getting late.
Daphne gets up and I follow her into the kitchen. She pours herself a cold glass of water and bids me a goodnight before heading out of the kitchen and upstairs.
I stand in the dimly lit kitchen, rinsing out my whiskey glass and drying it, before putting it back in the upper cabinet.
You know, when I first met Daphne I was instantly attracted to her. But I told myself 'she's the nanny, leave her be' - that instantly went down the drain as I've gotten to know her. And I don't give two flying fucks, she makes me happy. I love being around her, the girls love her and she makes me hard.
Really fucking hard, and it's a daily difficulty seeing her, especially when she dresses in her linen shorts or simple tank tops that do nothing to hide her smooth legs or soft skin I want to drift my lips down.
God, and now I'm getting hard again thinking about her. Great.
***