"Hey Lilli!" I turned around, trying to hold composure as Alby came running up to me. Surprisingly, he didn't seem mad.
"Listen, I know I may have seemed upset back there, but you handled that really well. A bit precocious of you, but I have to admit, I was impressed. Good job. I guess you know how to handle it better than we do." He smiled lightly, and I froze. Did he know?
"W-Why do you say that?" I questioned nervously. Alby smiled, as though it were obvious.
"Well, I mean, because you're a girl. She's a girl, you would know better than us how to make her feel comfortable. Thanks for that." Alby patted me on the back as I relaxed, smiling and nodding in relief as he walked off. Thank the Chancellors. Something we always used to say back in Maze B. Obviously a bi-product of our programming, but we didn't care much. We still used it, it was all we knew. What were we suppose to say? Thank God? Maybe it was just as much the programming as anything else, but none of believed in God, how could we? When something so horrid was happening, and not just to us. To the entire world. It wasn't something we had time to believe in. But then again, I highly doubted that was anything other than the continuous brainwashing talking. I sighed, making my way over towards the kitchens with the others to get breakfast. I doubted Shai would be hungry, but non the less Newt brought her over to get some food. She immediately sat down right beside me.
"Hi, Lilli, right?" She said naturally, she always was good at keeping a lie. Not that either one of us had a choice. They knew as well as we did what our soft spots were, and if anything were to slip from our mouths that wasn't suppose to, they could take all of it away from us. Every little piece. And I think I can almost remember one of the things- or should I say one of the people- that was always used as bait to get me to do something, or say something, that I didn't want to do or say. It was a boy, and I feel like maybe I could remember him, but I'm sure they took that away too before they sent me here. Back in Maze B, we were all high and mighty because we had our "memories". That we had "freedom of thought". Bullshit. We didn't have free thought, we had selected thoughts. Just because we had a few select memories about the past, didn't mean we had a free life. It didn't mean we were better than Maze A, just because we remembered bits and pieces that we fit together to create a life. It wasn't a life, it was pieces of a life. It wasn't even real. We all lived each day, completely identical, with no way out, and no desire, because we were held hostage by a hoard of bloody thirsty psychopaths. And for what? So we could develop a cure for them? They told us once it had been approved, they would send it back up to the Maze for us, so we could give it to the Cranks, and we would then be allowed to leave the Maze, make our escape. It was our hope. What we worked towards. But now, the only two girls who knew about the already developed cure, were taken out of the Maze, and put in a completely different Maze. They took everyone who knew something, and wiped them out of the picture. Those monsters...
"You ok, Lilli?" Shai looked worried for real now. I gave her a small smile, nodding.
"Yeah, yeah. Just thinking is all. How do you like the Glade so far, Shai?" I asked genuinely. She smiled.
"Umm, it's...different." I could hear the seriousness behind her lie. I nodded.
"Yeah, it definitely is. But don't worry, everyone's really friendly here, and I'm sure we can be great friends." I smiled, and she returned the favor. Gally sat down across from me, kneeing my lightly in the shin as he did so. I chuckled.
"Aye, watch it, shuckface, would ya'!" I said, but he just scoffed.
"Please, Lil', you're just as much of a Greenie as Greenie there," He gestured towards Shai, "You have no right to use the word 'shuck-face'." I just rolled my eyes. I'm the one who invented the word Shuck-face. In fact, the memory is blurred, but I think the first time I used it was in reference to him. Of course, the meaning was a bit different when it was first developed. It sort of took on a more derogatory meaning as they grew accustom to the word, much to my dismay.
"It's Lilli, not Lil'." I said flatly. Shai always called me Lil', and I could see her smirk a bit out of the corner of my eye.
"So, Shai. I like your hair." Chuck piped up as he took a seat next to me, leaning forward to see her. Shai smiled, flashing her perfectly straight teeth. An image flashed back to her and I in the labs, before the Maze. Braces.
"Thanks! What's your name?" Her voice was a bit too eager, and I gave her a quick look, letting her know to tune it down. She saw, and immediately toned it down.
"I'm Chuck. You know, I've always wanted a girl best friend, and now I can have two!" He said cheerfully. I smiled, giving him a quick hug.
"Aww, you're my best friend too, Chuck!" He smiled, returning the hug.
"Thanks, Lilli. Hey Shai, did you want to know what you look like?" Chuck asked honestly. Shai raised an eyebrow, as though in confusion. Back in Maze B, we had mirrors.
"Umm, you know, because we don't have anything you can see yourself in." Chuck tried to clarify. I nudged her slightly, and she gasped a little, nodding quickly. Obviously shocked they didn't have mirrors, I had been too. I remembered over hearing it in a conversation between two Gladers.
"Oh! Umm, uhh...ok!" She smiled, brushing her hair out of her face as she sat up a little straighter. Gally just chuckled, shaking his head. I rolled my eyes.
'What, Gally?" He smirked, eyeing me questioningly.
"You girls and your vanity. What's it matter what you shanks look like? You don't see me asking everyone else what I look like!" He poked jokingly. I smirked.
"That's because none of your friends want to hurt your feelings by being honest and telling you how shucking ugly you are!" I poked back. Gally faked a gasp, clutching his heart in mock hurt as I chuckled. Shai smiled.
"So, are you two, like, together?" She asked bluntly. I nearly choked on my eggs and bacon. Gally's face turned a whole other shade of red, one that I didn't think humanly possible. I shook my head vigorously, coughing as I tried to get the egg unlodged from my throat.
"Ummm..no..." I sputtered, in between drinks of water as I attempted to clear my throat. Gally was beat red now, just staring off into space, down at his plate. A few people around us chuckled, murmuring something about how we "must have it bad for each other", but I didn't pay them any attention.
"No, we're just, umm, what are we then, Princess?" I said mockingly, as Gally smirked, looking up at me from where his head was resting low to the table. If I didn't know better I would've thought he was trying to be seductive.
"We're friends, Lil'. Just friends." I smiled, nodding promptly as I gestured towards him.
"Friends. That's it." I then resumed eating my meal, despite the obvious gossiping going on around me. I watched Gally out of the corners of my eyes. He was still blushing, keeping his head low to the table as he continued to stuff his face with food. For some reason, this made me smile, making it near impossible for me to eat the rest of my eggs.
"You know, I can't remember anything except for my name, and one other thing." Suddenly, the whole table was looking towards the person who had spoken. Shai.
"I can remember Lilli. We used to be friends, didn't we? I don't know how I remember you, or how we knew each other, but we used to the best of friends, didn't we Lilli?" I knew what she was doing. Shai was smart, she wouldn't blow our cover just like that. She was simply adding to our story, without making us a threat, she was establishing a past with us, so our friendship would seem more natural. I smiled, nodding as I looked down at my plate.
"Yeah, yeah I remembered you too, Shai. The best of friends..." I trailed off, as everyone continued to stare at us, as though waiting for us to explode or something.
"You know, I almost think I can remember them," She said the word with false disdain, "When they took you away. I almost think I see you thrashing, trying to escape. Trying to fight them. They carried me away, locked me somewhere. That was the last time I saw you, until now. But I'm not sure if any of that really happened, or if it was just a silly dream..." She trailed off at the end. She had left the entire table in awe. There she went again, creating a wall of lies between us, and the rest of the world. Not that I blamed her, it was the perfect lie, but it was a lie none the less. I didn't want to lie to them anymore, despite the fact that I knew I had no choice.
"Sometimes I think I see that too. I can't remember any details, but I think I see the same scenario. You, me, the fighting." I nodded promptly, shoving another bite of now cold eggs into my mouth to shut myself up before I made the lie even more delicate. Shai smiled a bit, giving me a quick hug, before releasing me.
"Hey...thanks." She said it so simply, but I knew it meant a lot more. We had grown up together, played together, snuck out after hours together, ease-dropped on conversations together, fought Cranks together. She wasn't just thanking me for today. She was thanking me for our lives together. I smiled.
"Of course. Any time." I smiled simply. Gally was looking straight at me now, as was everybody else. Suddenly, he stood up, his face was blank, but I knew he wanted to talk. Now.
"Lilli can we-"
"Yeah." I said in a monotone, before he could even finish his sentence. He seemed a bit taken aback, but he obliged, getting up from the table as he lead me away from the kitchen, and off towards the open fields. When we finally stopped, he turned around to face me, and despite my initial assumption that he would be upset or enraged (as per usual), he wasn't. In fact, he looked nervous. Fidgety. Concerned.
"Lilli...There's something that I need to tell you. You're conversation with Shai made me think about it and, if you guys can be that honest in front of everybody, then I need to be honest with you." Those words stung more than he could know. How could possibly be honest? Shai and I? We were a lot of things, but honest wasn't one of them.
"I-I've seen you before, Lilli." I was taken aback. Did he remember, just like I did?
"I don't know how, or why...but I've definitely seen you. I-I dreamt about you last night. But it...it wasn't a dream. It was almost like it was a...a memory. I think I remember us talking like, like we were friends...or something.."He trailed off, obviously confused and scared with the new found information. I sighed, nodding as I moved closer to him. I couldn't hurt him, I wouldn't let him live in this haze of confusion.
"Gally, I remember you too. I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't know if you would remember me, and I thought it might sound strange or...I don't know. I just didn't want to mention it I guess." I muttered. A smiled washed over his face, as he blushed, scratching the back of his neck. He was adorable, and at the same time, so worn and scarred.
"Oh thank God! I thought I was going crazy!" He said smiling, hugging me out of impulse. I hugged him back, before he stopped, raising an eyebrow at what he had done. I smiled awkwardly, and he scratched the back of his neck
"Umm, what exactly...do you remember?" I bit my lip.
"I remember us, in a place. We were talking, laughing. I think, I don't know. Maybe we were friends. I mean, like, I don't know. I can't really describe it. And then I can...I can almost remember you...leaving. Like you were going somewhere. But you never came back. I don't know, maybe it was because you were...being sent into the Maze." I said quietly. Gally's eyes were wide, and he was biting his lip.
"I think I remember you a bit too, I don't know. These same words keep echoing over and over again in my head..." WICKED is Good.
"What?" I asked, even though it seemed perfectly obvious, to me anyway, what he was about to see.
"See you on the other side, Greenie."