~ Dream/ Flashback ~
I was 15 years old at the time, and I was currently manning the control boards in the Maze A room, watching the few boys that had originally been sent up into the Maze. It was a new project we'd just started, I helped come up with the idea to have two, as a matter of fact. One for boys, one for girls. It made sense really, two different kinds of people, two different kinds of tests. Naturally, the tests were very different, in fact, it was vital to the survival of the female race that they have information about the past, in order to survive. With the boys it was different, they functioned better under the stress of ignorance. They needed to work towards the information, whereas girls were better off with the initial information in hand, so as to better develop effective antidotes to viruses that plagued the people who threatened their livelihood. It was simple really, develop a cure, or eventually we'll send in so many plagued people that they won't be able to defend themselves, and they'll be killed. It sounded brutal, yes, but it was necessary. That was always what Mum said.
I was monitoring a few of the initial "Gladers" as they called themselves, from Maze A. Mostly the usual, panic, terror, curiosity. Today, however, we were sending up another. And he was different. Why, well, because he was like me. He was plucked up as a baby, an orphan as a result of the Flare, but equally immune. Bright, intellectually speaking, and strong. He had worked side-by-side with the developers of the Maze, and in the planning out and coordination of how the whole system was going to work. I had only spoken to him once, when I was 12 and we were asked to sit in a room together and plan out different possibilities for the proper system of efficiently getting people into the Maze without rebellion. Obviously, we came to an agreement on a memory wiping serum, which was then developed by the Maze B, obviously since they had all of their memories in tact and were bright enough to develop the serum. After it had been developed, we were then able to begin Maze A, which was, of course, the boys' Maze. I still remember what he had said to me when we were brainstorming, it was the first time I realized that I was in love with him.
"Alright Greenie, what do you think we should start with then?"
"Did you just call me Greenie?"
"I did."
"Why? What's a Greenie?"
"Nothing, really. I just made it up. It seemed to match your eyes, and I don't know your name. So I figured Greenie would be adequate until I had the honor of making your acquaintance." He said cheekily. I had blushed.
"Well, my name's Lillian." He had smiled, nodding as he thought over the name.
"Lillian. I like it, mind if I shorten it? Lilli, I think it fits you better." I nodded.
"I love it."
"Well then, so do I."
He had gone on to pass along the nickname to the elder Creators, planting it in their minds, along with the memory erasing serum we had developed together, as a small token of his good-naturedness towards me. I would sometimes even daydream of him, and how maybe, just maybe, it meant more than just a friendly gesture. Maybe he was using it as a trigger. Something to spark our memories, should we ever be placed in the God forsaken places. And then, there I was, a 15 year old girl, watching as they injected the serum into his neck, watching as he slowly by slowly began to loose his memories. I had to watch it all, and I had no idea why. He wasn't wreathing in pain or protest like the others had, he was completely calm and collected, like he knew it was coming. Well, of course he knew it was coming, he had volunteered hadn't he? It was quite obvious the boys needed order, and he was going to be their order. Their law, their protection. But as selfish of shallow as it may have seemed, I didn't want him to go up there, even it meant saving their lives. I wanted him to stay, to be with me. I wanted to have one last conversation with him, to at least tell him goodbye. Almost as though he had read my mind, he turned towards me. My Gally.
"See you on the other side, Greenie." He smirked, winking slightly before being escorted towards the box. I raised my eyebrows in confusion. That didn't make any sense. I wasn't going to see him, maybe ever again! And even if I was sent up into the Maze, it would be Maze B, right? He turned to face me one last time, as the box began to ascend. He waved one last time, and I waved back, smiling slightly from behind the glass that separated us...that always seemed to separate us. After it was clear he was gone, I whispered the words that I had held inside for three years, ever since I first talked with him over the name "Greenie".
"I love you, Gally."
~Dream/ Flashback Ends ~
I woke with a start, gasping for air as my eyes darted through the silent, darkened night. I remembered. I remembered, how could I have ever forgotten? But of course, WICKED made me forget, they didn't take away all of my memories, just a few choice ones that they didn't approve of. So why give them back now? I knew WICKED was behind this, but why? Especially Ava, I knew she wouldn't do something like this without reason. The only sounds that filled the cool evening breeze was the snoring coming from a few choice hammocks, including Minho and Frypan. It would have almost been reassuring or comforting, if I hadn't just had the most terrifying dream of my life. The only thing was, it wasn't really a dream. It was a memory. A memory that seemed one impossible to forget. Then again, Gally forgot as well, although for all I knew, it wasn't much of a memory to forget, maybe just a passing comment for him, where it meant so much more for me. I knew that what I felt with him was different, I just didn't realize it was this kind of different. But to bee honest, it made perfect sense. But I couldn't admit that to him, none of it. Because ass far as he was concerned, we had only known each other 48 hours, and that wasn't a long enough period of time to say something that extreme. Besides, I didn't even know if I felt that strongly about him anymore, after all- it had been three years. Two of which I spent under strict rules and regulations, which apparently I had had the wise idea of designing, while developing a serum to combat the Flare. What a shucking messed up life I lead. Although, to be fair, Gally wasn't the angel I thought he was either. Maybe that was the reason for me retrieving that memory at this particular time, as a sort of reassurance that I wasn't the only one betraying my so called "friends". I sighed, placing my head in my hands as I heaved a sigh, half out of anguish, half out of drowsiness. I was just thankful that I wasn't going to be working with the Builders any time soon, I couldn't handle that amount of Gally, all throughout my dream, and then all over again in the real world. It was too much of Gally for one day, especially when I knew secrets about him that he didn't even know about himself. Secrets that would kill him if he found out. I suddenly found myself not only harboring information about our world, about the past, and about myself, but about fellow Gladers. Gladers that I cared about, more than I had ever realized. I sighed, rubbing my head as I got p. I couldn't stand it any more. I couldn't go back to sleep, for fear of having another "dream", and I couldn't start the only thing that would take my mind off the horrid thoughts of my obvious betrayal- tireless working. Deciding to find a happy medium, I rose from my hammock, tip-toeing quietly away from the homestead as I began walking swiftly towards the entrance of the Maze. Granted, it hadn't opened yet, according to my gut instinct it probably still had another hour or two. I sighed, sitting down promptly in front of entrance, crossing my legs underneath me as I stared up at the seemingly endless abyss of cement and ivy.
"What the hell have I done?" I whispered. The words seem to bounce back from off the wall, as though refusing my lenient statement. I sighed, laying my head in my hands.
"I didn't want any of this, you know. I don't want to hurt them, lie to them. It isn't right! I don't want to do it. Can't I just leave? Can't you just take me away, finish my test as a Variable? Why do I have to be the only one, because the truth is I'm suffering a hell of a lot more than they are!" I whisper screamed, shaking my head violently as tears rolled down my soft, cool cheeks. The Maze stayed silent, and I sighed. I wiped the tears away, sighing as I tried to collect myself. It wouldn't be long before the light was out again, and the Maze doors would open. Something told me it wouldn't look particularly sane for me to be sitting in front of them, whispering and crying when they did. Climbing to my feet, I sighed, padding back over towards the Homestead, when I heard an all too familiar sound. I screeching, infatuating noise that I had learned for the very first time, two years ago. It was the box. And it was coming up. Swallowing hard, I had no other choice but to run towards it, like it was physically dragging me closer, enticing me. I knew the boys would wake up in a matter of moments now, the noise was too loud to miss, but I doubt they would get all the way down here, before the box arrived. I twisted my hands through and through, waiting patiently. At least the first face they saw would be a harmless one, not that I didn't like Gally's face, because obviously I certainly did, but it wasn't the most welcoming of things to see when you first get to the Glade, with what I would assume would be no memories what-so-ever. Just then, the box stopped, and the doors opened. I jumped down into the box, as I so often did back in Maze B, only to find the box completely empty. That is, completely empty, except for a single person, sitting cool and collected in the corner of the box, eyes wide as she stared at me. Another girl? Suddenly, the light started to appear, and her face was illuminated. I heard shouts in the distance, obviously people running towards the box, but I paid them no attention. That face, I knew that face. That was the face of my best friend.
"Lilli? Oh my God she wasn't kidding! She wasn't lying to me! You're here! Oh thank Chancellor's you're alive!" She ran towards me, embracing me in a bear hug as I smiled. It was so good to see Herr face again.
"I've missed you so much, Lilli. They all thought you died, but not me. I knew you'd be alive, because you're a fighter. You wouldn't give up that easy." I smiled, hugging her back.
"I missed you too, Shai." The voices grew louder, and I knew we only had another moment before they would reach the box. I let go of the small girl, smiling as I saw her jet black hair with red streaks, it reminded me of Maze B, I'd missed them all more than I had realized.
"Listen to me, Shai. This Maze, it's not like our Maze, ok? It's different. It's all boys, and they don't have any off their memories. Nothing except their name, ok? You can't tell them anything. They'd probably kill you, ok? Listen to me, when they see you, act shocked, scared, anything please. Their coming, you've got to act disoriented. Remember, the only thing you know is your name." I nodded promptly. Shai looked at me in slight confusion, but agreed, crouching down in the box, and I silently thanked my best friend for not asking the plethora of questions that were usually always flowing freely from her mouth. Just as the boys arrived around the box, murmuring in aw, I extended a hand, as though I'd never seen the girl before in my life.
"Welcome to the Glade. Name's Lilli. And you are?" I asked insensitively. Shai sputtered a bit, all acting of course.
"Sh-Shai. My name's Shai." She said weakly. I smiled a bit, nodding promptly as I helped her out of the box.
"Well, Shai. Welcome to the Glade." I said, gesturing out towards the fields and shacks before us. The "sun" was just now rising, so there was plenty of light to see everything. This time, when her mouth fell open, it wasn't acting. It was entirely her honest reaction. Boys murmured, stepping back a bit as she took it all in.
"What the hell is this place?" She murmured. I smiled, giving her reassuring pat on the back.
"Don't worry, we've all been in your place, Shai. We're not here to hurt you, we got here the same way you did. In a bit, I'll have someone give you the tour, ok? Get you oriented, all that. I'm sure you must be very afraid right now." I consoled. Shai nodded, turning back to me. I could see the terror in her eyes was entirely too real. She didn't run, however, she just stayed perfectly still.
"Uh...ok. Thanks, Lilli." I smiled, nodding promptly as I waved Newt over, who was still completely shocked with how I'd handled the situation. I smiled a bit.
"Shai, this is Newt. He's second in command here, and he can show you around, answer a few questions for you, ok? I promise he won't bite." I smiled lightly, and Shai returned the smile.
"Uhh, uh, ok. Umm, are you the leader here, then?" She asked, and I could see the truth behind the obvious ruse in her eyes. She was genuinely curious. I smiled, shaking my head.
"No, I'm actually new here, just like you. That boy over there? He's our leader." I pointed to Alby, who had his arms crossed, obviously not entirely happy with me introducing the new Greenie, instead of him or Newt. I still couldn't get over the fact that I had said "our leader". I knew I was saying it out of instinct, because I was so used to introducing new girls back in maze B, but this was different. I didn't belong here, and I knew that Shai could see it in my eyes when I said it. She just nodded, waving half-hardheartedly.
"Is it just me, or do girls take this whole thing way better than we all did?" A familiar voice chuckled lightly from behind me. I smiled, turning around to face Gally.
"Shut up, Shuckface. Just because we're cooler than you shanks, doesn't mean you have to pin it on your gender. Just admit it, you're a wussy." I smirked, and I could've sworn Shai snickered a bit, but if she had she didn't show it. Gally rolled his eyes playfully.
"Mhmm. Whatever, Lilli. Just be thankful you're not gonna be called Greenie anymore." The memory that had surfaced last night was reawakened in my mind, as I suddenly found a new fondness in the word. Smirking I just shrugged, giving a small smile over towards Shai as newt guided he away from the crowd to start the tour.
"Yeah, well you couldn't call me that anyways. After all, you did lose to me in that fight, right?" I smirked, spinning around on my heels as Gally was left speechless, blushing like crazy as a few guys poked fun at him. As soon as I had let down my cover of cocky over-confident toughness, I was a shaking, shivering mess. Why the hell was Shai here? My best friend, the person I shared a lab with, the person who designed possible cure after cure after cure with me, only to see all of them fail. The person who eventually developed the perfect cure with me, who placed the first official vile of cure into the box, during the middle of the night, fighting off the cranks. The person who kept it a secret with me, for almost 6 months, not telling a single soul about the already developed cure. The only other person I knew, who was even remotely close to being as truly hellish and cruel as I was. Well, her, and one other person. Ava.
Author's Note:
Hey Guys! New Character WOOP WOOP! Ok, so I just wanted to clarify that I have read the TMR series, and I know that the real Maze B isn't a different series of tests and that they don't have their memories or test Cranks or any of that stuff. I change parts of the books for my story. Some parts will stay true to the books, and some parts will not. Anyway, yeah, just clarifying! Love you all!
-Anna