Ester, My heart has found a home, if you ever read this, please realize how much I love you. I beg you, don't leave me even after knowing everything.
***
"Easy Desmond.. Who knows someone will talk to you in the same tone as well." He said, scornfully.
"Speak up, damn it!" I said exasperated, rubbing my temples.
"Go home Desmond, you might see a surprise." He said. I can even feel the evilness from his voice. A shiver evoked from me and went down my spine.
"What have you done this time?" I asked, trying not to show that my heart skipped a beat in fright.
"There's a surprise waiting for you.. Ester might not like it, to know what her husband is doing behind her back." He said and cut the call.
I grit my teeth and went straight home in worry, cursing loudly at this tribulation. I tremble just at the thought of what he has done this time. I am going to tell Ester everything or else he would give her some fake information about me.
If I don't tell her, she would be devastated to know it from somewhere else.
My mind clouded with anxiety and dread, I gulped hard and rushed inside. My eyes searched for Ester. My breath turned into a pant.
"Lilly!" I called our head maid.
"Yes, Sir?"
"Where is Ester?"
I asked, Looking here and there.
"She is on the rooftop." I quickly ran to the rooftop and saw Ester looking down. She was leaning on the wall, hands behind her back, holding an envelope in her hand.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt petrified of thinking what might be in here. She was looking down, trying not to cry. Her eyes were slightly devoid but she seemed sad.
"Ester.." I called her in a whisper. She slowly lifted her gaze and looked at me.
"Are you okay?" I asked, breathless. She forced a smile and nodded.
"Please don't lie, Ester." I said, taking a step closer. Her smile faded as she looked down and began to say in a low tone.
"I don't want to cry anymore Desmond.. If I don't say anything that doesn't mean I don't feel that it doesn't affect me. But Desmond, it's rather disturbing that you.."
My breath caught up in my throat, she couldn't meet my gaze, she was stressed, my heart felt like it would leap out my chest in horror about what she has come to know. She nibbled on her bottom lip and handed me the envelope.
"You left me speechless Desmond." She told me, on the verge of crying. I hesitantly took the envelope and looked what's inside it. My eyes widened when I saw those leaked pictures of Ester back in highschool. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My heart clenched when I saw it. My lips began to quiver, sweat formed over my forehead, I looked at Ester who was looking at me, waiting to give me some explanation.
"Why do you want to bring up something that happened years ago? I know I am not strong enough to overcome my past. I am still hung up on that and let myself be turned into an introvert. I know I am weak but please don't make my scars sting using this." She said in a croaked voice and turned her head away, she hugged her sides, swallowing hard not to cry,
"I know I am pathetic but don't use it against me Desmond. My scar is my biggest insecurity because of you, don't make fun of it. It hurts. Do you like looking at it that much?"
Her voice was turned into a whisper. A tear rolled on her cheeks. I took a step towards her but she took a step back.
"Ester, listen to me." She sniffed and didn't turn.
"Why? Is it that hideous that you still have those pictures.. Do you like digging old scars back?"
She continued.
"Ester, It's not what you think.." I tried to explain.
"Then what is it? You have those pictures that haunt me for years in your studies!" She finally burst into tears.
"Ester!" I called her loudly, to make her listen that it's not my fault.
"Don't yell! I have borne your terrors once Desmond, I won't do it again. Don't raise your voice against me." She said, wiping her tears and giving me a seething look and walking away.
I exhaled, feeling guilty. My heart felt constricted, I felt bad.
I walked after Ester, trying to tell her that it's not me.
"Ester, Listen Please. I promise it's not me." I held her wrist. She winched and stopped in her tracks when I held her wrist.
"Ester, It's not me. I don't know who sent this. I am so sorry I don't want to make you cry. Please forgive me, I will find who did this. I won't let your old scars be dug out, I promise. But I swear I am not the one who had this with me."
"Heck, I haven't even seen your picture back then; then why would I see it now? Please don't cry. I don't want you to cry, it hurts to see your tears. Please... And I am sorry for speaking loudly, I won't do it again." I said, desperately, hurriedly. She pressed her teeth against themselves and lowered her head. She sniffed and wiped her tears again with her free hand.
"Please let go of my hand Desmond, it hurts." She said and I quickly let go of her hand.
My gaze traveled down to her hand, her long sleeves moved upwards, I saw some kind of mark on her hand. I held her hand and asked, softly, "Please forgive me."
"It's okay.. I just couldn't think straight. I just lost my senses when I saw them." She said, looking away, not meeting my gaze. I moved her hand upwards and moved her sleeves.
My eyes widened when I saw she had cuts on her wrist. My heart stopped, as I was deluged in terror of she has done and since when. I lost my ability to think.
My heart felt like it's in a desolate place filled with misery. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I looked at Ester who was looking down; ashamed, not being able to meet my gaze.
"What did you do, Ester?" I asked in a whisper.
"Is that why you didn't let me touch you and wear long sleeves?" I asked, feeling heartbroken. She bit her lips and nodded.
"Why?" I asked as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"You weren't the only one who suffered back then.. I..I.." She was at the loss of words. My heart was torn to pieces, my mind couldn't comprehend the things around me.
I let out a sob and pulled her in a hug. She gripped my shirt and buried her face in my chest. I kissed her head and whispered
"I am sorry.. I am so sorry.. Please don't be hurt anymore.. I want to fix everything... please don't break like that.. Please.. " I said in a hurt voice.
"I.. I.." She tried to say. I pulled her closer and said reassuringly, "Shh.. It's okay Ester, don't force things upon yourself.." She sniffed and nodded. We remained like that and after a while, I slowly pulled away. She was looking down with a sad smile.
"I am glad to have you with me." She said, still not leaving my shirt.
"I am the one who should be thanking you." I replied, cupping her cheeks and caressing them gently. I kissed her forehead and gave her a side hug.
After calming Ester, I decided to go back to my work, since it's still afternoon.
After a tiresome day, I went back home. We were having dinner in silence but then I said, "Burn those pictures."
"Already did." She replied. I smiled and continued to eat.
"Ester..' I called her.
"I was thinking that it would be good if we went out..." I trailed off. She looked at me , waiting for me to continue.
"I want.. Do you want to go for our honeymoon?" I asked nervously. a blush crept upon her cheeks, she tugged her hairs behind her ears and laughed nervously, "Yeah.. Why not?"
"Where do you want to go?" I asked with my heart beating fast.
"Uh.. anywhere.. but not to a crowded place.."
"Okay.. I will see."
"We can go back to that vacation house of yours too.."
"No! I don't want to go there.."
"It's okay, I don't mind, I kinda liked that place." She said, trying to lighten up the mood.
"But Ester."
"Desmond. I am just suggesting ,I just loved that place, we can go there. That place would be filled with happy memories.... Besides,That place is unforgettable for me ."
Me too. She mumbled. My heart picked its pace when I heard it, feeling strange yet satisfactory sensations in me.
"As you wish." I said, smiling.
My heart skipped a beat when I remembered our honeymoon,