chapter i. | madmax
"just a little bit"
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IF YOU WERE TO TELL CASSIE HENDERSON A YEAR AGO that she would be watching her younger brother run around the house looking for arcade money, then she would probably think that her life hadn't changed a bit. Dustin had been running around the house, searching for quarters everywhere. He had finally made it to Cassie's bedroom.
"Dustin, what the fuck!" she exclaimed as he threw the pillows off her bed.
"It's an emergency!" he yelled back at her, stripping the quilt off. He scrounged around in her drawers, knocking over pictures of her and Jonathan.
"What kind of emergency?" she asked him, already knowing what he was looking for.
"An emergency emergency!" he emphasized.
"Oh, so it's not just you looking for quarters for the arcade?" she taunted, making him stiffen and stop. "I told you not to spend them all last week!"
"I tried, Cassie!" he cried, still flipping through her drawers. "I really did."
"I don't believe you for a second," she told him, squinting her eyes at him.
"You have to believe me, Cassie!" he responded, not looking over at her as he continued his search. She sighed and grabbed a few quarters that were lying on her desk. "I tried but Princess Daphne still needed saving and I still haven't beaten that level yet and shit I need to beat Lucas!"
"Next time," she grabbed his hand and dropped the quarters in it, "try a little harder to save up." Dustin's eyes widened in glee. He smiled up at Cassie before hugging her middle.
"Thank you, my lord! Oh, thank you! You are the best sister ever!" he told her before running out of her room. She chuckled and rolled her eyes.
Cassie sighed as she looked at the state of her room. She began cleaning it up, smiling whenever she picked up a picture of her and Jonathan. When she finished, she sat back at her desk and picked up her pencil. She turned back to her work, where she was sketching her nightmares.
Her art over the past year had followed a specific theme. Nightmares had become more prevalent for her (especially when she wasn't with Jonathan) and the only way she had coped was by drawing it all. Currently, she was working on the horrifying image of the Upside Down and the Demogorgon feeding on the deer.
The phone in her room rang loudly, making Cassie jump. She walked over to the yellow phone that sat on her bedside table and picked it up.
"Hello?" she called.
"Hey, Cass!" came Jonathan's voice from the other side.
"Hey, Jay," she sighed with a smile, sitting down on her bed. "What's up?"
"Nothing much," he responded. Cassie already knew he was shrugging on the other side. "Can I come over tonight?" Cassie smiled.
"You already know you can, you don't need to ask," she chuckled.
"Yeah, but it's still nice to ask, you know?" he told her. She laughed.
"You're an absolute sweetheart, Jonathan Byers," she told him. "Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Nah, it's okay, I can drive," he said. She pouted through the phone.
"But it'll just be easier for you. I can drive you to school tomorrow morning," she replied. "And Will has his appointment tomorrow so you don't have to drive him home after school."
"Fine," he sighed, but Cassie knew that he was smiling.
"Great!" she exclaimed. "See you in 10." She hung up.
Cassie slipped her shoes on, grabbed the car keys and ran out the front door without saying a word to her mother. She often did now, and Claudia didn't question it. Cassie would either call later that she was at the Byers or Cassie would come back with a bashful Jonathan behind her.
Jonathan and Cassie had been spending almost every night together after last November. The two couldn't sleep without the other anymore. Cassie loved it, but she couldn't deny that the more time she spent around him, the more her feelings built up. Just last month, Jonathan had almost kissed her after she screamed the lyrics to Stevie Wonder's Isn't She Lovely? (they were rudely interrupted by Dustin). When Cassie told Nancy about the sleepovers, Nancy had given her a confused look and Cassie reassured her that it was all platonic. She wasn't sure of it at all.
She parked out the front of the Byers' house and watched as all three residents came out the front door. Cassie waved at Will and Joyce who were getting in her car. The two smiled and waved back. Cassie looked over at the passenger seat as the door opened.
"Hey stranger," she smiled teasingly as Jonathan sat down and closed the door. He smiled over at her.
"Long time no see," he responded with his cheeky smile reserved for her whenever present.
"You're such an idiot," she told him as she began pulling out onto the road.
"Me?" he asked her, his tone in mocking offence. His mouth opened and he put a hand over his heart as if he were severely hurt by her words. "I'm the idiot in this relationship? After you were the one who accidentally stole a loaf of bread?"
"It was an accident!" she pleaded. "It was just in my hand and the girl didn't notice so it wasn't like I did it intentionally!"
Jonathan laughed at her trying to explain herself to him. Cassie smiled at the sound she elicited from him. She wished she could record it and play it on a loop every day.
"Whatever you say, Cass," he chuckled, shaking his head. The two sat comfortably, listening to the new mixtape Jonathan had made the previous week.
Ruffling from Jonathan cut through the previously music-filled car. Cassie looked over at him briefly to see that he was rummaging around in his bag. She turned her eyes back to the road, not particularly wanting to crash her car. A click was heard and a sudden flash of light infiltrated Cassie's eyes.
"Oh my God, stop with that!" she said, putting her hand on Jonathan's camera lens and pushing the camera away from her. "Why do you keep taking those pictures of me?"
"Because I think you're wonderful," Jonathan whispered. "And, I mean, the camera loves you. Every photo is perfection."
"Told you you're an idiot," chuckled Cassie as she pulled into the driveway of her house.
"I know," he smiled, packing his camera away. Cassie stopped the car and the two climbed out. She unlocked the door and let him in. Jonathan continued into the house as Cassie chucked the keys onto the front table and hung her coat on the coat rack. She smiled at Jonathan's timid "Hi, Ms Henderson" she heard from down the hall.
Jonathan made his way to Cassie's room while Cassie kissed her mother's cheek and told her goodnight. Cassie strolled down the hallway toward her room. When she arrived, she leaned against her doorframe when she spotted Jonathan standing at her desk. He picked up some of her sketches.
"These new?" he asked her, flashing a sketch over his shoulder. The sketch was of Steve's silhouette hitting the Demogorgon with the baseball bat. Cassie pushed herself off the doorway while Jonathan turned around to face her. Her hands were stuffed into her jean pockets and she shrugged. "Cass," he whined. "We talked about this. You need to tell me when the-"
"When the nightmares get worse, I know," finished Cassie. "I just didn't want to worry you. I know you've been having new nightmares as well."
"This arrangement goes two ways, Cass," he told her. He put the sketch down and stepped toward her. "I care about you. Lots. And you can't just keep watching out for me. I have to watch out for you too. Okay?"
"Yeah," she said under her breath. "Yeah, I know." Jonathan opened his arms up.
"Come here," he said. She let out a huff before walking straight into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his torso tightly, burying her head in his neck. "I've got you, Cass. I've got you."
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Cassie's alarm blared through the room, making the two teens groan. She snuggled closer to Jonathan's warmth, not wanting to wake up. And especially, not wanting to go to school.
"Cass, wake up," cooed Jonathan, his voice still rough from just waking up.
"No," she mumbled into his neck. He laughed softly.
"Come on, Cass. We've got school." Jonathan got out of bed, making Cassie groan loudly.
"But I don't wanna go," she whined sleepily, making Jonathan smile at her. She covered her eyes with her arm. "I'm so over them."
"It won't be that bad, Cass," Jonathan told her. She heard him doing up his belt. "I promise."
"But they're all assholes," Cassie whined again as Jonathan sat down and pulled her up so that she was sitting up.
"Yeah, but so are we," he smiled, making Cassie roll her eyes.
"Good point," she grunted before getting out of bed.
The two teens rushed around her room as they got ready for school. They stole pieces of fruit and bid Claudia goodbye. Running into Cassie's car, they sighed at the exhausting and cold day ahead.
The anniversary of Will's disappearance was creeping up on them and as each day went on, Cassie dreaded reliving the week from hell. The closer the date got, the more extreme her dreams and flashbacks were. Cassie couldn't even look at coloured lights without feeling like she had to throw up.
During the drive, the pair conversed lightly about Jonathan's upcoming photography class project and Cassie's looming English essay. As Cassie was about to pull into the school parking lot, she was almost hit by a blue Camaro that cut in front of her.
"Fucking bitch!" Cassie yelled, her voice echoing out of her open window as she slammed on the brakes. "You asshole!" She looked over at Jonathan, who was startled at the sudden stop. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Jonathan breathed out.
To make matters worse, the person parked in Cassie's regular car park. She growled before pulling into the space next to Steve's car, where both Steve and Nancy stood. Cassie got out of the car and slammed her door shut behind her, giving Nancy and Steve a wave in recognition. She knew she would be yelling if she opened her mouth, and she wasn't going to yell at them.
Cassie watched a young red-headed girl get out from the passenger side door, skateboard in hand. As Cassie began walking toward the end of her car, she studied the driver who had gotten out of the car from behind her sunglasses. He was tall, with a blonde mullet on top of the double-denim look he was trying to rock. Cassie rolled her eyes. Sure, he was attractive, but just not her type.
He looked around cockily, his cigarette in his fingers. He was new and Cassie could tell he'd never lived in a small gossiping town before just due to his posture (and his California license plates).
When the pair reached the end of Cassie's car, Jonathan extended a hand out to her. Ever since last November, Cassie and Jonathan seemed to always be holding each other or close to one another in some way. It was a comfort to them, knowing that the other had their back no matter what. Cassie grabbed his hand tightly.
The new boy stared at Jonathan and Cassie, looking the girl up and down. His eyes attached to their connected hands before focusing on Cassie's overly-pierced ears. She scoffed at his non-subtlety.
"Take a picture, asshole, it'll last longer!" she yelled, flipping off the staring boy. "And next time, don't cut me off or I'll slit your dick!"
Jonathan softly pulled Cassie away from the boy and led her to the school doors. "And this is why you're still called a bitch around here," Jonathan told her teasingly. Cassie smiled up at him.
"So? What do I care?" Cassie shrugged. Jonathan shook his head at her, his hair following his movements.
"You are insane," he mumbled quietly.
"Just a little bit," she told him, smiling widely. He smiled back at her warmly.
"Maybe, if you didn't wear these all the time," he snatched her sunglasses off her nose, "people wouldn't be scared to talk to you." She scoffed, snatching her glasses back and hooking them on the collar of her shirt.
"Maybe I don't want people talking to me!" she retorted. "And I'll have you know, Jonathan Byers, that I look cool as shit in them!" He chuckled lightly, shaking his head again.
"Not as cool as you look when I can see your eyes," he teased, sucking the breath out of Cassie's lungs. He often did this, flirting with her backhandedly and rendering her speechless. But, she had to admit that she did do it back. It was cute watching him open and close his mouth as red flooded his cheeks.
"You fucking suck!" she called out, pulling away and walking toward her locker.
"So do you!" he called back quietly, turning the corner to get to his locker.
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Cassie parked her car in front of the Byers' house. It was dark out now, just after 6:00, and it was movie night. After November and Cassie's increased sleepovers, Joyce invited the young girl to their family movie nights with her new boyfriend, Bob Newby. Cassie quite enjoyed coming, especially since she always stayed over afterwards.
She walked to the front door, stomping out her cigarette before knocking. Jonathan had been trying to get her to stop but Cassie always had one at least once a day. Jonathan was proud that she was cutting back.
The young girl knocked on the door, being greeted by the cheerful face of Bob Newby. Bob didn't quite understand the nature of Cassie and Jonathan's relationship and he had been very confused the first few times she stayed over - especially when she stayed for three nights. Over time, he had learnt to just accept that Cassie was there almost all the time.
"Oh, hey, Cassie!" he welcomed, stepping aside to let her in.
"Hi, Bob," she greeted back politely, her smile small. She walked to the kitchen where Joyce stood, making popcorn. The woman turned around, a smile finding its way on her face.
"Cassie!" she cooed, walking over to hug the girl.
"Hey, Joyce," Cassie smiled, leaning down to hug the shorter woman. The two pulled away.
"How have you been?" Joyce asked her lovingly. It had been a while since Cassie stayed over at the Byers house.
"Good, yeah," she sighed, stuffing her hands in her pockets. Joyce smiled at her warmly. "Haven't been in too much trouble recently so, yeah, I'd say good."
"Good," she replied. "Go put your stuff in Jonathan's room, we're almost ready."
Cassie walked the familiar path to her best friend's room down the hallway. She opened the door, expecting Jonathan to be sitting on his bed, flipping through photos. Her smile diminished when she found the room empty. She chucked her bag on his bed and slid off her boots before walking out. She heard voices coming from Will's room and walked toward it.
"Zombie Boy? Who's Zombie Boy?" came Jonathan's voice. Cassie stopped before she got to the doorway, not wanting to interrupt any conversation Will and Jonathan were having. The sound of pencil against paper stopped momentarily.
"Me," came Will's small voice. Cassie's eyebrows furrowed angrily.
"Did someone call you that?" Jonathan asked him softly. Will didn't respond. "Hey. You can talk to me. You know that, right?" Cassie's face softened at Jonathan's concern. "Whatever happened. Will, come on, talk to me."
"Stop treating me like that!" Will snapped.
"What?" questioned Jonathan. "Like what?"
"Like everyone else does," Will told him. "Like there's something wrong with me."
"What are you talking about?" Jonathan asked him desperately, his voice becoming slightly sterner. Cassie visualised the argument escalating and she prepared herself if she needed to go in.
"Mum, Dustin, Lucas," listed Will. "Everyone. They all treat me like I'm gonna break! Like I'm a baby. Like I can't handle things on my own! It doesn't help! It just makes me feel like more of a freak."
"You're not a freak," reassured Jonathan. Cassie clenched her jaw.
"Yeah, I am," responded Will. "I am."
A moment of silence passed through the two. Cassie wanted to go in there and tell Will that there was nothing wrong with being a freak and repeat the conversation she'd had with Jonathan too many times to count now. As she made up her mind about storming in, she was stopped by Jonathan's voice.
"You know what?" Jonathan said softly, making Cassie falter. "You're right. You are a freak."
"What?" Will questioned him, confused by his quick change of stance. Cassie's lips twitched upward. She knew where this was going.
"No, I'm serious. You're a freak," Jonathan told him. "But what? Do you wanna be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else? Being a freak is the best!"
Cassie smiled and leaned her back on the wall at the sentence. The exact same thing she had told him at that stupid diner almost a year ago. The exact same thing she had been telling him for almost a year. Finally, all of those late-night talks about trusting yourself and owning who you are were finally paying off.
"I'm a freak!" Jonathan told him.
"Is that why you don't have any friends?" Will asked him. Cassie stifled a laugh.
"I have friends, Will. I've got Cassie," he said gently. "And she's the biggest freak I've ever met."
"Then why are you always hanging out with me?" Will questioned him. Cassie rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. This kid.
"Because you're my best friend, all right?" Jonathan confessed. "And I would rather be best friends with Zombie Boy than with a boring nobody. You know what I mean?" Silence washed over them. Cassie quietly crept into the room, keeping her back to the wall so that she could watch the two. "Okay, look. Who would you rather be friends with? Bowie or Kenny Rogers?"
Cassie smiled widely, knowing he was referencing their first ever 'freak' conversation again.
"Ugh," Will made a face at the mention of Kenny Rogers.
"Exactly," confirmed Jonathan. "It's no contest." Cassie watched adoringly at Jonathan's little head shakes and expressions. He was, undoubtedly, adorable. "The thing is, nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world. You got it?"
"Well," Will interjected. "Some people like Kenny Rogers."
"Kenny Rogers," came Bob's voice. The three looked at the doorway, the boys' eyes lighting up when they realised that Cassie was in the room. She winked at them cheekily before turning back to Bob, who was now in the room. "I love Kenny Rogers." The brothers shared a look, trying to hide their laughs. "What's so funny?" Bob looked at the three films on top of Will's chest of drawers.
"Nothing," Will told the older man.
"Mr Mom," whooped Bob, taking the stack of movies. "Perfect!" Bob left the room excitedly. The three chuckled at his excitement. Cassie turned back to the boys.
"Cassie!" exclaimed Will, getting up from his bed and wrapping his arms around the older girl.
"Hey, munchkin," she greeted, holding him tightly. They pulled away. "How've you been, kiddo?" Jonathan stood up from Will's bed.
"Good," Will shrugged. Cassie smiled at him.
"Good," she replied, ruffling his hair. He laughed and ducked away from her. "Get going, you rascal! I think your mum made popcorn." Will walked out of the room, leaving Jonathan and Cassie alone.
"Hey," Jonathan said abashedly, stuffing his fists in his jeans pockets as he walked toward her.
"Hi," she greeted back, before gently wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. The two held each other for a moment. Jonathan rested his cheek on Cassie's shoulder, closing his eyes. They squeezed each other lightly before parting slowly.
"How much did you hear?" he whispered, looking down at the ground.
"Almost all of it," she nodded, noticing how his hands went back into his pockets. He stared down at his shoes. "I'm proud of you." He looked up at her through his lashes, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes.
"Really?"
"Yeah," she whispered softly. A shy smile grew on his face. "Really proud. You're finally seeing what I've seen all along."
"Being a freak is the best," they said simultaneously, making one another giggle.
"Come on," Cassie jerked her head toward the door as she held her hand out for Jonathan to take. "I think the movie's starting soon." Jonathan took her hand softly as they began walking out to the living room.
"Um, Nancy's invited us to a Halloween party," mumbled Jonathan. Cassie furrowed her eyebrows and looked over at him. "Tina's, I think."
"You wanna go?" she asked him. She would follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked her to. "Tina's kinda known for her huge rager parties." Cassie knew Tina's parties inside out, she used to sneak into them to get alcohol.
"I don't know," Jonathan shrugged. "I mean, I've got to look after Will and parties aren't really my thing. I was just wondering if you wanted to go." She chuckled and squeezed his hand. He sat down on their spacious armchair.
"You know I'm perfectly content with staying home and listening to the Talking Heads all night while you read and I sketch," she said, standing in front of him. He smiled up at her timidly.
"I know," he said, pulling her down to sit with him. She cuddled into his side, wrapping her arm around his back as his arm draped over her shoulders. "I just, I know you want me to get out of my comfort zone and I know how much you love stirring Steve up."
"I'll think about it, okay?" she told him. "But if you don't wanna go, we won't." Jonathan nodded.
The kids sat bored as Mr Mom played. Bob was entirely fascinated by it and kept laughing. Jonathan found it increasingly harder to not fall asleep as Cassie rubbed her left hand up and down his stomach soothingly as well as her warm presence beside him, her head resting on his chest. Cassie kept looking up at Jonathan from where she was nestled against him, wanting desperately to place delicate kisses on his jaw.
The phone rang loudly through the house, alerting Jonathan and Joyce immediately. The two jumped slightly, their heads turning toward the phone, almost reliving that week from hell with all the phone calls.
"Hey," called Cassie as Bob calmed Joyce down. Jonathan looked down at the girl who was still rubbing his stomach. "It's okay." Her voice went down to a whisper as the phone still rang. "It's okay. You're safe. Will's safe. Your mum's safe. It's okay, Jay." The boy relaxed, now wrapping his other arm around Cassie protectively.
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"you're the only one who keeps me sane"
*⁎ wondermusings ⁎* SPEAKS!
bob newby, you will always live in my heart
PUBLISHED: 25/04/2023