Have fun reading! Vote and comment! Sorry, some TW's...
TW! Self harm! Please get help from somebody professional if you're triggered by it!
TW! Smut! I put a warning in front and after the part. Skip it if you don't like it!
TW! Throwing up! Only a small part.
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The next day was... sore for Louis...
Louis' arse hurt much and even his stomach was playing dumb.
Luckily, Louis didn't need to do much today as the professors from uni had to go to 'school'. Only Harry had something to do. A date. With someone different to his own boyfriend.
(a/n: Idk if that exists at uni or in different countries hahaha)
Taylor was picking Harry up at 11 o'clock so they could grab some lunch and be back at around 2 o'clock.
So the fact that this was happening today and the stomach/arse pain weren't putting Louis into a good mood. He was sad, from the beginning of the morning. Not even Harry who surprised him with breakfast in bed could cheer him up.
"Please promise me, that you won't look at the articles? They'll just make you sad, ok?" Harry has said during the breakfast.
"I promise." Louis said grumpily, while eating a few grapes as his breakfast.
Harry gave Louis a lot of kisses and made sure he knew just how much he loved the shorter boy before he had to leave.
Taylor rang the doorbell just as Harry was ready.
"Hi, can I talk to Louis for a minute?" were the first words that left Taylor's mouth after Harry opened the door.
"Yeah sure, he's right there." Harry answered surprised, pointing to the couch in the living room.
"Hey Louis, I'm just here to explain that I want nothing from Harry, ok? I know this isn't easy for both of you and I'm not trying to break you guys up or something, but we're probably going to have to kiss, I'm sorry. I don't even want that, to be honest. I feel so bad. Please understand that it means nothing to me and that Harry loves you, ok? We're only friends. Please understand that." Taylor said in one go. She wanted to make sure that Louis knows that she doesn't want that.
"Thank you Taylor, I appreciate this." Louis said with a small smile.
"Bye, see you later, love you." Harry said and pecked Louis' lips one more time before they left.
Louis didn't see a reason in staying in the living room so he made his way upstairs to the music room. He could just try, couldn't he?
A few hours and a new tune later, Louis made his way out of the music room and inside the bedroom he shared with Harry.
He knew he promised Harry to not look at the new articles, but one or two wouldn't harm, would they?
Yes.
After reading two, Louis wanted to see more. So he googled for new Haylor pictures.
They were kissing in a booth of a restaurant.
That made Louis insanely insecure and sad.
What if he's not enough? What if Harry doesn't love him anymore? What if Harry ran just after he got sex?
All these thoughts were running through Louis' head when tears started to flow.
He needed to let them out. But how?
Yes, with the blade.
So he got up and walked towards his part of the closet where somewhere in the back, he hid his blade.
With his friend in his hands he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
His tears started to flow and there wasn't a stop in sight.
So he made his first cut.
And another one.
And he cut until there were five. Three on his left wrist and two on his right wrist.
He planned to make the third and last one extra painful. So he cut deeper than he probably have.
He just sat there and let himself feel the pain and see his own blood.
After a few minutes though, he felt himself get dizzy. So he quickly cleaned his cuts under running water and put some band-aid on them.
He would remove those before Harry came back.
He felt how his eyes became heavy so he set a timer for in an hour on his phone and fell asleep instantly.
At half past one, Louis woke up again and walked into the bathroom to remove the band-aid.
After that, he walked over to his closet and searched for some more bracelets to hide the new scars.
At quarter to 2, Louis wanted to look something up on his phone. But instead there were pictures of Haylor's date everywhere. There was no way around them. And that made Louis jealous.
Why could they go out together while Louis, the actual boyfriend, had to sit at home?!
But he didn't have much time to think about it and get more worked up as he heard Harry yelling "I'm home!" from downstairs and a door slamming.
And it didn't take Harry long to get upstairs to find Louis.
As soon as Harry entered the bedroom, Louis slammed him against the door and started to kissing him hard.
!!!SMUT!!!
Harry gasped in surprise but didn't pull away. Instead he opened his mouth for Louis to explore.
"You jealous?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows when he pulled away to breathe.
But that didn't stop Louis. Instead he got to work on Harry's neck. He sucked and bit on the soft skin there, making Harry moan.
He slowly began to undress Harry, kissing and biting him, leaving bruises shattered on Harry's body. You just have to mark what's yours, right?
When Harry only had his boxer on, Louis went up to Harry's face to kiss him heatedly again.
"off." Harry demanded between the kiss and tugged on Louis' clothes.
Louis pulled away from the kiss and took his shirt and pants off, leaving both of them in boxers.
Harry didn't seem to notice the new scars. But he was too distracted anyways.
Louis put his hand inside Harry's boxers and around Harry's bum, giving it a squeeze. Harry moaned loudly at that. He couldn't wait.
Louis put one finger around Harry's cute rim, just swiping over it. Harry didn't quite like the teasing and asked for more.
"Lou, please." he begged, wanting a finger inside him. So both of them laid down on the bed.
Louis didn't refuse the begging and took his hand out of Harry's boxers. He put it in front of his face and demanded "suck" to which Harry obliged with hungry eyes.
Then Louis put his hand back and didn't even give a warning before pushing one finger inside.
Harry moaned loudly and arched his back up from the mattress, wanting his tight boxers away. But Louis pushed his hips down again, didn't take the boxers away, and held him still while he fingered him open.
"More, Lou, please" Harry begged.
But Louis didn't listen. Instead he pulled his finger out, making Harry whimper.
With this hand, he pulled Harry's boxer down, his cock springing free. Harry moaned at the free feeling.
Louis pulled his boxers down too, kissing Harry deeply again and not breaking the kiss while reaching over for condom and lube.
"Please Lou, do something." Harry said with a broken voice.
"What do you want?" Louis asked with a smirk.
"Your fingers and then you, please Lou" Harry begged, making Louis' dick twitch and his pupils darken even more
Louis did exactly what Harry wanted. He added a second and third finger after a while, scissoring him open.
Harry was a mess. His hair standing up in every direction and he was panting in pleasure.
Suddenly, Louis curled his fingers. He hit exactly this one spot, making Harry scream in pleasure. And Harry could swear he could come right then and there.
"If you continue like that, I'm gonna come." Harry said after a while where Louis repeated his action.
Louis immediately pulled his fingers out, making Harry hiss at the empty and cold feeling. Louis reached for the condom which he put down beside them and rolled it on.
Then he lubed himself up and pumped a few times because it was just so tempting.
Harry watched that of course and that made him even harder if that's possible. It was just too hot.
Louis lined himself up at Harry's hole but didn't press inside yet.
"When was the last time?" Louis asked. He had to know if he had to be careful. But he probably wasn't even able to because jealousy was still running through his veins.
"I don't know" Harry managed to get out. It was quite distracting when the dick of your super hot boyfriend was pressing against your hole.
"C'mon, you know it" Louis demanded sternly, putting a bit more pressure against Harry's hole.
"a year ago?" Harry said. It came out more as a question because he couldn't remember. It was a drunken mistake.
"Oh god" Louis breathed out and slowly pushed inside.
"Fuck Haz."
Harry was tight and it was hot. He moaned and threw his head back in pleasure as he gave Harry time to adjust.
But Harry wouldn't have it. He wanted Louis to move. Now.
"Move, please, move" Harry begged.
"Even if I'm jealous right now, I don't want to hurt you." Louis managed out.
"I don't care, move." Harry begged again.
Louis finally complied, slowly thrusting in and out, making both of them moan loudly. They didn't care that everybody could hear them. They were too focused on each other.
"Faster, please, Louis ughh" Harry asked between moans.
Louis was still unsure about that because he wasn't inside Harry for long. But he complied anyway.
Harry moaned at the feeling and put his arms on Louis' back, scratching it. But Louis didn't seem to care and let him do.
"Ahh, ugh" Harry cried out. Yes, it hurt. But he didn't care. He quite liked it anyway.
The room was filled with moans from both of them and skin clapping against skin. The air was hot and their bodies were sweaty.
"Lou, ughhh" Harry said after a while and Louis could tell he was close. He was too.
"C'mon" Louis said and got Harry's dick in his hand, pumping it between their chests.
After a few more thrusts, Harry came with a loud moan, all over their chests.
Watching that and the clenching around his dick had Louis go closer to the edge.
Louis thrusted a few more times and came as Harry whimpered due to oversensitivity.
Louis rode out his high and then slowly pulled out when both of them caught their breaths.
Louis got up, threw his condom away, and got a towel to clean them up.
!!SMUT OVER!!
"Woah Lou, not that I mind, but what was that?" Harry asked after a minute.
"I don't know..." Louis answered with pink cheeks.
"Were you jealous?" the taller boy asked with a smirk.
"Maybe... but in my defense, I just wanted to look something up and your pictures were everywhere!" Louis said.
"Don't be jealous, ok? I want nothing from her and love only you. Taylor even said it herself." Harry said with a sad look.
And that made Louis feel guilty. Guilty about the happenings from earlier.
Harry caught that something was wrong. He knew Louis' guilty face.
"You didn't do anything Lou, did you?" he asked carefully with big eyes.
"NO!" Louis shouted defensively and got up to put on some clothes. Harry's hoodie and sweats to be specific. And he threw some clothes at Harry too so he could put them on. That's what he did but he didn't give up on that topic.
"Lou? Really? Can I see your wrists?" Harry asked again, this time with tears in his green eyes.
"No, now drop it." Louis said annoyed, not making eye contact with Harry because he knew he would break down.
But Harry didn't drop it and carefully took Louis wrists in his hands.
This time, Louis didn't fight it. Harry would find out anyways.
Only then Harry noticed the extra bracelets.
He slowly pushed them away, only to reveal six new cuts.
Harry dropped his wrists, put his face in his hands, and his shoulders started to shake.
"Harry?" Louis asked hesitantly.
But Harry didn't look up. He just kept on shaking and started to cry for real.
"No, Hazza, don't cry, please." Louis pleaded when he realized that Harry was shaking because he was crying.
"What can I do to help you? I'm so sorry, baby." Harry said with a voice that shows exactly that he was crying.
"Stop crying, please" Louis said as tears started to pool in his eyes too. He couldn't see Harry cry. Especially when he's crying because of him.
"Please stop it, I don't want you to slowly kill yourself while I'm out with my stunt" Harry cried out.
And with that Louis started to sob too. He couldn't seem to stop.
"c'mon." Harry said and pulled Louis onto his lap and into his arms.
"Just, why? Why, Lou? You're the most wonderful person, inside out. I love you so fucking much it hurts. Your smile lights my world up, makes me smile too. I'm happy when you're around. I was never that happy before. You make me so fucking happy and I love you. So please stop." Harry said brokenly.
"I'm sorry." Louis answered, dodging the question.
At that, Harry breathed out a sob and hugged Louis even tighter.
"C'mon, we gotta eat dinner with the guys." Harry said with a raspy voice after a while when they both calmed down.
"I don't want to eat. I'm not hungry." Louis mumbled into Harry's chest. His stomach still hurts from the morning but he didn't tell Harry that.
"Please try to eat something, ok? For me?" Harry begged and picked Louis up bridal style and started to walk downstairs.
Louis protested at first but then dropped it, just to make Harry happy.
At dinner, both of the boys were silent. They looked broken and exhausted and the other boys didn't say something about it.
Louis ate little. He tried, he really did. But he couldn't seem to stomach more than a few bites.
After dinner, the couple went upstairs and just cuddled. They didn't talk. Not much anyways. Just small 'I love you's here and there. And in between they got ready for bed. But nothing more than that happened.
And after a few hours, Harry's breathing slowly evened out and he fell asleep.
But Louis could only dream about sleeping. His stomach pain got worse over the last few hours. He just wanted to curl up, but he was spooning Harry so that wasn't an option. He didn't want to wake Harry so he slowly got up and towards the bathroom where he actually just wanted to take some pills. But instead, he threw up the dinner.
After he finished and brushed his teeth before taking some pills with a gulp of water, he went back to bed only to see Harry still sleeping.
He slowly got under the covers again and put an arm around Harry, not fully spooning. Just so Harry feels like he's the little spoon and Louis could curl his legs towards his body.
In this position, Louis fell asleep too, hoping tomorrow was better.
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If a friend of yours does self harm, help them! Take action.
If you feel like they're suicidal and it's really serious: don't wait, don't ask them, tell an adult, and just decide for them. Say something like "we are going there then. No matter what."
Yeah, if you need help, even just for a friend: ask an adult or write me. I'm currently talking to a woman from the school's support team and she's there for exactly these problems.
hope you liked it! Please vote, thank you!
Lots of love
- Li