It was taking awhile for that boy he liked to talk to him again. They seemed to just have stopped hanging out and he was having second thoughts. Maybe he had gotten bored of him, maybe it was better for him to stick to what he knew. But he couldn’t help himself from having a feeling that his mind was getting it wrong, his gut was insisting that he should just wait a little longer.
Better yet: take the initiative himself.
.
Maybe a week had passed since then. To be honest, Minho wasn’t too sure how much time had passed for certain, he’s been so run down and out of it to really even bother caring whether today was a Tuesday or a Wednesday. It was so much effort for something so unimportant. Besides, it wasn’t like there was anyone or anything for him to care about at the moment, everyday seemed to just drag on and on. All he could do was hope that he’d run into Seungmin on campus or that he’d get a text, a call — something. He hadn’t been too lucky as of late. It was getting to a point that he was beginning to wonder whether everyone had finally given up on him. Ever since the verbal fight with Felix, he’s discovered that he’d been kicked out of their groupchat and blocked by them. They didn’t want anything to do with him anymore it seemed, well, except for maybe Jisung. They had yet to block his number and sometimes, when Minho walked past his classes, they’d lock eyes for a while. It was like Jisung wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself too. Like he wanted to come and talk in secret, behind the other two’s backs.
Did Jisung think he could fix him?
Minho felt like he needed fixing.
There had to be something wrong with him, something broken for him to be so hung up on some boy that meant nothing. What was there about Seungmin that was so special to his stupid heart? There shouldn’t be anything yet here he is, grasping on for just the smallest lick of attention like some lost kitten holding out for some kind stranger to take them home with them. He was hopeless.
They were right. When he met Seungmin, he was felt up against his will and Jisung defended him, helped him get out of that situation. They were just worried. Maybe. He wasn't too sure if he was completely honest, it confused him wholeheartedly. If they worried for him, why would they push him away? Why would they let him keep pursuing the one person they don't want him to? It didn't add up, it was so conflicting and he just couldn't get his head around anything.
He hated trying to decode people. Everything about them was so confusing and it was nigh on impossible to figure out. Their intentions were never clear. He hated how stupid he felt. He hated how lonely he was now because of it.
If he could, maybe he would hang out more with Lisa or Hyunjin but he was scared of them, well, more so he was afraid of their friends and what they’d think of him intruding but even still the thought stands. Minho was no more than a prisoner to his own mind, he knew so, it was impossible to escape the endless doubts that had been running around up there lately that he finds giving up to be the easiest solution. Let his mind rule for him, he’ll just study and prepare ideas for his dissertation instead.
He slung his heavy bag over his shoulder. It has less stuff in it than normal, yet it feels heavier than usual. Maybe he was just getting weaker, he was so tired lately too, worrying over his lack of friends and thinking too hard about Seungmin every night. Gosh, that boy never left his mind, did he? Everything was Seungmin, he was almost obsessed. Then again, this is technically the first ever proper crush he’s had, the first he’s at least close enough with to actually have reasonable hope to get anywhere. They were already almost dating after all. Maybe he should make the first step and ask if they could be official… anything that meant he wouldn’t be so alone like this. Would they get to spend more time with each other if they were actually boyfriends? Would Minho get to meet his friends?
Did Seungmin… have friends?
Sighing, Minho meandered his way through the halls, letting his feet guide him around to the back of the school while he scrolled through his apps on his phone, tapping contacts and finding Seungmin’s almost immediately. He had given Seungmin his old phone through the post several days ago and it seemed that the third year had successfully moved himself onto that phone now instead. No more unsolicited pictures, the only contacts he had were ones he wanted, not ones he was forced into having and only him and those he trusted knew about this phone. Minho had explained to Seungmin’s mum about the new phone stuff, she understood but was genuinely taken aback and upset to have heard from him that her son was getting such disgusting things sent to him. Maybe that’s why Seungmin hadn’t sought out speaking to him lately.
— 승민니 —
hey seunggg
how are you lovely??
i have something i really wanna ask you…
HYUNNNGGGG AHH
IVE MISSED YOU IM GONNA CRYYY TT
haha cutie <33
Its only been several daysss
Felt like foreverrrrrr :/
Im omw to the back of the uni
Are you round there?
Yeah
Theres no crowd
Im drinking on my own <3
Ok save me some
My lecture fucking sucked :/
I got plenty to share
Hurrryyy i want my almost-boyfriend rn pls i like him very much and want to cuddle and hold hands and stuff 👉👈
Your almost-boyfriend is almost there <3
—
Minho felt a rush of relief crash through him as he pocketed his phone. Speaking to Seungmin felt so rewarding and invigorated him with much needed energy to push through the last of the day. He had almost forgotten how incredible it was to talk to another person over text like that, especially when he knew he would be talking to them in a matter of minutes, face to face. He rounded the corner of the furthest building from the campus gates and let his feet lead the rest of the way to Seungmin's popular little bench. Even from the distance, he could see the guy lounging on his own, beer can in hand and phone in the other. He looked so oddly attractive just sitting there. Something about Seungmin had him completely in love, to the point that maybe he was stupid.
But it was the best kind of stupid, was it not?
He called out the pinkette’s name and waved, receiving a just as eager wave in return. As he jogged over and drew closer, he noticed that Seungmin’s hair was a lot more brown now, the pink being a lot less noticeable at first as his natural hair had pushed it to be mainly streaks around here and there. He mustn’t have dyed it for a while, it was alright though because he looked just as adorable even without his signature colour being so prominent on his pretty little head. After a few more paces, Minho let out a hefty exhale as he plopped down on the bench beside him, close as always, eager to be in the third year’s presence.
“It’s been so long, what have you been up to?” Minho asked, trying to play up his casualness as he reached for one of the unopened cans of beer (of which there were two, maybe Seungmin was planning on getting extra drunk on his own or something). The third year had a bashful look on his fasce, pleasantly accompanied by his slight flushed glow from the alcohol. He wasn’t too drunk, based on the clearness of his eyes but he was redder than he should be for someone only a little bit tipsy at best.
“Studying, I’ve got this awful project at the moment but,” He took a moment to take a swig of his beer before continuing. “Mark’s helping me out with it, he’s such a sweetheart, honestly.”
“Is this… Mark Tuan?”
“Oh! You know him?” Seungmin sounded shocked. It was kind of laughable because of course everyone knew the ‘Markson’ iconic couple by face and name, though he supposes that Seungmin may have made the assumption that he knew Mark beyond that. He didn’t, he’d spoken to Mark, helped him out through a slight rough spot and they worked on a paired project, but other than that he didn’t actually know the guy as a person per se.
“Not really, helped him with an issue he had with his boyfriend a while ago and worked on a project together that’s it.”
“... He should break up.” Seungmin sighed, suddenly downcast at the implication of Jackson. It was only reasonable that Minho assumed something must’ve happened between the two again. Probably something out of Mark’s control as well since Jackson seemed like he was just doing whatever he wanted, with no regard for his supposedly significant other. “All Jackson does is cheat lately. I don’t get why he’s still holding on… I’d have given up a long time ago.”
“They’ve been together for so long though, haven’t they? That’s probably why. It’s hard to let go of your first love, or so they say.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Um… speaking of love…” Minho awkwardly cleared his throat and segwayed into the big question that had been laying heavy on his heart for a little while now. He scooted a little closer, until their thighs were touching. It was a little bit of a shame that Seungmin was wearing sweats today, he craved to feel the younger’s skin against him but he supposes that he can make do. There was always a next time, or so he kept telling himself. “I was wondering… If we could be boyfriends? None of this ‘almost’ stuff, I want us to really belong to each other… What do you think?”
“... Hyung, I…”
Seungmin seemed at a loss for words.
Minho felt like he might have pushed a boundary. Maybe they were going to fast still, maybe—
“Hyung, I want to… I want to be your boyfriend. Your real boyfriend.” Seungmin smiled and face the other head on, looking up at his eyes. He was so beautiful when he looked at him like this and Minho couldn’t hold himself back from leaning down, their foreheads knocking together and eyes slipping shut. All he wanted was to feel those pretty little lips on his, so he went for it, inching his lips towards Seungmin’s until for a brief moment he thought they would touch but two fingers slipped in his way. He sighed and opened his eyes, seeing a giggly third year right in front of him. “Still too scared to kiss you properly…”
“You don’t have to be, I’ll guide it if you want?”
Seungmin shook his head, guess there was no winning here. Minho didn’t let it bother him, instead agreeing with the third year’s choice and leaving a small peck on the corner of his mouth instead. It was the closest he was going to get for now but he was sated.
“... Um, hyungie, do you wanna stay over at mine tonight? My mum’s gonna be out and I’ve only got like two more assignments to do so I have some free time and…” Seungmin shied up towards the end, a sheepish smile growing on his lips. “I… kind of want to cuddle…”
“Anything you want, I’d do it without a second thought.” Minho said, poking Seungmin’s cute little nose with a grin. “I’ll have to try and get Jisung to lock up my apartment for me though… he probably won’t but…”
“Why wouldn’t he? You guys are close, right?”
Ah.
Minho really didn’t want to explain this. It would probably upset Seungmin to hear what happened because of their relationship. He couldn’t tell him. He didn’t want to ruin what they had just started.
“Um… just had a little falling out is all. He’ll come around eventually, don’t worry about it.” He said, effortlessly lying his way out of admitting the full truth. Seungmin nodded, seeming satisfied with the answer. “Anyway, wanna head out of here? I haven’t got another class for about two hours so…?”
“Yeah! There’s a coffee shop nearby, we can have our first date!”
~👠~