TW: this fic has a trigger warning so read at your own risk. if you ever feel like you have to "get rid of yourself because you're 'just a burden'" know that you're wrong. you are perfect and if you need help, call the suicide hotline 988.
"I'm just a burden. No one will care. Just do it." Griffin thought.
He continued on when suddenly he felt his bedroom door open.
"Shoot." Griffin muttered.
Harper walked into the room, confused as to why the lights were off and the blinds were closed.
"Griffin? Are you in here?" Harper asked.
"Hey babe. Yeah, I'm here." Griffin responded, tucking the knife away in his pocket. "How are you doing?
"I'm good. Are you okay?" Harper asked, still confused.
"Yeah. I'm good, I'm fine, yeah." Griffin said with a sigh.
"What are you doing?" Harper asked.
"I'm just... relaxing." Griffin lied.
"In the dark?" Harper asked, flipping on the lights.
"Yeah, why not?" Griffin answered.
"And, all alone?" Harper asked skeptically.
"I like being alone." Griffin said defensively. "But I'm glad you're here now." He said with a forced smile.
"Good." Harper said with a smile before pecking him on the lips.
Harper sat on the bed as Griffin shifted and winced.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Harper asked.
"Yeah, I'm good. Why?" Griffin asked.
"Because you winced." Harper said with concern in her features.
"Winced? No. I don't wince. I don't feel pain." Griffin joked weakly.
"Don't start with me Campbell." She said with a chuckle.
Griffin forced a smile.
"Griff, are you sure you're okay? You seem stressed. You know you can tell me anything right?" Harper said.
"Nah, I'm fine Harp. Perfectly okay." Griffin answered.
He leaned in and kissed her. His phone buzzed.
"My phone is blowing up today." Griffin said.
"Why?" Harper asked.
"No idea. Couldn't tell ya." He said.
He reached into his pocket to grab the phone.
"Anyways, what brings you-" Griffin was cut off by the thud as his knife hit the bed.
Harper inhaled sharply as she saw what this was. Griffin closed his eyes and sighed.
"What's this Griffin?" Harper asked.
"That? Oh, it's just for... um... tricks. Yeah, tricks. You flip it around and it's cool and stuff. Every boy in our class has one so..." Griffin lied.
"Let me see it." Harper said, holding her hand out.
"W-why? You don't have t-to." Griffin stuttered.
"Give it to me Griffin. Now." She said.
"Ok, fine. Just don't hurt yourself with it. Be careful." Griffin said.
Harper took it from him. She examined it.
"Why is there blood on it?" Harper asked, voice breaking.
"That's just the uh, paint finish. Yeah. I thought it looked cool cause of all the tricks, ya know?" Griffin said.
Harper set it down on his night stand.
"Let me see your wrists." Harper instructed.
"Okay, fine." Griffin said. He rolled them up. "See? Nothing to worry about." He said.
"Roll up your shirt." Harper instructed.
"Sorry, what?" Griffin asked.
"You heard me. Do it." Harper said firmly.
"But, uh, I d-don't sleep with my shirt off because, well because it uh, it gets cold. Yeah, cold." Griffin stuttered.
"Campbell, I said now." Harper said.
"Okay, okay, fine. I'll roll up my shirt." Griffin said.
He sat there.
"Griffin!" Harper exclaimed.
"Okay, fine!" Griffin shouted, rolling up his shirt.
A tear fell from his face as Harper's mouth opened and shut. She sighed and and closed her eyes. Griffin put down his shirt and batted at his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He said. Harper didn't reply.
Her breathing got heavier as her eyes remained closed.
"Harper, please say something. Anything. You can scream at me for all I care. Just say something." He pleaded.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes. Griffin pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head doing everything in his power not to cry.
"Why Griff?" Harper asked, breaking the silence.
He lifted his head and sniffled.
"I'm sorry, and I know this makes you upset." He replied.
"That wasn't the question." Harper stated firmly. "Why?"
"Because I felt like I had to! I know there's something wrong with me, and I just feel like the world doesn't care anymore. I just wanted to feel something. I couldn't do my wrists cause I knew you would find them easily, so I started doing my chest. So I could hide it." Griffin spoke, looking down shamefully.
"Griffin...Oh god. Look at me please." Harper instructed.
He gently looked up. She smiled slightly as she looked into his pretty brown eyes. She wiped a falling tear from his face.
"Listen Griff, I'm so so sorry that you felt like you were in a situation where you felt the need to hurt yourself like that. Just know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Okay? Nothing. Even if you feel as though the world doesn't care, there are still people in it that do. Your parents, the twins, and my family, and the person who cares the most. Me! Griffin, if I ever lost you, I don't know what I'd do. I love you, so so much, and no matter what you do, I will continue to love you. But, if you were hurting, instead of doing this," she paused gesturing to the knife on the table. "you could have talked to me babe." Harper instructed.
Griffin nodded.
"I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna leave this world, I don't wanna hurt myself. But I feel like I had to. I feel like, like I'm just a burden. I feel like people come and go in my life, they leave because of me, and I feel like they only come because they have to." Griffin said sadly.
"Oh, Griff. Is this about your dad?" Harper asked. Griffin's dad had left after a huge fight with his mom. He hadn't been back for about a month now.
"Partially, I don't know. I guess a lot of things caused it." He replied.
Harper sighed.
"I love you, I really do, and I know how upset this makes you and I understand if you wanna just, break up or something but I'm really sorry, and I do, I DO, love you. More than anything." Griffin said breaking into tears.
"Griffin, I'm not mad, nor do I wanna break up with you! I'm not mad, I'm not even disappointed. I'm scared! My boyfriend, my everything, is hurting himself like this. I'm worried about you Griff!" Harper exclaimed.
Griffin clamped his eyes shut and the tears started falling freely down his face.
"What's on your mind?" Harper asked, gesturing to the tears.
"I'm scared too. I don't know what's going on and I wish I did. It's like I don't have control over my emotions anymore. I want to relax, I want to just breathe. But I just feel stressed all of the time. I just wanted to take my mind off of it. So that's what I did." He said, glancing over at the knife.
Harper pulled him in to a gentle hug, being careful not to hurt his open cuts. He laid his head on her shoulder and tried to steady his breathing. Harper rubbed his back and gently kissed his head.
"Griffin, you have to promise me that you'll find another way to take your mind off of things. You have to promise me that you'll stop hurting yourself like this." Harper pleaded.
"I'll do better. I promise. For you." He promised.
"Good, now relax." Harper wrapped her arms around him. "I've got you."
"I'm sorry." Griffin said yet again.
"It's okay. Just relax Griff." Harper said.
He took some deep breaths and lifted his head off of Harper's shoulder.
"Thank you for being comforting instead of, you know, just screaming at me." Griffin said.
"Any time." Harper said, with a small smile.
She leaned in and kissed him gently.
She then gently nudged Griffin head back onto her shoulder. He closed his eyes and practiced deep breathing.
"Thank you." Griffin said.
"I love you." Harper said.
They kissed.